//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: The Crystal Empire of Fu Manchu // Story: Mystery Pony Theater 3000 // by JusSonic //------------------------------// Chapter 2: The Crystal Empire of Fu Manchu "Hey folks, sorry for not speaking for a while. Anyhoo, while things are going to Tartartus, the ponies and the humans...need a plan." "We need a plan!" Twilight exclaims, pacing back and forth in the room. "Twilight, relax." Celestia said to her fellow princess with a sigh. "We will find a way to fix this." "But the bad guys got a head start! We don't have anything that can help us locate the Elements. By the time we do get one, they would’ve got the Element of Loyalty by then." "My element in the claws of those creeps?!" Rainbow yells in shock and alarm. "No way!" "Ponies, girls, you all are beautiful!" Mike exclaims to the ponies, making them look a bit embarrassed. "I'm sure we can find a way. Now, Joel? Can you whiff something up in a hurry?" "Not sure, Mike." Joel said with a sigh, looking concerned. "We will need more than an invention. We need a guide." "You want one? You got him!" A familiar voice exclaims as Discord appear...or in this case, a spiritual form of the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. "GAHHHHH!" Most of everyone exclaims in alarm by this. "A ghost!" Gypsy exclaims with a whimper. "Discord, there you are." Fluttershy said, flying over to her friend. She notices something wrong. "You look..." "Transparent? I know. I was fused with that Clayton jerk." Discord scoffs as he crosses his arms, pouting like a baby. "Me. The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, having his body hijacked." "Right now, we're involved in something called "The Fusing"." Luna explains, making Discord arch an eyebrow at this. "You know of this?" "Sounds familiar to me...sort of..." "We need to find a way to locate the rest of the elements before our enemies do." Twilight explains to Discord seriously. "But we don't know how to get to." "Well, I may not be in control of my body, I can talk to you in spirit form. I can sense into Forrester's mind right now...and know where he's heading." Discord explains, much to everyone's delight. "Wonderful! You can tell us where they're going, and we will beat them there." "You want help? We're there!" Rainbow exclaims with a smile, landing in front of her leader. "No one gets their hands on our elements!" "We're with you guys one hundred percent!" Pinkie said, holding up a brave face. "Shoot, 'de Element o' Honesty won't back out o' dis!" Applejack exclaims, looking determined to help her friend. "Oooh, fun, fun!" Pinkie exclaims, wearing a lot of silly stuff, bringing her party cannon, etc. "Can't wait!" "Well, the last thing I want is to live in a world that is going to Tartartus in a hoof basket." Rarity said, moving her mane up. "So count me in, Darling." "Well, uh, I prefer not to do any fighting..." Fluttershy said meekly. "But...if it's to help my friends, I will help." "All right, I'm in!" Spike exclaims, rubbing his claws with a smile. "And no one tell me otherwise!" "The humans and the robots will come with you as well." Celestia said to the ponies and Spike with a smile. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait," Discord said as everyone looked up to him. "Are you telling us that these guys are joining them on their quest? These... movie riffers?" "So?" Crow shrugged. "What's the problem?" "They know about the monsters or anything from their films then we do, Discord." Luna explains to Discord in concern. "If anything from them appear, they will give out the info." "They aren't fighters, more like hecklers!" Discord exclaims with a frown, crossing his arms. "I know, I read Forrester's mind and saw his opinion of them." "Well, hey, give us a chance." Joel said with a smile. "We can fight when we could...and our inventions will give us the advantage." "Well, fine. Whatever." "Come on, guys, we've got Adventure Sign!" Mike smiled. "What?" Twilight asked. "Sorry, being holed in the Satellite of Love too long, you'd get used to these sort of things!" Mike said as everyone started to head out for adventure. Suddenly without warning, a message appear, startling everyone. Twilight floats it over to her and opens it. The Alicorn looks it over, gasping in worry. "Twilight? What's wrong?" Fluttershy ask Twilight, noting the worried look on her friend's face. "The Crystal Empire had been taken by a new enemy." Twilight said seriously. She turns to the humans and robots, asking, "Do any of you know anyone named Fu Manchu?" Joel and the robots' eyes widen in horror. They look at each other...and screams like pansies. -------------------- The bad guys are on their way to the area where the Element of Loyalty is at. Erhardt groans, giving out a look of jealousy towards Frank. He can't believe Forrester went and replace him like that! What kind of a friend is he?! Not only that, but the scientist didn't tell him about anything else, like his mother, etc. Well, Dr. Erhardt is determined to get his position as Forrester's sidekick back no matter what. "Hey, guys...perhaps we should keep track of our enemies." Dr. Earhardt spoke up, getting the others' attention. "That way, we can give them distractions." "Well, Lawrence...for someone who has been gone for a while...you came up with a brilliant idea." Forrester said thoughtfully. "Hey, Brainiac!" "It's Brain Guy." Brain Guy said to Forrester dryly. "How about giving out a distraction for Mike, his robots and ponies?" Brain Guy pauses as he made two portals appear, showing the matter at the Friendship Rainbow Kingdom castle and the Crystal Empire. He blinks and spoke, "Apparently, they would be visit with something called Fu Manchu at the moment." "Fu Manchu?!" TV's Frank gasps, making a horrified scream. "Fu Manchu?! Not Fu Manchu?!" Professor Bobo screams, feeling wanting to faint. "Uhhhh...who's Fu Manchu?" "Another villain from a bad film played by Christopher Lee." Forrester explains to the monkey, rolling his eyes. "His movie almost drove Joel and the robots...along with me and Frank at the end of the experiment...crazy." "Ahhhh. Looks like we got our distraction." Pearl remarks with an evil laugh. "But maybe we can give Mr. Manchu a helping hand. Brain Guy? Keep an eye on them...give them some distractions." "Yes, madam." Brain Guy said with a nod. As the villains kept on walking, the Observer kept on keeping an eye, planning to use any distractions with his powers. ---------------------------------------- Meanwhile, out in the field, Joel, Mike, the bots and the Mane Six were now driving around in a vehicle that Joel quickly invented in the last possible moment so that they could avoid walking as they were using the little car to start driving through the grassy terrain. "Is this safe?" Applejack asked. "Well, it has to be, doesn't it?" Tom said. "Joel's driving." "That's right." Joel nodded. "Well, at least we're making some good progress..." As Joel kept driving, the robots were marveling at the site of Equestria. "So, this is a really nice hometown you have..." Crow smiled. "Thanks. Despite it going through the Fusing, it's actually a pretty nice place." Twilight smiled. Joel nodded as Twilight paused. "So, Tom, Crow, Gypsy, when you first got back on Earth, what were your first feelings on it?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Well..." Tom said. "It was a little more realistic than what we're used to." "Yeah, after nearly two hundred crappy movies and plain photographs, we were impressed with the quality of this reality." Crow explained. "Yep, we saw a lot of places passing by... a lot of fast food restaurants... oh, and Sears! That's where babies come from!" Gypsy smiled. Pinkie and the other ponies shook their heads in shock as Pinkie said, "Wait, what?" Joel sighed as he turned towards the ponies for a second. "Gypsy asked me that question once, and I kind of panicked." "Oh..." The ponies nodded. "Say, when you ponies decide to visit Earth, if any of you want to come with, we want to go to Coleman Francis's grave and spit on it. Willing to join?" Crow asked. "...eh, maybe some other time." Rarity said, uncomfortable with the idea. As Joel kept driving, Mike paused. "You know, there's something I feel we forgot... what was it?" ----------------------------------------------------------- Back inside the castle, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia decided to go down to the dungeon as they opened the door... and all of a sudden, Tricia ran out, breathing. Princess Luna blinked. "Oh yeah... forgot about you." Tricia growled. "WHERE ARE THEY?" "They just left." Celestia said. "They should be at the Crystal Empire..." At those words, Tricia IMMEDIATELY ran out the door of the castle. Celestia paused. "This does not bode well..." ---------------------------------------------------- "Oh well, probably nothing important." Mike said as he relaxed. All of a sudden, everything started going black as Joel blinked. "Is it me or is the sky getting darker..." "Hang on, let me shine some light..." Twilight said as she started to make her horn glow. A loud buzzing is heard, getting everyone's attention. Spike ask nervously, "What is that loud buzzing?" "Wait, it sounds familiar." Mike said in concern. Where have he heard that buzzing before? "INCOMING!" Tom Servo screams like a girl as he saw something. The gang yelps as something rushes by, knocking them out of their car, knocking it over. As they got up, the Heroes gasps as a huge mantis like creature flew overheard, roaring in fury. "It's a huge mantis creature!" Fluttershy cries out in horror. "Worst. It's the Deadly Mantis!" Crow cries out. "It mates, then it kills." "Eeeew!" Some of the heroes exclaims in disgust. The gang watch as the Deadly Mantis flew back, preparing for another run. "Here's an idea." Joel said to his friends nervously. "What?" "RUN!" The gang runs off with the Deadly Mantis in hot pursuit. And what do you, Tricia of all people arrives on the scene (don’t ask me how she caught up so quickly), frowning. "There you guys are! Now..." Tricia looks confused as the others rush past her. "Where the hell are you going?!" "Run, run, run!" Rarity calls out to Tricia. She turns and saw the Deadly Mantis almost upon her. "AW HELL!" Tricia rush off, joining the others as the Deadly Mantis kept on the pursuit. Twilight and her friends scream as they run off the new comers. "AHHHHH! WE'RE DEAD IN THE DESERT!!!!" Tom Servo exclaims frantically. "It's a bug hunt, man, a bug hunt!" Crow whines a bit like mad. "Rarity, look out!" Spike screams in alarm. Rarity looks up, screaming as the Deadly Mantis flew down and is prepared to grab her... "Okie dokie lokie! This is where you came in. Caught up so far? Good, let's move on!" Suddenly Rainbow flew in and kicks at the Deadly Mantis, causing it to roar and miss Rarity. The Pegasus yells out, "Yeah, next time you wanna get my pals, don't!" "Quick, Mike, how did the heroes in the Deadly Mantis kill this one?!" Twilight calls out to Mike in concern. "Well, a plane crashes into it, the Deadly Mantis fell into the tunnel; the men fire bullets and bombs and The End." Mike explains to Twilight frantically. "Buck it! We don't have any bullets or bombs with us!" "You want bombs?! You got them, bitch!" Tricia snaps as she took out some sort of bomb and threw it at the Deadly Mantis. The bomb blew up, causing the Deadly Mantis to roar as...it turns into a frozen Popsicle. The gang yelps and moves as the monster hits the floor, breaking into pieces. "Wow." The ponies said, glancing at the remains of the Deadly Mantis. "You think you're the only one with inventions, Joel Robinson?!" Tricia laughs at Joel in amusement. "I can invent too. Men. Go fig." "Well, thanks for the help, Tricia." Joel said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "But we need to get to the Crystal Empire. Fu Manchu just took over." "Fu what now?" "A Chinese terrorist from a movie we watced." Crow said, shuddering. "The movie itself is more terrifying than the villain." "Well, the car is a wreck." Gypsy sighs as she glances at the remains of the car that got knocked over by the Deadly Mantis. "We will have to go on by foot." "And you, pal, own me an explanation for stealing the Satellite of Love!" Tricia exclaims sternly to Mike as the gang moves on. "D'oh!" Mike exclaims, slapping himself on the forehead in annoyance. ----------- "The Deadly Mantis is down." Brain Guy said sternly as the Villains watch what happened. "They have to go to the Crystal Empire on foot." "At least the delay can keep them busy long enough for us to steal the Element of Loyalty." Pearl remarks with a grunt as she kept her eye on the element tracker. "Meantime, you send in something else." "Ooh! I got an idea for one!" Frank exclaims with a smile, waving. "And I got a doozy!" "Right, doozy." Dr. Erhardt remarks dryly, rolling his eyes a bit. ------------ It was nighttime as the gang stops to get some sleep for the night. Twilight teleports the group across ways but she wants to rest a bit. Most of the ponies are sleeping, the robots are sleeping (if you call it that). The only ones not sleeping are Mike, Joel, Tricia and Twilight, Tricia is giving a suspicious look at Mike. "Geez, stop looking at me." Mike remarks in annoyance to Tricia. "You act like I'm your father or something." "Eck, gross!" Tricia exclaims in disgust. "Don't even go there, butthead!" "So...Mike? Do you...ever miss your family?" Twilight ask Mike, getting his attention. "Well, often. I got an abusive brother who is a major ass. Crow once told me that he took my role when he went back in time to try to talk me out of taking temporarily jobs for a while." "Wait, you can change the past? Really?" "Yeah, it's much confusing. Crow left an extra himself in the past." Joel remarks, giving out a chuckle. "Actually, it's amusing. If you left another you in the past, you can get more dates that way." "But it will make a paradox! A paradox double is always doomed!" Twilight exclaims, waving her upper hooves in the air. "At least, that's what I was told." "Ha! Paradox doubles. A bunch of nonsense." Tricia remarks with a scoff. "You, pony, have seen too many books." "So Mike, I've heard the robots saying you've caused a lot of...problems?" Mike looks a bit awkward at that. He rubs the back of his head, explaining, "Well, I sometimes causes some problems. I've blew up three worlds." "You've blew up 3 worlds?!" Tricia and Twilight yells in shock and alarm. "Hey, hey, not on purpose! The first time, I've made the mistake of helping the apes and some mutants activate a huge bomb. The second time, I've helped Mrs. Forrester and Bobo escaped. The third time, the same thing only with Brain Guy. I may be the destroyer of worlds, but I am not doing so intentionally." "Boy, you really makes me wanna kick your ass!" Tricia remarks to Mike, making him gulp a bit. "Listen, we need to get some sleep. Maybe then we will have an early start to the empire, get rid of Fu Manchu and..." Joel stops as a noise is heard. "What's that?" "What's what?" Twilight ask as she looks around. The noise is heard. "What the hay is that?!" "Maybe it's one of the others snoring or whatever you call it." Tricia remarks dryly. "I swea..." Suddenly a roar is heard as some sort of creature holding a bat appears. This woke the others up, causing them to scream with Crow screaming in a girlish voice. "WHO ARE YOU?!" Fluttershy screams in horror at the newcomer. "Uh...Packers!" The creature exclaims as he waves his bat at Fluttershy who yelps and dodges. "Mike, Mike! It's the zombie from "Zombie Nightmare"! What are we gonna do?!" Crow whines a bit in horror. "How did you know it's the zombie from that movie?" Mike yells as the Zombie Nightmare zombie Tony Washington growls, trying to hurt Spike who rolls out of the way. "The bat and the T-Shirt "I Survived Zombie Nightmare and All I Got Was This Damn T-Shirt" gave it away!" "Oh." --------------------------------------- Meanwhile, over at the Crystal Empire, Cadance was looking out the window in concern as she sighed. She was now really hoping Twilight and her friends would hurry this up... "Come on, Twilight, you've got to help... your brother needs you, I need you... and who knows what Fu Manchu is doing with that Crystal Heart now..." Cadance said in concern. ------------------------------------------- Back with the Mad Scientists, Pearl smiled as she looked at the tracker. "Not too far now..." Frank looked around as he said, "Have you noticed the backgrounds of this place is suddenly changing?" "Who cares about that, Frank? The sooner we find the elements, the better!" Dr. Forrester frowned. "I'm just saying, the background that's usually so colorful and cheerful, it looks like something from one of the experiments..." Frank said. "Let's just keep trudging." Pearl said. "Come on!" --------------------------------------------------- The ponies and gang dodges the zombie's bat wrath, it growls madly while trying kill them. "Mike, guys! How was the zombie beaten in "Zombie Nightmare"?"! Twilight calls out to the guys frantically. "Adam West shot at him." Crow explains to Twilight. "He shot him?!" "Yeah, after shooting the voodoo lady that brought him back to life after Tony was run down by teenagers. Yeah, doesn't make sense to me either." "Oh, well, maybe someone could try to speak to him." Fluttershy said meekly. "I mean...we didn't kill him so uh..." "Allow me, I am a lady." Rarity said, clearing her throat as she comes up to Tony Washington who looks at her, growling puzzled. "Dear sir; we aren't the ones you are wanting to...bash brains in with the bat or whatever you zombies like to do. So if you please be a gentlemen and go on your merry way, we will participate it." "Rarity, this is a zombie. They only understand carnage and brain eating." Rainbow said in annoyance and disbelief to Rarity. "Come on, I'm sure that as he is a gentleman who became a monster by being run down, there must be some..." The zombie however grabs Rarity by the mane, causing her to scream in pain. Tricia yelps out, "Okay, democracy's over. Time to get serious!" "Why so serious?!" Tom Servo laughs like mad. "Oh, stop that!" Twilight exclaims, freaking out. "I can't blast the zombie with Rarity in the way! Does anyone have any ideas." "Ooh, I know! I read when you cut a zombie's head off, it stays dead!" Spike exclaims eagerly, getting an idea on how to stop the zombie. "Well, luckily I got this!" Pinkie exclaims, holding out a machete, making some of the heroes yelp a bit. "Someone keep the zombie busy!" Rarity screams loudly, making the zombie growl at her. "Thank you, Rarity!" Pinkie bounces right onto the zombie's back, making it yelp as she quickly sticks the weapon right in the monster's neck. The zombie formerly known as Tony Washington roars in pain as she cut right through his neck. "Ugh! That's one way to get rid of a zombie!" Joel exclaims in disgust. "Aaaaaand done!" Pinkie exclaims happily as she cut the zombie's head right off, causing the body to fall off. Tricia quickly kicks the head, sending it flying into the distance. The girl smirks as she calls out, "Field goal! 10 points!" "Ugh, glad that's over." Rarity said, putting a hoof to her chest. "I don't know if I should feel relief or horrified of you wielding a weapon, Pinkie Pie." "Be glad I ain't serving cupcakes." Pinkie said with an insane look, making the others gulp in worry. "Just kidding! Or am I?" "I'm staying away from you tonight!" Gypsy whimpers as she moves away from Pinkie. "Me too!" Rainbow exclaims, flying into a tree, holding onto a branch while looking at Pinkie in concern. Last thing she wants is to be next on the list. "All right, all right, everyone, let's get some sleep." Joel said with a sigh, motioning the others to get back to sleep. "We got a long way to go since we got no car." "Yeah, and who knows what Fu Manchu would do with the Crystal Heart by now." Twilight said in worry, fearing of what Fu Manchu would do with the Crystal Heart in his possession. Twilight fears the worst for Equestria right now. "We must leave before dawn." Mike said in concern to the others. "Why so early?" Applejack ask Mike puzzled. "Because we're in the middle of some wasteland. And we may not get far once that sun gets overhead." As Mike points up to the sky, we dissolved to morning as the sun appears... "Nice dissolve." Pinkie's voice comments on the dissolving. ------------ Fu Manchu smiles eagerly as he looks at the Crystal Heart on display. Of course, at the same time, he looks annoyed that his men are trying to remove it but kept getting zapped. The power obviously saw the evil in their hearts and won't let them near it. "Sir, so far, no dice." One of the minions grunts a bit. "It keeps repelling us." "Hmmm, only those true of heart must be the one to get it." Fu Manchu said thoughtfully while scratching his chin. "From what we were told from forcing the information from these ponies, King Sombra tried to get it. Nowadays..." Fu Manchu pauses as he looks at the tower where Cadance is being held. Looks like it's time to question this Crystal Empire's ruler. Fu Manchu will get what he wants, one way or another... -------------- "Ugh! Water, water..." Twilight groans as she walks on, trying her best to get to the Crystal Empire...which is still MILES AWAY! "Water, water..." Spike sighs a bit from the walking...which Twilight is doing while on his back. "Spike, you're riding on my back. You are hardly walking at all!" "I still want water..." "Oil, oil..." Crow groans a bit, getting a bit thirsty. "Room service, room service." Tricia groans a bit, complaining as she walks on. "Okay, I think we referenced "Spaceballs" long enough." Mike said to the others with a sigh. "Seriously though? We won't get far without anything to drink, eat, or..." "Wait, you needed food or drinks? No problem!" Pinkie exclaims, dumping out a lot of water and food from...who knows where, along with some oil. "Just ask!" "I don't even wanna know how you did that." Tricia snaps as she grabs a canteen, drinking from it. "Thank God." "We still need transportation." Fluttershy reminds her friends sadly. "And I don't know how long the wings can keep us Pegasi or Alicorn a..." "Wait, what's that?" Mike ask as he notices a car zooming right towards them. "A ride!" Twilight exclaims with a smile as she trots on forward. "We could ask the driver if he can take us to the Crystal Empire!" "How would we know?" "We just gotta ask. Just stick out your hooves!" The gang stick out their hooves/thumbs/whatever they got. They saw the car slowing down, which means that the driver must've noticed them. Once the vehicle stops, the gang saw it was some sort of rough man in Plaid clothes. Joel and the bots are the first to recognize him. "JOE DON BAKER!" Joel and the bots exclaims. He yelps and dodges some bullets from the man’s gun that he’s wielding. "Gah!" "Damn it, whatcha folks doing calling me that for?!" The man snaps as he got out of the car. "And for the record, it's Mitchell." "Just call him by name!" Pinkie exclaims happily, making Mitchell look at her oddly. "What?" "Sir, sorry if my friends offended you." Twilight apologizes to Mitchell with a smile. "We had a long day." "Great, a talking ass." Mitchell groans, slapping himself on the forehead. "Ever since some flash, I have...on second thought, screw that, I ain't interested in telling." "Good! We don't wanna hear about it." Tom Servo said happily, he yelps as Mitchell growls at him. "Never mind." "Sir, sir, we need a ride to the Crystal Empire." Fluttershy said meekly to Mitchell. "Why?" Mitchell ask with a glare, making Fluttershy whimper. "Damn it, I got other things to do than picking up damn hitchhikers." "Hey, we need to get to the Crystal Empire to save it from some man who looks Chinese." Joel explains to Mitchell clearly. "So if you could find it in your heart..." "Or whatever you got under your tards of fat." Crow exclaims with a chirp to Joel. "...you could help us." "Come on, please, please, please?" The ponies pleads to Mitchell, giving them hopeful squees. "Ugh, damn it. I hate it when...fine...but you all gotta sit in the back!" Mitchell groans, giving in to the cute looks. "And keep your arms to yourselves!" "How the hell are we supposed to sit back there?" Tricia ask, looking at the size of Mitchell's car. "This is Joe Don Baker! Physics don't reply to him." Tom Servo explains to Tricia happily as the gang got in the car. "And stop calling me Joe Don Baker!" Mitchell exclaims in irritation at the bot for calling him "Joe Don Baker". --------------------- Mitchell drove the gang right through the area. With the rest from walking, the gang was able to recover for their adventure. Eventually, they reach the boundaries of the Crystal Empire area. Upon stopping on arrival, everyone got out and look over a hill. There are guards out front, guarding the entrance to the empire. "So how are we going to get by them?" Rainbow ask her friends in concern. "They will shoot at us." "We just need some sort of trick to sneak by them." Joel said, scratching his chin a bit. "They don't look smart..." "Neither are you punks." Jo...err, I mean Mitchell said, grunting as he checks his gun. "We just go in guns a-blazing." "And kill us?! Are you mad?!" Rarity yelps to Mitchell in horror. "This is Mitchell, he is mad." Mike said to Rarity dryly. "Oooh, oooh, I got an idea!" Pinkie exclaims, bouncing up and down happily. "One of us could pretend to be a bounty hunter, taking in captives for Fu Manchu...that way, we can get in and really help stop those meanies." "Hmmm, sounds like an idea. But who will be the bounty hunter?" "Say, Mitchell?" Applejack ask Mitchell who looks up to her. "Mind givin' us a hoof?" -------------- The guards thought they have saw it all, especially from their line of work with Fu Manchu. But seeing a cowboy, bringing in some humans and some ponies by rope sorta beats it all. "Halt, who goes there?" One of the guards demands to the cowboy. "I am Sheriff Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III." The man known as Geronimo remarks with a grunt. "Your boss send me to catch these folks and critters for questioning." "You will never take us alive, copper." Mike remarks, making a raspberry noise at the cop. He yelps as Geronimo pushes him. "Enough out of you!" "We weren't informed of this." The second guard said with a suspicious frown. "I should call the boss." "Fine, go ahead...but he won't be happy if you assholes bug him or questioning about his orders." Geronino comments. Hearing that made the guards worried. "Yeah, if you wanna call and check, go ahead...but Fu Manchu won't be pleased if he finds out one of his men questioned an order..." "Err, on second thought, you go on ahead." The first guard said nervously as he motions Geromino and his captives to go on. No need to question Fu Manchu's orders and get into trouble. "The boss should be questioning the pink pony with a horn and wings right now." The second guard said with a nod. Geronimo grunts as he leads the captives away. The group waited until they are out of hearing range. Then Pinkie giggles, "Hee hee. Those meanies aren't so smart after all." "Eeyup! Thanks fer 'de assistance, Mitchell." Applejack said, giving a wink to Geronimo, who is really Mitchell in disguise. "I don't do this for everyone, just be glad I ain't on my drinking spree or whatever I like doing." Mitchell remarks, annoyed that he has to play cowboy just because some folks got him to help out. "And the fact that Joe Don Baker played both Geronimo and you may help." Mike quips a bit, making Mitchell frowns. "What?" ----------------- Pretty soon, the group were near a crossroads. "Okay, we better split up." Twilight said. "Obviously, I need Mitchell to go with Applejack, Rainbow and Pinkie. Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike, stick with me. Mike, Joel, robots, go with Applejack's group. They may need you for advice on how to defeat Fu Manchu." "All right." Joel nodded. "Where are you guys going?" "To free my brother and sister-in-law!" Twilight said. "We may need their help too. Come on!" With that said, Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, Mitchell, Mike, Joel and the bots went to the left, whilst Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity and Spike went to the right... leaving behind a flabbergasted Tricia. Tricia then annoyingly said, "Uh, thanks a lot, f**kers!" ------------------------------------------------ Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity and Spike walked as Spike said, "Okay, it's simple enough, we find Cadance, we free her, the Crystal Empire goes back to normal, and we continue our search for the Elements." "I just hope we're not too late..." Fluttershy sighed as the four were nearing a corner, which, unbeknownst to them, someone was also rounding. ---------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, with Applejack's group, Joel sighed as he started to hum a song, "Whoa-oh, slow the plot down." "Hey, Joel, look at this." Crow said, turning his head. Joel looked up as everyone saw a huge tower. "Wonder what's in there?" "Only one way to find out." Pinkie said as she pulled out a telescope and looked in. "Oh, cool!" "What?" Applejack said as everyone peered in. Through the telescope, they saw Princess Cadance in the tower, chained up, trying to free herself. "Well..." Mike nodded. "At least we know where Twilight's sister-in-law is..." "Yeah... but where's..." Tom Servo started. -------------------------------------------------- "FU MANCHU!" Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy and Spike screamed upon coming face to face with Fu Manchu. "More of you?" Fu Manchu frowned. "Guards!" "RUN!" Rarity screamed as the four started to run. "AFTER THEM!" Fu Manchu screamed as he and some guards started to give chase. The four quickly rush into a building...with doors in it. Spike yells out, "Scramble!" The four rush through different doors as Fu Manchu and the guards rush after them. Some of the gang rush in and out of the doors. Rarity rush out through a car for some reason and in through another door. Twilight and Spike chased by a guard rush out...on the ceiling....and through another door. Fluttershy rush down a hallway and bumps into Fu Manchu, knocking both down as the others peek out of the doors in confusion before they go back into the doors, with Fluttershy and Fu Manchu rushing off. Eventually, the door chase ends when Twilight's group rush out of the building. Twilight snaps, "I don't even want to know what just happened back there." The group yelps as Fu Manchu appears, blocking them. The guards appear behind the girls and Dragon. Looks like they're trapped. "This game of cat and mouse shall cease." Fu Manchu said wickedly to the group. "Now you shall tell me how the Crystal Heart works." "What do you even want with it?" Fluttershy ask Fu Manchu nervously. "With its power, I shall power a device that shall freeze everything in this world. Then your rulers must meet my demands...or else." "Wait, what? 'Freeze everything'?" Twilight ask Fu Manchu in disbelief. "If you froze everything, wouldn't it make it hard for them to do so? They won't be moving at all." "Honestly, what kind of plan is that anyway?" Spike ask Fu Manchu with a scoff. "Now unless you mean putting Equestria in another Ice Age, then yeah, that would make sense...but freezing everything literally?" "Look, does it matter?! I am Fu Manchu! Your race's existence means nothing to me!" Fu Manchu exclaims in frustration to the heroes. "Now..." Fu Manchu yelps as some gunshots almost hit him. He glares as Mitchell was shooting at him, snapping, "Get your goddamn frigging hands away from the ponies, Fool Man-doofish!" "I have no idea whom you are, but you made a terrible mistake." "So are you in that getup!" Mike remarks as he and his pals join the battlefield, so to speak. "Did your mom dressed you?" "Yeah. And while we're at it, why don't you go back to Middle Earth and try to get a ring, Saruman?" Tom Servo jokes a bit, making Crow laugh like mad. "Yeah, he does look like him a bit." Crow remarks with a frown, making Sar...err, I mean Fu Manchu at this. "May the Force be with us; Wow, looks like the James Bond villain has missed his nipple." "Blah blah blah. Drac is dumb, blah." "All right, that's enough!" Fu Manchu exclaims, getting angry by the insults, having enough. "Now you all shall suffer the wrath of my pet!" Suddenly stomping noises are heard as the guards yelp, running for the hills. The gang saw a 30 foot Gila monster appearing, roaring viciously. Rainbow gasps, "It's a giant Gila Monster!" "Yeah, the same one that replaces Godzilla vs. Megalon in the DVD cases!" Joel exclaims in surprise at the sight of the monster. "Back off, ugly!" Twilight exclaims sternly as she flies right at the monster...only for it to swipe its tail at the Alicorn, sending her flying. "Twilight!" Most of the heroes exclaims in shock and alarm as the princess is send flying. Mitchell opens fire on the Giant Gila Monster who roars and slashes at the mad man who quickly dodges. He exclaims, "Damn it. This isn't how I made a living!" "Tell me yew fellers know how 'ta stop 'dis vermint!" Applejack exclaims as she kicks the Giant Gila Monster in the face. "He was destroyed in an explosion!" Joel exclaims as he dodges the Giant Gila Monster's attack. The monster roars angrily. "Wow, Gila is angry today." "And we're not?" Gypsy ask with a scoff. Twilight meanwhile kept on being send flying until she crashes through the roof of a familiar tower where Cadance is at. The pink Alicorn gasps as her sister in law gets back up, groaning. "Twilight! You're here!" Cadance exclaims, trying to come over but the chains pull her back. "Hey, I'm here." Twilight said with a weak smile. "Just dropping in." -------------------------------------- Meanwhile, back with the others... uh... Joel, Mike, the bots, Mitchell, the other members of the Mane Six, the Giant Gila Monster and Fu Manchu seemed to be enjoying a small tea party. "So... like you say, if I did this one fanfiction where it's a really big project... would it be worth the time and patience?" Mike asked. "I don't know, Mike... but it seems really good..." Pinkie smiled. "But, I want to focus a whole lot on that other project... but at the same time, I don't want to leave my friend hanging... it's sort of a come and go thing, you know?" Mike asked. "Well, I'm sure the friend of yours is very patient, Mike." Pinkie shrugged. "But seriously, darling, you should really get a good look at your groomer's." Rarity smiled as Fu Manchu popped a chocolate bon bon in his mouth. "You really think so?" Fu Manchu asked. "Yeah, you should really check out a groomer I personally know." Crow said as he handed Fu Manchu a card. "Here, something to consider." "Oh, interesting..." Fu Manchu smiled. They heard a cough from nearby as everyone jumped. Tom Servo blinked. "Huh?" Pinkie Pie looked up and gasped. "Aw s***, the other author is back. Quick, back into place!" Everyone nodded as they were going back as Joel muttered, "That other guy sure took his sweet time!" "Okay, I'll rope him up!" Applejack said as she used a lasso to slow down the Gila monster. "And I'm on my way to the Crystal Heart!" Fu Manchu frowned as he started to bound back. "Oh no you don't!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she and Mitchell began to give chase. --------------------------------------------------------------- Back at the holding cell, Twilight had freed Princess Cadance as the two of them started to run over. "Okay, we're going to take a chance! We need to save the Crystal Heart and get out of there quick!" Twilight said as the two of them started to fly. "I just hope we're not too late!" Princess Cadance sighed in worry. "Don't worry... we have at least a couple of posts left to do this chapter, so hopefully we can defeat Fu Manchu by that time!" Twilight said. "For the other world's sake, I hope you are correct." Princess Cadance said as the two kept galloping off. ------------------------------------------------------ Meanwhile, back with Tricia Leonard, she was pacing back and forth, just waiting. "Those fuckers. f***, f***, f***, f***, f***!" Tricia swore in anger. "Do they really think they'd leave me out of the adventure? Those motherf**kers!" Tricia frowned as she sat down. "I really hate these people!" ------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, Twilight and Princess Cadance arrived at the Crystal Heart as Princess Cadance sighed. "Yes! We made it!" "Come on, let's get the goods!" Twilight said as she and Princess Cadance were about to head over to the Crystal Heart... "Hold it right there!" A familiar voice exclaims. The Females gasps as Fu Manchu appears, holding a sword at the two. "No way! How did you get here so fast?!" Twilight ask Fu Manchu in shock and confusion. Fu Manchu was about to speak, then he looks confused while turning to a minion, asking, "How did we anyway?" "I don't know." The minion remarks with a shrug as he pulls down a map of the Crystal Empire area. "By all accounts it doesn't make sense." "Oh, well, back to business. And now, the Crystal Heart is mine!" "Back off, ass wipe!" Mitchell exclaims as he and Rainbow appears, the man held his gun at Fu Manchu. "Put your hands in the air!" "And don't even think of waving them like you don't care!" Rainbow exclaims with a laugh. "Fools! You are no match for Fu Manchu!" Fu Manchu hisses furiously at his enemies. "You are nothing more than..." "Uh, excuse me? You do realize we outnumbered you, correct?" Cadance ask Fu Manchu, pointing out something. Fu Manchu blinks as he now notices that only he and his minion, who just got punched in the face by Mitchell and knocked out, are outnumbered. Correction: now only he is left. "Oh crap. I didn't think this through." Fu Manchu said, sweat dropping a bit. He yelps as Mitchell grabs him. "No! Not in the face!" Fu Manchu screams like a baby as Mitchell threw him out a nearby window. Everyone watches until the villain hits the ground hard. "Boy, what a baby." Rainbow remarks, rolling his eyes. "Was that necessary, Mitchell?" Twilight ask Mitchell, annoyed by his action. "Hey, no one gives a damn about him anyway like some one-eyed pony from a cartoon crossover." Mitchell remarks with a scoff, brushing Twilight's words off. "Cliché." "All right, time to put the power of the Crystal Heart to good use." Cadance said smiling as she goes over to the Crystal Heart. ----------- "Whoa! And she got knocked down at the 100 yard mile!" Mike calls out as Pinkie got thrown off the Gila monster. "You would smell if you look like me!" Crow exclaims with a mocky blow, mocking the monster. "Eeeeew!" Pinkie exclaims as she saw the remains of Fu Manchu on the ground. "Looks like someone threw him out the window." "Typical. He started out as a dramatic serious villain to the ponies and their friends, and got turned into a joke that is hated by everyone at the end." Joel said, sighing at Fu Manchu. "It's like a certain one-eyed former uncle of the princesses in another timeline." "Mike...Fu Manchu was always hated." Crow reminds Joel bitterly. "Yeah, but still! One would've at least missed the good parts about him. I mean, if the princesses have memories but turned against him from out of the blue..." "Can we get back to the fighting please?!" Fluttershy screams as the Giant Gila Monster snaps at her. "Oh my goodness!" "We need an explosion to take him out!" Mike exclaims. He yelps as the monster roars at him. "Or a huge breath mint." "Well, I don't know about a breath mint, but would a Crystal Heart do?" Spike ask his friends, grinning as he points upward. Soon there's a flying Cadance and Twilight, all transformed into their Crystal Pony selves with the Crystal Heart floating. Soon the Crystal Ponies, imprisoned or the whatnot, became empowered by its glow. "Citizens, time to wipe this monster out of our city for good!" Cadance exclaims to her citizens who cheers wildly. The rest of the Mane Six smiles as their bodies turned crystal like the others as well. "Coooool!" The robots exclaims in amusement. Soon a huge blast came from everyone as it is send right at the Giant Gila Monster who roars in pain as it explodes, destroying the thing. Fu Manchu's guards yelp as they got smacked, sending them flying into the air. "MORONS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" The minions scream as they are send flying until they disappear with a twinkle. When all is clear, everyone cheers on. Gypsy whistles, "Wow; that was impressive." "Yeah....wait, isn't Shining Armor supposed to be in this chapter?" Joel ask, remembering that Shining Armor is missing. ------------------------------------------------------------- "Thanks, by the way." Shining rolled his eyes as Princess Cadance and Twiight found his cell and freed him. "Sorry, Shining." Cadance sighed. "Guess we kind of forgot about you." Shining sighed. "Oh well, no matter now." Joel smiled. "Well, everybody's all here now." "Uh, aren't we forgetting Tricia?" Pinkie noted. "...Well, everybody's all here now." Joel said as he, Mike and the bots turned towards Shining and Cadance, not batting an eye towards the mention of Tricia Leonard. "Thanks again for helping us." Cadance smiled. "I don't know HOW we helped, but... okay, yeah, don't mention it." Crow sighed. All of a sudden, Cambot started to act strange again as everybody turned. Once again, the images of the Mads were shown. "So, I see your little side quest went down good, hmm?" Dr. Forrester smiled. "Well, hate to break the bad news to you, BUT..." Pearl smirked. "While you were all busy fighting, we just found the first Element! We're leaving Professor Bobo to guard it!" "That's me!" Bobo smiled. Twilight blinked. "Why can't you just take it with you?" The Mads laughed as Dr. Forrester said, "Take it with us? What kind of idiots do you think we are? No, we're just going to leave the monkey behind to guard it." "It's not that hard to locate... though that scary dog and that weird guy with that cloak of hands may be a mystery..." Bobo paused. "Scary dog? Weird man with cloak of han-" Joel yelped. "Oh God..." Crow groaned. "Not..." Tom yelped in fear. Tom and Crow cried as Tom sniffled, "We're never going to make it! This is a bug hunt, man, a bug hunt!" "Game over, man, game over!" Crow cried. "What's wrong?" Twilight asked. "Oh, you'll find out eventually. But just know you'll never reach the element in time! Since we're leaving Bobo behind to guard and/or find the Element of Loyalty, we'll be on our way to get the next element... Generosity, I assume!" Pearl laughed. Rarity glared. "My element..." "Ta for now..." Pearl said. "Until we talk again... push the button, Frank." Dr. Forrester ordered. "All right." Frank nodded as he pushed the button, hanging it up. By the time Cambot resumed back to normal, Rainbow sighed. "Care to fill us in?" "It's a long story..." Joel sighed. "Let's just say... the guys that we're just described came from one of the worst movies we've seen." "YOU'RE DEAD, YOU LITTLE F**KERS!" Tricia was heard yelling. "We'll explain on the way out of the Crystal Empire! Let's go!" Joel yelped as he, Mike and the bots started running. Twilight and the other ponies, along with Spike, followed suit. A few moments later, Tricia Leonard came running past a confused Princess Cadance and Shining, screaming, "COME BACK HERE SO I CAN STRANGLE YOUR FUCKING NECKS!" Cadance sighed. "Guess we're never going to be in the know on this, huh, Shining?" Shining just shrugged. ----------------------------------------------------------- Death Valley Daze...the driver is either dead or he's missing. Ahem! Sorry, a reference there. Seriously, the location of the Loyalty element appears to be in the middle of nowhere...except at some sort of house that seems to be abandoned, with no one around...except for a mysterious familiar man who staggers out, looking out into the distance. "HuH, tHe MaSter WaS preTTy uPSet wHeN TheY tresPaSSed Earlier." Torgo mumbles, preferring to Pearl's group from before. "He WoN't Be plEAsed If IT haPPens AgaIN. HiS wivES ArE becomINg eVeN To Me." Torgo groans as he heads back into the house. The Master almost killed him for allowing those intruders...and letting that monkey around. At least he gets to see his old pal Frank again. Torgo can only hope no more intruders show up. The Master wouldn't like it, indeed.