//------------------------------// // Sighs of the Dreamy Kind // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash squatted on a cloud, lying chest-first against the vaporous fluff. Her nostrils flared and her ear-tips twitched in the moonlight. Down below, a sleepy sheen of moonlight glinted across row after row of apple orchards. In the center of the agricultural expanse, a single building loomed. From high above, Rainbow Dash could spot a single light on. Something moved past a window, then moved again. Shortly after, the light went out. Rainbow exhaled once more. Wrenching her eyes off Sweet Apple Acres, she turned around and stared up at the stars. Hugging herself, the mare remained that way, quiet, contemplative, and anything-but-sleepy. "It's... it's not that I'm sad, really." "Oh?" Epcot glanced down through the nebulous dreamscape. The chaperone flew across the surface of an upside down floating castle, patching together broken bits of scattered subconscious thought constructs. "Because everything you've described to me fits the perfect description of 'lethargic,' 'fatigued,' and 'depressed.'" "Mrmmfff..." Rainbow hovered lazily over a shimmering gold landscape. "All of which are foreign concepts to you, I bet." "Heeeheeeheee... I-I can't help it!" "Well, neither can I." Epcot slapped another broken wall in place, restoring the simulated architecture. "But... it's not sadness." "I feel too... too warm and toasty inside to call it sad," Rainbow Dash murmured. "And yet... there's nothing to boast about. Even if there's everything to boast about." She winced at her own words, then glanced over her shoulder. "Does that make any sense?" "None whatsoever." Epcot smiled her way while ripping a hole in dream-space. "Please, tell me more." "Like... years ago... heck... months ago I'd be bragging my head off about stuff." "What kind of stuff?" Epcot pulled out a blurred sphere of psionic energy, then fashioned it into a flag that she planted on the corner of the alicorn keep. "You mean saving-the-Cider-Princess stuff?" "Well... sure, I guess. I mean... she is alive and well now because of me. Well, because of Stu as well, I suppose." "Yes, but Stu didn't kiss her," Epcot said with a wink. "Heheheheh..." Rainbow Dash hugged herself. "Dang right he didn't." "So why aren't you boasting about it." "Meh. You know why." "Actually, Rainbow Dash, I don't." Epcot looked over. "I don't know a lot of things." Rainbow winced. "Sorry. I... I-I guess I sorta got you confused with Lancie for a second." "Should I pretend to understand what that means?" "I'd rather you pretend to understand what I'm about to tell you." Rainbow Dash coughed, twirled around, and faced the floating chaperone directly. "I'm happy that Applejack is safe. I feel proud to be the reason she's still alive and kicking. And yet... I-I kinda don't want her to know about it." "Even if she might express her gratitude in a fashion that would gratify your most ardent desires?" "I... didn't quite understand that last statement," Rainbow Dash said. "But if you're saying what I think you're saying, then I really doubt that would happen." Epcot shrugged. "There's only one way to find out." "But maybe I don't want to find out," Rainbow said. "Maybe I already know." "Oh?" "Maybe..." Rainbow Dash bit her lip. "...maybe I already know that things are as good as they're going to get. And... and that loving somepony... that cherishing her doesn't mean her loving you back. At least... not in the same way that you love her. I... uh..." Rainbow hugged herself. "I think it's always been this way. I've just been deluding myself all this time that there could be more to it. But why should there be more to it? Maybe nothing will ever compare to this..." Epcot looked at Rainbow sideways. Rainbow rolled her eyes. "I bet I know what you're thinking. 'Wow, that mortal can ramble on and on about the same thing,' huh?" "Actually, I was wondering something else." "Yeah?" Epcot nodded. "I think something happened to you back in Philanthropy that's the real reason for all of this introspection." Rainbow grimaced, avoiding Epcot's gaze. Nevertheless, Epcot floated closer, her purple eyes firm. "Or was it just a fluke that you, Rainbow Dash, a mortal unaccustomed to Cider Space, found the ability to mold the dream and defeat the Sons of Shindig single-hoofedly?" "... ... ..." Epcot smiled, waiting patiently. At last, Rainbow murmured, "I met my dad, Epcot." "Your father?" Rainbow sniffled, hugging herself. "Y-yeah." Her voice cracked, "At least... it felt like him. His voice. His warmth. The..." She squeaked, her eyes moistening. "...the unbelievable love that just came out of him like sunshine. It's... it's been so long since I felt something so... so awesome." She sniffled again, rubbing her muzzle dry. Epcot gazed at her curiously. "Only... I-I think I've been feeling it a little bit... a little teensy bit..." Rainbow gulped and looked at Epcot with a vulnerable expression. "Each and every day. Whenever... whenever I..." Epcot nodded. "Whenever you're around Applejack." Rainbow nodded back, her eyes glistening. Epcot twirled around the edge of the castle, setting the stones straight and smoothing the edges of the dreamscape. "I've not had the chance to meet mortals often. You, Stu, and the others were a wonderful blessing. Alicorns were always intriguing in their own right, of course, but mortals are simply poetic in their existence. There's something innately bitter sweet and cyclical about them. You're no exception." "You think?" "I know." Epcot glanced over with a smile. "From everything you say and breathe... it's evident that your father was a huge source of love in your life. When you were a foal, undoubtedly you basked in his adoration and selfless devotion." Rainbow could only hug herself, stifling the urge to whimper. "But now..." Epcot smiled. "The pendulum has swung. And it would seem that you want... you need to be the pony who loves." Rainbow Dash clenched her teeth, gazing out at the nebulous, rippling dreamscape. "That doesn't sound easy." "Doesn't it?" Epcot cocked her head to the side. "What exactly have you been doing all these months? Since before we even met?" Rainbow Dash was silent. "You are a beautiful pony, Rainbow Dash," Epcot said. "Boundless in her emotions, yet eloquent in how she decides to share them. Like a professional, you hold back so much. But just like the righteous alicorns of old, that can lead to a great deal of heart ache if you're not careful." "Then... then what should I do?" Rainbow Dash asked. "So I won't go off the deep end?" "I think you're finding that out for yourself as we speak," Epcot said. "Thus, the sudden and inexplicably mellow juncture in your existence." She winked. "You're learning just how you can love... and build a life around loving." Rainbow shuddered. "Even if that loving isn't what I'd always intended." "Indeed." Epcot nodded. "Although, perhaps it's for the better. It certainly can't be for the worse." Rainbow breathed more calmly, contemplating that. "There's something else on your mind, isn't there?" Epcot asked. Rainbow looked at her. "...was it really my dad that I met when Flim and Flam tossed me through their gate?" Epcot touched down on the lopsided castle's wall. She stared off for half-a-minute before eventually muttering: "I cannot pretend to know. As a construct, I am most familiar with the rules and fabric of the dreamverse. Even though fissures in the subconscious can hypothetically lead towards realms beyond, it's simply not within my ability to perceive souls in the next level." "Right." "I cannot pretend to say whether or not that was truly your father whom you communed with, Rainbow Dash." The mare hung her head. "R-right..." Epcot reached over and tilted the pegasus' head up. She smiled into those ruby eyes. "But I do know that something... or else the intense, amorous memory of something restored you... and gave you strength. And I do believe that can work in the real world as much as it can here." Rainbow blinked. "In... wh-what way?" Epcot stifled a giggle. "You've already shown you have the power to save the Cider Princess." She fluttered her eyelashes playfully before kicking off towards another pocket of the dreamscape. "Perhaps, then, it is not too late to save yourself." She glanced back, purple eyes shimmering. "Would your real father desire any less...?"