Sam, Max, Trixie, and Bosco's body fell through the portal into an underground tunnel, dimly illuminated and having a thick green river flowing through the center. Trixie managed - just barely - to soften everyone's landings with her magic.
"The spaceship has self destructed," Jane informed them through Trixie's interface. "Now extrapolating your current location."
"Given we just got off a spaceship that travels through time, any chance you could tell us when we are first?" Sam asked.
"Present date," Jane replied. "About two days after you first signaled the spaceship. You also appear to be directly underneath your apartment building...on the shores of the River Styx."
"The gates to the Underworld are under our home?" Trixie asked, shocked.
"No wonder the rent was always so cheap," Sam commented.
"Is that Harry Moleman by the ferry?" Max asked, pointing.
Sure enough, Max had correctly identified the mole that had been the Don of the Toy Mafia, and the clerk at the Blister of Tranquility gift shop. Rather surprising, since they hadn't encountered him at all at any other time, and had only seen his face once. The mole was currently wearing a gray cloak and black mask.
"Wonder what he's doing down here," Sam commented.
"We could ask," Trixie pointed out.
"True," Sam agreed. "Maybe he can help us get Bosco's soul back in his body."
The trio made their way over to the mole. As they approached, he held out his hand. "Token," he said, his voice modified to be deep and gravely.
"Token? For what?" Sam asked, confused.
"Soul train..." he replied, his voice still gravely.
"Is that where Bosco went?" Trixie asked.
"Yes..."
Trixie pulled out her gun and stuck it practically up Harry's nose. "We don't have any tokens. Do you take bullets?"
"Whoa, whoa!" Harry complained, waving his hands, his voice once more normal. "I don't make the rules! But nobody rides the train to hell without a token, and you only get one when you die! I can't even call the train unless the proper number of tokens are presented!"
"So when we die, we get tokens to take us to hell?" Max asked.
"If that's your final destination," Harry replied.
"It's us," Sam pointed out. "I seriously doubt we'll be going anywhere else."
"I can check if you like," Harry replied.
"Sure," Sam confirmed.
"Sounds good to me," Max replied.
"Sounds interesting to Trixie."
Harry consulted his ledger for a time. "Hrrmm...hmmm...huhhh...well, this is a surprise. You two are bound for limbo."
"What?" Sam asked in shock.
"My whole life's been a lie!" Max wailed. "A lie!"
"How is that possible?" Sam demanded.
"Because of her," Harry explained, pointing to Trixie.
"Oh, that makes sense," Max agreed, once more grinning widely.
"I'd like a bit more of an explanation," Sam pointed out.
"A new regulation regarding how souls are judged," Harry explained. "Well, I say new, but it's a couple hundred years old. Still relatively speaking..." He shrugged. "Anyway, you're no longer just judged by your own personal deeds. You're also judged on how your life has affected those around you, and the world at large. If your lives or actions have made the world a better place, it weighs on the side of your virtue. Not too heavily, but every improved life counts for something. And, well...the entire world remembers what it felt like when they were Trixie, desperate to save you, Max. That single moment of mass mind link has forced every living being on the planet to accept the existence of every other living being's soul. While the change isn't that large yet, it's built up momentum to the point that, by the time Trixie reaches adulthood, we could end up with World Peace."
"How horrible!" Max said, completely shocked.
"We'd be out of a job!" Sam added.
"Even without that, every living being on the planet has started to show more consideration of their fellow beings...and it was because Trixie loves you so much, Max," Harry explained. "Between that and how your Presidency has changed America for the better, you'll be lucky to still make it into limbo by the time you die. You might just get into heaven!"
"I don't know whether to be disgusted by the idea of going to heaven or excited at the idea of being unleashed on all those angels," Max said wickedly.
"And now I'm abjectly terrified," Sam pointed out.
"As for you, Sam, most of the weight on your soul is from your association with the chaos and sins of your compatriot here," Harry explained, "while at the same time, your unwavering loyalty to him is the source of much of your virtue. As such, the bonus on his virtue from such influence spills over to you. Wherever he goes in the afterlife, you'll go with him."
"Wouldn't have it any other way," Sam replied, buffeting Max lightly on the back of his head.
"As for Trixie, she's not actually a part of our world's afterlife system," Harry explained. "So as a result, the virtue she earns weighs on the two of you as far as our system is concerned."
"What if we just want to swing by Hell for a visit?" Max asked.
"Do you know someone who works there?" Harry asked. He showed them a list of names.
The trio leaned over the list. Trixie spotted a name and gasped. "Mommy, I need to send an email!" she said eagerly.
"Do you have an email address?" Jane asked.
"Uh huh! wetandwild@fcs.com," Trixie replied. "Tell him I want to visit him at work, but can't go anywhere without Daddy and Uncle."
There was silence for a while. "Message has been sent," Jane replied. A few moments later, she spoke up again. "We have a reply. The visitor's passes will be sent, but he won't be able to meet you right away, but looks forward to seeing you again."
Harry's phone rang. He picked it up. "Death..." he spoke, his voice once more gravelly. "Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Gotcha." He hung up. "Here's your visitor's passes," he declared, handing over three badges.
Within moments, the Soul Train pulled up. The trio boarded together, making their way to hell.