//------------------------------//
// 10. My Choice 
// Story: Three of Hearts 
// by Anzel 
//------------------------------//

	Thursday night already. Soarin was sitting across from me looking rather pensive. “So, what do you think?”

I swallowed. “They’re probably the best raw vegetables I’ve ever had? You continue to be a food genius? I’m both swooned and excited by your knowledge?”

He laughed. “Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure you were having a good time. I realize this isn’t the same as traveling with the Wonderbolts.”

It took effort not to frown. With a cheerful tone I replied, “And you know that doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m dating Soarin the stud pony. Not Soarin the Wonderbolt. If you quit tomorrow I’d be fine with it. As long as you keep working out.”

“Oh I see! Is it all about my physical appearance? Is that all mares care about?”

“Without a doubt! Stallions are meant to sit still, look handsome, and treat mares with the respect and dignity they deserve. That is why all alicorns are mares and most nobles are, too. We’re the top of society!” 

Soarin gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “I seem to recall a little mare that much prefers to be on bottom.”

I sputtered and fumbled my squash roll. “That is different!”

The stallion laughed and winked at me. Then his expression got serious. “Listen, Azurite, I wanted to talk about tomorrow. I feel like you sh—”

Holding up my hooves I replied, “Honestly, Soarin, it is fine. You’ve got ponies to see, places to go, and a busy career. I don’t mind. I’m happy with what we have. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

He sat quietly a moment and then shrugged. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I am! Now, pick more things to feed me!”


♥♥♥


Friday didn’t have the same allure as it usually did, at least not when I didn’t have a date. Sunny had one of course and Soarin was off doing some sort of Wonderbolt thing. It was time for me to do my chores and get my apartment spruced up. I’d been neglecting it a bit and my fish had lectured me when I got in late the night before.

I picked up my courier bag and trotted off on my rounds. When I reached Lieutenant Brook’s office he motioned me in.

“Azurite, do you know what time of year it is?” he asked.

“Evaluation time?” 

The lieutenant smiled. “You know your job quite well. Will you be able to assist me with that and help out the PLHG with their pony processing?”

“Without a doubt, sir. Any word on that officemate?”

He shook his head. “Believe it or not there isn’t another warrant officer in the palace without an officemate. I’ll keep searching, though.”

“Thank you, sir. Have a good evening.”

“You, too!” he chimed as I went on with my duties.

After distributing all of the remaining missives I wandered into Sunny’s office. “Oh, excuse me,” I said politely.

Soarin was sitting across from Sunny. It looked very military. They were both in uniform so I kept it strictly business.

“Six missives today, lieutenant. You’re popular.”

Her response was a slight groan. “Thank you, Azurite. Any chance you could tell them I’ve moved?”

“I’ll do my best, ma’am!” Then I smiled at Soarin. “Good day, vice commander.”

“Good day,” he replied before looking back to Sunny. “So… the show was a hit. I know the princess will be thrilled to see it. Spitfire is still under the impression that she wants us to perform at the delegate meeting. Is that still on?”

They were talking business and I didn’t feel like waiting it out, nor did I want to figure out how to navigate where to put my affection. After a polite salute I headed out.

I heard Sunny say, “Yes. The princess has been talking about it for a month.”

It was kind of weird to think I’d seen the new show before the princess but I guess she didn’t want to go to Manehatten just for that. Plus it wasn’t just for her: it was for all the delegates in Equestria.

I bet that was going to be a security nightmare. It was days like today that made me glad I was in pony relations.


♥♥♥


When you get into a groove time seems to move quicker. I had been in a serious groove. A few months ago I could hardly stand to wait an hour before a date with Sunny or Soarin. That isn’t to say I don’t get super excited still but I’m more patient. Waiting a day or even a week wasn’t a problem anymore. I guess eventually the ‘new wagon smell’ wears off.

Things had been going very well for me. A date with Sunny, then a date with Soarin, then she’d have a date and he’d be off doing some show. Then it would all repeat again. Lieutenant Brook had given me a very positive review and it looked like I might even make senior warrant officer next year. It felt really good to get rewarded for doing something I liked.

My nerves were also doing better. I went to see Sandy every single week and we were starting to be friends again. We did stuff, too: plays, games, and the likes. She was showing me that being injured wasn’t impacting her life like I had imagined. Sandy lived well. She’d even met a stallion last month. To help that along I’d given her all my tips… which only took about three minutes. All in all I was extremely happy.

“Azu, hello?” Sunny said, waving a hoof in front of my eyes.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you were having fun.” 

A small faire had come to Canterlot and Sunny had insisted we go there on our date. We spent a lot of time avoiding crowds but we had managed to ride the ferris wheel, the carousel, and the tea cups. Now we were sitting and eating funnel cake. I lust for funnel cake.

I smiled at her and replied, “I’m really happy.”

Sunny blinked. “Oh? Then you are having fun.”

“Yes, with the faire, sure… but Sunny, I’m really happy.”

The mare smiled and folded her hooves on the table. “I’m glad. Is there a particular reason?”

Settling my hooves on hers I shrugged. “My panic attacks are getting a little better, I get to date you, and my life is really together. I don’t know. I’m just grateful. Does that make sense?”

There was a nod of agreement and then she asked pointedly, “Are you thinking about getting serious?”

That was a turn I had not expected. “I, um. Are things not serious?”

Sunny giggled. “We’ve never talked about being serious. You seem comfortable with me seeing other ponies and you’re seeing Soarin, too. I’m not complaining, but you and I are very different ponies. You’ve always struck me as the mare that is going to want a commitment at some point.”

Okay, seriously, not how I saw this date going. Inner Azurite was now involved and considering the situation. “Oh, that is fair. Are you the kind of pony that could commit? Commit to a little mare like me?”

“Well, I’ll be honest, planning for that sort of thing hasn’t been for me. My belief has always been that my love line would lead me to the pony I’m meant to be with. You and I started going out and the number of ponies I’ve been seeing has been dramatically reduced. That is kind of a commitment so… yes. I think I could commit. If you chose me.”

Me choose? That was just silly. I’d been waiting for Soarin or Sunny to ask me. After all, I’m a wing pony. “What do you mean me choose?”

Sunny’s head tilted. “What do YOU mean?”

“Wouldn’t you or Soarin decide whether or not to pick me?”

“Well… I’m going to ignore how strange that is to hear from you and rephrase. Let’s assume that Soarin and I both propose to you at the same time. Doesn’t that mean you have to choose?”

I let her hooves go. Why did she have to be right? “I have to choose?”

“Yes, sugar. You’re the only one holding the process up.”

Great. I had been so happy just minutes before. With a grumble I asked, “Do I have to choose tonight?”

Sunny laughed and shook her head. “No, come on. Let’s go have some fun.”


♥♥♥


Dinner was going awkwardly. I’d been up in my head fighting with inner Azurite for a week straight. 

“Are you alright, Azurite?” Soarin asked me between bites of pie. Of all things he liked pie the best.

“Yes, I’m sorry. Sunny Day got up in my head. I can’t shake it.”

Soarin looked at me curiously, his expression getting serious. “Honestly, she’s up there while we’re on a date?”

Quickly I waved my hooves in front of me. “Not like that! She told me last week that everypony was waiting on me to choose and that I shouldn’t be waiting to be chosen.”

“Oh, that is different then.” He nodded. “And yes, she is right.”

With a squeak I asked, “You, too?”

He shrugged, “Listen, I like you. I like you a lot. We have a lot of fun and I think we’re good together. You never talk much about going exclusive, you still see her, and when we do our thing you don’t complain. It isn’t bad. It works for my life… but if you were sitting there waiting, I have to agree with her. It is on you.”

“So you’re saying you could commit to me?” I asked rather pointedly. Stallions are terrified of commitment. Maybe I could shift it back to him.

“Absolutely!”

Soarin, I will smother you with a pillow! “Oh. Yay.”

“You don’t seem pleased. Have I gotten us wrong?”

“No! I’m sorry. You have us right. I really like you. I just hate the idea that everypony seems to be waiting on me. My whole life has been designed around not being that pony.”

Soarin shrugged. “Don’t sweat it, Azurite. I’m not going anywhere. If you’re not ready you’re not ready. We can all keep this up. No pony’s feelings have been hurt yet.”

Softly I sighed. “Okay… but if yours are you have to tell me. If for one second you think I’m just playing with your heart I’ll die.”

“I don’t think that at all. Come on, sooner or later it will come to you. For now, why don’t we just have a good time?”


♥♥♥


Everypony was counting on me to make a decision. It had been months and it was time to act like an adult. Was it Sunny or was it Soarin? One of them deserved to be allowed to move on. I could do this and, thankfully, neither of them were around this weekend for me to see. It gave me time to consider what was best.

Lists were all over my apartment. Soarin’s pros and cons. Sunny’s pros and cons. Data points on how much fun I had on dates. Graphs on compatibility. Quiz after quiz out of Mares Monthly. There had to be a logical answer. 

Silly Azurite, looking for logic when it comes to the heart. After completing another useless Mares Monthly quiz I tossed the magazine on the floor. It fell open to a picture of a ridiculously pink pegasus mare. Four different shades of pink to be specific. It certainly got my attention.

“Can’t see your love line? Is your path to romance unclear? Let Lovey Dovey help you! Lovey has made over 1,000 successful matches with a 100% record of success. Drop in for an appointment today!”

“How ridiculous…” Something on the page caught my eye. Love line. Wasn’t Sunny always talking about that? “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to her.”

The address was in Canterlot. Tomorrow I’d go see Lovey Dovey and see if she could help me with my love line!


♥♥♥


Lovey Dovey was, evidently, a big deal. She was renting a temporary office in Canterlot and I had waited until after lunch to go over. That was a huge mistake. The line of ponies stretched out of the building and down the block. I didn’t have anywhere else to be, though, so I waited it out. Ponies in straight lines aren’t scary and you can just gallop off if you need to.

Well after sundown I found myself sitting on a pink pillow looking across a pink coffee table at a pink pegasus with what had to be a million hearts on her flanks.

“What can I do for you?” she asked in a sugary sweet voice.

“You see, Miss Dovey, I’m in a bit of a bind. I’m dating two different ponies.”

The pegasus bounced on her pillow and nodded. “You can call me Lovey.”

“Right. So I’m dating two different ponies.”

“Okay.”

“And I want to get serious.”

“Okay.”

“And… and I’m dating two ponies and I want to get serious?”

“Right. Go on?”

Was she some kind of loon? “I really like them both. My heart can’t make up its mind on which one I should be with.”

Lovey Dovey looked at me like I was crazy. She looked at ME like I was the crazy one of the two of us.

“Mostly I help ponies that don’t know where their love line ends,” she said finally.

“But I don’t know where mine ends. There are two ponies.”

“Right!”

“Right? I know I don’t know!” I said a little louder than I intended. “What should I do?”

The pegasus shook her head. “What should you do about what?”

“My love line!”

“Everything looks fine to me!”

Deep breaths, Azurite. She’s bigger than you… tackling her wouldn’t solve the problem. Slowly I rose and nodded. “Okay, thank you.”

“You’re welcome! Have fun!”

Quickly I left the crazy mare’s office. There was no help there. All the way across town for nothing. The Mare Contraire wasn’t too far away and I headed over there. It was still somewhat early for a Saturday night.

Dolly waved at me when I arrived. There weren’t too many ponies in the place but I made a note to keep an eye on them. Crowds were still too much for me to handle. After I climbed onto a stool the not-as-insanely-pink bartender came over.

“You look sour tonight, Azurite. What can I get you?”

“The usual. I’m in a mood,” I replied.

My usual was a concoction of crushed ice, strawberries, and the tiniest amount of liquor. Dolly set it in front of me and asked, “Why is that?”

Ponies normally come to bartenders for advice, right? I laid it all out for Dolly. She listened and nodded. It took me two cocktails to finally get to the end. “So… Evidently I’m supposed to pick.” 

“That is pretty tough for a wing pony. Of course, you could be in a worse situation, right? You have two very good options.”

Draining the second cocktail I tapped my hoof on the counter. “You’re right but I’d prefer it if I had a good option and a bad one. I don’t want to upset either of them.”

“Well, Azurite, it sounds to me like they’re both being really adult about it. It may not be what they want to hear but it seems like either would accept being cut loose. Sunny would probably take it pretty easy. I wasn’t sure that pony would ever settle down. Don’t tell her I said that, though.”

“I won’t,” I promised as I drank cocktail number three. The crowd was starting to build and it was time to escape. “Thanks, Dolly. That is at least something to think about. Have a good night.”

“You too, Azurite. Be careful going home.”

Careful. Careful was my middle name! Which didn’t make any sense because I didn’t have a last name. Azurite Careful no last name. “You bet, Dolly!”

When I got outside there were a lot of ponies on the streets. That tended to happen on Saturday nights. The later it got the more ponies there were and it was pretty late. My coat hair started standing on end and the warm feeling of the drinks couldn’t calm me. Actually, it was making me more paranoid. 

Were those ponies looking at me? Were they staring? Quickly I started trotting away from the pockets of ponies. That was hard to do though. This part of town had a lot of clubs and bars.

Azurite, you’re fine. They’re not looking at you. They’re not coming for you. It isn’t the same. Carefully I wound my way through the crowd in the direction I thought was home. It was tough to see given my height and the over indulgence in alcohol. My hooves swayed and I bumped into a stallion.

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” he yelled at me. Too loud.

I backed up into another pony. “Watch it!” she sneered.

They were all around me! My heart started beating quickly and I galloped off without so much as an apology. Time to get away. Need to hide. Need to get home.

Just after I shot past Sunny’s building I slid to a stop. Good place to hide. Doubling back I hurried up to her door and unlocked it with the spell she had taught me. The room was a blur through the tears and sweat on my face. Slam the door. Lock the door. Keep them out.

My breaths were coming quickly. I went into the kitchen and hid under the table. Safe here. The lights came on. No! The door was locked. It had to be my imagination. Hoofsteps came closer. Weary hoofsteps. They were going to ambush me. I pressed my back against the center support that held the table up. Maybe they wouldn’t see me.

Sunny’s head appeared under the tablecloth with me. “Azurite! Oh Celestia, what's happened?” She shoved her way under the table and wrapped me in her hooves. “You’re safe. You’re safe, honey. What happened?”

I nuzzled into her neck. Why was I always having my panics around Sunny? It was a miracle she liked me at all. Through the alcohol and anxiety I rambled what had happened. At least I thought I did.

“Is she okay? Do I need to get an ambulance?” The voice was familiar. Masculine and full of concern.

“She’ll calm down. She always does. It is a panic disorder. An ambulance won’t be necessary.”

Who was she talking to? Oh no! Sunny’s date. “I’m ruining your date!” I gasped and tried to scramble out of her hooves.

Sunny held onto me tightly. “Forget about that. Azu, you can’t go out there like this, you’ll get hurt. Now we can get out from under the table if you like but I’m not letting you out of this condo. Okay?”

“Okay.” The shaking wasn’t as bad. Stupid Azurite. You can’t even handle walking home. Now you’re no better than Trixie. Barging in on other ponies’ dates. “Okay. Maybe we shouldn’t stay under the table.”

“Alright,” Sunny said softly before letting me go and crawling out. She lifted the table cloth for me and I followed. My sight was fixed on the pairs of light blue hooves waiting for us. How awkward was this going to be?

Slowly my eyes followed the hooves up. Oh Celestia… “Soarin?” I squeaked and then started to turn.

“She’s going back under!” Sunny exclaimed before looping her forelegs around my middle and catching me. My hooves scrambled in the air until it became clear that I wasn’t going anywhere.

Soarin didn’t look guilty. He looked concerned and worried. Shouldn’t he look guilty? I’d caught them. They were dating behind my back. They were… How could I be so stupid? Sunny had flat out said it. ‘... and you’re seeing Soarin, too.’ Oh Celestia they’d both said it. ‘...when we do our thing.’ I sniffled and the tears started.

“This is why I didn’t think this was a good idea,” Soarin said.

“She seemed okay with it,” Sunny admitted as she held me against her. 

“I didn’t know!” I moaned softly.

Both ponies looked at me, shock plastered on their faces. “What do you mean?” Sunny asked. “Of course you knew! He and I were dating before you and I were.”

Slowly I shook my head. “Too stupid to know.”

Soarin’s hoof came to his face. “I tried to tell her but I never put it in those exact words. She just kept saying she was happy with how things were. I assumed you two had talked about it and she didn’t want to discuss it.”

Sunny’s grip on me tightened and she said softly, “I… could see how she’d not know. She didn’t want to know about my dates. Oh, Azu. We weren’t keeping it a secret, honest.”

I squirmed. I wanted to leave. They were perfect ponies that were perfect for each other. What chance did I have? “I know. I know. Stupid Azu. Let me go, please. I want to go home.”

“No,” Sunny said firmly, her voice full of authority. “We’re going to be adults.”

Soarin sat down next to us and nodded. “Yes. We’re going to talk about it and not make assumptions.”

Nope. No. Not happening. I wanted to go home. I squirmed more. By Celestia, why is Sunny so strong? Wiping some of the tears off my face I stammered, “Y-You two are a good couple. Let me go, please.”

“And you and I are a good couple. What’s your point?” Soarin asked.

Why were they being so cruel? Did they want to hear it? Fine! I took a deep breath. “You’re a perfect stallion. You’re sweet, strong, handsome, and dashing. She is a perfect mare. She’s kind, understanding, and beautiful. Why do you want a broken little mare that hides under tables?”

“That is enough of that!” Sunny commanded before squeezing me. “I am not perfect. I’m flighty, selfish, and I don’t always think about other ponies’ feelings. And you. You are not broken! Of course you won’t listen to me though. You only listen to that crazy little Azurite in your head. Not tonight though. I’ll show her!”

Sunny shifted and trapped me between herself and Soarin. “Tonight you’re going to pick one of us. Soarin and I aren’t going to get together as a couple. We’re going to sit here until you choose. Right Soarin?”

He sat up straight and nodded. “Yes. Azurite gets to win. You pick me or Sunny. We’re not picking each other. I’ll understand your decision either way. I’d be very happy to be with you.”

My head darted back and forth between the two of them. They were serious. I knew them both well enough to see that. “Why?” I asked.

“You’re worth loving. I’ve been playing around for years. Then you came along. Soarin has been waiting, though. He was one of the ones I just played with and I’m sorry about that but it is too late. You should pick him.”

Soarin shook his head. “Don’t be silly. She clearly needs you. I didn’t even know she had panics like this. If you finally found somepony you can finally settle down with I don’t want to take her from you. Of the two of us I’m sure I’ll find another pony that is the commitment type. Also, for what it’s worth, apology accepted. Now, Azurite, pick Sunny.”

I whined and put my hooves over my head. Sunny or Soarin? Soarin or Sunny? Make a choice, Azurite! It was time to be an adult. Adults can pick between eclairs and cake. I wasn’t much of an adult, though.

I looked up at Sunny and shook my head. “I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t. I know I have to. You both deserve that but I can’t. You two decide.”

Sunny looked down at me in frustration. She sighed and settled back, finally letting me go. “Alright. You don’t want to date anypony else, do you?”

No, no I did not. My head shook.

“You?” she asked Soarin.

He shook his head. “How about you?” he asked her in return.

She shook her head. “No, I’ve been slowly giving everypony else the boot. It got too messy, she was getting serious, and… well, we’re old friends aren’t we?” 

“Yeah. The oldest,” he said forlornly. “but friends.”

Sunny stroked my mane and nibbled on her lip. “Alright, well, I’ll simplify this. Soarin, since you and I have been friends a long time and we’ve dated a while, let me ask you a question: it’s been better than most right?”

“Yeah, I’d say so. I just never felt like I was more than one in the crowd.”

“Yeah… sorry about that,” Sunny replied. Then she huffed, “Oh enough of this. By Celestia, this is the worst date ever.” She got up and said, “Soarin, do you love Azurite? Don’t be coy.”

He looked at me and softly reached down to pet my mane. “Yeah, I do.”

“Me, too,” she said. “So pick her up and bring her into the bedroom.”

“Pardon?” He asked.

Sunny shrugged. “You love her. I love her. You and I are good enough together. I’m not going to run around anymore so if that was the only issue between us why can’t we work it out? It will just be the three of us. We certainly share our love of Azu in common and I’m not picking.”

Soarin slowly looked from me to Sunny, confusion clear on his face. “So… you’re suggesting we just keep going?”

“No. Not at all. Everypony together. Three ponies on dates, three ponies on trips, and three ponies in the bedroom. No other ponies on the side. Commitment.” 

Clearing his throat Soarin pointed a hoof at me. “Just so I’m clear. You and her at the same time. All the time?”

Sunny purred, “Yes, stud. Do you think you can handle that?”

He swallowed and then looked down at me. “Can you handle that, Azurite? If seeing us together is going to hurt you I don’t want to do it.”

Slowly I got up. Sunny Day was as crazy as Lovey Dovey… but I loved her and I loved Soarin. Could I possibly handle seeing them kiss? Forget kissing, though. What about sports? Maybe I could… I’d be there, too. I’d get kisses and sports, too. Ponies did that sort of thing. Oh, Azurite, is that the coward’s way out?

Who cares! It certainly beat choosing. Two ponies loved me and it was worth trying. Forget what Inside Azurite thought. I nuzzled up against Soarin and then quickly trotted over to Sunny. I wiped my eyes and did my best to be dignified.

In an effort to be brave I rose to my full height and, while still having to look up at her, said, “I get to go first.”

“You most certainly do not!” Sunny replied, her nose high in the air. “Wing ponies start on the bench. I’ll make sure you’re appropriately warmed up for the game though. Come along.”

She swayed her way in front of me, lightly swatted me with her tail, and made for the bedroom. Her gait was full of confidence and I knew better than to argue with a lead pony.

“Seriously?” Soarin asked, looking shocked. Finally he got up and closed the ground to us. We each got a big stallion nuzzle. “Alright, then… suits me fine.”

It suited me just fine, too. Choosing would have been impossible and, truthfully, the little Azurite in my head wasn’t complaining. Sunny and Soarin would be happy. I’d be happy and, most important of all, my cutie mark finally made sense. Three hearts connected by one little gem.


♥ 10 ♥