//------------------------------//
// Partners in Crime 
// Story: Misadventures of Trixie 
// by Tau22 
//------------------------------//

Saddleton was a nice enough town. Far from major trade routes, tourism hotspots and generally any source of potential conflict or problems. A peaceful little place, ideal for a peaceful little stop on one's travels. And the locals even seemed to enjoy her theatrics quite a bit. An almost ideal town, really.

She gave the bartender a carefully-calculated tip, then greedily took a mean gulp from her apple cider. One of the few treats she occasionally allowed herself. It was cool, but not enough to make her teeth ache. Just right. The tavern was rather full, most of the patrons locals. Sights like her or the handful of traders in the corner were a rare thing in these parts. 

Suddenly, from the outside, shouting could be heard, whimsical rather than angry. It got closer and closer, until finally two stallions entered the tavern. Trixie almost spit out her drink when she looked at them. Of all the places in Equestria, they showed up there?

The two were practically identical. Same shade of yellow for the fur, same crimson-white mane, even their striped outfits and silly little hats matched. The only differentiating mark was that one had a meticulously groomed, rather alluring moustache. There was no doubt about it, it was them.

She need not introduce them, of course, that was always the favourite part of their routine. The moustachioed one walked first and spoke, his voice loud and audible throughout the tavern:
"Flim, brother of mine, what do you see?"
A perfectly rehearsed routine, memorised days in advance:
"Flam, dear brother, I see a tavern fit for you and me."
"The establishment is fine, if you have a lot of time!"
"Or bits, dear brother, isn't it just a bother?" 

They dispersed among the patrons, who watched in states between mild curiosity and genuine 
interest. Flim was the one to start once again, shouting across the bar:
"I wonder, Flam, how else could you relax?"
"You mean, Flim, forget about worries and fear of tax?"
"Yes, indeed! Can you not see all these ponies in need?"
"Well, then, perhaps we can lend some aid?"
"With a product, most certainly well-made!"
And then, they joined together:
"For we have for you, a special kind of view! The Flim Flam Amazing Zen-maker!"

Flim held out a small object in one of his hooves, while the brother gazed at it in practised bewilderment:
"But brother, how does it work?"
"Easy as cider squeezy! A simple roll betwixt your hooves, and you will be the master of your moods!"
"I feel our audience has doubts about our claim!"
"Let us demonstrate, so that none remain! Would anyone care to give it a try?"
Not letting anyone else make up their mind, Trixie immediately shouted from the bar:
"Let's see what all this fuss is about, boys."

Some patrons let out an approving chuckle as the showpony stood up, in full show attire, no less. The brothers' eyes grew wide with surprise, but they kept up the act without error. They were, after all, professionals:
"Yes, my dear! Come here and leave your beer!"

She walked closer and gave them an equally practised, doubtful look. Flim handed her the object. It was akin to a small ball, covered with spike-like protrusions. Those were, upon further observation, thankfully not sharp. As instructed, she rolled it between her hooves. It was an interesting sensation, the various little spikes pushing against various spots with just enough force to register. It was rather calming, she had to admit. A few more rolls, putting on a faint smile in the process, and she gave her verdict:
"It is rather nice. I could get used to this, for sure."

Flam took it back and exclaimed:
"There you have it," the moustache swayed wildly as he grinned, "and with a little practice, everypony can easily find a technique they enjoy the most! For those days with too much commotion to spend time at your favourite establishment, nothing will substitute!"
"A one-time purchase, it is as durable as a suit of armour," to demonstrate, he threw it against the ground with obvious force. It bounced off without an issue as the audience gasped, "what do you say, mares and gentlecolts? The price is reasonable, ten bits for a lifetime!"
After a brief pause, one of the patrons shouted:
"Ah, what the hay, I'll take it!"
Many others followed suite:
"Yeah, give me one, too!"
"I'll take two, please."
The brothers grinned widely, while Trixie allowed herself a smirk.

******

At the outskirts of Saddleton a campfire was set up. The three accomplices sat around it, helping themselves to some fresh vegetables and other treats. For once, they were bought legitimately.
"I say, you were the last pony we expected to see, Trixie," Flim spoke and afterwards buried his face in a bowl of salad.
"Indeed, dear brother. Though, I must say, your intervention was timely. It guaranteed sales."
"Oh, anything for my old compatriots. Though, I must ask, what brings you all the way here to a small town like this?"
"That very fact! Small, peaceful, out of the way! Wouldn't have heard of some of our more infamous escapades."
"You wouldn't, by any chance, be referring to the miracle tonic debacle?"
Flam nodded:
"That too, but you'd be surprised how many still remember our old," he suddenly put on his stage persona, "Flim Flam Universal Lubricant Extreme!"
"In hind sight, we should have specified it was for industrial use only."
"You forget," Trixie added, "that we ourselves didn't know what it was good for at the time. Much like the Infinite Bounce-o-Tronic 4000, which actually did never stop. Kids who threw it learned the hard way."
"That one did have an attached disclaimer, though. Luckily for us."
"Indeed, brother."

"Speaking of products, how did you find these things," she rolled the ball around a little, "they're actually something I'd consider buying, even from you two."

"Luck mixed with the skills of a salespony," Flim stared at one of his hooves with a smug grin, "we met this fellow close to a rock farm near Foal Mountain. Said he had found these peculiar things during his daily activities and he wanted to get rid of them. As entrepreneurs, we saw the opportunities."
"And we actually tested it, too. I hit the things with a sledgehammer almost twenty times. The hammer was in worse shape than them by the end of it."
"Why did you even have a sledgehammer, anyway?"
"Always prepared for a potential buyer, I say."
"It's been prepared for five years, in fact."
"Right," subconsciously, she kept rolling the little ball. She suddenly came to a halt as she noticed something. One of the spines was missing. She looked down and saw tiny cracks all over its surface, "umm, guys?"

Without warning, the ball suddenly cracked open and a black, liquid-like substance poured outside. In gathered into a small mound on the ground, looking like some sort of bizarre gelatin. The brothers commented as one:
"What in the world?!"

The mound stirred once again, pulling itself together into a somewhat-round shape. Soon enough, three large, yellow orbs formed on top. The creature took in its surroundings, somehow able to separate its trio of eyes in different directions. Trixie immediately knew what the creature was, thanks to many hours of semi-useful subjects:
"A deepling!"

******

The classroom was silent, everyone was busy scribbling down notes while the professor continued his lecture. He was a rather tall brown stallion, obviously fit and still in his best years. Many classmates had expressed having a crush on him. Ah, the perils of classroom romance. A large, green book floated next to him and lay on every table in the room. Biologica Arcana.

He turned to the blackboard, where animated pieces of chalk were already busy drawing a likeness of the creature:
"Now, one of the most interesting dwellers when it comes to the underground is the aptly-named deepling. They are a cautious species and are generally only seen during mining or excavations efforts, even then rarely. The most peculiar thing about the deepling is its lack of a solid form. Not burdened by a skeletal structure of any kind, it possesses the miraculous ability to change the shape of its body and organs at will. This allows it to traverse even the most narrow of passageways in its quest for food," a dark green filly with an azure mane raised a hoof, "yes?"
"What does it eat, sir?"
"Impatient as always, Miss Strike," he put on a playful grin as the class chuckled, "I'll get to that soon enough."

She slumped down in her seat and looked over to her closest neighbour, a certain Miss Lulamoon, with a whisper:
"Why do you never stop me?"
"Because you're always too mesmerised by professor Faun to care."
"Am not, you dolt."
"Keep telling yourself that."

The two chuckled and turned their heads back to the lecture.

******

"What the hay is a deepling?" again, in perfect unison.
"A creature from underground. Oh, Celestia, this is bad."
"How come? It looks quite adorable to me." 

Flim extended one hoof towards the creature. All three eyes narrowed on him and it revealed the existence of a maw. Flim could not quite make out what was inside the creature, as he was preoccupied dodging a set of razor-sharp teeth. At least, she thought that was how they were classified, seeing as there was no sign of bone. They looked more like jagged pieces of rock. Both brothers screamed as the creature was suddenly lifted off the ground in a magical bubble. It struggled against its prison, to no avail.
"The demon almost took off my leg!"
"I saw, dear brother! It is a menace!"
"Ugh, you two..."

They both froze as they stared right at Trixie, who seemed ready to incinerate them with a simple stare. They threw themselves into each other's arms and started trembling. Just like old times.
"You incapable half-wits have not only bought a defective product, you've bought an army of rock-eating, easily provoked underground beasts!"
Even the deepling seemed to cower before her at that point. Flam dared ask a question:
"Rock-eating?"
"Yes! They use the minerals for their daily functioning and to conjure useful things like teeth," the captive revealed its own set with a snarl, "and if we don't hurry, they'll eat most of Saddleton come morning."
"W-we," she shot Flim a look that would make Discord himself behave, "I mean, of course we! We caused this, we'll help clean it, right brother?"
"Yes, yes!"
Their smiles were nervous at best. Her look changed to one of determination:
"Good. Follow me, we'll need to round these up."
With that, she galloped towards town. The brothers shared a look:
"Now I remember why we don't travel together anymore."
"I still have trouble sleeping sometimes, brother."

They caught up to her with some difficulties. The deepling still hovered next to her and seemed to be enjoying the ride. The moustache-owner shouted:
"Do we have a plan?"
"Yes! There is an abandoned dig site not too far from here. We just need to capture them and throw them in. They'll be happy to be back in the dark."
"Sounds good to me."
"One more thing. When you find one, keep it in its own bubble."
"Why?"
"Let's just say they're stronger when together."
"Alright."

A scream suddenly sounded from ahead. Without another word, they rushed to the scene.

******

Saddleton was in a bit of a pickle, if a horde of building-munching monsters counted as just a pickle. Ponies ran to and fro in panic, protecting their lives, and in some cases jewellery, from the invaders. One such mare kept one of the beasts at bay with nothing but a fashionable umbrella. Trixie dashed in and apprehended the deepling. The rescued pony sighed in relief:
"Oh, by Celestia, thank you!"
"'Twas nothing. Now come on, you two!"

They dashed from street to street, capturing deeplings wherever they went. Saddleton seemed to be handling the siege well so far, with only a few buildings damaged by the ever-hungry critters. Nobody seemed to be hurt, either. Really, as far as invasions went, this one wasn't half-bad.

After a while, they stood in the town square, panting heavily. Each of the trio carried at least a dozen, but they finally seemed to have all of them. The townsfolk were relieved, even if they shot the salesponies quite a few glares. Trixie sighed:
"Phew. I think we've got all of them."
"Thank Celestia. You know where the dig site is, right?"
"Yes, so just follow me and..."
"Aaaaaaaagh!"

Flim screamed in surprise as one last creature dropped on him from a nearby rooftop. Losing his concentration for just long enough, the rest managed to break free. In just a few moments, the area descended into chaos, with Flam and Trixie also forced to relinquish their prisoners. The formless critters rushed onto a single pile and started... building a body. Each deepling fell perfectly into the design, like a building block.

Some became one of four large, powerful legs. Others formed a pair of mighty arms. The resulting abomination stood at nearly thrice a pony's height, its metaphorical crew protected by thick plates of rock. A dozen yellow eyes were located on its form, gazing in every conceivable angle at once. The deep one roared with a mouth that possessed several jaws and crushed a part of the pavement under its armoured foot.

Flim fainted on the spot and as Flam gazed down, he commented:
"Excellent idea, brother of mine," and did the same.

Her mind raced. They were fearsome, yes, but they were also holding together like a horrific package. A potentially useful fact. Her horn started glowing as the townsfolk ran for cover. She tried her best to make the image absolutely perfect, irresistible for creatures such as them. With a semi-confident voice, she then shouted:
"Over here, boys," the deep one turned and all of its eyes suddenly changed position to stare in her direction. Excellent, "look what I have!"

A massive emerald hovered next to her, easily as large as her head. It was polished and reflected any nearby light to a ridiculous degree. She could swear she saw the construct start salivating. With a wicked grin, she started running. The beast followed in a much more primal fashion, smashing any debris or objects in their way. Its pursuit was single-minded, driven by raw hunger. And while that did mean it did not consider the possibility of a ruse, that same fact also made it that much harder to run away from the creature.

Its steps were akin to mighty leaps, trampling anything in its path to get to the promised jewel. Even trees offered no refuge as they were swatted aside like insects. The showpony was forced to dart between its swipes and slams, all the while maintaining her ruse It wasn't too far now. Just a little bit longer.

Finally they came upon a clearing. Another flash of magic bathed the area as the monster caused a tremor with one last leap. The pony just stood there, panting heavily. She looked up at it and shouted:
"Fine, you win. Here."

She was not sure if it could register words, but it could surely register deeds. With a flick of her head, the gem was thrown onto the ground with an audible thump. It roared in triumph and Trixie stepped to the side to avoid its ravenous charge. It leapt onto the spot, its arms stretched out to seize the prize. And then, it was no more, gone without a trace. To an onlooker, it would have looked as if the ground itself had eaten the monster. A loud crash sounded mere moments afterwards.

The showpony smiled and finally undid her magic. Where there had been a peaceful clearing, there now stood a large hole, nearly a dozen metres across. A precarious path winded down its edge, the only entrance to a once-bountiful mining operation. In the faint light of the evening, she could barely make out several small forms, scurrying deeper into the darkness. With a final nod, she turned and began her walk back to Saddleton.

******

"Excellent work, everyone," the town mayor, an orange mare in a quite dapper ensemble, oversaw the repair efforts, "Saddleton will be back in top shape in no time."

Among the locals, three sore thumbs stood out, The two brothers, shamed but forgiven, were busy due to a sudden influx of refund requests. Well, that was Flim's job, and he wept for every bit returned. Flam, meanwhile, put his skillset to good use, and was using their sledgehammer to create manageable chunks from any debris.
"I must say, this is actually quite relaxing!"
"Oh, shut up, brother."
"At least you finally have a use for the thing," Trixie aided with her magic, using either levitation or see-through illusions to indicate how the building should proceed, "and I do believe you've learned a valuable lesson, boys."
Flim agreed:
"Yes. Never buy things from rock farmers."
"Perhaps, but this whole sledgehammer thing has given me an idea! What if we make a deal with that rock farmer and have a sort of stress relief programme?" Flam talked normally, as if he wasn't crushing boulders into dust at the same time.
"Hmmm... that may be an idea, brother of mine. But what would we call it?"
A pony in line spoke:
"Can you figure that out after I get my refund?"
"Oh, sorry."
"How about the Flim Flam De-Stressing Facility?"
"Oh, heavens, no! It needs to roll off the tongue! How about..."

Trixie sighed to herself, but then put on a smile. Some things never changed.

******

Professor Faun left the classroom, to the disappointment of many fillies. Nova Strike was among them, gazing dreamily as the stallion walked out. A slight jab to the side was all it took to bring her back to reality.
"Hey!"
She turned to the blue filly, who was already giggling like crazy.
"Keep your brain under control, Miss Strike! You'll be impatient again!"
The dark green filly retorted with a smirk:
"Not as impatient as you are during alchemy, Miss Lulamoon! Or did you forget our last unintentional fireworks display?"

They bumped heads together, putting on their finest battle stares. Those soon devolved into uncontrollable chuckles. Chatting about their day, they grabbed their things and headed for their next lesson. Like the best of friends.