//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 // Story: The Sisterhooves Anti-Social // by kudzuhaiku //------------------------------// Sugarcube Corner. The place to be in Ponyville. Not only did the Cakes produce magnificent treats, but the resident party planning pony, Pinkie Pie, did her part to make certain that each customer felt extra special before, during, and after their purchase. Ponies did not just go to Sugarcube Corner to buy treats. No, ponies went to Sugarcube Corner for the experience. Sometimes, a pony needed to smile. Or a pony felt lonesome. Or a pony was having a good day and just wanted somepony else to celebrate with them. The princesses had entered without incident and it wasn’t until they had removed their hats and sunglasses that they were noticed. Pinkie Pie appeared as if by magic, exploding into existence with a poof of confetti. “Hi! Oooo! It isn’t everyday we get princesses in Sugarcube Corner! Ooh ooh ooh! Hello, it is so nice to see you! What can I get for you today?” Pinkie Pie asked with all of her usual over-enthusiasm. From a back room, the sound of two foals wailing could be heard. “One vanilla spice cupcake and—” “One blueberry cobbler muffin,” Luna said, cutting her sister off. “No cupcake?” Celestia asked. “No cupcake!” Pinkie Pie repeated. “I am the thin, dainty sister. It requires sacrifices to remain that way,” Luna said as she gave a pointed look to her sister. “All that buttercreme frosting is empty calories.” Her eyes narrowing into slits, Pinkie Pie leaned forward towards Luna. “Buttercreme frosting is the essence of happiness.” The dark cloud that was Pinkie Pie’s face parted and allowed the sun to come out. A smile spread over her muzzle and one ear twitched. “But if muffins make you happy, I can bring you muffins!” And with that, Pinkie Pie went pronking off. “Is it just me, or does Pinkie Pie have… mood swings?” Princess Luna glanced at her sister and one eyebrow arched. “Those poor dears, they won’t stop crying. I wonder what is wrong,” Princess Celestia said as she raised her head high and peered off in the direction of the sounds of sobbing. “Foals cry sister, it is what they do.” Luna began to look around Sugarcube Corner. It was a cozy space and a lot of love had been rubbed into the wood, which was polished to the point where it almost glowed. The glass display was spotless. The brass trim on the counters gleamed with a mirrored finish. There was a whoosh and a pink blur. Like a pink wind, Pinkie Pie went blowing past, and in her wake, she left behind two plates. On the first plate there were two cupcakes, and on the second plate, there was a lone muffin. The pink blur vanished through the swinging double doors and into the back room. “Ooh… pinchy knee,” Pinkie Pie said from the back room. Her ears perking, Princess Celestia did not manage to make out what Pinkie was saying. Figuring that eavesdropping was a bad habit to begin with, Celestia got down to the business of eating her cupcakes. She peeled off the paper from them, licked her lips, and then took a dainty nibble from one. “Pinchy knee getting worse…” The blueberry cobbler muffin was a work of edible artistry. The blueberry density was almost scientifically perfect, and the crumbly cap was just the right amount of moist crumble. Brown sugar and cinnamon lurked within the heart of each crumble, and Princess Luna found that crunching them between her teeth would release their sweetness. “Pinchy knee… bad case of the shudders… a doozy is coming!” “A what is coming?” Princess Celestia asked after she swallowed. She looked at Luna, hoping for some explanation as to what was going on. Princess Luna shrugged. “I have no idea what is about to happen.” And then, as Princess Celestia was eating her second cupcake, it happened. There was a moan of worry and fear from Pinkie Pie that came floating out of the back room. Mrs. Cake let out a worried squeal. Mr. Cake whinnied with concern. The two sisters were ill prepared for what happened next. “Oh they exploded!” Pinkie Pie cried and then let out a gagging giggle-snort. “That explains the pinchy knee!” A ruinous reek crept out of the back room and into the front room. Everywhere it crept, ponies went wide eyed as the funk forced its way into their nostrils and had its way with them. Mares squeaked and squealed in terror. Stallions nickered and took off running. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna valiantly attempted to maintain their princessly decorum and pretended as though nothing was wrong. Unable to stop herself, Luna sniffed. Her ears perked upwards and she gritted her teeth as she stuck her resolve to the sticking place. “Diaper overflow! We have containment failure! Quick honeybun, open a window!” “It’s still coming! Save me Mister Cake!” Princess Celestia looked at her sister, her eyes watering, and said, “Discretion is the better part of valour!” Five golden bits winked into existence and landed upon the table. And then, in a blur of motion, Celestia was gone, leaving behind one perfect white alicorn feather that floated down in a graceful motion that resembled a snowflake. Princess Luna, who realised there would be no running away from this, winked and was gone in a flash of silver light, the remains of her muffin disappearing with her. Now wearing her floppy hat and sunglasses once more, Princess Celestia bit her lip and looked around. The day was turning into quite an adventure. Nothing had smelled that bad since she and Luna had battled the stink demon Bloograth the Nostril Violator one thousand years ago. Thinking of it reminded Celestia that the one thousand year seal on the stink demon was probably wearing off by now, and for a brief moment, Princess Celestia felt a moment of pity when she realised that Twilight Sparkle was going to have to clean up another one thousand year old mess. Bloograth’s return was prophesied by the great pony mystic, Nostrildamus. Twilight Sparkle would find a way, and if she couldn’t, her friends would help her. “Well, this day has been adventurous. Shall we see what calamity awaits us when we visit Rarity?” Luna asked in a low voice as she kept an eye on the crowd. “Today has been an adventure worth having,” Celestia replied as she looked at her sister. “Come, let us face this danger together.” The door opened but no smiling face appeared. There was a cough and a sniffle from the behind the door. “I am dreadfully sorry, but I am closed. -aaachoo!- Hay fever! I must beg your forgiveness!” Celestia looked over at her sister Luna, and saw Luna give a nod. Celestia nodded back. Being a very large and very solid pony, Celestia pushed against the door and let herself in, feeling a bit of concern for one of her little ponies. Rarity’s nose was red and swollen, the skin chapped from too many tissues. Her eyes were bloodshot. Snot was encrusted around her nostrils. And when she saw Celestia and Luna, she shrieked, “I’m hideous!” at the top of her lungs. Lifting Rarity up in her magic, Celestia flooded the mare’s body with sunny warmth. She sat Rarity on the sofa while Luna disappeared into the kitchen. With a flash of her horn, Celestia conjured up a blanket and wrapped it around Rarity, who kicked and protested that she was too ugly to be seen. There was a pop as a warm wet cloth was conjured and Celestia began wiping Rarity’s face. Celestia ignored Rarity’s kicking hooves and murmurs of protest. One alabaster mare comforted the other. “You poor dear, you look miserable,” Celestia said in a soothing voice to Rarity. Sniffling, Rarity looked up at Celestia with a watery quavering smile. Celestia gave Rarity a gentle pat when the unicorn sneezed once more and then said to Rarity, “We were in the neighborhood and we thought we would drop in for a visit. We had no idea you had hay fever.” “I do all I can to keep it a secret. Some days, I can’t hide the symptoms.” Rarity’s eyes watered as she looked up at Celestia, who was sitting on the couch beside her. Princess Luna emerged from the kitchen with a tray loaded with steaming cups. The strong scent of peppermint filled the air of Carousel Boutique. Luna set the tray down upon a table near the sofa where Celestia and Rarity were sitting and then passed a hot cup of tea to Rarity. “Tell nopony,” Luna commanded. “We do not want word getting out that we princesses visit sick ponies and fix them tea. Everypony would get sick and there would be anarchy.” “Oh, of course,” Rarity replied. “Thank you so much… I don’t know what to say.” “Hello Twilight Sparkle. You are looking well.” “Princess Celestia!” Twilight Sparkle bounced in place. “Princess Luna! How are you both! Why are you in my library?” “We thought we would pay you a visit,” Luna replied. “Well… I was just teaching Sweetie Belle a lesson about magic. You are more than welcome to stay. Please, make yourselves at home.” Twilight Sparkle looked up at her mentor with unabashed adoration. “Wonderful… how are you Sweetie Belle?” Luna asked. “I’m fine, thank you for asking.” Sweetie Belle gave the princesses a self conscious grin and then looked at Twilight Sparkle. “Nothing like a little pressure… heh heh heh.” “I am certain you will do fine. You have a wonderful teacher and I know Twilight Sparkle would seek out capable students.” Princess Celestia smiled at her former student and then at Sweetie Belle. Both Sweetie Belle and Twilight Sparkle blushed and looked away from Princess Celestia. More nervous laughter bubbled out of Sweetie Belle and the foal tapped her hoof on the floor. There was a moment of awkward silence and then, Sweetie Belle sniffed. She sniffed again. And then, as her eyes went wide and her muzzle crinkled, she backed away from the three princesses. “Oh come on! You’re princesses! Princesses don’t fart!” Sweetie Belle cried as she retreated. She shuddered with revulsion and then gave an accusatory glance at the three princesses in the library. Gagging in disgust, the unicorn filly ran out of the library. “Well sister, I guess the contest is over,” Luna said in a low voice as she looked at Celestia. “I shall go and have a talk with Sweetie Belle.” “Contest?” Twilight Sparkle asked. One nostril flared and the corner of her eye twitched. “A contest between us sisters. I shall explain while Luna attends to Sweetie Belle,” Celestia replied. “Goodbye sister, have fun!” “Oh, I shall,” Luna replied as she departed out of the library door. Princess Luna landed on the balcony of a small clubhouse nestled in a tree. She folded in her wings, making certain each feather was tucked away just so, she put on her most princessly smile, and then knocked upon the door. It opened, and Sweetie Belle poked her head out. “Hello Sweetie Belle. Might I come in?” Princess Luna asked. “That depends… are you here to gas us?” Sweetie Belle replied. “No.” Luna’s smile became a bit more mischievous than princessly. “I came to commend you for your bravery. My sister, Celestia, and I, we were playing a bit of a prank on ponies to see what we could get away with. And nopony had the courage to call us out on our uncouth behaviour.” “I forget… what does uncouth mean again?” Apple Bloom asked. Sucking in air, Scootaloo opened up her mouth and belched out the entire alphabet. “Oh… that’s right. Uncouth!” Apple Bloom grinned up at the stunned looking Princess Luna. Recovering her composure, Luna blinked a few times and then looked down at Sweetie Belle. “Anyway, you are the first pony in over a thousand years to have the courage to call us out on our terrible behaviour. For this, you get one Royal Favour. Details about what this is will be mailed to you. You are a brave little filly. I apologise for disrupting your lessons with Twilight Sparkle.” “Well, thank you, I suppose.” Sweetie Belle looked a little confused. “Would you like to come inside? We have cookies.” “That would be lovely,” Luna replied. “Well sister, I had a wonderful time with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I see great promise in them.” Luna looked at Celestia and grinned. “And I must congratulate you on your stunning victory. You wasted no time, you walked into the library and proved your superiourity.” “Luna, sister, I thought that you were the one that fumigated the library… this entire time while you were away I was left feeling humbled by the ferocity of your trumpeting triumph.” Celestia looked very confused. “Sister, I thought it was you… does this mean…” Luna’s mouth fell open. “Twilight Sparkle!” both sisters said together, their eyes wide with shock.