It was just another typically dull Scottish day, with howling winds causing the house to creak down to its very foundations and raindrops sliding endlessly down the windows.
I was sitting in my bedroom with the Skyrim soundtrack being blasted deep into my skull, while taking the time to peruse the newest chapters to grace some of my favourite works of pony fanfiction. I tried to lip-synch, conveniently forgetting that I am not exactly fluent in the tongue of the Dovah.
All in all, I was enjoying myself. As I read old favourites and discovered new ones, I found myself reflecting on my time as a proud member of the MLP fandom. I had made lots of friends, and I had also found fame – if I could even call it that – as a successful fanfiction author myself. The mere fact that so many people appreciate what I do makes me swell with happiness.
I finished reading one story and began reading another, as one track ended and another began. But then, a brilliant flash of light suddenly tore through my room and knocked out the power — but it had not come from the storm outside. After jumping out of my skin, I tore my earphones out and threw them on my desk.
"What in the hell was that?" I asked out loud.
"That's funny," a masculine voice said from behind me. "I was literally just about to ask that same question."
"No way!" a feminine voice added. "So was I!"
I swallowed nervously, turning around slowly in my swivel chair while looking around for something to defend myself with. And that's when I saw them — two ponies, just like from the show!
One of them was a stallion and the other was a mare, but both of them were looking at me oddly, probably while wondering three things: firstly, who and what I was. Secondly, why I had such a gormless look plastered all over my dumb face. And, finally, why they both looked so much like each other.
I took in every inch of my unexpected guests: their brown coats, their black manes and tails, their blue eyes and their cutie marks depicting a needle against a red cross — then put a hand over my mouth to stifle the shocked gasp that threatened to escape me.
For it was at this moment that I realised the ponies in front of me were none other than Doctor and Nurse Haywick.
My OC, and his Rule Sixty-Three counterpart.
"Are you all right?" they asked in unison. "You look a bit flustered."
They both looked at each other while I quickly composed myself, nodding a few times, and said the first thing that popped to mind.
"Doctor and Nurse Haywick, I presume?"
Doctor Haywick chuckled. "Of course it's me, Geo, who else would it be?" He looked around my room. "Now, where on Equestria do you think we are, and how do we get back? Twilight and Fluttershy will no doubt get worried if we're away for too long."
Nurse Haywick shook her head. "That's not Geo," she said. "Geo is a woman." She looked at me. "Now could you please tell me how to get back? Butterscotch will get worried if I'm not home soon."
"My name isn't 'Geo,'" I replied. "That's the shortened version of an alias that I use online. My real name is Chris, and I am totally confused right now." I looked them in the eyes. "Neither of you should be here right now — and this is not Equestria."
"My apologies, Chris," Doctor Haywick said. "It's just that you look like someone I— wait, whatever do you mean when you say that 'this is not Equestria?'"
"What he said," Nurse Haywick added.
"Exactly that." I continued looking at them. "You're on Earth, and you shouldn't be here because... you're not even real." I sighed and pointed at Doctor Haywick. "You're an original character I created when I started writing stories related to My Little Pony." I pointed at Nurse Haywick. "And you are basically his female counterpart."
"'Original Character?' 'My Little Pony?'" Doctor Haywick laughed merrily. "You're not making any sense, my friend." He glanced at Nurse Haywick. "Although it does explain why this mare has the same cutie mark as I do." They looked each other up and down, and grinned. "So this is what I'd look like if I had been born a filly?"
"And I as a colt?" Nurse Haywick seemed pleased. There was a pause before they both spoke in unison again.
"Nice."
I glared at them for a moment. "Can we change the subject back to the one at hand, please?" I turned around and grabbed an item off one of the shelves next to my desk. I held it tightly and shoved it in Doctor Haywick's face. "Look at this," I demanded. "And tell me, does it remind you of anypony you know?"
He looked at the item blankly. "That's... that's Twilight Sparkle," he said. "How, and why, do you have a Twilight Sparkle doll?"
"That doll looks a little bit like a female version of Geo's husband, Dusk Shine." Nurse Haywick paused for a moment. "Or, should I say, Prince Dusk Shine."
"First of all, it's not a 'doll,' it's a plushie." I rolled my eyes. "And secondly, I have this because it is merchandise. The world you have come to know as your home, Haywicks, is not real — in fact, everypony you know is a character in a God damn cartoon!" I put the plushie on my desk and continued, gesticulating wildly. "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, or MLP:FiM for short, is a cartoon about Twilight Sparkle and her friends; Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie... and Fluttershy, whom you happen to be dating."
Both pony's eyes widened in shock, but they didn't reply.
"The show is primarily aimed at young girls but, thanks to the power of the Internet, has gained an adult fanbase as well. These adult fans, like me, refer to themselves as 'bronies,' although some of the women prefer the term 'pegasister.'"
"I got into the show after a couple of my friends told me to watch it, and I quickly became a part of the brony fandom," I continued. "It wasn't long before I realised that Twilight Sparkle was my favourite character, and so I decided to write a story in which I met her and we fell in love. This kind of story is called a 'self-insert.'" I paused, noticing the shock still on their faces. "Now, this is where it gets interesting. You told me that I reminded you of 'someone' you know — not 'somepony,' 'someone.' You also called me 'Geo' when we met, and you didn't seem at all phased by the fact that I wasn't a pony like you."
"I think I know where you are heading with this." Doctor Haywick's tone was mournful. "But, please, continue."
"The reason you called me 'Geo' is because I am Geo — the real Geo. The Geo you know is the character I created as part of the story. I happen to know that Geo is married to Twilight, they have two foals – Azure Hopes and Evening Whisper – and that they are a Prince and a Princess. There are also two other humans living in Ponyville — John Adams, who is married to a pregnant Applejack and Ace Sorou, who is married to Pinkie Pie. The two of them have a daughter called Chocolate. Put simply, my dear Doctor and Nurse, I am responsible for creating both of you." I pointed at the doctor. "As you know, Geo was injured when he first arrived in Equestria. I needed a character to be his caretaker, but I didn't want to use Doctor Stable, Nurse Redheart or Nurse Tenderheart. I also knew that I wanted to create an Original Character so, after looking at a map to get your name, you were created." I pointed at the nurse. "You, on the other hand, were created as a result of Internet Rule Sixty-Three: 'for any given male character, there is a female version of that character,' and vice versa for female characters."
"By Celestia..." Doctor Haywick trailed off for a moment, but quickly composed himself. "It can't be."
"I refuse to accept this as fact," Nurse Haywick spat.
"Well, I'm afraid it is," I replied curtly. "If you want further proof that you are my creation, then ask me something that only you would know. Something that you've never shared with anypony."
"What will that prove?" the doctor narrowed his eyes at me.
"I created you both, so that means I also created your secrets," I replied. "So go ahead, ponies, ask me to divulge one."
The doctor nodded. "Very well," he said. "A lot of ponies know that I was bullied in school, but I never told them who by." He pointed a forehoof at me. "If you truly are my 'creator,' then you will—"
"Silver Stomp," I interrupted. "He was a grey pegasus stallion with a blonde mane and tail. He showed a talent for singing – his cutie mark being a microphone next to a record – and he managed to turn his hobby into a career after he left school. He used to beat the utter crap out of you every chance he got." I took a breath. "You soon met again in Ponyville. He had been performing there when he was stabbed by a drunken fan, and it fell to you to treat his wound. When he came to, he recognised your voice and apologised for the way he treated you. The two of you parted ways on good terms, and you've managed to put the past behind you."
"By Discord's goatee..." the doctor sat down, defeated. "I've never shared any of that with anypony, not even Fluttershy." He sighed. "I guess it must be true, then — you are indeed my creator."
I sighed. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to drop all of this on you. It's just... I wasn't expecting something – somepony – whom I created to turn out to be real." I let out a small laugh. "It's either that, or I was electrocuted when the power went out and am now suffering from the mother of all hallucinations."
"My turn." the nurse raised a hoof. "If you really did 'create' me, then you'll know where Butterscotch and I first met."
"It was your first day in Ponyville," I replied. "He was with Bubble Berry when he jumped you in the street and invited you to the 'Welcome to Ponyville' party he had planned for you." I grinned smugly. "You were probably expecting me to answer by saying you first met him when you treated him for a broken wing."
Nurse Haywick's stern demeanour had vanished entirely. "Damn," she whispered. "I guess you did create me as well."
Doctor Haywick chuckled weakly. "Well, you certainly showed us," he said. "But are you really referring to our company as something you must 'suffer' through?"
I shook my head. "No, not at all," I replied. "In fact, part of me has always wondered what would happen if I met you — barring all of the previous awkwardness, of course." I chuckled nervously. "So, with that said, why don't you tell me about yourselves?"
Nurse Haywick seemed confused. "But... er, you made us, right? So surely there's nothing we can tell you that you don't already know?"
"Your presence today confirms that... actually, hang on a second." I reached forward and touched them, the feeling of their fur on my skin – as well as the bemused expressions I got – confirming my suspicions. "Your presence today confirms that you are in fact real. My imagination has only contributed to some parts of your life, but everything else has been down to you." I smiled. "So I'm pretty sure there is something you can tell me that I don't know."
"Well..." Doctor Haywick sat down and tapped his chin with a forehoof. "I guess I could regale you with the story of what happened when I was corrupted by Discord." He looked at me. "I assume you know who he is?"
I nodded. "I do indeed," I replied. "But I'm curious as to what you think regarding Fluttershy's attempts to rehabilitate him."
Haywick sighed wistfully. "Fluttershy is the kindest, most compassionate mare I have ever met," he said. "It's been hard, but Discord is slowly changing his ways." He shook his head. "But you don't want to hear about that, you want to hear about what he did to me." Nurse Haywick and I both smiled.
"Obviously, this all happened after his release from stone the first time around; before Fluttershy and the others got the job of rehabilitating him. I was doing my rounds in the hospital when I heard a commotion outside. I looked out of the window, and I saw the most bizarre thing imaginable — chocolate milk, falling from clouds made of cotton candy!"
"Ah, yes," I mused. "An old Discord favourite."
"Can I just say," Nurse Haywick interjected, "that we don't refer to the Harbinger of Chaos as 'Discord?' We refer to her as 'Eris.'"
"A female version of Discord..." I shuddered. "God knows what would happen if those two ever met." I shook my head. "Sorry, Doctor, we didn't mean to interrupt you. Please, continue."
The doctor smiled politely and nodded. "Anyway, I walked outside and saw even more bizarre things — buffaloes wearing tutus dancing like ballerinas, Big Macintosh digging holes in the ground like a dog, rabbits with elongated legs... a lot of really weird stuff."
"I looked around in wonder at the sights laid out before me, when all of a sudden I heard a voice in my ear..."
***
"Ah, a doctor. I was wondering if you could help me?"
Haywick turned around to find himself face-to-face with the Lord of Chaos himself. He gulped audibly and nodded.
"What... what seems to be the problem?"
"You're the problem, my dear doctor." Discord held his claw above Haywick's head. "You seem to be a normal pony, and this is something that I simply cannot allow."
He put a finger to Haywick's head, causing him to shudder. As Discord watched, the colour drained from the doctor's body, leaving him a dull shade of grey. Removing his claw, Discord spoke.
"Now, what can I have you do?" he removed his chin and tapped on it with his other hand for a moment before putting it back on his face. "Ah, I know! When I snap my fingers, you will be under the impression that you are made of rubber."
He snapped his fingers and Haywick brought his head up. He looked around for a moment, then cracked a broad wide-toothed grin and cackled maniacally.
"I am Rubber Stallion!" he shouted to nopony in particular. "I will defeat the forces of harmony and normalcy with my superior bouncing powers of doom and chaos!" He ran back into the hospital and climbed the staircase to the roof, looking out over the chaos-ridden Ponyville. "Hear me, ponies, for I am your bouncy saviour!"
He climbed onto the ledge.
He looked down at the few ponies who had gathered to watch.
He smiled.
He saluted.
He jumped.
***
"In the short time between Discord corrupting me and me jumping off the hospital roof, he had already been blasted by the Elements of Harmony. I hit the ground a couple of seconds after his spell wore off, then spent three weeks in traction."
I grit my teeth. "Damn," I said. "Sorry to hear that."
"Me too," Nurse Haywick added.
"Also, Discord recognised me when Fluttershy brought him back to her house for his rehabilitation." Doctor Haywick sighed. "And the very first thing he said to me was 'So, Doctor, I understand that fall is your favourite time of the year?'"
"Oh, that's cold," I said.
"Fluttershy made him apologise to me, though, so that's something at least." he laughed. "But, yes, that's my story." He turned to his female counterpart. "Now, Nurse, what about you?"
Nurse Haywick shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I do recall one time when I was still living in Manehatten," she said. "It was just after I got my cutie mark and my parents, who were still incredibly proud of me for saving my mother's life—"
"Sorry to interrupt," Doctor Haywick cut in. "But did you say it was your mother's life you saved?" The nurse nodded, and he laughed again. "Well I'll be, it would seem that we truly are the opposites of one another." He noticed the confused look on her face. "I saved my father's life that day, you see. Anyway, please continue."
"Thank you." Nurse Haywick smiled sweetly. "Anyway, as I was saying, my parents were taking me to enrol at the Manehatten Medical Academy. As we walked through the ornate doors and up to the front desk, I felt like my legs were made of jelly..."
***
As the three ponies trotted into the large room, the door behind them closed with a soft click. They made their way to the reception desk, behind which sat a pegasus mare wearing a badge which bore the name 'Day Planner.'
She cast a glance upwards at the three unicorns – two mares and a stallion – who were approaching her, and fixed a smile on her lips.
"Good afternoon, and welcome to the Manehatten Medical Academy," she said. "How can I help you?"
The unicorn stallion stepped forward. "Good afternoon to you too. My name is Hay Stalk," he pointed at one of the mares. "This is my wife, Candle Wick, and our daughter, Hay Wick. We have an appointment to see the head of enrolment."
"Okay." Day Planner looked in her appointments book. "Plaster Cast is currently in another meeting, so please take a seat and I'll let him know you're here."
"Thank you." Hay Stalk nodded, following his wife and daughter over to some nearby chairs. A pile of old magazine sat on a table, yellowed with age and badly dog-eared, although this did not stop Candle Wick from picking one up and flicking through it.
Haywick sat down between her parents and began looking around nervously. Her father, sensing his daughter's apprehension, gently nuzzled her in a soothing manner.
"Sweetheart, will you relax?" he asked. "They would be fools to not accept you into the Academy."
"Your father's right, honey," Candle Wick added. "It is clear, without a shadow of a doubt, that your future lies in medicine. And if they need any proof, I'll just have to tell them all about how you saved my life the other day."
"Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Dad." Haywick sighed. "It's just... what if I get in and then do something to get kicked out?"
"You'll do nothing of the sort," Candle Wick said sternly. "You are a very smart young mare, Hay Wick, meaning that you can do anything if you put your mind to it."
"Listen to your mother, dear," Hay Stalk said. "Believe me, it's the right thing to do." He gave his wife a small grin.
Candle Wick rolled her eyes and gave him a quick kiss. "Trust your parents, darling, and don't let it get to you," she said. "You are going to go in there, and completely ace whatever test he gives."
Haywick smiled and hugged both her parents, just as a door further down the corridor opened and four unicorns came out. Three of them had dejected looks on their faces, while the fourth had a sympathetic look on his.
"I'm sorry," the fourth unicorn said. "But your son hasn't quite met the criteria for enrolment here at Manehatten Medical." He put a hoof on the back of a young stallion who was roughly Haywick's age. "Keep at it, lad, and you'll have better luck next year."
The stallion nodded and waited for his parents to say their goodbyes before the three of them left. As they passed Haywick and her family, they exchanged silent nods by way of greeting.
"Professor Plaster Cast," Day Planner said. "Your three-thirty enrolment appointment is here."
"Oh, good," Plaster Cast replied. He walked over to where Haywick and her parents sat. "Good afternoon, everypony, and thank you for coming in today. Now, which one of you is Hay Wick?"
Haywick stood up. "Me, sir," she replied. "I am ready for my test, and I hope that I can live up to your expectations."
Plaster Cast smiled. "Glad to hear it," he said. "Please, follow me."
He turned and walked back down the corridor to his office. Haywick cast one nervous glance back at her parents – who responded with smiles – and quickly followed him.
***
"I won't bore you by going into the exact details of the test," Nurse Haywick said. "But I will tell you what happened afterwards..."
***
Haywick sat nervously as Plaster Cast looked over the completed test paper she had given him. The quill he held in his aura danced across the parchment, and his face bore no signs of emotion.
Eventually, he put the parchment down on his desk. Standing up, he walked over to where Haywick sat.
"Well, Hay Wick," he said. "I have completed marking your test, and I'm sorry to have to tell you..." Haywick's face fell. "That you scored seventy-nine out of eighty."
Haywick looked up at him. "Wait..." she paused for a moment. "You mean... I've actually passed?!"
"And with flying colours." Plaster Cast nodded, then held out a forehoof. "Welcome to the Manehatten Medical Acade— mmph!"
He didn't get to finish his sentence as Haywick suddenly shot of her seat and pressed her lips against his. After she tore herself away, she began dancing around the room.
"I passed! I passed! I passed! I..." she froze. "Kissed the teacher!" She looked at Plaster Cast and blushed madly. "Oh, Celestia, I am so sorry about that! It's just... I was expecting to fail, and then you looked as if you were going to confirm that — when instead you were playing a joke on me, meaning I got really excited and... oh, I hope this doesn't count as a blemish on my record!"
Plaster Cast coughed. "Relax," he said. "You're not the first one to have done that — although it's usually one of the parents who kisses me, not the student." He chuckled. "Let's just forget it ever happened, shall we?" Haywick nodded. "Right." He held out his forehoof again. "Welcome to the Manehatten Medical Academy."
Haywick grasped his hoof and shook it, grinning broadly. "Thank you, Professor Plaster Cast," she said. "I won't let you down!"
"I don't doubt for a second that you will." Plaster Cast handed Haywick her test paper, which was marked with his official stamp and signature. "Give these to Day Planner, and she will tell you when to report for Fresher's Week."
Haywick smiled and left, a skip clearly evident in her step.
***
"So, yeah, there you have it." Nurse Haywick giggled. "I was so pleased about getting into the Academy, I made out with the professor." She blushed. "My first kiss..."
"Well, that was certainly an interesting story." I looked at the clock, letting out a small gasp at the time. "Holy hell, it's after midnight. I think we'd better start on getting you two home, because I'm pretty sure a lot of ponies are worried about you."
"But how do we get back?" Doctor Haywick asked. "My speciality is in medicinal magic, not teleportation."
"Damn, good point." I put a hand to my chin.
Nurse Haywick put a hoof up. "Chris," she said. "You're our creator, so maybe you have to send us back somehow?"
I thought for a moment, then snapped my fingers. "That's a brilliant idea!" I said. "All right, I'll try it. But first..."
I scooped both of them into a hug, which they were quick to return. Doctor Haywick patted me on the back, while Nurse Haywick opted for nuzzling my cheek. After a moment, I put them down.
"It has been a pleasure meeting you both," I said. "I'm sorry to see you go, but I know that you've got lives to live. Perhaps, someday, we will be able to meet again?"
"I'd like that," both Haywicks said in unison.
"Oh, and keep our meeting to yourselves." I tapped my nose. "You wouldn't want anypony thinking you're crazy, would you?"
They both shook their heads and sat in the middle of the floor, while I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
Doctor and Nurse Haywick both returned to their respective Equestrias, where they were surprised to learn that very little time had passed since they were transported to Earth. The two of them then lived long and happy lives, keeping their meeting with Chris a secret they would eventually take to their graves.
I opened my eyes to find that both Haywicks were gone, not a single trace of their presence remaining behind. Letting out a contented sigh, I proceeded to sort out the power in the house.
But from that day onwards, I looked forward to the time when I would meet my creations once more.
In this life, or the next.