//------------------------------// // Pattern Steel and Swift Ace // Story: The Band of Invincible Idiots // by bluemoon1996 //------------------------------// When Ryan could see again, all he could see was darkness. For the love of Celestia, if Discord blinded me, I'm going to shove my sword so far down his gullet, he'll be crapping out... Sharp pointy things; damn, didn't think that all the way out. He let out a sigh and just stared forward, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. As he did so, his vision indeed began to clear up and he noticed something dark spread out far below him. He raised an eyebrow as he looked down, is that the ground? It seems pretty far away? It was in that moment that he heard the flapping behind him and looked over his shoulder to see his flapping wings. And it was in that moment that he invoked a rather simple natural phenomena. Now, some people do things so automatically that they don't ever think about it. But when they do think about it, they can't get it to work anymore. When Ryan looked at his wings, it had that exact same effect. The moment he realized that he was airborne, he, like the good human he had been, probably asked the worst question of his life. How? How am I flying?? With that simple thought the damage was done. And with a rather unmanly scream, he fell from the sky into the forest below. Pattern Steel quietly moved through the forest undergrowth; well, quiet isn't exactly the correct term. It's kind of impossible to move quietly when you clank like kitchen while walking due to heavy iron armor. The darkness now provided little hindrance thanks to the recent transformations. He now found himself to be a rust colored thestral with a dark purple mane with a teal stripe. Muscles rippled under his coat with every movement and leathery wings twitched unconsciously in the cool night air. However, there was one rather drastic change that he has suffered aside from the species change; he was now a she. Yep, if the sleek figure and feminine voice didn't give it away; that human was most definitely a mare now. The surprise of this gender swap wasn't all that, well, surprising to her. She had seen it coming once Discord had given them their equipment and hers happened to be the same equipment she had chosen for the thestral. She had wanted to freak out but kept it compartmentalized; there was no point having a mental breakdown about something that would eventually be fixed when they beat this game after all. Besides, Doppel was the one having the freak out, and with the changeling's penchant for the melodramatic. As she continued to klunk her way through the woods, her mind started to wander to why she was wandering in the first place. Where the buck were her friends? They had to be somewhere nearby at least; Discord may be a trickster god but what he wasn't a dick who'd drop them all across Equestria... Would he? She shook her head, 'No, don't think like that. Doppel and the stallions gotta be around here somewhe-." "AAAAAAHHHHH!" Pattern's gaze turned skyward just in time to see a pegasi fall from the sky, breaking through the canopy before slamming into the ground with enough speed and force to make a small crater. The thestral cringed before running up to the edge of the crater. Looking down, she saw a light brown pegasi with a purple mane in a dark coat half embedded Into the bottom of the crater. The pegasi let out a pained groan and Pattern let out a sigh of relief; the pony wasn't dead. "Hey, hey, you okay down there?" She asked as she slid down into the crater. However, she didn't stick the landing and tripped, landing on top the pegasi. The pony let out a pained groan, "what fell on me..." This caused Pattern's eyes to widen in surprise. She knew that voice! "Swift! Swift Ace? It's me Pattern!" Swift Ace let out a groan, "P-pattern? I thought that fat flank was familiar. Now could you get off me?" "S-sorry," she said quietly before getting off of him and sitting beside Swift. It took him several minutes but Swift was able to pull himself free but soon Pattern was helping him peel himself from the ground. She couldn't help but giggle as she saw his eyes; he had gone walleyed. "What the? I can't see straight!" He said, fear clearly evident in his voice. "Your eyes have gone Derpy" Pattern replied with a smirk, "I think I can fix it." "Do it! I don't want to be crosseyed too. I am goi- OW!" His sentence was cut short when Pattern slapped the side of his head hard. "GAH! What the buck was that for?" He said, his eyes shut as he rubbed the side of his head. "Open your eyes," she replied flatly. He did as asked; blinking several times before opening them fully, and his eyes were now facing the same direction once again. "You could have given me at least some warning okay," He added, wincing as he rubbed his head. "Yeah, but you needed that; you were a total jerk to Spring." "He deserved it; he wanted to do this! Play a mad god's game and now we're all stuck here! Tartarus you're a mare Pattern; a mare!" With that, he groaned, "damn these ponyisms." "Yeah, I'm a mare; but that doesn't mean I'm mad." Her wings twitched behind her, "we have wings Swift! Wings! We can fly!" "But you're a mare!" "Wings!" He groaned, rubbing his eyes; despite her shyness, Pattern was one of the most stubborn ponies that he knew. The only one with a thicker skull was Doppel but that was a whole different story. "You really do have one of the more hard headed ponies I know." She gave him a cheeky fanged smile, "I know, and you're-" *clap clap clap* Before she could finish her statement, the sound of somepony clapping filled the air. Slowly, both their gazes turned up to the lip of the crater; they were not alone. A group of four stallions stood around them; their attire reminded both of the former humans of Roman legionaries just covered in golden metal instead. One stallion, a unicorn clearly in charge due to the fanciness of his helmet, clapped slowly as he looked down at the two of them with a smirk on his face. "Oh how very touching," he said, his voice cold and calculating, "a pegasi in love with those bastard children of Hollow Shades." Both Swift and Pattern jumped to their feet. "I'm not in love with her," Swift growled, despite the blush on his face, "she's an old friend!" "And who are you calling a bastard you inbred Canterlot hornhead!" Pattern hissed, baring her fangs. The unicorn chuckled before looking at Pattern, "you thestrals are all traitors to Equestria; siding with your precious Princess of the Night." Pattern blinked in surprise.Traitors to Equestria? What the buck does that mean? The bat ponies were all faithful guard to Princess Luna... Oh no.... Slowly, she looked up through towards the sky, a sinking feeling forming in her gut. And when she saw the moon overhead; the Mare in the Moon wasn't there! Nightmare Moon wasn't banished! The unicorn let out a chuckle as his gaze followed hers, "that's right, you dumb vampire. That traitor Luna, or should I say Nightmare Moon as she's taken to calling herself, isn't going to save you now." "B-but I'm not a s-soldier," she squeaked, her shyness coming back in full force. He laughed, "I could frankly care less." With that he looked over at a pair of his soldiers, "get them out of that hole." The two guards nodded and their horns began to light up. A magical aura surrounded Swift and Pattern found themselves being lifted into the air before being thrown onto to the ground roughly. Both let out grunts of pain as they landed in a heap. "Get up," the unicorn ordered and slowly, the two got to their hooves. "Draw your weapons." "Umm wat?" Swift and Pattern looked at the unicorn in confusion. "I'm not going to murder you," he said, a cruel smile growing on his face, "but I don't mind self defense. Now draw your weapons." With that, the unicorn drew his ornate sword from its scabbard. The three other soldiers drew their own weapons too; two were armed with swords and wooden shields painted with sun motifs and the third had a large battle axe that would have made a dwarf feel incompetent. "I said draw your weapons," the unicorn repeated himself, and his blade suddenly engulfed in fire. "Well shit," Swift said flatly as he drew his sword, "I hate enchanted weapons."