//------------------------------// // 1. Never too Far from the Tree // Story: Horse-Trading // by TheJediMasterEd //------------------------------// “Fluttershy, we gotta talk.” “Oh…wh-what would you like to talk about, Applejack?” “It’s about that book you read t’ Apple Bloom an’ her friends th’ other day--th’ one about the tree?” “You mean The Giving--?” “…I don’t think it’s appropriate fer li’l fillies.” “But it won the Neighberry Medal for Foals’ Literature and—“ “I’m not sayin’ somepony up in Manehatten ain’t got a right t’ stick a medal on a book. I’m sayin’ what’s in the book ain’t right.” “In…in what way?” “Well looky here: first the colt takes all the tree’s apples an’ goes away, then he takes all the tree’s branches an’ goes away, then he cuts the tree down an’ goes away, an’ then he comes back an’ uses the stump to park his sorry ass, THE END. He don’t give the tree nothin’, he don’t even say ‘thank you'..." “Well I always imagine he did, it’s just that the author didn’t—“ “…an’ all the time the author’s callin it a ‘she!’ What kinda message you think that sends to a li’l filly what’s all young an’, an’-- impersonable? ” “That… love can be a beautiful thing, even when it’s sad? “What it says is, a filly’s gotta give an’ give an’ give an’ she cain’t expect nothin’ in return. That anypony comes along, she’s just gotta give ‘em whatever they want, no questions asked. You know what that story made Apple Bloom do? She gave away her lunch money four times last week…” “But I’m sure the poor underprivileged foal she gave it to was—“ “…to Diamond Tiara!” “Oh. Well, that was certainly inappropriate.” “You’re tellin’ me. Knew somethin’ was up by how hungry she was at suppertime. Thought that filly had another tapeworm.” “Another--?” “I mean besides the one she kept in a jar.” “What…what an unusual pet.” “Yeah, I kept tellin’ her, ‘I don’t care what that ad in the back o’ the comic book said, that ain’t no sea monkey!’ –Anyway ‘Shy, I know y’ di’nt mean no harm, but look at it from mah prospective… “Before ya know it, Apple Bloom’ll be growin’ up an gettin’ innerested in…in colts an’ all and she’s gotta have a good foundation about what t’ expect . Y’know, what’s acceptable an’ unacceptable, what t’say ‘no’ to, an'…an' what t’say ‘hell, no!’ to… “…an’ whadda ya think that ol’ story says, about what a colt can ask from a filly—an’ what she’s gotta give ‘im? Ever’thin’? Ever’thin’? An’ she cain't expect nothin’ in return? “Ah don’t want that for her--not that kinda colt, not that kinda life. I hope y’unnerstan’.” “Oh Applejack, of course I do! But the that’s not what the story’s about: it’s about unconditional love, the kind a mother has for her foals and…” “Whoa whoa whoa back up there…no, c’mon back, I mean back up to what you were sayin’—about ‘unconditional love?’ “Yes?” “You said that’s the kinda love a foal gets from a mare if the mare’s its mother.” “Yes…” “Ain’t that a big ol’ condition right there?” “Okay, um, maybe that’s not such a good…wait, what about Stanley? And Joshua? Don’t they show the same kind of love the tree in the story does? Isn’t that something worth, um, celebrating?” “Oh, fer…‘Shy. Look. Big Stan. Big Josh. Yeah, ah love ‘em . Heck we love all our trees. But we ain’t sentimental about ‘em. They live, they perduce, an when they cain’t perduce anymore we cut ‘em down an’ use the wood for somethin.’ Because they’re trees, a’right?. They don’t…symbolize nothin’.” “I understand, but…well, no…” “What?” “It’s not really…” “What, Fluttershy?” “I mean, if they don’t symbolize anything to you…” “Yeah?” “…why do you keep calling them ‘he?’ ” “…" "Yes?" “…I…" "Mm-hm?" “…I mean…” “...you mean?...” “What I mean is…look, I don't wanna get it into it now, ‘Shy. I gotta think about it. Okay?" “Oh, certainly. Yes. We can talk about something else… "Fine." “…how’s Big Mac doing, these days?”