*click*
*click*
*click click clickclickclick*
Twilight Sparkle sighed and twirled her ballpoint pen between her fingers for what must have been the millionth time since she’d gotten home from school. Idly, she wondered how many more times she could click it before she either broke the mechanism, or developed a callus on her thumb. It took a considerable force of will to just hold the pen normally, her nervous anxiety transferring to her foot which started to tap against the floorboards under her writing desk.
Twilight sighed and glanced over at her window, checking how much daylight remained. Her yard was still bathed in the golden light of sunset, but the shadows were notably longer and deeper. It won’t be long now.
She turned back to her desk and picked up her hastily made checklist. She had until it was truly dark out to get finished. Most of the items were already checked off anyway.
After school chores? Check.
Feed/walk Spike? Check.
Wash hair? Check.
Make bed? Check.
Check webcam area for embarrassing evidence of tragic levels of dorkiness? Not checked.
Twilight sighed and opened up her laptop, typing in her password more from muscle memory than conscious thought. She waited for it to finish its startup process and clicked on the little icon for her video chat program. It opened a moment later, showing her the view from her own camera. She adjusted the angle of her laptop to center her face in the shot, flashing herself a reassuring smile before standing and moving out of the view to see what it could see of her bedroom.
This was the first time Luna would be seeing inside her inner sanctum and she wanted to make a good impression. Considering how organized and color-coded Luna’s home was, it made Twilight feel her bedroom was shabby and underwhelming. She certainly didn’t want the older woman seeing disorganized piles of old books, or the colorful dragon posters that had blanketed her walls since she had been small, or the herd of stuffed unicorns that roamed her bedroom like some tiny magical kingdom.
I want to project a cool and collected image. It wouldn’t be a good idea to appear childish. Twilight scooped up her oldest unicorn plushie from where it was holding back a stack of outdated fantasy hardback books. “C’mon Smartypants...can’t have you reminding Luna of our age difference.”
She tossed the doll onto the far end of her bed and then angled the books so none of the spines faced the camera. She doubted that it would have the resolution for Luna to read any of them, but why take any chances? Twilight looked back at the window on her laptop, frowning when she spied the corner of one of her posters in the upper right of the view. It was an illustration of a small, friendly-looking purple dragon that was breathing green fire. There were a lot flashes around it, implying magic or some sort of mystical event going on.
“I should just throw that away.” Twilight huffed, her face feeling heated at the part of her life that still screamed teenage nerd. She reached up and started to peel the tape that held it to her wall. Wait...I got this at the bookfair when I was a freshmen. I can’t just throw it away. Maybe I’ll just move it over near the closet?
Twilight sighed, taking down the poster and tossed it on the bed with Smartypants. “I’ll figure out what to do with it later. I’ve got more important stuff to deal with.” She spun on her heel and padded back over to her computer and notebook. She grabbed the pen and made a neat checkmark next the completed task.
Check webcam area for embarrassing evidence of tragic levels of dorkiness? Checked.
Next on the list she had a few optional tasks. She could do more research on how to keep up with all the fun things Luna had introduced her to, a.k.a. watch more lesbian porn. The thrill of illicit research filled her with a bubbly sort of feeling, but watching porn before the sun went down just seemed wrong on some level. Twilight spared her window a glance, checking the position of the sun. It was almost down all the way. She wouldn’t have time to get any real research done before Luna showed up.
“Dang.” She twirled the pen in her hand and clicked the button on it rapidly before she marked that task as ‘tabled for later.’
She slumped in her chair and sighed, blowing her bangs out of her face. She looked at herself in the chat program’s view window and wondering again what it was that Luna saw in her, physically. She’d never considered herself a very pretty girl. Sure, she was lucky to have a clear complexion and bright, open eyes, but objectively, she wouldn’t count herself much more than cute at best.
Twilight smoothed the wrinkles in her shirt and sat up a bit straighter. Luna liked her—loved her—if she believed the other woman. She should feel confident in that, right? Twilight groaned, doubt and an endless number of questions swirling around in her mind, and she almost reached out to close the chat program.
Almost.
She had questions. She lacked information. Twilight hoped Luna would provide her with answers. She twirled the pen in her hand again, pressing the button each time it spun near her thumb. Am I really going to ask Luna this stuff? What if she thinks I’m dumb? Shouldn’t I have figured this stuff out already?
Twilight’s breath stopped when her computer flashed a notification of Luna coming online. She sat up, dropping the pen to the floor, and ran her hand over her hair to flatten it out. Outside, the last edge of the sun dipped below the horizon, coating the sky in rich pinks and shades of lavender. A moment later, the chat window blinked and the screen changed from a self-view to the black screen with the phone icon and Luna’s name in green text. She let it ring twice and then picked up.
The image resolved into the most beautiful woman Twilight knew. Luna looked slightly frazzled, her gently wavy hair messy, one lock hanging down into her face. She was still wearing her work clothes, her outer jacket crumpled and in need of ironing. Luna’s eyes scanned her screen, seemingly unaware that her webcam was already watching her. Her fingers sailed over the keyboard quickly, typing rapidly.
Twilight turned up the volume on her speakers and scooted closer to her own computer. She watched Luna as the woman checked her email and whatever else she did when freshly home from work. Twilight could hear the light clicking of Luna’s typing and music faintly in the background from Luna’s crazy stereo system.
Should I say something? Twilight rested her chin in her palm, elbow on the desk while she watched her girlfriend. If I don’t say anything, is that creepy?
Luna groaned, leaning back in her chair and stretched her arms and her back popped loudly. She sighed in relief and took off her jacket, draping it over the back of her chair. She closed her email, since the only new messages there where bill reminders and note from the contractor the school had hired to oversee some renovations. She just about to get up and fetch herself a drink when she noticed a highlighted icon on her taskbar. For a moment, her mind drew a blank on what it might be, when she suddenly realized it was the chat program she’d installed but almost never used.
Why is that...wait, wasn’t Twilight supposed to chat with me tonight? Luna blinked, clicking on the icon. The window that opened showed that there was already a call in progress, and Twilight Sparkle sitting at her desk, an impossibly cute look of mild confusion on her features. Twilight also looked incredibly clean and well groomed for the end of a hot evening. I don’t think I ever looked that good when I was her age.
“Twilight?” Luna grinned tiredly, waving at the screen. “Can you hear me?”
Twilight startled, shaken out of her thoughts by Luna’s voice. She rocked back and blinked rapidly. “Yikes! Luna, you startled me!”
“Well, why didn’t you say something when the call started?” Luna shook her head, marveling over how clueless Twilight came across as sometimes. The girl was blisteringly smart. She’d seen the school records. The awards, the advanced placement recommendations. At the rate Twilight was going, she’d be halfway done with her first year of college credit before she actually finished her senior year.
“Well…” Twilight waved her hands vaguely. “It started on your end. You probably have it set to auto-connect. I didn’t want to bother you while you looked busy. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, Twi. I wasn’t doing anything important.” Luna smiled, reaching back to pull out the band holding her hair back and shook it loose. “Besides, you are a very welcome distraction from the dull crap I’ve been dealing with at work. If I ever see another budgetary concerns memo again, it will be too soon.”
“Is something going on at the school?” Twilight leaned forward again, watching Luna de-stress as she undressed. Luna kicked off her black pumps, opening her blouse by a few buttons. When she shifted, Twilight could make out a hint of black against her blue skin under the shirt.
“Nothing new. Just the same sort of crap we have to get repaired or have annual maintenance on. I’m the main contact between the school administration and the contractors handling the work. I’m also the one that the department heads come to, every year, to make sure they get their piece of the budget pie.” Luna sighed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I like Cheerilee, but damn if that woman isn’t paranoid about the library’s allowance.”
Twilight bit her lip, trying to hold back her smirk. She had Miss Cheerilee for Math and she saw the teacher frequently in the library. Miss Cheerilee was normally very calm, but Twilight could easily imagine the woman being very intense and anxious. “Sorry you have to deal with that, Luna.”
Luna waved her hand dismissively. “It’s nothing. Really. At least there haven’t been as many disciplinary actions to handle this past week. Those are always a pain to deal with. But hey, that’s my job.” She stretched again, discarding the day’s stiffness along with her irritation. “So, what about you? How was your day?”
Now it was Twilight’s turn to wave dismissively. “Same old, same old. Classes, chores, etc. I showered and got cleaned up a little while ago. Now that you’re here though,” Twilight ducked her head bashfully, “I...uh...wanted to ask you something.”
“Oh?”
Twilight nodded, her throat going dry suddenly. She worked her jaw a little, looking back up at Luna. “It’s personal, so you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.” She saw Luna tense slightly, bracing for whatever was about to come her way. “It’s just...I need some guidance, Luna. Answers. I’ve had these questions buzzing around in my mind for a few days now, and I would like to figure them out.”
Luna sat up in her chair, focusing on the chat and folded her hands in front of her on her computer desk. It was a minor thing, but something in Luna’s body language comforted Twilight. Luna looked like she did in school, a confident, intelligent authority figure that had Twilight’s best interests at heart.
“This sounds pretty serious, Twilight.” Luna smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring way. “I’m open to anything. Ask away and I’ll...uh...do my best to answer.”
Twilight smiled at that. “Thank you, Luna. It’s just...I’ve done a lot of research online, but I’m not sure of what to make of everything I’ve seen. You’re my only real resource on the topic.” Twilight’s palms itched. She desperately wanted to check her notes and checklist again, but she forced herself to not fidget. She knew what she needed to say. The hard part was getting her mouth to cooperate.
She knew Luna would understand. Well, she hoped Luna would understand. Twilight was actually banking on the other woman having a different view so that she could compare and contrast her own feelings and experiences so far. Why is it so hard to talk about sex stuff with someone I sleep with? Shouldn’t that make this easier?
Twilight breathed out slowly, gripping the armrest on her chair to keep herself from reaching for her notepad. “Luna...you’ve known, your whole life, that you were a lesbian, right? You’ve always known that.”
“Well…” Luna shifted slightly, flexing her fingers as she processed what to say. “Yes, I suppose you could say that. I’ve been attracted to other woman for as long as I can remember being attracted to anyone. Why do you ask?”
“Luna, I haven’t known that I liked women my whole life.” Twilight frowned. “Really, it’s new to me. If someone had asked me a last summer if I was gay, I would have laughed—probably in a nervous ‘not sure at all’ sort of way—but I certainly would have scoffed at the idea. Now? Now I can’t stop thinking about you and how you make me feel and how I want to do things with you, to you, and I don’t know…” She sighed, letting go of her chair to fold her arms in front of herself and rest her head on them. “I can’t explain my attraction, Luna. Not to you specifically, I mean! You’re wonderful! Beautiful and smart and sexy! But...when did I go from thinking that guys looked good to having to stop myself from checking out the other girls during gym class?”
Luna opened her mouth and then closed it again, thinking about what to say. If she was honest with herself, the idea that Twilight had only just discovered her sexuality, possibly during their first meetings in the park under the stars, had never occurred to her. She had always known. Always known that she had felt a strong attraction to other women. It had been awkward, growing up and finding out it wasn’t the norm. That it was frowned on to actively illegal in some places was a factor in her life that she had simply lived with. It was like breathing, it felt so natural to her. But to her girlfriend, actually having a girlfriend was still something of an alien concept. At least, in Twilight’s benefit, times had definitely changed. Acceptance and tolerance were far more widespread than they had been during her teen years.
“Twi...I’m not sure what to tell you, honestly. Sexuality is not so black and white as we sometimes pretend. There are a lot more recognized...’flavors’, I guess you can call them...than there were when I was your age.” Luna swallowed a lump that was threatening to form in her throat. “I can’t tell you what made you like girls. I don’t know. I can’t tell you why, or even if you changed from straight to gay some day. Popular opinion on the subject is confusing and frequently contradictory.”
“Tell me about it!” Twilight rolled her eyes. “That contradiction is why I’m asking you, no one else online can seem to give me a straight answer. And don’t laugh at that!” Twilight pointed a finger at the smile creeping across Luna’s face on the computer. “And I want to be clear, this isn’t an issue of acceptance. I’m ok with being gay! I’m just still confused about how I went from occasionally dreaming about tanned, muscled chests to dreaming frequently about boobs. Is this how boys feel? Do they just want to feel them in their hands and nibble and...things?”
Twilight pantomimed copping a feel. “Do guys think about what is the proper amount tongue to use when motorboating, or do they just instinctively know? I want to know why I feel those goofy butterflies in my stomach when I see you in the halls at school and then when I get home I just want to hump you!” She froze, hearing her confession out loud. No matter how true it might be, it wasn’t something she thought you were supposed to reveal to your special someone.
Twilight clapped her hands over her mouth, instantly mortified by her out loud admission. Oh god...I did not just say that, did I? I just wanted to know why I’m having trouble rationalizing my attraction, not tell her I attack myself sexually just from thinking about her! She gulped, looking back at Luna. The older woman had an odd mix of emotions playing across her features. She looks...ok? Happy...embarrassed maybe?
“Luna?” Twilight lowered her hands slowly, her voice a bare whisper.
Meanwhile, across town, Luna’s face fought itself as emotions welled up and battled for dominance. On the one hand, she was incredibly flattered at being the focus of Twilight’s imagination. On the other, she felt extremely confused. Twilight might have ventured off topic, but her underlying question was an important one. But she also felt that she might not be able to help the young woman with it.
Luna blinked a few times, her lips parting slightly as she started and then stopped herself from speaking. It took her several attempts, but she eventually found her voice. “Twi...honey...I don’t think I can really answer your questions. I mean, I’m flattered—I think—but sexual attraction is just such a nebulous thing, you know? Personally, I’m a legs and abs girl. The first thing I noticed about you when I saw you at the park all those weeks ago, was how your shirt crumpled and creased while you were sitting and hunching down to make notes.”
“That’s sweet.” Twilight felt the edge of her lips twitch upward. “But that’s not sexy at all, Luna.”
“Exactly!” Luna pointed at Twilight like a teacher points at a student that has hit upon the crux of a difficult problem. “And yet, I was feeling attracted to you even then. Obviously, it wasn’t just how you looked in a t-shirt under the stars that brought me over to you. A lot of things worked out for that. Our interests, our personalities, and a bunch of tiny things. Everyone is different, Twilight, and so are our turn-ons. I suppose it does feel weird to go from liking one thing to liking the opposite without a clear, logical path leading to that change. But so many things are like that in life. Things change on a dime and it gets more and more frequent the older you get. Or maybe you just notice it more.”
Luna shrugged. “Look, don’t worry so much about it, ok? I’m not asking you to ignore it...I know who I’m talking to here. You’re as bad as my sister when it comes pursuing something to the end when you’re mentally engaged. But...I want you to know that those changes are normal. Natural. Even if we don’t understand them at the time, meaning will make itself known eventually.” She smiled again. “Does that help?”
Twilight sniffed, Luna’s words turning over in her head. She lifted her head some and looked up into the camera. “I guess so. Thanks Luna. I didn’t mean to spring this on you, really. It’s just been eating at me.”
“I’m here for you, honey.” Luna sighed and leaned forward, propping her chin in her hand. “Any other questions you want to get out? I can’t promise a good answer, but I’ll try. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me about stuff.”
The student hummed to herself, tapping her lips with a finger thoughtfully. “Um...kinda related to the previous question, but if I like girls and I’m still ok with thinking about guys in a sexy way...does that make me a bisexual?”
Luna chuckled. “I’m going to say no, unless you want to do more with guys than think sexy thoughts. Little know lesbian fact: we can still find men attractive, Twilight. Your sexual orientation notwithstanding, you are free to find anything you want to be attractive.”
“Maybe, after graduation, I should look into taking a college course on human sexuality.” Twilight shrugged. “That might help with some of these questions.”
“Probably a better solution than asking me. I’d just lead you astray.” Luna laughed again. “I am probably the worst person to ask these sort of questions. I’ve not had a ‘normal and healthy’ sexual history.”
Twilight giggled. “I doubt I’m helping with that.”
“Perhaps not…” Luna faded off, her eyes looking away from the screen for a moment. “Actually, speaking of helping...it is Friday night. Think you could sneak out for the evening? I’d enjoy your company, and we could keep talking in person. If you want to.”
“In person and naked?” Twilight smirked and checked the clock in the bottom corner of her monitor screen. It wasn’t late at all. Her parents wouldn’t be home for another hour. She could always send them a text saying she went over to a friend’s place. Which, technically, wasn’t a lie. “I think I can get out, if you can have me home before it gets too late.”
“I think we can manage that at least. Pick you up at the park?”
“Yeah. See you there in about ten minutes.” Twilight blew her girlfriend a kiss, giggling to herself when the call closed down. She grabbed her bag and tossed a few books into it and after a moment of thought, Smartypants joined them. She sent her parents a quick, vague text, locking the door on her way out into the starlight.
About an hour later
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
Principal Celestia sighed, pointing the remote at the TV and pausing her show. Between constant interruptions thanks to the early semester maintenance at the school and life in general, she was sure that she’d never get the chance to catch up to the current season. She leaned over and picked up her cell from her bedside table and glanced at the id. Fantastic. What did I do to deserve this? Can I get no peace anymore?
Celestia tapped the cell and held it up to her ear. “Do you realize what time it is?”
“Well, ‘hello’ to you too.” The voice on the other end purred with classical snark. “Sorry to interrupt whatever riveting activity you’re surely engaged in on a Friday night, but I need to tell you something important.”
“It’s the weekend, for crying out loud!” Celestia rubbed her temples. “Do you realize how long it’s been since I’ve had time to myself? Can this not wait until Monday?”
“This isn’t about work, Tia. It’s personal.” The playful tone vanished. “I’m calling as an old friend, not as the Superintendent.”
That made her sit up straighter. “Discord, that had better not be a joke.”
“I’m as serious as I can be, Tia.” Discord’s voice sounded serious to her. He was always quick with a joke or quip, even when they were working together. But over the years, she’d come to understand that when he talked like this, it paid to listen closely. “I saw something troublesome.”
“What?” She turned off the TV, focusing on the phone conversation.
“I was at the park, the one on Fifth and Main. While I was there, I noticed a car that looks a lot like your sister’s”
“So? Where is this leading, Discord?” Even when he was being serious, the man could never just get to the point. It was one of his more annoying character traits. “I have a lot of work to catch up on.”
“Oh? What season of Midsomer Murders are you up to? Or have you moved onto Call the Midwife?” He chuckled loudly into the phone. Celestia sneered.
“Get to the point or I am hanging up on you.”
“Ok! Ok...no need to get grumpy at me. The reason I called to tell you I saw Luna’s car was because when I saw it, a young girl, about high school age and with an obvious CHS badge on her bag, was climbing into it. They then left in the general direction of Luna’s place.”
Discord paused and Celestia sat there in silence, her chest tightening with each passing second. Luna...picking up a student? Surely she isn’t that dumb? Is she? Celestia took a deep breath. She had to give her sister the benefit of the doubt. This could be completely innocent and benign. “Are you sure it was Luna’s car?”
“Who else in town has a vanity plate that says ‘M00N1E?’” Discord cleared his throat. “Tia...given her history…”
“Yeah. I know. Do me a favor...don’t tell anyone else. I’ll check on it myself.”
“I’ll keep it hush hush, for old time’s sake, Tia.” Discord’s voice grew soft. “I’m willing to help out again, if you need me. I’d rather this was handled...quietly”
“Thanks. For letting me know.” Celestia stared ahead, not looking at anything specifically, as her mind thought back to her college years. Then, just like now, Discord had come to her and let her know that Luna was wrapped up in a shady personal relationship that could threaten her future career path as a teacher and administrator. It had taken a lot of work, but they buried that that then. If they were lucky, they could do it again and nip whatever was going on in the bud.
They said their goodbyes, the line going dead a moment later.
“Well, shit.”