"Might I say, you look splendid today!"
"Shut up, Discord."
"I bet the mares swoon over your rock hard abs!"
"I will break you..."
I break him and as soon as I get the same garden fate, he goes for every rock pun good or bad. For a thousand years and--
Hoof steps. I hear hoof steps! I used my senses as my eyes as I noticed a fully grown mare and some little ponies. Buy our toys, buy harder! screamed in my head as their colorful bodies went from being lights to forms in front of my face.
"Hey, I heard of this!" my magic stone voiced shouted, only heard by the statues as they groaned in response. One of them cursing at me. "Well, flip you too Steve! ...Sorry Steve, I meant that for Carl the Hoof Eater." I turned my senses to Discord, making him feel my invisible smirk, "Its your time, brother! Be free so I can have a new sight!"
I felt him question me, which stopped as soon as three fillies began fighting. It was stopped by their teacher, but an unexpected outcome revealed itself as a brown colt playing Star Fox 64 on a loud 3DS exclaimed, "Do a barrel roll!" My chest made an audible chirping noise as I was forced back to normal, stuck inside a stone shell instead of being actual stone. All I could see was black, but all that changed what I summoned my scouter, seeing heat signatures as the teacher took the game system.
He walked up to me asking, "Woah, whose this guy?"
If I remember right, I was in my super saiyan form or another muscular form. I digress. The teacher told her student, "This is Fandom the Random, a fairly unpredictable foe the princesses defeated. He appeared out of nowhere with a magic sword that allowed him to phase through solid objects. Nopony knows his origin, but every telling of an encounter was different. At first the ponies thought it was multiple creatures until the princesses confronted him. He was turned to stone on their third try to defeat Fandom and stop him from destroying the planet."
I rolled my eyes, "Can I stop you there?" In my head I heard the statues gasp and though my stone chest I heard ponies gasp. "Don't worry, I'm stuck. I don't even want to harm anybody!"
The teacher gulped before stomping a hoof, "Bu- but, you stole children!"
"The Hybrid did it! I don't know how to cure DNAliens!"
"You destroyed crops!"
"A guy named Trance hypnotized me! He's in the history books, right? I mean he used his captive audience to be Pack the Ripper."
"That explains the murders..."
"I only murdered a cow, until I learned they could talk! I gave her remains a proper burial before I vomited," I actually saw some of the children circle around my front.
The teacher got in my face, which was above my free head, "Why did you attack Princess Luna?!"
"I was trying to contain an alien symbiote that attached itself onto Luna. Luckily it didn't take over her, but the magical properties corrupted Luna. Blame Celestia for Nightmare Moon since it could've been avoided." I sighed, "Enough about me, how's your life going? Must be hard being mother with all these kids."
I'm pretty sure she glared at me, "I'm a teacher." She replied in an even tone.
"Oh goodie! Do I get an A for history?!" Some children snickered, but not many. "Do you think Princess Celestia can join your class? I heard she's a big girl now." Silence. "I cant see your faces, can someone tell me if I crossed the line?"
An odd looking blob shook his head before replying with a dumb sounding voice, "Big time Fandom the Random!"
"I forgot to introduce myself?! How thoughtless as a sun god," I began to push at the walls, everyone backing up before the cracking stopped and my wimpy arms hung out of my stone pits. "Let's try that again..." I pulled my arms in, bursting out of the statue with my Hulk form before reverting back from a big green human to a fairly fit man that resembled a white-blue fusion of Max Steel and MegaMan X with a white Ben 10: Ultimate Alien ultimatrix. I unceremoniously fell on my face, raising a finger as I got up and took a poise, "I am the great Fandom Man!"
Some children ran away while a few just looked up at me, the brown button masher commenting, "Meh. I guess he looks cool." The teacher nailed a cheap shot at me, stopped by my Halo 4 energy shield.
I grabbed her, forcing my hold on her until I had the teacher in my arms like a baby, "Can you send a message to your princess?"
She struggled in my grasp so I turned into my basic saiyan form to compensate, she growled and scowled, venom dripping from her voice as she asked, "What?!" I nearly fell back, but my new tail held me like a tripod.
"Um... harsh. I think you just set free Discord, Lord of Chaos... So, um... can you tell Celestia to get her student and her friends to stop him? I would stop him, but I made a promise..." She looked over to where Discord once stood, only a pedestal. I put her drown slowly before whispering, "Hey, the crusaders didn't awaken him! I didn't expect this to be your fault."
I touched my ultimatrix, the ring hovering instead of popping up and being attached to the watch. I turned the ring until I found the DC comics - Justice League section, selecting the Thanagarian species. I pushed the ring back on the watch, getting a Max Steel/Ben 10 style transformation as I grew more muscular and brown wings spouted from my back as blue hexagons covered my suit, compensating for the changes. I didn't like War Hawk's suit style so I had my gear make some changes that give me goggles, a armored muscle shirt with wing slits and the legs down stayed the same except for my shoes gaining speed increasing rockets. On my chest was the ultimatrix symbol, dead center like in every transformation, but instead of a green-black hour glass it was a simple blue light.
Those who stayed and the newcomer guards watched in shock as my bigger form flexed my wings before flying off. Thanks to my lack of practice, my flight was unbearable... made worse by the pegasus guards chasing me. I summoned my mace out of my subspace pocket... then started singing into it. I worry about my mental health until I noticed a common phrase.
Im not a fan of puppeteers, but I have a knacking fear...
Discord just broke the earliest Pinkie Pie promise ever made!
"DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR-DUH!! YOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRE-DUH!!" The guards didn't understand my Cat in the Hat crappy movie reference, but they backed up as I tore through the sky towards a near by hedge maze, flames at my feet as I flew.
"Its Morphin' Time!"