//------------------------------// // Anxiety // Story: Unnatural Existence // by ShadowKirby //------------------------------// 'My turn, Pinkie!' I demanded as soon as the clock struck four in the afternoon, signifying the end of her shift at the bakery. "Okie dokie loki!" Gosh her cheerfulness was painful... A few seconds later my nerves actually connected to my mind once again and my hair went flat, indicating my control. Thank goodness, too, as that curly mess of a mane was just hideous to me; straight hair was the way to go, I don't care who you are. 'Hey! That's not very nice! Besides, I think my mane is great!' 'Of course you would...' I rolled my eyes. Taking a deep breath and stretching a bit at the simple enjoyment of movement for a moment, I grinned in excitement at the prospect of the day ahead of me. 'My turn now!' Pushing open the door to the now empty bakery with the usual jingle sound, I headed outdoors and quickly trotted along the dirt road to the outskirts of town. My control was time for quiet. Another positive to my turn wasn't just that I could do as I pleased; it was that I couldn't constantly hear Pinkie's racing thoughts. Of course, she could hear mine, and that invasion of privacy was frustrating, but it was only one con among a pile of pros. It seemed no ponies were around this end of town, which I was grateful for. The less others there were nearby the more comfortable I felt. My destination happened to be a small hill on the outskirts of Ponyville. No one usually went there, so it was a great place to just relax and enjoy quiet. However, at this time of day, I was going there for another reason as well. It was a Thursday. And every Thursday after Pinkie's shift was over, I would head to this hill to play a game Rainbow Dash and I developed. Reaching the base of the hill, I looked up to see the cyan pegasus already setting our little game up. And so I quickly ran up the grassy hill, reaching the top in seconds, and sitting down at the highest point. And without a word said, our game began. Rainbow Dash would always have a bunch of clouds with her, and she would arrange them into shapes, which I had to try and guess what she had made out of them. She'd try her best to leave me clueless, and I'd try my best to figure it out every time. She was a competitive pony, and I was a quiet one. Who knew that we could possibly get along so well, just by finding an activity that fit into both of our interests? ____________________________________________________ "I WIN!" I quickly lowered my ears at the sudden assault of noise and glared up at the source, who gave me an apologetic look in response. Shaking my head, I smiled up at her and got up, turning around and heading down the hill. I couldn't blame her for being herself, I suppose. It was impressive she managed to hold herself back as much as she did in the first place. On the same note, I was still constantly surprised by Pinkie Pie's ability to stay silent if she needed to. When I was enjoying a quiet activity like that one, she somehow managed to stay silent. Which I had learned was all because she wanted me to smile! I trotted back into town with a content smile on my face. My situation in life was tough, but moments like these made it all bearable. 'Aww, you're welcome, 'Mena!" My smile twitched a bit but remained. I really didn't like that nickname she had started using for me. Sure, Pinkamena was a bit of a mouthful at times, but she was speaking in thoughts for crying out loud! 'Don't be that way, 'Mena! I only give nicknames to my cloooosest friends!' Me and her. Friends. My mind went back to what Twilight said earlier. If we were technically the same pony, how exactly could friendship apply? Even so, she got on my nerves so much and put so much pressure on life that I more considered her something to live with, not enjoy. 'C'mon, you don't really mean that!' 'Yes, I do.' She never listened to me when I was serious. I trotted at a decently fast pace as I entered the marketplace. I unfortunately needed to pass through the busiest part of town if I wanted to get to Fluttershy's cottage in the least amount of time, which i didn't like. Stares were glued to me very quickly. I leaned down low and let my magenta mane fall in my face to hide it. Any sort of comfort was good. I couldn't stand being the center of attention like this! I wasn't used to it, and it unnerved me. An irrational fear, I know, but in my entire life the only ponies I had ever communicated with up until recently was my family, and even then, we didn't talk much. I hadn't had any interactions or even movement for ten years, so needless to say I think I had a good excuse for feeling this way. Unfortunately the townsponies also had a good excuse for ogling me. I was an anomaly. They had all lived with Pinkie Pie for years, and suddenly here I was! How many other ponies had two personalities, both fully conscious as separate entities? Probably none. 'So I suppose there is one downside to having a straight mane....' A perfect visual aid to tell that it's me, the anomaly, the unnaturally existing pony. Too bad I had to come after. Pinkie and I were equally unnatural. I quickly tried to stay in the shadows, hiding behind my mane even though it didn't actually help. Stealth was near impossible with such a bright coloured coat. At least after a couple minutes I finally got through the busiest part of town, and immediately flat out sprinted for Fluttershy's cottage. She'd understand my plight. She always did. ____________________________________________________ I breathed a sigh of relief as the small cottage at the end of the winding dirt path came into view. It symbolized safety, happiness, and relaxation for me, all of which I gladly welcomed. And I was gladly welcomed by the shy yellow pegasus when I knocked on the door, being led inside to the green couch in her living room. I quickly took a seat and sighed, smiling. Comfort. I was in a familiar place, with a familiar pony, with quiet, and I wasn't crowded. Fluttershy came back into the room with a cup of tea for herself and sat down on a chair she had pulled up across from me. She knew at this point I wasn't a fan of the hot drink, so she just made some for herself. I got the feeling she, in a way, enjoyed spending time with me more than any of her other friends sometimes, just because I was quiet like her. Although now was a time where I needed to speak up. "What do I do, Fluttershy?" She looked at me inquisitively. "About what?" "About all the ponies staring at me! It freaks me out!" I said in an almost panicked voice. She suffered from the same anxieties, right? Maybe she knew something to help! "Ponies stare at you?" She asked, obviously wanting to know why they would do that. I sighed and looked down. "Because I'm not normal. I'm some strange...thing, to them! Like I'm a part of a shattered mind or something, and I'm just part of the weirdness that is Pinkie Pie!" Thinking about it, I suppose in a way that was true. Although, unbeknownst to anyone except Twilight, it applied to both me and Pinkie Pie. Did that mean I wasn't real? "Oh, Pinkamena, you're not a thing! You're a wonderful pony!" She smiled a heartwarming smile at me. "Maybe they just need time to get used to you?" I frowned at her. "Maybe. But what can I do until then? I don't like being the center of attention...I don't even like being near strangers or crowds in the first place!" It made me incredibly anxious. "Well, I've always been a bit afraid of that, too, so I know how you feel." 'A bit. Right.' I leaned back into the soft cushions and sighed heavily. "And what do you do about it?" She had experience with this. She probably knew something. Though looking at her, I could almost see the sweatdrop form. "Um, well...I usually just...hide..." I facehoofed. "I'm sorry..." She said sadly, the want to help me clearly evident. I sat back up. "Don't worry. You can't have all the answers for everything for me, after all." Things were quiet for a moment, until I finally decided to break the tension. "So, how have your animals been doing?" I shouldn't have asked that question. I ended up stuck in that house for hours.