//------------------------------// // Power and Greed // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// A/N: All right! Time for me to tackle this requested fight. Here we go! (*sigh* If only I were this enthusiastic about the foreseeable outcome.) Properties belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Sony Computer Entertainment. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (21) ---Death Battle--- Rah! Smash! Burn! Oh, yeah! I'm feeling like a bad*ss playing through God of War... what? Oh, sorry. *Stashes away PS3 controller.* Welcome to the Death Battle parody, readers and viewers alike. Depictions of mythological confrontations flash across the screen. B starts, "This week we're bringing back another dead character by the powers of Death Battle." W states, "After several 'experiments', we've brought back Kratos after his unfortunate bout with Spawn. Today, the demigod of war will face an unstoppable force known as the dragon Spike." "Spike? He looks like a small, purple, lizard thing. What the hell are we doing?" "He's B and I'm W and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle." ---Death Battle--- A muscular white man with red face tattoos and a fierce look of intimidation is shown on screen. "For those of you that missed Kratos' fight with Spawn," starts B, "What's your excuse?" W is a bit less antagonizing and more professional, "Kratos is a demigod, raised up by the Spartans as their deadliest warrior. When his people were threatened to be overrun, he struck a deal with Ares the god of war. Ares gave him the strength to overpower his enemies. In exchange, Kratos became his willing pawn." "Unfortunately for Kratos, he got tricked into killing his wife and child and was punished with white, hot ashes covering his skin. The Michael Jackson treatment." "Betrayed by the gods of Olympus, Kratos' vengeful path of destruction began." Stats appear on screen as W continues. "He has demigod strength, speed, and power enough to topple the mighty Hercules. His default weapons are the Blades of Exile, bound to his arms by red-hot chains and can latch onto enemies with their hook design." "And like other ridiculously powered weapons," adds B, "they can catch on fire." "Kratos' strongest weapon is arguably the most powerful the Greek gods had to offer: the Blade of Olympus." "After killing Ares and becoming the new god of war, Zeus tricked Kratos into putting all of his god-like power into this sword, making him mortal once again. That said, the sword is a hazard to all of the toughest Olympians." "For defense, Kratos wields the Golden Fleece, capable of deflecting several magic-based attacks." "And Kratos carries a crap-ton of other weapons too. The Bow of Apollo can shoot rapid-streams of arrows or be charged to shoot fiery arrows." "The claws of Hades rip out the souls of their victims, though tougher opponents can resist them." "The Nemean Cestus gauntlets can create strong shock waves and stun enemies." "The Boots of Hermes give Kratos super speed and he possesses Icarus' Wings which allow him to fly. While Kratos is not invincible, it is very difficult to kill him." "Even suicide doesn't work right on him." "After killing every Olympian god above and below, save for Aphrodites, the Apocalypse had ultimately arrived." A cut scene shows Kratos riding the shoulder of a Titan. "Zeus!" yells Kratos, "Your 'son' has returned!" ---Death Battle--- The title screen parts to reveal a small, purple dragon with green spine scales. "After being hatched for an entrance exam," introduces W, "Spike was given to Twilight Sparkle as her assistant librarian and messenger. For all age purposes, he is a baby dragon." "You're telling me this infant is what we're pitting against this?" B asks as he pulls up a picture of Kratos, "Well... all right then." Stats appear as W continues speaking. "Spike is very familiar with the library's layout. He can usually find exactly the book Twilight is looking for long before she can." "It doesn't help that she pulls every single book off the shelf at once." "As Twilight's messenger, Spike is usually the one to write and deliver her reports to Princess Celestia via his fire breath." "Wait, his fire sends things to Celestia? Wouldn't her room get crowded with the amount of stuff he burns." "Actually, the enchantment seems to be in the scroll parchment rather than his flames. This would explain why anything else he breathes fire on turns to ashes." "Magic. It never explains *ess*t." "Like other dragons in the land of Equestria, Spike primarily eats various gems. If he starts gathering objects out of greed, he grows larger and gains an older appearance." "Oh that's ridiculous. What good would a few inches do for that guy-?" B is interrupted by a cut scene of an adult Spike crashing alarms, water towers, and buildings. "Woah! Ho ho! Never mind. That's freaking sick." "With a wingless grown appearance," W continues, "Spike can be classified as an Earthbound dragon, incapable of flight but still dangerous to any who oppose him. Also unlike his dragon brethren, Spike's linguistic skills get worse with age and growth." "This dragon has a Hulk complex." A scene is shown from the episode Secret of My Excess where Twilight Sparkle is tempting Spike with a broom. "Spike WANT!" roars Spike as he grows larger and hisses. ---Death Battle--- "All right," declares W, "the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all." "It's time for a warrior versus dragon Death Battle!" shouts B. ---Death Battle--- It seems to be a nice, sunny day in replica Ponyville. Of course, appearances can be deceiving as a giant purple claw quickly smashes two of the replica houses to smithereens. A large purple, Earthbound dragon with green spikes roars loudly with his head swinging. Within camera distance (which is spanning a rather large mile) stands the Ghost of Sparta, undeterred and fully prepared for a day of slaying enemies be they gods or monsters. His Blades of Exile are already in hand. "FIGHT!" Kratos pulls out the Bow of Apollo and starts firing a stream of arrows at the giant dragon. Most of them seem to bounce off the scaly skin. Spike then shows his obsessive greed by grabbing a clawful of the arrows and holds them in close to his chest. He acts as if he's trying to keep them out of view of any onlookers. The demigod pulls one last arrow and holds it as it catches fire. He releases the arrow and the video runs in slow-motion for a second. The arrow then resumes its actual speed on its course toward the dragon. With a quick breath of green fire, Spike somehow extinguishes the red-orange flames and the arrow disintegrates. Spike's flame also manages to burn a couple of the replica houses in his path. Kratos lets out a humph before using his Boots of Hermes to race towards the dragon he faces. He pulls out his Nemean Cestus gauntlets and punches Spike's legs a few times. The dragon reaches down a claw as the Ghost of Sparta quickly rushes to the dragon's other side. He delivers a couple more punches that would normally stun a foe. Spike however is unfazed and slams his other claw on top of Kratos. He then lifts his claw to examine the damage. Though pride has been cracked, Kratos is far from beaten as he stands up. The demigod pulls out Icarus' Wings and starts flying away from the replica town. The dragon gives chase by land, crushing houses along the way. The camera changes view to a purple mountain range with a few large caves. This is where Kratos flies and consequently where Spike follows. As the Ghost of Sparta enters one of the caves, he puts away his stolen wings and drops to the cave floor. It's a bit of a tight squeeze for the behemoth dragon but he manages to crawl in as well. He breathes another stream of green flames at his attacker. Kratos stands defiantly and lets his shoulder wearing the Golden Fleece take the brunt of the forceful inferno. He pulls out his Blades of Exile and throws a few ranged hits against the dragon. Spike's chin loses a few scales and some blood spills. He roars and then charges in headfirst to bite his opposition. Kratos quickly attaches his hook-like swords to the cave ceiling and pulls himself up out of the way as Spike's head barely misses. Kratos then jumps down onto Spike's head, crunching it against the cave floor. He somersaults backwards as the dragon reels back in a roaring pain. The demigod launches his twin blades out by their chains and sinks them under Spike's head scales. He manages to force the dragon's head to smash into the left and right cave walls, the ceiling, and the floor. He then retracts his Blades of Exile and sheathes them. With the dragon dazed and in pain, the only one who can move is the Ghost of Sparta who happens to be charging forward right now. He pulls out his ultimate sword and jumps above Spike's head. The next audible sound is the Blade of Olympus impaling the dragon through the eye and lower jaw. More blood spills as Kratos pulls out his sword and holds it up in a victorious stance. He never smiled. The dragon heaves its final breath. "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- B comments, "Now that was burning hot Death Battle!" W reflects, "Spike's greed and overwhelming size would normally be a glaring advantage in a battle. However, Kratos is used to dealing with enemies like this all the time. His arsenal was useless against Spike out in the open, but he cleverly used the cave environment and his masterful swordplay to overcome size disadvantage." "Besides, one of Kratos' earliest triumphs was taking down a freaking hydra. Compared to that, this dragon fight was a walk in the park. Sit, Spike. Stay." "The winner is Kratos." A picture of the Ghost of Sparta appears with his name underneath. ---Death Battle--- Credits roll and we thank you for watching. --- A/N: Okay, so I pulled all of Kratos' facts straight from his original Death Battle. But really, where else was I supposed to get the best detailed information? Coming soon to Death Battle: Babies 'R' Us? Properties belong to their respective owners. I gain no profit for this. And now a moment of silence for our favorite baby dragon. ... R.I.P. Spike.