//------------------------------// // ACT 1 HULK PART 1 // Story: The Great Fandom Man! // by Jake Witt //------------------------------// "Dude, I went pure green Hulk and I never fell to dubstep," I said as Brute Banner led us through some air vents. "Are you sure you're not a little angry?" "I'm angry, but they put a drug in me..." He started to nod off before I snapped my fingers. "Look, guy, I'm tired... I haven't slept in a few days..." "OK. We'll look for a safe spot for you to nap, geez..." He snapped back, "Why don't you bust us out, if you're so great." My white hoof met my face as I groaned, "Apparently, my voice commands cant be heard through titanium pants." "He's dead! No! He cant be dead! What will I do? What will happen to me? What will become of me?!" Cortana continued her muffled rambling, warming my butt. "I hope I sweat this off. I mean come on!" I was stopped by a hand on my mouth as pony Stormtroopers passed underneath. I rolled my eyes as I fell backwards through a vent opening. "What're you doing?!" Brute cried out. The leader of the Stormtroopers commanded, "Its the pony, fire!" Brute covered his eyes as flashes of red were seen. He opened his eyes to see the ground and wall around was black, but not a hair on his companion was hit, except for a part of his armored pants. "What just happened?!" "Cortana, integrate the titanium into repair material!" I commanded, turning back to the white armored space clones in front of me. "Ultimate Canonbolt!" The titanium glowed and suddenly the blue hexagons that covered part of me covered it as I shifted into a big blue creature that could roll up in a ball. I smirked as I rolled up, my spikes evident on my form as I began to rev myself like a spin dash. "Fire your gun! Fire your guns!" The commander shouted with a pointed hoof. "But commander, sir, we're trainees! You were supposed to give our first lesson!" "Commander?! I'm just going out for lunch!" I rolled into the group as the higher ranked guy grabbed two guns off the ground, "Lunch safety my flank!" He began firing at me, actually hitting my shell. I rolled towards him, "Ultimate Level One! Saiyan! Power!" I transformed into my super saiyan two form with my white-green power armor as I tumbled over to him, kicking his helmet off as I got near. "You have got to be kidding me!" Her face was grey and her eyes and mane were a brilliant gold color. I was fighting an earth pony Derpy clone trooper. She retained her male voice as she shot my face, the laser bouncing off, with a battle cry. Her head tilted, "What the tartarus?" She walked up cautiously, waving her gun at my expressionless face. "Your first training lesson, carry him to a cell." The stormtroopers walked up, trying to lift me up. All they did was tip me over and trap a unicorn trooper, who tried to pick me up in her magic. I suddenly snapped out of my trance, instantly appearing behind the higher rank with her helmet back on. "Eh, what's up Doc? Ya like muffins?" The trainees suddenly piped up, looking for muffins. "What's with every new clone having a friggin' muffin... addiction..." We walked through the halls as I constantly poked the chill scientist, trying to release his inner demon. "... so that's when I woke up. Crazy dream all the way! Ya know? Any way, if those three punishments could happen in real life which would be worse?" "I sort of forgot... or never cared at all." "OK, well, the bullies could flag pole wedgie me or toss me in Fish Joe's shack or give me the mysterious Nikki Minaj torture. Which is worse? On second thought, I don't want to think about the last one..." "Thank Celest-" "I don't want to be near any anaconda! That song might not be about snakes!" "shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup..." Listening to his reaction, I thought he would turn green. Nope. Not even a patch or a spasm. "Oscar, I don't think its just drugs in his system." "What was that Cortana? Probably didn't matter. Girls, only around to be tools!" I would've protested until I saw Dr. Banner quicken his pace. "If they die, there's another one around." From the scouter, I saw a guilty look in Oscar's eye and noticed that their pace quickened to a run. "I mean, sure we must have mutual respect. If I killed my girl friend, I wouldn't live with myself!" Brute kept running as we caught up. "Who are you running from brilliant Dr. Banner? Where are you going? Why are you running?" We suddenly stopped as an olive green fist met Oscar's face, making blood trickle from his nose. "THE WORLD! I've been running from the world, to make sure I don't hurt my friends!" He shrunk back slightly, turning back into a pure peach color as he took steady breaths. "I don't control the monster, he controls me! All of my coworkers died because of my mistake! I decided to man up and ask for he name, but my gama bomb was my waifu stealer." His glare stayed on me, "I'm aware your trying to make me angry with the singing, poking, explaining dreams, and whatever this sick idea was... *sigh* He is far too dangerous to let out." I crossed my arms as my armored healed my face, "You need practice to discipline your power! Don't you think the Hulk is misunderstood?" "HA! I think he's understood enough! Nopony likes me when I'm angry. Simple as that." He turned and started walking towards our idea of an exit. Coffee soaked the monitor as Blu Pony Scout watched the fight between a bipedal creature with a tail with some sort of magic and their Stormtroopers. Another Blu Scout called their boss, "Sniper? Is boss there? ... No? ... The Fandom Man got out and he's- ... Understood, man." "Dude, what did he say?" "Exactly, 'Grab some popcorn, ya wankers.'" "No seriously, what did he say?"