//------------------------------// // Ch.17: A Bright Fire! // Story: Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.5: The Comeback! // by trahzo //------------------------------// "Another fire chapter?" Asked Brak "What's going on here?" "Must be the next letter." Then Luna read the letter. "Next is...Flashfire, a super heroine dragoness who sends evil monsters back to Tartarus, she appeared as a comic book super heroine in Friends Forever Issue 14. Huh, okay, another dragon for Spike, begin the story." Spike, in his adult form was put in charge of guarding Tartarus while Cerberus was given his bath. "Okay, let's see here...we got...Grogar, check. Tirekt loser." "I'll kill you once I get outta here boy!" "Check. The Headless Horseman from Cirrhosisof the Liverpool." "Grr...check." "Miley Cyrus." "Let me outta here!" "Check. Alrighty, everyone is accounted for, except..." Then Spike saw that Nick the Cage had escaped. "Damn!" Then Spike hit the alarm, which put the entire dark realm of Tartarus on lockdown. "I hope she hear's the distress signal!" So the living cage heard the signal, and then began walking while watching his back. "Okay Nick, just calm down, just hope she doesn't find you, come-on, don't stress know, your creating condensation on your bars!" He said to himself until he bumped something! He turned around. "Hey." Said the red scaled dragoness. She wore a yellow mask, and had spines styled like hair. Her piercing blue eyes, intimidated Nick the Cage. "Oh...hi beautifu...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Later... "Hey security stud." Then she threw the living cage on to the ground in front of Spike. "Thank you Flashfire." "How come they made a handsome young man such as yourself watch Tartarus?" "How come you're real? A...are you just like A.K. Yearling? Writing exciting adventures from your life that really did happen?" "Maybe..." She teased. "So boy, feel like taking a break?" "Well, I guess since everyone is accounted for tonight...I guess I can clock out for the night." "Sweet!" Then Flashfire & Spike teleported in a spiral of flames. "No-one noticed me, Hahahahahahaha...HAHAhahahahahah...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH." "Oh boy, a floor bean!" "Wait, stop, I've been on the floor for more than 5 se..." Then one of the many guards assisting Spike ate Hannibal Bean, I mean seriously, a talking bean as a bad guy? Well anyways, after the Pegasus who looks like Pit from Kid Icarus ate Hannibal...wait a minute, the Pegasus version of Pit? Of course he'd eat food off the ground! Well, I shouldn't really be criticizing, since In real life, at age 16 I ate pringles out of the trash, at age 17 I ate a muffin off the ground & a halloween kitkat off the floor (shared it with a cute girl who knew it was off the ground), then at 18, I ate cookies out of the trash. Then when my bitch of a sister told my dad about it, I was given a talking to that if I'm hungry, then I should just tell him. Well anyways, we see Spike & Flashfire ended-up in Dragontown. "*Gasp!* It's..." Then Flashfire took off her mask. "Oh, it's just another hot chick I'll never get with." Said the nerdy teenage dragon holding a toy sword. "Wow, that reminded me of Nostalgia Critic's review of Zorro." Spike said, then face palmed. "So boy, where would you like to go 1st?" Asked Flashfire while putting her finger to Spike's chin. "Well..." That's when the teenage dragon came back. "Wait, you're Scaley Sue, the writer of the Flashfire stories, OMG I am such a huge fan!" "Would you get lost? I'm with someone much hotter than you!" Then the heartbroken fan walked away. "Wasn't that just to harsh?" "Yeah, but I really don't want fans just jumping at me, trying to interrupt this date." She replied. "D-date? I-I thought we were just hanging out." "Ha ha ha, I was just teasing you kid, now come, I know this one fun place where it's open 24/7." She said then took Spike to that place. Later...Spike covered his face. "Come-on kid, what'sh wrong?" Asked a drunken Flashfire. "I'm 20, I'm not allowed in these kind of places until I'm 21." "Yikes, this guy really needs to lighten-up." Said the stripper dragoness. "Thatsh shwat I keep on telling him!" She replied while her arm that was not holding the bottle of beer was around Spike's head. "Come-oooooooooooooooon, you're a big boy now, you get to shee naked ladiesh." "No, I don't like seeing stuff like this!" "Sherioushly? What's with all the damn moralsh? Thish ish the plash where you can shay fuck moralsh! Go-on, here'sh 10 bitsh, give it to the nice lady who's been giving us quite the show." "F-fine, here." Spike said while looking away. The stripper was about to get the bits from him until... "Drakes alike, prepare for the surprise guest appearence of..." Then fog cannons fired as the anounncer said..."Stripsie!" "WHAT?!" "Time for Stripsie to show you boys, the elegance of a pony's body." That was it for Spike, he bolted out of there. "Sheesh, what a coward." said the stripper dragoness. "I know right? Don't worry, I'll calm him down." Outside the strip club. "Hey Spike, you okay?" Flashfire asked while sober. "Why did you bring me there?" "So you can finally have some fun, look here's the truth...about Cerberus, the reason why you're guarding Tartarus." *Flashback* "Here boy, get the stick!" Then she threw the stick, Cerberus jumped & caught it, but then he fell and got impaled by stalagmites! *Flashback over* "Then after that I hid the body, but then killer whales ate the body, also I threatened the monsters not to say anything or they'll be in Tartarus with multiple things shoved up their ears, noses, and anuses, and vaginas for the female monsters." "So you're the reason why I can never take a day off?" "Yeah, I'm sorry about that but I really wanted to make it up to you tonight!" "You bitch! I missed Twilight's wedding, I missed the weddings of all of my best friends, I missed the funeral of Granny Smith, I missed Rainbow Dash becoming an official Wonderbolt!" "I know, but..." "I couldn't talk Celestia out of dating Discord, I never finished building Peewee his own bird house, I never..." That's when the Sorrowful Spike was silenced with a kiss. "Listen, I'm really sorry for doing that to you. I know I can't fix what I've done, but I want you to know, you're the greatest guard I've ever met." "And that's all I needed to hear!" Said a voice. "Who said that?" Princess Celestia then appeared. "Mom?" "Hey son." "What are you doing here Princess Celestia?" "I've been watching you Flashfire, wondering then you'd finally confess your sin, and now that you have, Spike, you wont need to guard Tartarus anymore." "What but what about the..." "Don't worry about it, All I have to do is fuse a Chimera & Orthros, and bam, a brand new Cerberus Puppy! Yeah, training a new Cerberus is hard, 3 times as hard as an Orthros, but on the bright side, I can just send him or her to Fluttershy. Now then, bye-bye son." *Flash!* "Wow, what are you gonna do now that you're finally free from those asshats?" Spike was crying tears of joy. "So I can finally go home to Ponyville...I CAN FINALLY SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN! THANK YOU FLASHFIRE!" "All in a days wo...Mph!" Spike kissed Flashfire right there in front of everyone. "Damn, that guy's so lucky, I wish I could kiss a comic book writer." Said a teenage drake. "Wow, now that was an unusual one, what's next? Shipping him with Spidermule?" *SMACK! or rather BITCH SLAP!* "Ow, what was that for?" "For saying one of the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. Also it's because The Author Despises Peter Parker X Twilight Sparkle."