//------------------------------// // Chapter II: Elementary, My Dear Hazel // Story: Junker's Travels // by JunkerRabbit //------------------------------// Chapter II Elementary, My Dear Hazel "This is stupid. I want to go home," Alder grumbled. He still didn't like his sister Hazel's plan, but had given up resistance. Hazel now lugged the limp, angry body of her older brother by his tail, dragging him across the filthy ground of the Royal Canterlot Gardens. "And do . . . hhhng . . . what?" Hazel retorted with a mocking tone between breaths, "Mope . . . around? Starve to . . . death? Let . . . that jerk command . . . you around like you're . . . his little . . . hhhng . . . slave? I think . . . NOT!" She stopped for a moment to catch her breath. With little to no food, she had no energy to carry her brother around like this. "Could you PLEASE move on your own? You're not making this any easier for either of us." Alder grumbled and got up. He still didn't think his sister was thinking things through. It wasn't just a gut feeling either. whenever Hazel had an idea she was really excited about, it went sour fast. There was that one time when she'd tried to sneak the book she was reading out of the library, only to almost get caught by one of the night guards. Then the was the time she'd tried to make a canal system stemming from one of the garden fountains, only to break the fountain and make the ground damp and unpleasant for a week. Alder sighed. Even if he were to go home now, he couldn't stop Hazel. "We're here," Hazel said aloud, still panting from having to carry alder. There atop a tall, golden poll about the size of a small tree, inside a golden cage atop the poll, was who they had come looking for. "WHO GOES THERE!?" Philomeena boomed upon seeing guests had arrived. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Philomeena the phoenix, royal pet of Princess Celestia, had been around for about 4,000 years or so. She couldn't remember anything more specific than that, and had stopped counting each year after she hit 500 years. She had seen many things over the years as she grew older alongside the princess. Philomeena and Celestia had recently become lonely, what with The Nightmare possessing Luna almost 1,000 years ago. To add to her depression, Philomeena was nearing the end of her life cycle, and was starting to lose her feathers. She was usually playful by nature, but with Luna gone and feathers coming out left and right, Philomeena hadn't exactly been neighborly to the other animals. She was cleaning herself when two little squirrels approached her cage. "WHO GOES THERE!?" She boomed at them, attempting to scare them away. It worked on the boy, but the girl didn't hesitate to step further forward. "WHAT MORTAL CREATURE DARES TO SHOW HERSELF IN MY PRESENCE!" Philomeena tried to scare the girl off once more. "My name is Hazel, and this," Hazel said, pointing her tail at her brother, who cowering behind a bush, "is my brother, Alder." Philomeena shifted a bit from annoyance. This brat wasn't going anywhere soon, might as well see what she wants. "And what business, Miss Hazel, do you have with the Royal Pet of Celestia?" She asked, showing off her glorious wingspan at "Royal Pet of Celestia". "We hail from the kingdom under the rule of Chantency's son," Hazel began. Philomeena groaned. She hated those little critters that invaded the garden so long ago and tried to act as though they were equals of the Canterlot ponies, establishing a monarchy and "declaring rule" over the garden. "This bunny, who goes by Junker is a tyrant of incredible feats and -" "Spare me the sob story," Philomeena spat, "What is it that you want from ME? What is so important that you came to the Royal Pet of Celestia?" "Well, I read a story about this monster called Discord and how Celestia used these thing called the Elements of Harmony to -" "WHAT!?" Philomeena shrieked. Hazel looked annoyed that she couldn't finish a single sentence without being interrupted by the phoenix. Philomeena, however, looked both nervous and enraged, scaring Alder back behind the bush the instant he had worked up the courage to face the fiery bird. Philomeena racked her mind, looking for an answer to the outstanding problem that had suddenly reared its ugly head. The Elements were one of the secrets of Equestria, known of by only a few, including Philomeena. When Celestia had entrusted her with the secret, she had warned her faithful pet not to tell anyone at all, no matter what. The Elements, as well as the magic behind Luna's corruption and descent into Nightmare Moon could easily scare ponies all over Equestria, or even worse, drive them to revive the black magic in a power-hungry attempt (the princess did NOT need a repeat of the events with Kuchen from 500 years back). "We were wondering if you know anything about the Elements of Harmony. We kind of need to . . . borrow them for a bit." Philomeena burst out of her cage, enveloping herself in a small fire. Embers fell of her in every direction, singeing the dirt ground. "NEVER," she thundered at the squirrels from above, "NEVER WILL YOU EVER GET SO CLOSE AS TO EVEN SEE THE ELEMENTS WITH YOUR GREEDY, FILTHY EYES. GO NOW, AND NEVER SPEAK, NAY, NEVER THINK OF THE ELEMENTS EVER AGAIN IF YOU CHERISH YOUR LIVES," Keeping the same fire, she swooped down the ground and looked Hazel dead in the eye. The embers Philomeena emitted fell on Hazel, burning through the squirrel's flesh with a scorching rage of uncanny pain. "Is that clear?" Philomeena hissed in Hazel's face, her breath smelling of fresh cinders. Hazel was struck with fear. "B-b-but we just -" "IS THAT CLEAR!?" Philomeena roared heatedly. "Yes!" Hazel squeaked as she bolted back in the direction she and Alder had come from. Alder had long since fled from the scene, back to the Discord statue. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Alder strolled down the wide dirt path in the garden that lead straight to Junker's throne, whistling a happy tune along the way. The earlier . . . situation . . . didn't worry him at all anymore. He had just participated in a successful heist and wanted to tell For once, things were going his way. As Alder reached Junker's throne, he realized that Junker wasn't there. "Hey, where'd Junker go?" He asked the guard. "His majesty is taking a walk with a subject. She had said there was a secret she wanted to tell him that would strengthen his rule and the kingdom for generations to come." Alder went pale. Could this be Hazel's doing? No, no, don't jump to conclusions. it could've been anyone, he thought, I talked to Hazel. She knows better now. Still . . . "Which way did they go?" Alder asked. The guard pointed vaguely in the direction of Philomeena's cage. Alder thanked him and quickly ran off, cursing the entire way. He had thought Hazel had learned her lesson! He had TRUSTED her! "GANG WAY!" Hazel shouted as she sped past Alder, who turned around confused. Then he heard a scream from behind him, turned, and saw Junker running as fast as he could, Philomeena on his tail. "FOOL! YOU HAVE DOOMED YOURSELF AND YOUR ENTIRE KINGDOM!" Philomeena boomed overhead, enveloped in a deep crimson flame. She roared once more, "HOW DARE YOU NOT ONLY SPEAK OF THE ELEMENTS, BUT INTENTIONALLY SPREAD WORD OF THEM! I WILL END YOU AND YOUR RABBIT FRIEND!" "WHAT IN THE NAME OF EQUESTRIA HAVE YOU DONE, HAZEL!?" Alder screamed between breaths as he caught up and attempted to stay with Hazel and Junker. "YOUR SISTER TOLD ME ABOUT THE ELEMENTS, SAID I COULD BECOME A MORE POWERFUL LEADER WITH THEM IF I DEMANDED THAT ROTTEN OLD PHOENIX GAVE THEM TO ME!" Junker yelled back. Hazel gave an "Oopsie Daisies" grin and the three ran further, towards the south exit of the garden. As they exited the garden, Philomeena followed them, her fire growing bigger, brighter, harsher and hotter. "YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE WRATH OF PHILOMEENA THE GREAT!" Philomeena screeched. Ponies of the city of Canterlot watched in awe, confusion and horror as two squirrels and a bunny ran from the furious grip of Celestia's phoenix's talons. "YOU HAVE COMMITTED A CRIME LIKE NO OTHER, AND YOU SHALL PAY FOR IT!" The four of them ran far outside the city's borders. Eventually, Philomeena halted, realizing the Princess would wonder where she went. "YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED IN CANTERLOT AGAIN. I WILL BE WAITING. I WILL BE READY." She yelled at the three breathless creatures running into the distance. Realization suddenly hit Junker: He may never get back home. Even if he were to find his way back, he was seen as a criminal, thanks to these two mutinous traitors. He was going to die in the wilderness. He was going to die alone.