//------------------------------// // 5: Research, Earth Pony Style // Story: Space Captain Pinkie Pie // by terrycloth //------------------------------// It did not involve a giant see-saw. It involved a giant jelly jar, ten feet tall, sealed with a giant canning lid, with Applejack inside, eyes closed and hooves pressed against a small apple tree. The tree was planted in a thick layer of dirt at the bottom, and somehow had all its leaves despite the season. Rainbow Dash was outside with a stopwatch, while the rest of the Apple family gathered around watching, occasionally cheering her on. “Please tell me you’re not timing how long until she suffocates,” Twilight Sparkle said, approaching the small crowd. “Well…” Rainbow Dash said, “it’s kind of a contest?” “There’s no contest!” screeched an old green mare. “Applejack already kicked your patootie, and now she’s going for the world record!” “It was a contest,” Rainbow Dash said. “Granny Smith said trees make the air breathable, and we wanted to test it. You know, for science. Only science is boring, so we made it a contest.” “Which you LOST!” Applebloom said with a grin. “Photosynthesis does produce oxygen,” Twilight Sparkle said, leaning close to the jar to get a better look at Applejack. “I’m surprised a tree that small can produce enough for a pony. Are you sure she’s alright in there?” “Ahm fine, Twi,” Applejack said, not opening her eyes. “Photo-right. I know I’ve heard that word,” Rainbow Dash said. “So I understand completely, and you don’t need to explain.” “When sunlight hits the leaves…” Twilight started, anyway. “Leaves! That’s how she’s doing it!” Rainbow Dash shouted, then tapped on the glass. “Hey! Cheater! How come you didn’t tell me the tree needed to have leaves?” “You didn’t ask,” Applejack said, smirking. “Sides, the tree looked just the same when I went in the jar as when you did. Not my fault if you’re no good with plants.” “She must be using Earth Pony magic to make the tree grow in winter,” Twilight said, taking out a notepad and quill as she continued to observe the process. “And probably put out extra oxygen, too.” “Ah ain’t usin’ no magic, Twi,” Applejack said. “You just gotta know how to talk to the plants.” Pinkie Pie’s hooves thwacked against the side of the jar, as her slow, quiet, approach finally reached its natural conclusion. “Let me try! If I’m going to go play with moon ponies, I need to prove I can talk to anypony. Even a leafypony. Treepony?” “Timberpony?” Applebloom suggested. “It’s just a tree, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said. “Those too!” Twilight concentrated for a second, and in a purple flash, Pinkie Pie and Applejack switched places. “Hey!” Applejack said. “What about my record?” “Do you even know what the world record is for an Earth Pony meditating on growing a tree in a giant jelly jar?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “Fifteen days,” Applejack replied. “And now I gotta start all over.” “Soooo…” Pinkie Pie said at last, after staring at the tree for a while. “How are you doing today, Mister Leafybottom?” “That’s not his name, Pinkie,” Applejack said, turning back to the jar. “Barktholemew?” Pinkie Pie guessed, addressing the tree as she bounced around it. “Bigtwig? Blossomforth? Ooh, he liked Bigtwig.” “Really?” Twilight Sparkled asked, approaching the jar and watching Pinkie closely. “How could you tell?” Pinkie Pie nuzzled up against the tree’s young bark. “Can’t you see his big leafy smile? He’s my special somesapling.” “What?” Applejack said. “Get away from Mister Knobblysticks! He’s mah tree!” “Not anymore!” Pinkie Pie said, turning her head away from the farmpony. “We’re going to be married, in the spring.” She bounced to her feet and started dancing around the tree on her back hooves, one forehoof hooked around its narrow trunk as she burst into song. Hi hi hi mister leafy leafy tree! I I I am your bestest friend Pinkie! Why why why won’t you shake your little leaves! Fly fly fly into the sky sky sky so very high high high to the mooooon with meeeeee! The tree shook back and forth as she circled and sang, until with her last extended chord, it suddenly lost all its leaves. Pinkie Pie blinked from under the leaf-pile. Granny Smith sighed. “You went and oversold it, you silly filly. You gotta move slow with apple trees.” “Really, Pinkie, you can’t bring up marriage on the first date. That always scares the colts off,” Rainbow Dash said. She noticed everypony was looking at her . “Or, er, so I’ve heard.”