Karen trotted along the side of the stores, glass windows with products splattered behind them like jam jars, each face she past gave her a friendly smile or greeting, the typical politeness found in a place like Ponyville.
She had decided to go for a walk in town, the house feeling too big and empty to mope around in considering a bottle of vodka not a viable option at 2 pm. At her side was her saddlebag and inside that a small cache of gold Bits, she had a destination to reach, an old but important destination.
Up ahead she could see more happy faces with bright glittery eyes and cherub smiles as they moved in a collective rhythm of stop and go, approaching from ahead through the small groups passing was a familiar looking mare with sugary lollies on her flank.
“Hello Karen” Politely spoke BonBon, passing by with a large brown bag of groceries. Her mane wrapped in a ponytail.
“Good evening Bonny” replied Ms Mash, giving a semi genuine smile to the mare who sat at around her age.
“Great party last week, I really enjoyed it. Oh, sorry for uh….me and Lyra in Buttons room, I didn’t know it was his room, we just needed a bit of privacy” the cream mare retorted in a soft footed apology.
“It’s ok BonBon, you two were not the first to use Button’s closet as a private room, but next time make sure to use the spare bedroom instead, bed sheets are a lot easier to wash than clothes and coats” Karen replied to her drinking friend, the smell of chocolate and red-wine swimming around BonBon’s mouth like a sweets isle, perking Karen Mash’s nose in delight.
“Well I’ll see you next time K, I’ve got to dinner made for Lyra before she comes home from work in an hour, you know how it is” the creamy mare finished begin to trek back onto her original course.
“Hey Bonny, uh, who know who I haven’t heard from in a while, Berry Punch, she lives by close to your cottage right, how is she?” Karen asked hesitantly, trying not to force the question.
“Last time I spoke to her she was said something about visiting Whinny Beach up north or down south, I’m not sure, mentioned meeting a good friend, that was all I got though”.
“Hmm…thank you Bonny, I’ll see you later” finshed Karen, saying goodbye and hoping back on her course, her destination still ahead of her by three stores.
Standing beside a knitting store and a bargain shop stood an old placid Record store, lazily hiding inside an old white building with a sign reading ‘Earworm music’. A few faces could be seen through the thick glass windows, no one considered youthful, the typical age inside seemed to be 35.
The door opened wide and a familiar little ting came from a brass bell at the top of the entrance, announcing her presence to the whole store. To her left was a cashier’s bench with a unicorn cashier, her blue mane tied back in pony tail, grey coat blending with her black ‘AC/DC’ shirt, her right breast covered in multiple badges, babbles and buttons.
“Karry, is that you” the unicorn mare asked, her eyes widening as she seemed to know Button’s mother well.
“It’s been a while hasn’t it TJ” Karen replied, walking over to the cashier, both their faces in a smile, spreading her arms out TJ hugged Button’s mom from over the counter.
“so what are you doing here, I didn’t think anyone still bought music anymore” the mare joked, piercings, studs and rings dangling from her ears .
“I guess Im getting old then” Karen replied casually.
“Bullshit, you haven’t aged a day, hey how’s Pitt, I haven’t seen him since he was twelve”.
“oh Pitt, well he’s got his own little band now, PoisonJoke I think, by what he says there somewhat big time now”.
“are you kidding me Karen, we sell at least six of their CD’s a day”, TJ pointed up to a row of posters on the wall up above, one of them with a group of five ponies, at the front Was Pitt Mash, a guitar shaped like an axe slung on his shoulder.
“yeah but…his music is…kinda..pussy rock” the old mare chuckled, turning around back to TJ, slumping her arms on the counter and making a plead gesture. “Please tell me you still sell records?”.
The cashier lady ushered her over to the far right, a dusty shelf running along the wall was filled with large square slips, faded band names on each one.
“You still into hark rock Karry?” asked TJ, pointing her arm at the collection of times long past.
The mare nodded, slowly running her hoof along the sides of the old paper-back crests, her smile cutting wider as she caressed the plastic discs.
“It’s been years since I bought a new record” Karen cooed, speaking equally to herself as she was too her friend.
The unicorn gave a warm node in reply then politely walked away, leaving the mare with her privacy.
One by one went the records, names and nostalgia stacked neatly together. The Rolling Stones, Guns And Roses, Iron Maiden, AC/DC. Each name and title filled Button’s mother with a bright memory, sending her head back to the younger days.
In her mind played the sweet tunes of youth, songs of her childhood, of her pains, of her pleasures. Good times and the bad, it all hit her with a golden wave of memory and melancholy. Her thoughts disappeared into the sounds of strumming guitars and thumping drums. A ballad of blue behind her entranced eyes and soft amber face.
Karen hummed Genesis lyrics to herself softly.
“I remember long ago, when the sun was shining, and the stars were bright all through the night…and the sound of your laughter as I held you tight”.
She faded from the reality, into her mind.
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“GOAL!” Shouted Kickin, jumping up from his car-seat and hitting his head against the roof of the coach, sending him crashing back down into the foamy wool.
The radio went ablaze with the sound of a roaring crowd, fans screaming out in applause as the Football game exploded in a flurry of noise.
Karen was in the seat next to him, both her legs slung on the dashboard, her face in a casual smile as she slowly enjoyed her cup of vanilla ice-cream.
Both the two where alone on a dirt hill overlooking the bright amber lights of FIllydephia, the night a black plane with dotted diamond stars, the moon lazily appearing behind the shroud of ghostly clouds. The coach they were sitting was Kickin Mash’s vintage black cruiser, dents in the back and an exposed engine at the front. The interior was a wood panelling dashboard with brown wool-woven seat covers.
“You really know how to please a girl Kick” she playfully announced, smacking her lips on the plastic spoon.
“Sorry hun, I just want to catch the last ten minutes you know…plus its Manchester so…yeah, I’m sorry babe” he conceded, rubbing his head, holding an ‘ouch’ under his breathe.
“You know when I knock off from the hospital and my Hubby picks me up and tells me where going to the point I expect something a little more passionate than Soccer matches.
The Colt chuckled, flicking the radio and turning off the coach, the hum of the ignition flicking off and turning the car silent in the midnight moonlight.
“Karry, Do you remember when we came here back in highschool ” Kickin asked, running his hooves along the rubber steering wheel.
“Of course I do, it was the first time we made love” The mare replied, ruffling her black leather jacket into the seat.
“I remember we came here after the prom, gods I was so stupid back then, remember I wore my pink tuxedo with the blue bowtie, I looked
like such a damn Bell-end” The colt stuttered, tapping his legs on the floorboards of the vehicle, Karen somewhat confused by his fidgetiness.
“I wore the red dress that Mom and Dad bought me, you ended up spilling strawberry punch on the back of it when you got me a drink”.
Giggled the cream coated mare, her nurse uniform still under her leather jacket.
They both started to reminisce.
“Well what I’m saying is that after the prom, I thought I was dead in the water that night, when I stopped this coach in front of your place I knew without a shadow of a doubt that you would hop out and never speak to me again…but”, Kickin took a cassette out of from the side and put it in the radio, fast-forwarding it then sliding back in his seat as it played.
‘Some people call me the space cowboy, yeeeeah’ the disembodied voice begun, a thumpy bass filling up the coach, ‘Some call me the gangster of love’.
“Some people call me Morris” Karen started to mouth out along with the music, putting the cup of ice-cream in her lap as she nodded her head to the tune.
Kickin began to nod as well, “Well I remember you were just about to leave with that disappointed look on your face when that song came on, you stopped and started to mumble…then sing, I was so scared you were going to hate me even more if I joined in so I didn’t make a peep, but” he choked up slightly, “You closed your eyes and kept singing, I started to join in then we became two stupid kids singing badly out the front of your parents’ house. I felt so happy singing with you, when the music ended I felt my heart sink like an anchor because I didn’t want you to leave”
“But then I asked if you wanted to go get something to eat” Karen replied, helping him out with a loving grin.
“Aye, we got Burgers…at the take-away past the highway… then when we were done talking I asked you…” this time he couldn’t even finish his sentence without letting out a giggly sigh of embarrassment.
“You Asked me I’f I wanted to see the most beautiful thing in the world” Karen again replied, giving a smile herself, she looked around the dirt parking area they were on, tall pine trees and a sheer drop a few metres ahead, block by the wooden guards.
Karen retold the story, “We came here and stared out at Filly, the radio playing the greats as we talked. Eventually I got tired and you asked if you wanted to drive me back home”.
“You said no” Kickin added.
“You asked if it was Ok if you kissed me on the lips” the vanilla mare said with a smile.
“You said yes”.
“Then we both made love that night, in back of this coach” Karen finished, putting her hoof over Kickin’s leg, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
The colt still didn’t seem to be finished speaking; He cleared his throat and turned to her, his orange eyes wide and doughy.
“Karen, After that night I had never loved someone so much in my life, I was so sad when school finished and we left each other, but…But after a soccer match years later… and a broken knee cap…I found you again, I found the only mare I could ever be with, I will love you for the rest of my life…your my angel.
The Mare was in tears, wiping her eyes with her arm, a reddened smile on her face.
“I thought it was fitting to come back here so I could tell you…” he reached behind the seat and grabbed a blue velvet box.
“Oh Goddess…Kickin….is this really happening” she said in sobs, her blue eyes crying floods of joyful tears.
“Karin Rosemary Nurture…Will you marry me” Kickin Mash asked her, a large golden ring exposed in the box, looped through the band a wax-coated blue carnation from years passed.
The mare looked at the ring and her eyes became doused in the most joyful tears she ever had.
“What do you think” she replied in a playful whelp, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his mane, tears streaming down her face.
Kickin cradled her in his arms, gently rocking side to side, humming softly.
He with his free hoof turned back on the coach and flicked the heater on.
“I love you Kickin Allister Mash” she said, slowly falling asleep in his embrace.
“I love you Karen Rosemary Mash” he replied, kissing her forehead.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Just where our lives are going too….” Finished Karen, snapping out of her trance, Genesis on her lips.
She blink her eyes and looked around, she found herself clutching a record, a blue bounded slip with a red outline of a horse on the front, the title read ‘Stevie miller band: Greatest hits’. She turned it round and read the top song, The Joker.
She gave a little smile to herself as her eyes began to water slightly.
“You Ok Karry, you’ve been staring at that album forever now?” TJ asked her, bending over the glass counter.
“I’m fine just…humming to myself” The vanilla mare replied, wiping her eyes and walking to TJ. Karen stopped then turned back around, she stopped back where she started and hesitantly looked at the record.
She put it back and grabbed a REM album instead, leaving her memories, joy and sadness in-between Simple Minds and Santana.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Button and 8Bit where totting back from the cafeteria ,their two chocolate milk bottles now chucked in a thick green hedge bush, its insides bursting with rubbish and refuse like an engorged cube.
The two friends where chatting as they walk on back to the library, the sun lazily dragging itself crawling down the afternoon sky, dimly illuminating the grey concrete buildings and few grassed areas.
“So I’ve been talking to this….girl right and where really close” 8Bit asked skittishly, trying to seek a bit of advice from his now emotionally-committed buddy.
“But we can’t exactly…let people know where…close”.
“Why’s that” Button replied curiously, somewhat unbelieving of his shy friend love-life.
“well, she’s uh, she’s not the prettiest, she looks almost…like a colt” 8Bit shotily retorted, trying not to drop any major hints to Button.
“Hmm, well…I would uh” Button tried to speak, unknowing of how to answer the question.
“If your afraid of people then…you..uh” he juttered his words, finally he decided to answer a question more for him than 8Bit.
so you’re not allowed to see her because of what other people will think…well you should…eh…I, I can’t honestly tell you Bitty” the brown colt confessed, dealing with the same issue himself.
“Oh ok…..well, I guess I’ll just ask him…’HER’, I’ll just ask her about it later I guess” 8Bit said disheartened, gaining nothing really from Button’s reply
“I wish I could’ve helped you more but I don’t know the answer to that question….I really do wish I did though” Button Mash confided, rubbing his arms in instinct.
“Button, have you ever felt like you desperately want to tell people something and hope everything will be OK in the end…kinda just wish everything would go fine and no one would be hurt by it”
The brown colt turned to the smaller orange one and put his arm on his shoulder.
“you have no Idea”.
8Bit gave a small smirk, his messy blue mane just covering his right eye.
They’re came a silence.
“Button, I need to ask you something” the shy orange pony asked, his face turning serious.
“Shoot” Button replied.
“You know how I live across from the Crimson Hearts Club, well a few nights ago I saw-“ 8Bit was cut off by a ‘Hello’ from behind them.
Approaching at a brisk pace was Sweetie belle, trying to act casual but softly panting as it was clear she hurried towards them.
“Hey Sweetie” replied 8Bit, feeling somewhat downtrodden that he was once again cut off, though to him that was the norm.
“H-hi Sweetie” Button mash also replied, somewhat confused by the swift greeting .Feeling somewhat awkward, he looked at his hooves, they still had bits of wood chips indented in them along with bloody cracks that stung when he walked.
“Uh 8Bit, can I speak to Button alone for a sec, I really need to talk to him about something” Sweetie asked, her green emerald eyes persuading the young colt to walk off back to the library, leaving Button alone with her.
She turned to Button.
“So..hey” The brown colt said.
“Hey” Sweetie replied, a disembodied wall between them.
“So you wanted to speak to me”, “I do” they horribly chatted, Button feeling like they were back to awkward banter.
Nothing felt like it changed.
Sweetie tried to speak but kept looking at her hooves, unable to keep an eye to eye conversation with Button.
“About last night” the pearl white mare began, quickly getting stopped by the mocha brown colt.
“Sweetie please” Button pleaded, trying to walk away but getting stopped by a gentle hoof on the shoulder, seniding a warm tingle up his back.
“About last night” she continued, “ I feel like I need to get this off my chest, I know you want to blame last night on drinks and say we were both drunk when we did what we did but truth is” Sweetie belle’s eyes again darted away from him, like two magnets shooting away from each other, “I needed to get something out of my system, and I thought seeing as we had…done it before, you would be what I needed to… to get it out of my system, but it feels like all its done has opened up a new set of problems rather than satisfy the old ones”. Button’s face was in a stupor at what Sweetie was saying, feeling betrayed somehow.
the colt went rigid, his ears burning hot.
“You mean you were already planning to sleep with me?” Button asked, trying to figure out what she was saying, “But…Sweetie you knew I was already going out with Scarlet, wha—why, sweetie how could you do that!?”.
“Button I swear I never planned it, It’s just that, when we were talking about when we were kids, and when I began to fall asleep on your shoulder it, it reminded me of when we used to do all that stuff, it made me feel…loved” Sweetie belle explain, her Emerald gaze finally meeting Button’s on the last word, his heart pumping blood like a fire-hose.
Button stuttered as he tried to reply, caught in the grips of anger, confusion and love.
“Sweetie you knew I was with Scarlet…you knew” The colt was speaking less in a demanding tone and more a pleading one. “How could you do that to me, put me in that situation”.
“I know I know Button, I am so sorry but, I wanted to feel that feeling again, like what we used to feel for each-other, at the party I just sort of, forgot about everything”. Sweetie belle looked as if she was going to cry. “When we were laughing and reminiscing it made…it ma-, it made me love you again.
Button stumbled back as if he had been hit by a bus, his breathing in a shallow flutter, heart thumping in his chest.
He went silent, gawking with eyes as wide as planets, confusion blistering in his pupils.
“Sweetie….I….I” he began to slowly back away, something deep within his subconscious causing him to get as far away from the situation as possible.
Sweetie tried to reach out and grab him again but could barely get a hoof on before it fell to her waist-side, unable to link with him.
“Button, please, please don’t hide away….not this time, I really need you to be here right now” she asked of him, her tone sad but low pitched as if she expected him to faultier, his copping method driving him away from her.
Button still slowly backed away, mumbling ‘I’ to himself as if in a trance.
‘Give up, you can’t fight nature boy’ Came a gruff foreign voice from inside the colts head, as if some stranger was speaking inside his mind. ‘Go on walk away from your problems, its easy, go and forget it all’ The voice finished, ending in a cruel chuckle that made button stop in his tracks.
…
*thump*
..
*thump*
.
‘No’ Button thought to himself, ‘No more hiding!’.
His head feeling as if it was being hit on every angle by iron sledge-hammers.
Button stopped walking away, he opened his eyes, and he opened his ears, his matter pulling at his bones, trying to force him to keep walking.
It gave Button a burning sensation.
“Sweetie Belle….I…I…I need to tell you something, I need you to please understand” Button stuttered, every fibre of his body pushing away from him, only keeping still by sheer will power.
The white mare bit her bottom lip, preparing herself for what Button might say, her shimmering green eyes wet with anticipation and hesitation.
“Sweetie…I…. I love you, I love you though I really wish I didn’t, Every time I think about you it feels like someone is jamming a knife in my side, it’s a horrible feeling to have for someone, to have feelings bottled deep away like a tumour, not being able to get rid of them no matter how hard you try or how long you wait” Button forced himself to speak from his heart, every word stinging like poison as he constructed them but relieving him as they left his mouth, sweetie was attentive and didn’t look away as Button expected her too, she seemed to be understanding what he was saying or gods forbid; feel the same way.
Button continued, taking a large breathe as what he was saying seemed to knock the energy from him.
“For last night, don’t be sorry…please don’t be, it wasn’t your fault so don’t blame yourself, I wanted to do it just as much as you did, and I as much as I want too say otherwise..I-I don’t regret what we did or the time we spent together, you’re a good friend, you put up with my crap more than anyone I know … even when I’m a foul tempered little shit, I thank you….”, Button’s lead weight turned to granite as what he was about to say hit him harder than he ever thought, causing him to choke up horribly.
“I want to Love you so much, to have you and hold you through the night but…I can’t, we’ve been down this road, we know where it leads” , Buttons glassy eyes dulled like sad fireballs, his throat feeling as if a sword had been driven through his neck, a nasty twisting feeling in his gut.
He looked her in the eyes as he spoke his last words; he owed her that more than anything, standing towards her as an equal.
“it’ll just end the way it always had, at least with Scarlet I don’t know what the end result will be, I think I love her and I hope she loves me too, I can’t give up what I’ve got because ….because of you, Sweetie belle, I love you so deeply it fucking kills me, but I can’t, because if I do it’ll just end in heart-ache, like before…It always fucking does” Ended Button, almost clasping onto the ground, his heart felt heavy and his tongue tasted dry.
Sweetie’s eyes fell like dying doves at Button’s conclusion, her pupils scampering on her hooves and the colt in front of her, her lips trying to twist out words but barely able to form a syllable. Sweetie soon became silent, her body a statue with her spirit hidden inward, it reminded button of how she looked when they woke up together, sadness, he finally understood what she was saying then that morning.
Button couldn’t fight it; he moved forward and wrapped his arms around her, cushioning her head in his shoulder. She quickly gripped onto him, as if she was about to fall, Button felt her wet tears on his fur, she drove her hooves into his back as she held on as tight as she could.
“---Button how do I make it stop… the hurting, how do I get rid of it” she asked, her voice at an almost silent whimper.
“you don’t” he answered truthfully “ you just have to hid it and hope to forget it in time, the hurting doesn’t stop it just slowly dulls away like an old memory”.
The colt began to rock side to side, humming a comforting familiar tune to her.
“I’m so sorry” Sweetie belle said to him, her face still buried in his mocha coat.
“For what?”.
“I left you when you needed someone the most, when your brother left…I’m so sorry Button, I wish I could ha-“ Sweetie belle was cut off as the Colt put his hoof carefully onto the back of her mane, pushing her deeper into his warm fur, a warm ‘Shhhh’ coming from him, a strange almost alien comfort never seen from Button.
They both stood there hugging, gently rocking back and forth as the white mare cried silently in the colts embrace, feeling no rush or hint to stop. Button felt different, he had never acted like this before, it made him feel warm inside, like the zap-apple but…different.
“Thank you” Sweetie whispered to him, lifting her head up and wiping her eyes and nose.
“For what” Button repeated.
“For not hiding, I know how awful it is facing stuff like this, I’ll remember what you’ve done for me, I promise I will Button”
Button kissed her on the forehead and cupped his hoof on her reddened cheek, her complexion a cherry red in a sea of white.
“I do love you Sweetie belle, I always will…I just need…to see where my roads take me” Button Mash told her, feeling her soft face nuzzle against his arm.
“I…I love you too Button, I think I understand what you mean” Sweetie replied, emerald eyes glimmering in the evening sun, her heart hurting as she tried not to show it, Button’s heart feeling the same.
*BRINGGGGGGG!!!!!!* went the lunch bell, telling the two they needed to go back to life, to class, to their own little castles. As they parted if felt to them as if they were ripping of their arms.
One to the computer lab one to the music room, they left other with longing in their hearts.
“You Bitch!” angrily whispered Backslash, watching them leave from behind a brick wall, his face twisted with spite and scorn as he saw the two leave, his blood burning red as his slick brown mane began parting in the middle of his forehead.
“Button you little rat….trying to take ‘My’ mare…you think your soooo great don’t you making Sweetie hate me, this is all your fault Mr big-shot, I’ll make you pay…I give my word you will fucking pay for this Mash!”.