Equestria's Crazies

by Thorax


Micro Episode - Not Dead

Chrysalis continued to stare at her bedroom ceiling it had been several hours since she had climbed into her bed and attempted in vain to sleep. So far the Changeling Queen had not found any form of peaceful sleep as she spent the majority of the night tossing and turning in vague hopes of finding some magical position that would allow her to drift off.

"Pssst" Chysalis hissed as she rolled over to face Sombra "Are you awake?" after several seconds of silence the Changeling Queen came to the conclusion that Sombra was in fact asleep, for a brief comment she thought about checking to see if Nibbles was awake but only for a moment she was tired and bored, not stupid.

With a reluctant groan Chrysalis forced herself out of her bed, if she wasn't getting any sleep she might as well go see what trouble she could get into she thought to herself. Silently she crept through the room until she made it to the door where she careful pushed it open and escaped into the hall.

"Oh good, at least everyone else is getting some well-deserved sleep." Chrysalis sarcastically spoke aloud to herself as she stared at her two Royal Changeling guards who had apparently both passed out during their shift. "Keep up the good work soldiers" she muttered as she saluted the sleeping Changelings before walking off.

"First off Throne room" she spoke to herself as she navigated the halls "At the very least I can bug the night guard, they're always so uptight." she giggled and quickly stopped herself as she noticed two of the castle servants glaring at her. The Queen quickly shifted her gaze from the two ponies and picked up her pace. Surely they would go and rat her out to Celestia.

After a couple minutes of walking through the Castle halls Chrysalis was greeted with the rather odd sight of a large crowd. Slowly she made her way through the group.

"Excuse me, coming through" She muttered as she lightly pushed her way through the crowd "Changeling Queen, coming through!" eventually she made it to through the crowd to see what the commotion was all about.

"I sentence you to death." Nightmare stated as she stared down at earth pony.

"Ignore her." Luna quickly spoke as she glared at the other Alicorn before shifting her gaze to the rather bewildered looking earth pony. "She's an idiot and we'll have some of the royal guards dispatched to your fields to remove the Diamond Dogs from your land."

"Thank you Princess" the earth pony spoke as he bowed and quickly made his way out of the Chamber.

"Nightmare you can't sentence anyone to death." Luna hissed as she noticed Chrysalis approaching the throne from the corner of her eye.

"What are you two doi-" The Changeling Queen was quickly cut off by Nightmare Moon.

"I sentence you to death!"

"She can't actually do that." Luna added

"Fine" Chrysalis shrugged "I declare you an enemy of the Changeling Empire"

"She can't do that can she?" Nightmare whispered to Luna with a tinge of worry in her voice

"She's the Changeling Queen she can declare whatever she wants regarding her empire." Luna smirked her response causing Nightmare to quickly shift her gaze around the room in an attempt to find an escape route.

"Watch me swooce right out of here" Nightmare stated as she quickly bolt from the throne and passed the crowd. Leaving the entire room in a state of awkward silence as the echoed hoofsteps of Nightmare faded away.

"I apologize for that little interruption." Luna began as she rose from her throne. "I would ask that we take a twenty minute break from the night court so that I may take care of some minor personal matters. Feel free to visit the royal gardens or gossip about Nightmare Moon's and Discord's possible romantic involvement."

There were several large gasps as if some reality shattering revelation had been revealed as the majority of the ponies filed out of the room.

"Well that was a thing." Chrysalis spoke some satisfaction knowing that she still out ranked both Nightmare and Discord "Now as I was saying. What's happening with this?" Chrysalis continued as she pointed towards the rather small group of remaining ponies causing some of the more fearful ponies to flinch.

"Monthly night court" Luna began "Back before I had my little vacation I used to do all my royal duties during the evening. However since my return to Equestria I've done most of them with Celestia or alone just before the raising of the moon, but every once in a while I hold one during the night simply because I can."

"And Nightmare?" The Changeling asked with a raised brow.

"She as ordered the death of the entire population of Canterlot.... Twice. I mostly keep her around to keep the crowds from getting restless. If any of our guests get a little too aggressive with each other they usually stop quite quickly when Nightmare stands up."

"So has she actually had anyone executed?"

"Discord" Luna answered flatly "Sentenced him to death and then shot him on a related note did you know Celestia keeps a gun behind her throne?"

"What?" The Changeling asked in confusion

"Yeah, it was gift from Gryphon ambassador a couple years ago she keeps it behind the throne." Luna finished as she levitated the rifle from behind the throne instantly causing a panic among the remaining ponies as they quickly fled from the Throne room.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about them." The rather embarrassed Alicorn spoke as she lowered the gun back behind the throne. "Either way, I feel my sister has a couple issues."

"You think?" Chrysalis laughed as she climbed onto the second empty throne. "She let a possibly insane God of Chaos, the "Evil" half of her sister and the Changeling Queen that invaded her kingdom stay in the Castle. Oh and I'd like to point out literally all of us have tried to overthrow her. In all fairness, I think one gun isn't that bad."

Luna remained silent as she slammed her hoof down on the thrones arm rest and after a second there was clicking sound as small hidden slot opened revealing what appeared to be a dagger the hilt marked with Celestia's cutie mark.

"Well that's not that bad." Chrysalis shrugged

"You don't understand, she has hundreds of weapons stashed around the Castle."

"Everyone needs a hobby?" The Changeling Queen stated not too sure of what she was saying.

"You don't understand Chrysalis, I opened a box of cereal and a hand grenade fell out, we don't even have hands!"

"In her defense with the amount of stuff that happens around here I don't think she's overreacting too much. I mean you do have an assassin that shows up once every few weeks to try and murder you. Then you pay him if he succeeds, which by the way you owe me like four hundred bits. Not to mention the times you and Celestia have had your stand offs."

"That happened once" Luna scoffed

"You cleaved each other’s heads off in a sword fight."

"It was an honorable duel." Luna defended

"WE HAD GUESTS!" Chrysalis shouted "You killed each other in the dining room in a duel. You left Nightmare, Discord and I alone with them."

"It was the Ponyville Mayor and she wanted to discuss taxes so we took the tax free way out! Just like this." Luna finished as she teleported away leaving Chrysalis completely alone in the throne room.

"Gods this place is weird." Chrysalis said with a yawn as she stretched out across the throne her back hooves dangling from the side as she finally began to drift off into peaceful sleep.


With a flash of light Luna appeared inside her private chambers. With a yawn she realized how tired she really had become over the course of the evening. Before Chrysalis had arrived she'd spent several hours listening to the problems facing the local ponies.

There were two members of the Cloudsdale Cloud Factory that had showed up to file a complaint against the bearer of the Element of Loyalty who had apparently hijacked several clouds for an unspecified reason. Then there was a farmer who had a group of Diamond Dogs digging up his fields in search of gems and not to mention dealing with the constantly execution threats from Nightmare.

Luna yawned as she climbed into her bed and closed her eyes.

"Did Chrysalis follow you." came a semi muffled from beneath the bed voice eliciting a sigh from Luna

"No Nightmare, I don't think she even declared you an enemy to her Changelings."

"You don't know that, she's got that weird Hive mind going on. She can assume direct control of a drone whenever she wants."

"Actually" Luna began with a laugh "I think her Hive Mind might still be in Spanish so at the very least either the effects of that spell wears off or she learns Spanish herself."

"Can I stay here tonight anyways?" Nightmare asked a slight hint of pleading in her voice.

"Sure Moonbutt" Luna sighed as she rolled over in her bed and drifted off to sleep.