//------------------------------// // 9. My Reconciliation // Story: Three of Hearts // by Anzel //------------------------------// My back was rigid and sweat was slowly dripping down my temples. The light was really bright in my eyes. The room was hot, too. Far hotter than it should have been. Sunny Day sat on my desk shining the lamp right on me. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Azu. You have information. Classified information that I need to know. Do you think you can get out that door before I grab you?” A brief glance at the door told me that I probably couldn’t. Mr. Clockerson ticked quietly, unable or unwilling to help. “Answer the question,” Sunny pressed. “Why are you prancing today?” “I’m in a good mood! I prance. Ponies prance! You prance all of the time. You’re a prancer.” Sunny leaned closer. “And you expect me to believe that?” “Yes?” She giggled and switched my lamp off. “Liar, liar, flank on fire.” Whew. It was nice to be able to see again. “I had a good date if that is what you’re after. I still think it is weird that you want to know all about it. Yes, I know we’re just dating, but still. It would make me jealous.” “I’m not you though and it doesn’t bother me at all. The escapades of Azurite are of great interest to me and you spent the whole weekend shacked up with a stud.” “So?” Sunny Day put her hooves together and then stretched them out. “Sooo.” “It was nice? We had fun?” She pouted and sat back on my desk. “I’m not leaving until I get something good.” That would make paperwork exceedingly difficult. Appointments were also going to be really awkward. Oh just give her what she wants, Azurite! It hadn’t upset her before and if it did now it served her right. Although running her off would also suck. I liked her a ton. I liked Soarin, too. Rolling my eyes I said, “We played team sports Saturday night. It was full contact and he was the MVP a couple of times.” Sunny squealed with glee and clapped her hooves together. “Oh, I can just imagine what that looked like!” “Please don’t!” I gasped. “Nope! Too late. Already up here.” She tapped her helmet and hopped off my desk. “See you later, Azu.” She was halfway out the door before I spoke up. “Hey, Sunny?” Her head came back in. “Yes?” “I know I’ve been kind of a… well, a wreck when I’m around you. It means a lot to me that you don’t judge me for it.” Sunny’s expression became more serious and she stepped back in. “It’s okay, Azurite; really, it is. I’ve had a good time regardless. And you’re not a wreck. You’re a sweet pony that has feelings. Don’t be ashamed of that.” “Yeah… listen. I wanted to ask you something. Something kind of huge that I shouldn’t put on you, but... My counselor wants me to go see Sandy Shores. I haven’t been to see her since her discharge from the hospital. Probably because I’m a big coward. Could you come with me to see her? I feel like I could go if you were with me.” The unicorn nodded. “Yes, of course. When?” “This evening? I want to get it done so it isn’t hanging over me.” “Okay. We’ll go together. See you later.” “Yeah… thank you. Thank you so much.” ♥♥♥ “You’re going to be fine. I’m right here, sugar,” Sunny whispered into my ear. She was holding me against her chest. Another panic attack and not twenty feet from Sandy Shores’s house. My hind legs had given out and I was just sitting in the street shaking. The other mare stroked my mane softly. “You’re okay, Azu. You’ve come all this way. Do you want to go the rest or do you want me to take you home?” I wanted to go home. The stupid counselor didn’t know anything. She shouldn’t have sent me here! Just get up and go home. Sunny would understand. Go home, Azurite. Go home. My eyes clenched shut even tighter and I tried to stop trembling. “No. We’re here. I’m tired of running.” I forced myself up. Sunny helped. She lingered close to me as I marched to the door of the simple single-story house. My horn illuminated as my magic pressed on the little button to ring the bell. It felt like an eternity. Maybe she wasn’t home. I’d come and rang the bell. That was good. Time to go… the latch turned and the door opened to reveal Sandy. There she was… light yellow coat, ocean blue mane, and the chair. Her rump was settled in it, her hind legs dangling uselessly. Two wheels. “Azurite?” Sandy said with a gasp. “Oh, Celestia, you look awful!” My hind legs gave out again and I fell. Sunny caught me. The tears started and I sobbed, “I’m sorry, Sandy.” “Sorry?” my old partner asked, confusion in her voice, then looked at Sunny. “Please, come inside. She doesn’t look well.” Sunny took me in her hooves and helped me inside. “Thank you. Azurite wanted to see you today, Miss Shores. She’s had a hard trip here. I’m Sunny.” The unicorn gently laid me on a pillow. “You can call me Sandy.” She offered a hoof to Sunny. “I’m pleased to meet one of Azurite’s friends.” They shook hooves and smiled at each other. My eyes were stuck on the chair. I couldn’t look anywhere else. Sandy wheeled closer and looked down at me. “What’s the matter, Azurite?” Sunny would tell her. Sunny could do that for me. “I’ll be over here,” Sunny said as she backed away. Sandy lifted a hoof. Go ahead, hit me. I deserved it. She softly rubbed my mane and then angled my head up to look at her. “Azurite? What is wrong, honey?” How could she not know? “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” It was all I could say. It is all I did say over and over. Eventually I ran out of tears and Sandy seemed content to wait. I sniffed. “I did this to you,” I finally said. The mare frowned and her head tilted. “You did this to me? I seem to recall a drunk, angry stallion doing this to me. In fact, I recall you stopping him before he finished the job.” I shook my head. No, she had it all wrong and I told her so. I told her how I’d hesitated. How if I’d just done my duty sooner she’d be able to walk and have a completely pain-free life. Sandy just stared at me. “So you’ve been blaming yourself for almost a year… and for almost a year you haven’t come to see me. By Celestia, partner, I thought you were smarter than that.” “What?” My voice was meek. “If I blame you for anything it is not coming to see me. I could have used your help. When I needed my partner you weren’t there. That hurt me. Of course seeing you like this and finding out you thought it was all your fault… well, now I just wish I had been there for you.” “I’m sorry. I was too big of a coward to face you.” Sandy shrugged. “Neither of us came out of that the same. I got hurt but you had to kill a pony. How are you handling that?” “Not well. I have nightmares about it sometimes and his face… I can see it. Oh Celestia, and his foals.” The tremors started again. “His poor foals and you being out of work.” “Alright, you’re starting to make me angry with the ‘woe is Sandy’ bit. The royal guard takes very good care of ponies that are hurt while performing their duty. I almost get my whole paycheck. Plus I work at that grocery down the street. I’m doing fine… now as for that other stuff... Celestia help you because of the two of us I feel more sorry for you.” I wiped my nose with my hoof. She felt sorry for me? With weak knees I rose from the pillow before throwing my forehooves around her and hugging. She stiffened and then softly patted me on the back. “It’s okay, rookie. We’re both going to be fine. Maybe you could start coming to see me more often and we could talk about those nightmares. Okay?” “Okay. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.” “Me, too, but you can’t live in the past. All you can do is try to do better in the future. Now… can I get you and your friend some tea? Maybe we can catch up on things that are less traumatic?” I wasn’t ready to let her go yet. My hooves weren’t either so we just held on. Sunny’s voice came from across the room. “Maybe I should make the tea?” “Yes, I think so. Second cupboard on the left.” ♥♥♥ Sunny had a little couch in her office. It had been moved to be hidden behind a bookshelf that was turned out to face the door. It wasn’t for her to be lazy. It was more for the fact that the commander of Princess Celestia’s House Guard often had to stay late and sometimes needed a nap to keep going. It was Wednesday, she was still working, and I was laying on her couch watching. It wasn’t exactly what I’d call a date but we were together. We weren’t alone, but we were together. From my hiding place I could see Sunny but not who was on the other side of her desk. She looked tired. I wasn’t exactly in the know but I was sure this week hadn’t gone well. To be honest, it had surprised me she had even gone with me to Sandy’s. Sunny made time for me, though, and I appreciated that. “Sergeant, I understand your hesitation. You have big shoes to fill… but I can’t do this for you. Silent Knight left you in charge of this search. He had faith in you and so do I. It is your unit, not mine. If you narrow it down to some really close calls and you need an objective look, I’m here. Otherwise you need to use your best judgment.” The other voice was smooth, feminine, and clear. “I understand. I had to ask. You’ve been doing this a while and he… well, he’s just better at this sort of thing. I’d hate to mess it up.” “You won’t mess it up, Iridescence. You’re going to be his number two some day. The section is as much yours as it is his. Buck up, get your tail glued on right, and pick the ponies you think will be best for the job… and don’t go around Sergeant Orchid again. She has you doing this for a reason.” “Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll get back to it. Thank you,” the pony I assumed was Iridescence replied. Sunny Day nodded. “Dismissed.” She waited a good two minutes before slipping out of her chair, coming over and flopping next to me on the couch. “I’m going to murder him.” “Him who? I’m not very good at this sort of thing but I’ll lie for you. I’ll tell them you were in bed with me.” “Silent Knight. He is on special leave learning to be an officer which, in itself, is ridiculous. They should have just given him a field commission. Until he returns I’m technically in command of both House Guards and it is running me ragged. The sergeant over there still doesn’t feel like she is up to the challenge and Orchid is trying to show her she is. It was my hope that they’d run things themselves like he had.” “But if you murder him, you’ll still be in charge of both.” Sunny looked at me funny and then giggled. “Okay. So, I’m finally done. We can have…” She looked at her clock and then back to me. “A two hour date.” “Or, we can have a two hour ‘Sunny relaxes and doesn’t worry about Azurite’.” “Oh? You don’t want to go on our date?” she asked. “Not if I know it’s going to contribute to you being further exhausted. Besides, I can wait a little while longer. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Sunny softly snorted. “It’s a 12-week program.” My eyes widened. “Can’t wait that long!” We giggled together and I nestled up against her. “Come on, go home and get some sleep. I’ll be fine.” After kissing me on the cheek she got up. “How about a compromise? We won’t go out. We’ll go to my house. You make some dinner for us and we’ll just relax like a couple of old ponies.” “Deal, but nothing strenuous. You need your rest.” To emphasize the point I wagged a hoof at her. “You’re no fun but you have a deal. Come on. Let’s get out of here before somepony finds me. Oh, when we get there, remind me to teach you my lock’s spell, just in case you ever need to drop in.” ♥ 9 ♥