//------------------------------//
// 980 - The Dark Knight 
// Story: I Make Movies 
// by The Good Dark Lord 
//------------------------------//

Big Bucks and the other executives gave the green light for my Mare Do Well movie. Sorry, future Mane Six, but stealing your idea before it was actually supposed to exist is for the greater good.

To say that the movie was a perfect adaptation of The Dark Knight would be a lie. Act One was a loose adaptation of the first half of Batman Begins, and Acts Two and Three were basically a condensed version of The Dark Knight itself.

The character Mare Do Well herself is basically a gender bended version of Batman, so instead of Bruce Wayne the character is now Beatrice Wayne. Rachel Dawes is now the best friend instead of the love interest. Harvey Dent/ Two Face is mostly the same, except now he's the love interest to both Mare Do Well and Rachel, thus preserving the love triangle from the original movie but slightly different. The Joker is still his old crazy self because you don't mess with a perfect character like that. I even managed to find pony actors who bore striking similarities to the original actors. The stallion who played The Joker was named Heath Ledge for crying out loud, he even gave the same awesome performance as Heath Ledger! Thank god he didn't accidentally overdose.

Now I know for a fact that making movies back on Earth is hard work, which is why I slapped myself in the face when I realized just how easy it is for ponies to make movies. I didn't notice when I was directing Love on Wings, because I figured it only took two months because all we had to do was film the characters crack bad jokes and do a couple slapstick stunts. It was during Mare Do Well that I discovered that magic is VERY useful in movie making, and saves a lot of time and money. Illusion spells are basically Equestria's version of greenscreen. We used them for everything from explosions to Harvey's half-burned face. It's like this cool third option that's between practical effects and CGI. It really is there in front of the camera, but none of the actors are actually in any danger.

We filmed on location in Las Pegasus. Pre-production began in late September of 979. Post-production ended in early May of 980, one whole year since I arrived in this world.

Opening day was on June 1, 980. I was still a relatively unknown director at the time, but the movie itself had gained a lot of hype. It helped that I based the trailers off of the actual Dark Knight trailers. The world premiere took place at what was basically Equestria's version of the TCL Chinese Theatre. Myself, the producers, the cast, Big Bucks and the other executives were all given the red carpet treatment. We smiled and waved for the cameras. Like I said earlier, I was an unknown to just about everyone (one mare even called me "that one guy that made Love on Wings") so I was mostly ignored in favor of the actors and actresses, who were much more famous than me. There were lots of other celebrities and famous or important people there but I didn't bother with them unless I had to shake their hooves/ hands/ talons.

We all filed into the theater and took our seats. The lights dimmed.

I would like to quickly mention that I did not screen the movie for critics, so what was about to occur was the raw, unbiased reaction of ponykind to a very, very dark story. Some of Equestria's most notorious and hard to please movie critics were actually in the audience, so I could worry about them afterwards.

The movie starts at Wayne Manor, just outside the fictional city of Gotham. There we meet a young and happy-go-lucky Beatrice Wayne earth pony, her wonderful parents Thomas unicorn and Martha pegasus, her snarky but wise butler Alfred Pennyworth unicorn, and her best friend Rachel pegasus. Later on, Beatrice and her parents go to see a play. After the play ends, they leave and cut through a back alley. They're happy and smiling.

And then a stallion whose face is obscured by the night's shadow mugs them, shoots Beatrice's parents in cold blood, and leaves. We never find out his identity. Martha is already dead. The last thing Thomas says to Beatrice before he dies is "Beatrice... Don't be afraid..." The final shot of the scene slowly pans out and lingers on Beatrice as she cries over her parent's dead bodies.

I wanted to laugh my ass off at the ponies. They had all gasped when Martha and Thomas got shot, and by the time the scene was over half the audience was a blubbering wreck and the other half was silently gushing tears. I would also like to mention that that was only the first 15 minutes of the movie.

So we had a ten-year time skip. A twenty-year old Beatrice is being all broody about her dead parents and the high crime of Gotham City in her mansion. Alfred tries giving her a motivational speech at the mansion, Rachel tries giving her a motivational speech on the way to work, Lucius Fox zebra tries giving her a motivational speech after an important business meeting, Carmine Falcone griffon gives her a demotivational speech at a bar, and then Beatrice decides to board a ship and travel the world looking for a purpose.

We get a montage of Beatrice monologuing to herself about how  black and white morality was stupid and childish and other philosophical stuff like that. She traveled through foreign cities of griffons, minotaurs, zebras and other races. Special emphasis was given to the part where she goes to a kirin temple and learns about martial arts, willpower, and mastering her fear. I left out the League of Shadows because that's not the story I want to tell.

Beatrice returns to Gotham, reconnects with her friends, meets Harvey Dent earth pony and Deputy Gordon unicorn and starts secretly preparing for her war on crime. We get a quick montage of her creating her crime fighting gadgets and designing her costume with Alfred and Lucius.

We cut to the city docks at night. Falcone and his thugs are there selling a shipment of drugs to some crooked royal guards. Suddenly, Falcone's thugs are picked off one by one in the shadows. The royal guards escape and soon it's just Falcone hiding in his personal carriage. A pair of hooves burst through the roof and pull him upward face-to-face with a masked Beatrice.

"Who are you?!" Falcone asks.

"I'm Mare Do Well." And then Beatrice punches Falcone unconscious.

Gordon and the cops arrive just in time to see Mare Do Well leave and arrest Falcone and his goons.

Mare Do Well stands atop a roof, her cape billowing. The scene fades to black.

We're only 40 minutes into the movie.

The screen stays dark for a few seconds, then it cuts to an aerial view of some skyscrapers. What ensues is the opening scene to The Dark Knight.

Nobody made a sound, but I could tell from their faces that the ponies were very uncomfortable. The tense stringy music and bank robbers in creepy clown masks seemed to affect them more than humans. They shifted in their seats when the robbers fired a few rounds in the bank and started yelling at people.

"That's funny, it didn't dial out to 911 it was trying to reach a private number." One of the ponies on the roof said.

"Is it a problem?" The other pony said.

"No, I'm done here." He was promptly shot in the back. The audience gasped.

I heard Big Bucks mutter "Yeesh, no honor among thieves."

The ponies were tense throughout the whole scene. The bank manager (who was a unicorn) pulling out a shotgun, the robbers literally shooting each other in the back, the bus crashing through the wall. But the part that really set them on edge was the Joker's big unmasking. By the way, Joker is an earth pony in case you're wondering.

"Look at you," the mob bank manager unicorn said, "What do you believe in, huh? What do you believe in?!"

The Joker stuck a smoke bomb in his mouth. "I believe that what doesn't kill you simply makes you..." He took off his mask and we got a full close up of his mutilated face, "...Stranger."

Many in the audience physically reeled back in their seats. Some started to look sick and I even heard one mare scream.

The following three scenes were as follows. Beatrice and Alfred are in the secret base under Wayne Manor talking about the Joker, Harvey Dent, and the fact that there is a love triangle forming between Beatrice, Harvey, and Rachel (Puts the actual film in a different light oh ho ho). Next we have Harvey and Gordon talking about corruption in the system and what to do with Mare Do Well. Then we have Mare Do Well and Gordon meet outside of Gordon's house, both questioning whether the other is trustworthy.

I knew the ponies wouldn't react too much to all that, but I knew they were in for a treat for the following mob meeting scene.

Mob bosses Sal Maroni griffon, Gambol zebra, and Chechen earth pony are talking about Falcone's arrest, the problem of Mare Do Well and the Joker's robbery. No, there is no Lau because I didn't want to do that subplot, Beatrice literally just crossed the globe in the previous act. To do that again would be repetitive.

Then the Joker walked in, laughing in a dry, sarcastic manner. "Ahahahaha. Oh hee, ha, ho, hee, ha. And I thought my jokes were bad."

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off." Gambol said.

"How about a magic trick?" The Joker put a pencil on the table. "I'm going to make this pencil disappear."

Gambol's henchman went up to the Joker. The Joker slammed the henchman down and the pencil went through his eye and into his head, killing him. "Ta da! It's gone."

"AAAAAAAHHH!!!" Was the general reaction of the audience. They already knew by this point that the Joker was a ruthless villain, but they were expecting a Mane-iac ripoff not... this.

After that we have Mare Do Well, Gordon, and Harvey meet on top of the police building. They talk about how they need to start trusting each other and work together if they are to take down the mob and the Joker. Next scene is of Lucius showing Beatrice some gadget upgrades.

Now we have Gambol playing pool in his home. "Hey Gambol, there's somebody here for you. They say they've just killed the Joker." One of his henchman says. "They brought the body here."

A full bodybag is brought in and placed on the table. Gambol opens it and sees that, yes, it really is the Joker dead.

Gambol smiles to those who did the deed. "So, dead. That's 500."

And then the Joker jumped up and put a knife to Gambol's mouth. "How about alive, hm?" The ponies shrieked at the sudden jumpscare.

"You wanna know how I got these scars?" As the Joker rambled on, the ponies got more and more freaked out. "And... why so serious?" Scare chord and cut away shot. Half the audience looked away and the other half was scared stiff. The ponies were nervous wrecks now. They were expecting a superhero movie, not a horror movie.

The rest of the show was pretty much like this.

Harvey talking with the Mayor? Calm ponies. Dead Mare Do Well copycat suddenly appears in front of window hung on a noose, followed by freaky video message? Scared ponies.

Party scene? Calm ponies. Joker crashing party, sexually creeping on Rachel, and Mare Do Well popping up and fighting Joker? Scared ponies.

Epic chase scene in which Joker is captured and has a memorable interrogation with Mare Do Well? Tense, but still calm and collected ponies. Joker breaking out via cell phone bomb inside goon, Harvey getting half his face burned off and Rachel dying in an explosion? Speechless ponies.

"Harvey, it's okay, it's alright... some-" BOOM!

All the ponies were mutely staring at the screen with wide eyes and dropped jaws. They were NOT expecting that. Big Bucks turned his head to me. "You killed the best friend?!"

I gave him a shit eating grin and shrugged.

The following scenes were mostly of Beatrice feeling guilt abut how she couldn't save her best friend. The audience was in full on despair mode now. Apparently killing the best friend in a movie was just something you did not do in an Equestrian film. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming, given the setting. Friendship is magic and all that.

The scene where the Joker corrupts Harvey into Two Face was kept mostly the same, but I added a couple unique lines to my version.

"Anarchy and chaos are not the same thing," Two Face growled. "Chaos is just randomness. It can be good or bad. You're just anarchy. You're just evil."

The Joker smiled and shrugged. "Well, to each their own."

Take THAT ponies and your simple childish views on chaos!

So Two Face went crazy, Mare Do Well caught the Joker, the boats did not blow up, and Two Face died. Mare Do Well told Commissioner Gordon that she would take the fall for Harvey's crimes, and escaped into the night as the rest of the cops and royal guard chased her.

"She didn't do anything wrong!" Gordon's son exclaimed.

"Because she's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now," Gordon explained. "So we'll hunt her, because she can take it. Because she's not our hero. She's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. Mare Do Well."

The movie ended at a solid two hours. The end credits started.





The audience was dead silent for a minute. Then they started talking among themselves.

"What a crappy ending."

"That was scary."

"Why did the bad bad pony live but the good bad pony died?"

They were all in the middle of filing out of the theater when the screen cut to Beatrice in her mansion. She stopped when she saw a pony by the window. "Mare Do Well, huh?" The stallion said. "You think you're the only superhero in the world? Ms. Wayne you've become part of a bigger universe, you just don't know it yet."

"Who the hell are you?" Beatrice demanded.

"Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD."

"Huh?"

"I'm here to talk to you about the Justice League."

The end credits resumed. The general reaction of the ponies was a confused "What the?"

Opening day to the public was a couple days later. Mare Do Well grossed 2 million on opening day, and by the time its theatrical run was over a couple months later, it had grossed just over 1 billion. Reviews were split. Half of the critics praised it as one of the greatest movies ever, while the other half called it needlessly scary, dark, and 'unpatriotic' for depicting corruption in Celestia's royal guard. ...Hm, maybe the latter has a point about corruption in the royal guard. There's no doubt that they're incompetent pussies, but I don't recall any villainous guards from the actual show.

I had two meetings with Big Bucks during Mare Do Well's theatrical run. The first was a couple days after opening day.

"WHAT IN TARTARUS WERE YOU THINKING?!" He yelled. "You said you wanted to make a superhero movie, not a snuff film!"

Well apparently snuff films exist in Equestria. Moving on, this was my response. "I wanted to make a superhero movie that also happened to be a crime thriller."

"The parents at Celestia's Morals are going to have a shit fit!"

"Mare Do Well is a movie for adults, not for children. Hey, we can use that against them! How dare you take your child to a movie for adults!"

"Oh my god, John, it's not that simple."

"Sure it is boss, all we need to do is fix the rating system. We need something between PG and R. *cough*PG13*cough* Yeah, that'll make everything better."

"It's not just the parents of traumatized children you'll have to worry about. The press will be out to get you. The more underhanded newspapers will no doubt depict you as some sort of psychotic anarchist."

"I'll need makeup and a purple coat."

"Will you take this seriously already! Your job is on the line here! I and the other executives are seriously considering firing you!"

I gave him an even look. "Tell me, Big Bucks, did you like the movie?"

"Did I what?"

"Did you like watching the movie?"

"Well, yes..."

"Did it excite you? Did it captivate you? Did it make you ask questions?"

"Well, yeah! It was fun to watch, I guess, but it was really risky. It was too different from what the public is used to."

"Then let the public decide."

"Eh?"

"I'll make you a wager. If Mare Do Well makes more than 100 million bits before its theatrical run is over, I continue having free reign in making whatever movie I want."

"And if the movie doesn't?"

"Then you can keep a metaphorical leash on me, and I will conform to Applewood standards."

Big Bucks rubbed his chin, then smiled and leaned over his desk. "John Miles, you have yourself a deal." We shook hooves.

Like I said earlier, Mare Do Well ultimately grossed 1 billion bits.

When we met again a few months later, Big Bucks just gave me this flat glare. "How did you do it."

I shrugged and had a dopey expression on my face. "LOL I dunno."

Big Bucks close his eyes and shook his head. "Alright, fine, you win. However you made that movie, it made a lot of money, so keep doing it."

I did a victory hoof pump. "Yes! Art prevails!"

"Right. Say, if you don't mind me asking, what was up with that eye patch pony during the end credits? And what the hay is the Justice League?"

"Oh, that was just a sequel hook."

"For another Mare Do Well movie?"

"Nope! You see what I'm gonna do is do four more solo superhero movies, then the sixth film will be a big team up crossover!"

"...So, you're gonna introduce each of these heroes in their own films, one at a time, and then bring them together?"

"Yeah."

"And then this Justice League is supposed to be your version of the Power Ponies?"

I frowned. "No. The only thing the Justice League will have in common with the Power Ponies is that they're both superhero teams. And that's it. Besides, the Justice League will be way cooler than the Power Ponies."

"That's a big claim. So how long until this Justice League movie actually becomes a thing?"

"Oh, not for, like, at least five years. Oh! That reminds me! You wouldn't mind if I directed two unrelated movies back to back would you?"

"Now hold on there, you're good but I don't think you're that good. Making two movies at the same time is incredibly hard work."

"That's why one is going to be a low budget horror and the other will be the second installment of my Justice League series."

"Well, you won our wager, so I might as well let you deal with the consequences if this blows up in your face. Hit me. What's the scary movie about?"

"It's about an old pony who puts other ponies into deathtraps, and they have to find a way out before they get chopped up. I call it Saw."

"...Right. And your next superhero?"

"Okay, so bear with me on this. A big green dragon of absurd power awakens from his ancient slumber to stop another big gold dragon of absurd power from destroying the world."

"So what's the title?"

"Gojira."