My name is...well...that's not really important, now is it?
I could tell you all about me; my job as a medical mercenary, my forged-in-fire friendships, and my sometimes crazed and unstoppable bloodlust...but for the tale I am about to spin, none of that matters. This isn't about the time I saved my best friend from falling to his death or about when I decapitated the entire enemy team with nothing but a bonesaw; this is about much less...violent desires.
I've seen her on stage so many nights; almost every single night I am available. I've always been a fan of string instruments and orchestra performances. Something about the sound the strings make when the bow is drawn across them melts my heart and calms my ever tense muscles right down. Some of my comrades think it strange that I can enjoy such things being what I am, but I shrug it off. I like all that heavy metal and stuff as well, but nothing beats the melodic vibrations of a cello's strings as the player's bow and fingers...or in this case; hoof...plays across them.
Back to the story, I go to see this one every night I can; this gray coated earth pony with a raven mane and tail as she wows all in attendance with her musical prowess. No one would think a hoof could play a string instrument like fingers could, but somehow, she makes it work. It took me all of two nights to memorize this mare's name; Octavia...Octavia Melody.
She was absolutely stunning for someone of a different species. I'd never entertained the thought of being attracted to an equine, but then again, no equines where I am from were like her; intelligent. Graceful. Sapient.
Her music always brought me a sense of calm, as did all low sounding instruments. When I was feeling down, guilty or flat out suicidal; she was there. Or at least, her melodies were. Those long symphonies of deep and long-drawn notes coupled together to make a ballad without words always seemed to be able to get me through whatever was troubling me at the time; no matter how bad it got.
Nearly every night she was my savior; the one shining beacon in my dark life that I could look forward to. I had fallen in love with her music, and through her interviews, I started to fall in love with her. Well, I suppose it's better o say I developed some romantic feelings at least.
It wasn't until one night, after one of her shows that I got the courage to approach this beauteous earth pony with a talent for the cello. I didn't know what I would say, even though my brain had practiced something like this a million times in fantasy, I went blank as soon as she turned her big, lovely lavender eyes my way.
You could lost in those eyes; their gleaming majesty just captures your attention like no other and makes even the smartest man alive go dumb for a moment or two.
Thankfully, she spoke first, and offered me a seat by her backstage. Graciously, I took it, and we struck up some small talk which bloomed into conversation.
One part of my life I can tell you is relevant is that I too have some skill with string instruments. It's not expert level, but good enough to be pleasing. I tell you this, because the conversation moved on to where it must have slipped out that I could, and she offered to let me show her on her own cello.
Needless to say, I messed up a bit, but she was impressed enough that she gave me an offer I could never refuse.
I became her apprentice, learning the ways of the masters of the strings. Each night, I would revisit her, and each night, we would perform together. As the nights went on, we started to grow a bit closer; I'd drop a small comment on her looks, and she'd throw me a thank you and even a blush sometimes. Even when she pretended not to be impressed, I could tell she was thankful for my words.
I started to feel...happy with Octavia. As we played together, our tunes became more melodic and less copy-catish. It no longer sounded like I was trying to keep up with her; our music just blended in with each other's, and became one heartmelting overture. I dare say we may have been able to compose an album of some type that night.
I was always better with her; more at peace than when I was anywhere else. She was perfect; not only in body, but in spirit as well. Her music revealed her soul to me, as did her words and actions which showed her purity. I think...I have fallen in love with this mare.
Sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? Well...in that regard...you would be right...
Do you wonder why I only saw her at night? Why I never mention anything about us being together during the day? Well, there's a reason for that; you can't dream while your awake.
Everytime our sessions would end, I would end up in my bed back at base; the alarm clock blaring loudly on my end table. I would have to wake up, and go back to the harsh reality of the world.
That's right; there is no Octavia Melody. There is no beautiful gray earth pony with a talent for the cello. For me, there is only the next mission, and the next battle and the possibility of not coming back.
Sometimes I long for the day I don't see that stray rocket coming at me, or I don't hear the tip-toeing spy creeping up with his knife from behind. Sometimes, I wish for that sniper's bullet to strike me down, and let me enter that forever sleep. Perhaps there, I can truly be with her; perhaps there, I can finally perform the duet of my dreams...with the mare I have grown to love.
You might think it foolish of me; a grown man wanting the heart of a non-existent creature from my dreams. A pony, no less. You may be right. But if in sleep is the only place I can find happiness and peace...then that is where I wish to be.
Who knows; perhaps in some other reality, there exists the one I long for. Perhaps, if by a one in a million chance, I ever reach her, I just might consider living happily.
There's a reason the sad sounding notes of a low cello smite me so; it's because I know that they are the closest things I will ever have to my beloved Octavia...
* * *
"Hey Octavia;" Vinyl called to her earth pony companion across the table. "you ok? You have that far away look again."
Octavia shook her head, bringing herself back to reality. "Hm? Yes, Vinyl?"
The white unicorn DJ tilted her dark purple shades forward, peering her ruby eyes over the rims at her lunch-mate while they were on their break from recording. "You doing ok?"
The gray earth pony's ears drooped. "I...had the dream again last night..."
Vinyl instantly put on a look of understanding. Octavia had been having recurring dreams of practicing music with a strange bipedal creature she had described as a "hugh-man."
"Did everything go ok?" She asked, knowing how touchy the subject of these dreams were to her.
"Yes, it all went quite well..." She replied with a sad expression. "It's just that...I know it's only a dream, but...everytime I have it...he seems to be...more and more sad...it's like...like he knows that we have to part again as soon as I wake up...and..strange as it sounds...I find myself not wanting to wake up some days..."
This made Vinyl a little worried. "Octavia...you're not gonna--"
"No." She reassured her friend. "I am not ha extreme, Vinyl. But...I don't know, it just feels so...so genuine. Like he...like he really...reciprocates my feelings."
Neither pony said anything for the longest time. After a few moments, Vinyl broke the silence with a clear throat noise.
"Well, don't let it get to ya, ok, Tavi?" She said, trying to smile. "It is only a dream afterall."
"I'm not so sure it is..."