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// Dead Ponies Tell No Tales (Talesssss...) 
// Story: Ynanhluutr 
// by Imploding Colon 
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	"You still with us, harpy?"  Sinrar squinted up from his pile of maps, smirking into the sunlight.  "Looks as though you didn't get a wink of sleep last night!"

"Mrmmmfff..." Rainbow rubbed her forehead, blinking blearily.  "I... uh... I had a lot on my mind."

Twilight Sparkle winced, hiding behind the Swan Song's central hull.

"Wanna go below and have yourself a wink or two?"

"Nah."  Rainbow fought a yawn.  She crept over to the ship's edge, took a deep-deep breath, then dunk her skull into the rippling waters.  Tossing her dripping mane back, she smiled wearily at the professor.  "Just as good as ever!"

From the ship's stern, Nick chuckled, pulling at the rudder to steady the craft as it churned its way east.  "You're made out of strong stuff, Rainbow."

"And don't you forget it," the mare muttered.  She crawled over towards Sinrar's side and squatted at the entrance to the cabin.  "So... any progress?"

"Depends on how you define progress, young one."

"Have you figured more or less where we're going?"

"Lady... you are the one with a phantom's eye view on our destination."  Sinrar gestured at his maps.  "All I can tell you is what we might run into along the way."

"Gotta phrase it his way, Rainbow," Nick said.

"Fine."  Rainbow rolled her eyes, then firmly spoke:  "Have you figured out what geographical or oceanographical phenomena we might run into if we take the path I'm leading us?"

"Oui.  As a matter of fact, I've contemplated several."

"Well, do fill me in, Dr. Dude."

Sinrar adjusted his beret then pointed at a cluster of crescent shapes.  "These... are the Serrated Reefs.  While we're not headed right for them exactly, I would suggest bending our trip a bit south, just to be safe."

"Just to be safe from what?"

"From the larva's ship here being ripped straight through by ancient, petrified coral formations."

"Ah.  Yeah.  That's a good reason."  Rainbow tilted her head back.  "Hey, Nick, think you can bend us south a bit for the next hour or two?"

"Caaaaaan do!" Nick said, adjusting his grip of the rudder.

As the ponies' bodies swayed, Sinrar re-gripped the maps and continued speaking:  "However, no amount of swerving is gonna help us avoid the Western Jets."

"What're those?"

"Warm winds that carry themselves in a swift, northerly direction," Sinrar explained.  "It's going to make things a bit choppy for a day... maybe two.  But once we're through that, we'll run across the first dry land in several hundred miles."

"Oh yeah?"

"First..."  Sinrar pointed.  "There's the Tortoise Archipelago.  It's a series of presumably uninhabited islands.  Very hilly.  Lots of volcanic rock."

"What do you mean by 'presumably uninhabited?'"

"Ehhh... bunch of hippies tried moving there.  Formed a colony of sorts that was free from both Colonial and Continental economy."

"Did they succeed?"

"You mean before or after they all died of dysentery?"

Rainbow Dash shuddered.  "Right.  So... avoiding that place..."

"You sure we should?"

"Uhhh... why not?"

"You tell me, Miss Compass," Sinrar spat.  "We getting close to your destination or not?"

"Uhhhh..." Rainbow squinted at the east horizon.  Yaerfaerda shimmered as faintly as ever.  "It's kinda hard to tell."

"Hrmmf... figures."

"Anything past the Turtle Archipelago?"

"Tortoise."

"Whatever."

"Yes, actually."  Sinrar drew his hoof across the map.  "And by that point, we'd reaching the eastern edge of Colonial waters."

"Is... uh..." Rainbow squirmed where she sat.  "Is that a bad thing?"

"Hmmm?  Oh no, hardly."  Sinrar bore a wrinkly smile.  "I wouldn't get my panties in a twist until we reached Rohbredden proper."

"That's not the goal here."

"Don't worry.  I'm sure the larva's ship would fall apart before we even tried to sail that far."

"I heard that!"

"Heheh... but anyways..." Sinrar's hoof stopped at a circular array of tiny landstrips.  "This place... I do believe I've breezed past it once during my travels."

"Is it also full of dead ponies and volcanic rock?" Rainbow rasped.

"Mrmmff.  Hardly.  Last time I checked, it was heavily populated by a bunch of wet hooves."

"Erm..." Twilight tilted her head about.  "What are 'wet hooves?'"

"Wet hooves?" Rainbow's voice cracked.

Nick spoke up from the other side of the boat:  "It's a term everypony in Kihutaja gives to islanders."

"Uhhhh..." Rainbow squinted.  "Forgive me if I sound like a dirtbag, but aren't you all 'islanders?'"

"Heh.  Not even remotely."  Nick winked.  "Okay, so I get the technicality schtick, but no matter how much you wring the salt water out of the likes of the Professor and me, we will still be the descendants of Continentals at heart."

"I don't get it," Rainbow grunted.

"'Wet hooves,' mademoiselle," Sinrar explained, "refers to ponies who live so intimately with the sea that they might as well have their own sets of gills."

"They catch fish with their own limbs.  Build houses out of whatever the island gives them."  Nick shrugged.  "You know, real native stuff."

"Ahhhhh... 'wet hooves,'" Rainbow said with a nod.  "I get it now."

"You do?"

"No."

Twilight giggled.

Nick rolled her eyes.  "Let me put it this way.  Wet Hooves would rather swim across the ocean than use an actual boat."

"Are they friendly?"

"Pffft!  Stupidly!" Nick chuckled.

"Couldn't go to war with a swarm of butterflies if it killed them," Sinrar muttered.  "Although..."

Rainbow arched an eyebrow.  "What?"

The professor sighed.  "They're easily swayed by spiritualism... living so secluded from Academia and such."  He clenched his jaw.  "Lots of them around here—no matter how spread apart—are pretty loyal to the name of Verlaxion."

"Gotcha."  Rainbow leaned back.  "So... we're headed to one of their islands?"

"Indeed," Sinrar said, nodding.  "The Nealend Atoll.  Though, whether or not the First Seed is there or beyond remains to be seen.  I'm personally voting on beyond."

"What's the matter?"  Rainbow smirked.  "Not hankering for a chance to go native?"

"Mrrmmmfff..."

"Uhhhh... hey, guys?"  Nick stood up, squinting towards the southern horizon.  "I think I see something."

"The Serrated Reefs?" Sinrar remarked.  "We shouldn't be reaching them for several hours yet."

"Umm... unless reefs have sails and can intercept us, then I don't think it's that."

"Huh?"  Rainbow turned to look.  She flapped her wings and ascended slightly for a better view.

There was a flicker of purple on the horizon.  Then, swiftly cruising their way, a caravel approached.  It cut a foamy swath through the waters, adjusting its course to match the Swan Song.

"They're headed towards us..." Rainbow Dash muttered.  "Friggin' fast."

"A purple flag?" Twilight remarked.  "What could that mean?"

"Maybe they need help," Nick said.  "Those colors... could they be Colonial?"

"The mariners of the Southern Trade used to wave purple flags," Sinrar said.

"So they must be wanting to exchange goods!" Nick said.

"Imbecile!" Sinrar barked.  "The Southern Trade disbanded twelve years ago when a typhoon wrecked their island of operations!"  He slowly shook his head.  "That flag is a ruse.  We're dealing with privateers for sure."

"Well, okay, then!" Rainbow Dash smirked.  "Let's say 'hey,' see what they need, and then be on our way!"

Nick and Sinrar both turned to gawk at Rainbow.

Rainbow squinted back at them.  "...okay, I give. What is it?"

"Harpy, privateers are pirates."

"Huh?!" Rainbow blanched.  "They are?!  Since when?!"

"Mrmmmfff..." Twilight face-hoofed.  "I can't believe you didn't know that."

"Hey!" Rainbow folded her forelimbs with a pout.  "So I haven't done oceans a whole lot!  I'm used to fighting everything under the sun but pirates!"

"There'll be no fighting done here, my little pony," Sinrar grumbled.  "That ship's likely to have a crew of two dozen strong.  They'd overwhelm us in an instant."

"Oh jeez..." Nick whimpered, his coat paling.  "Oh jeez oh jeez!"

"Calm down, ya sissy," Sinrar rasped.

"Well... uhhh..." Rainbow fidgeted in midair.  "Maybe we can outfly them!"

"We don't all have wings, Rainbow!" Nick's voice cracked.

Rainbow winced.  "I-I mean... uh... outcruise them?"

"Not a smart idea," Sinrar said.  "Most pirate ships are built to outclass even the swiftest schooner.  If we try to avoid them, it'd only make them angrier by the time we caught up."  He shook his head.  "No, it's best that we try to talk our way out of this."

"T-talk?" Nick stammered.

"Oui."  Sinrar adjusted his beret.  "We're a small craft.  It's unlikely we have much that they'd possibly want."  He turned to squint at Rainbow's pendant.  "Save whatever glitters."

"Rainbow..." Twilight whispered, looking aside at Rainbow.

The pegasus clutched her necklace, eying the caravel as it came closer.  "Let's just... uh... try this one step at a time... huh?"

"Take a back seat, harpy."  Sinrar stood up, gripping his cane as he cracked the aged joints in his muscles.  "If there are to be any last words, let's let them be mind... oui?"