Sitting on the dark quiet bus, only the earbuds singing into my head kept me from thinking hard about my burning lower body. And keeping the images of my confused father on top of me loosing his ratty work suit.
It was kind of a thankful moment that no one was next to me, but at the same time I wanted someone that I could vent out to. A person who would take time out of their lives to even talk to me; like Lily and Jayson used to do for me.
As I entered the doors of my high school, the threat of being alone weighing heavy on my heart. Jayson all happy with his new girlfriend. Before I met Drake, Jayson was the only boy who would come even close to me. I kind of liked him I have to confess.
His flipped deep black hair, the diamond blue eyes, the hint of brown hidden in the roots of his head, the kind personality he had, and then the way he was always there for me.
Then I met Drake and he became very quiet and anti-social towards me for a little while, then he finally let Drake into the group he was back to normal, sort of. He began getting a little snippy, but only when Drake was around.
"Is Drake with you? You're little latchy bastard?" Jayson would ask everytime he would call me.
"Jayson... Drake never comes home with me. You don't have to ask everytime you call me." I would respond back every phone call.
That should've been my clue that Jayson was either jealous or he was trying to tell me that I was going to get hurt. I wish I was smart enough to listen to his, somewhat, cryptic messages.
"Olivia!" a familiar voice called out towards me beaten ears, "Olivia Myers!"
Shaking out of memory lane, I turned around to the sound of the voice calling my name. Quickly walking up to me was Jayson all by himself, his new mare-friend was either sick, out of town, or maybe had some sense knocked into her to let him be mine.
Hey Jayson! Look man, Drake broke up with me and all I want is you, I wanted to say, but all that my mouth could even say was, "Hey Jayson. How are you and your mare-friend doing?"
"We are doing alright. We just had a little argument about nothing of real importance. How about you and Drake?"
He broke up with me... Small tears swelled up in my eyes turning them pink-ish but I stopped the tears and lied, "Everything's okay, Drake's not here today."
"Olivia... He was on my bus waiting for you."
"I can promise you that he's not waiting for me." I mumbled under my breath.
"What?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it. It'll just be another burden on your plate of shit."
"Olivia what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong!" I turned and stormed off, not turning my back to face Jayson who was probably chasing after me.
He usually can see when something is wrong with me, even when I hide my emotions from him. Probably storming away he'll see me at lunch possibly, interrogating me like I'm some kind of criminal. Why does he even care anyways? His girlfriend, Vivianna, should be his number one priority. Jayson said so himself when Lily and him yelled at each other.
All I can rememeber was Lily and I approached him, his girlfriend Vivianna at his side, and then Vivianna and all her friends backed off as Lily and I came close.
"Where have you been?!" Lily snapped. Jayson quickly turned around from the sound of Lily's voice. She never really snapped, only if you had really pissed her off.
"I've been busy with Vivianna," Jayson responded, "Oh, have you met her yet? Vivianna... This is Lil-"
"Whatever! Jayson why haven't you been with us? Drake has disappeared so you don't have to worry about him."
"Why do you think I'm worried about that bastard still? I'm not that's for sure. My mare-friend in more important that all of you!"
After that Jayson never came to the table, like he had just disappeared off the face of the planet. This had happened a little over ten months ago. Now he is talking to me again, after Vivianna and him argued.
Once the bell rang, telling us to make a beeline to our first period class. I didn't hesitate, dashing through the crowded hallways to make my way to chorus class, Lily and I used to have that class together. But we weren't on the same side based on our voice ranges, Lily was over in the Alto group and I was over with the sopranos.
Drake even had that class, over in the tenor group. He was an amazing singer, like just as good as the, probably, unknown artist to America, John Barrowman. The notes flowed out of his mouth like a calm river, like the St. John's River in Jacksonville, FL.
"Alright everyone, get your binders out, time for a test. The music you had to find for homework, pull it out and we are going to sing them." Mr. Daniel instructed, "I hope you all practiced your songs. Get with your partners and I'll give you about ten minutes to practice one last time."
My partner was one of the most popular boys at school, Nathaniel Bruce. A short senior man, his hair was always dolled up in a manly way, his hair color was blond mixed with tones of a sharp burnette color, and then his silver eyes. Nathaniel wasn't blind, but he was born with one of the rarest eye colors in the world.
"Hello Olivia!" Nathaniel greeted, "Are you ready for the song to be presented?"
"Yeah. I'm ready." I softly responded, "Do you want to practice one last time?"
"Only if you need to I'm all ready to go."
I don't want to do this test. I debated, But I also don't want Nathaniel to fail. "I'm all ready to go."
"Nathaniel and Olivia! You're up." Mr. Daniel called.
Nathaniel and I walked up to the front of the room, Mr. Daniel hit the play button on the music as it sang out through the speakers. Nathaniel and I looked at each other and smiled.
Once the piano in the song, Just a Dream, stopped and the drums had replaced them, Nathaniel took a breath and began to sing.
Once the song ended ever-pony stomped, Nathaniel and I walked off, he soon grabbed my hand. Frozen in my tracks, Nathaniel looked at me and said, "Thank you Olivia. You're a great singer by the way."
"Thank you." I responded, "If there is another chance like this, do you want to be my partner again?"
"Well I don't want to take you away from your stallion-friend Drake."
He's not my stallion-friend. "Oh, yeah... Well it was nice getting to be your partner Nathaniel."
"Same here; one day we can do it again. But don't leave out Drake."
I nodded my head, Nathaniel walked away to his group of friends that were still practicing. Sitting down at my spot, Drake making his way up to the front of the classroom he just stared at me. The kind of stare that would make every fiber of your body just twist and turn.
The entire time before and after his turn, Drake just gave this discomforting stare to me. His emerald green eyes seemed to turn blood red, stabbing knives deep into my heart. The wound Drake left on my heart, the months of shutting me out and then finding out the he found another mare that meant more to him than he did to me.
***
Heading down the freshman hallway, the same hallway I walked down just two years ago, I stopped at a science classroom where to the side of the cream colored door saying Ms. Eclipse. I remember sitting in that class with Lily always next to me, even though we talked a lot but we knew when it was a good time to and when it wasn't. Lily and I were the best in the entire class, us against the other kids at our age.
I opened the door, poking my head into the slightly open door, at the teacher's desk sat Ms. Eclipse with her cell phone in front of her. She glanced over at her door and smiled her friendly smile.
"Hey Olivia, my star student. Haven't seen you in a long time, I've been missing you and Lily. How have you two been doing?" Ms. Eclipse greeted trying to start a conversation.
I nodded my head and masked on a smile. Ms. Eclipse's smile disappeared and she returned to her phone. I turned to my drawing pad laying on the desk. Glancing over at the empty desk next to me, Lily's presence still lingered amongst the room but only for a moment. She was there, then she was gone, just like how she just moved away without any warning.
I remember that whenever Ms. Eclipse would assign a project Lily and I would always do it together and have it done DAYS before it was due. We always worked so hard together so then we could just hang out. I never was at home, with both of my parents disappearing for long periods of time, Lily would always take me home with her.
Well, to say the least, Lily and both of her parents would treat me like I was a sister or their own daughter. The way I wanted my parents to do for me; take time out of their lives to take care of their only daughter. No one to help me with homework, no one to talk about my days worries to, or to even have around to protect me.
I had even gone on some animal rescue sites, just to have something that I could care for and would return the favor by listening to my pointless dramas, one who would love me unconditionally. A dog... One day I asked my mom for one, her clothes stained and musty from the heavy smoke. She looked at me with her tired eyes and told me, "You don't have enough responsibility for a dog."
"Yes I do, you guys probably don't know much about caring for a kid. You and dad are barely home!" I angrily said.
Mom quickly got up and told me, "Go to your room and sit there until you have some respect for us."
"I'm only telling the truth."
Those were the last words I told my mom before she started getting hazy, shortly after she had lost her job. Maybe it was my fault that mom left causing my father to lash out the way that he did. Smashing everything, going into a bar, and then thinking that I was Taylor, forgetting about me his only filly.
***
Sitting in the dark room I call my bedroom, all against the enlightened hallways that ganged up on me to come inside. But each attempt the light tried to seep into my room was futile. As I laid on my bed pondering on what I could possibly do, now that this whole world was against me.
My eyes slowly started to close as I was suddenly awaken by the vibrations of my cell phone still in my pocket against my warm world that always kept me safe where nothing went wrong. Looking at the screen, in pixels above the green answer button was Jayson Reed...
Taking a deep breath I hit the green button, "Hello." I said.
"Hey Olivia. What's going on with you? First you snap at me, and then you weren't at lunch. What's the dealio?" Jayson quickly asked.
"I told you Jayson, nothing is wrong."
"I can tell something is wrong. I first got a weird vibe from you this morning and you have been on my mind since then. You seemed out of the puzzle today. Now tell me Olivia Myers, what's wrong?!"
I remained silent on the other end of the line. He needed to think that everything was okay, when it really wasn't.
"Olivia, I know you are doing your bitchy, pissed off silence again and quite frankly, it's really annoying."
"Well it's really annoying to find out that both your best friends are well beyond happy without you around. Like you mean nothing to them anymore. Running off with their mare-friend and then leaving me with nothing but the damn clothes on my back. Everyone abandoning you because nothing matters about yourself to them anymore."
I quickly hung up and threw my phone across my bedroom, slamming my tear stained face on the white pillow that just hugged the pain, struggling to take it all away. Soon my phone twinkled indicating that a text had come through.
I didn't move, my phone could just buzz on forever. No one was going to find out what really was going on inside by broken mind. The pieces left shattered across the floor, unwilling to get up or to even ask someone for help, just to be shattered again.
The walls of my little, warm world began to collapse tearing apart piece by piece with all the pain in my head. My world, struggling to stay strong, stronger than the stones that banged up against it. Each stone of the tall wall just kept coming stronger, weakening the once strong willed wall.
The now, prisoner of love...