Knave Of Swords
There are quite a lot of things you don't want pointed at you. Horns, knives and hooves all make the top ten, but number one has got to be a loaded Applejack with her fuse at an all-time low.
“Now y'all listen here, Twi. Ah'm not accusin' y'all of butchering mah tree, but y'all have to admit, it's suspicious. Who else around here can teleport? Most of us all don't hold no truck with that sort o' hocus pocus,” Applejack snarled, the brim of her hat down low over her eyes.
A second ticked by as Twilight mentally translated this. She wondered if it was rude to fetch a book to help her, but eventually she got the gist.
“Applejack,” she began, face and eyes open, “Why exactly would I want to butcher your tr-”
“His name was Oakley!” Applejack yelled, and Twilight realised that something very bad had happened. Or was about to.
“-Oakley? I mean, what would I use the wood for? I mean, I have a door. And I don't have a log fire, because, well, the library is sort of in a tree.”
“How would ah know? All I know is that somepony was skulkin' round Sweet Apple Acres last night, and they teleported away just as I got ahold of 'em. Ah only know one unicorn who can teleport, and you're it!”
Twilight frowned. As much as she hated to admit it, Applejack had a point. The evidence- all one pieces of it- seemed to point straight at her. She felt the onset of panic. What if she got put in prison? It wasn't like the movies, where they'd give her twenty four hours to clear her name and find the real criminal. No, it'd just be wham, bam, thank you m'am, get in the jail cell and rot for the rest of your life if you'd be so kind. And she didn't even have a checklist for going to prison! She began, very quietly, to panic. Spike, having cautiously blended into the background and out of the argument, looked at her knowingly.
“Just so you know,” he whispered, “No, you're not too pretty to go to jail.”
Twilight's horn flickered, and somewhere upstairs a quill scribbled 'kick Spike' into her checklist.
“Applejack, I haven't done a thing. I have no reason to. But I'm always ready to help a friend in need. We'll look for this tree killer together!” she tried. Applejack lowered an eyebrow and peered at her appraisingly.
“Well, one of your friends has a problem. Isn't that convenient? Now you've got something to write to Princess Celestia about. I noticed nothing had happened for a while,” Spike chipped in, and Applejack's glare deepened. Upstairs, Twilight's enchanted quill added the word 'hard'.
“Y'all sure you didn't kill Oakley?” Applejack asked suspiciously, voice rising at the tail end.
“I'd remember it if I did,” she deadpanned. Applejack kept glaring for a moment, then huffed a sigh.
“Ah guess I knew already that y'all didn't do it, sugar cube. I just wanted to make sure. Ah mean, if it were you, you'd have a purty good reason,” she admitted, taking a step towards Twilight. “But ah could really use your help.”
Twilight smiled. Applejack smiled back. Spike didn't. Spike moved about a foot backwards, because he was smart. He'd already learned the ropes of the town, so to speak, and he'd noticed that Twilight was standing in front of an open window. Whenever Twilight stood in front of an open window, there was a twenty percent chance Rainbow Dash would go through it at five bajillion miles an hour. Twenty percent was the only percentage Rainbow Dash knew. To her, twenty percent was as good as a hundred. Spike was expecting a crash.
What he wasn't expecting was for her to come through the roof.
Sometimes, Twilight honestly thought her cutie mark looked the way it did because she spent most of her time seeing stars flutter around her head. It didn't help that Rainbow Dash's rump was on top of it.
“Rainbow Dash! Y'all have to stop doin' that...” Applejack muttered. “How y'all managed to pay for repairs all the time is beyond me...”
“I'm sorry, girls. Some bird brain trimmed my left wing when I was sleeping, and now I keep veering off to one side. When I find the one who did it, I'm gonna show 'em my famous Flying Tombstoner!” Dash groaned, standing up.
“Some ponies use windows to go to and from people's houses,” Twilight complained. “I mean, doors.”
“Y'all think whoever clipped Rainbow Dash's wings is the one who killed Oakley?” Applejack asked.
“Applejack, that's crazy. It's a coincidence,” Twilight said, but it sounded silly even as she did.
“When have y'all ever known anythang around here to be a coincidence? Say, Dash, y'all think it was a unicorn that did it?”
Rainbow Dash took a moment to remember. “Nope. I was sleeping at home. They would've had to walk on clouds.”
“Well, ah know one unicorn with a spell to let her walk on clouds,” Applejack muttered, and sent another dark look at Twilight. The unicorn groaned.
“Hey, you guys? It's blatantly someone trying to frame Twilight. I mean, come on. Law of narrative interest,” Spike said. The ponies looked at him, and decided that the safest option was to ignore him.
“Well, we'd better get goin' if we're gonna catch this crook. Rainbow Dash, you in?” Applejack asked.
“You bet. I'll race ya!” the pegasus replied, and, in a rare move, left the house through the door. Applejack followed at a gallop.
“Hey! Aren't you gonna do anything about the hole in the roof?” Spike called as Twilight made to follow them. She stopped, and thought. She had one last thing to do before she left.
She kicked Spike. Hard.
A/N: Eww. For some reason, I just do not like this chapter. Oh well.