//------------------------------// // She Likes 'em Big // Story: You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie woke up the morning after the massive reunion party alone. She did her best to not be sad about this. After all, she had tons to be happy about. She had returned to the world of her origins, which - as it turned out - was crafted in her image by the Titans out of fond remembrance of her. The Titans were all here and happy to see her. The Olympians could come back and forth at will for visits. The Cakes had no problems building a tower silo addition to the bakery so Kratos could live upstairs. She had reconnected with all her friends she suddenly remembered. And she had thrown one of her biggest parties ever. Still, she couldn't stop her mane from deflating slightly when she felt only her own warmth in her bed. She had thought that here, at long last, in her own homeworld, she'd find someone... Pushing herself to her hooves, she managed to be her usually cheerful self as she went about her daily activities. She spent a good amount of time playing with the twins, who were overjoyed to see her. Kratos was sleeping late, so she decided not to wake him. She also spent a good amount of her morning at the bakery, greeting and serving customers. Eventually, however, Mr. and Mrs. Cake suggested she take some time to readjust to Ponyville again, so she headed out to do just that. She made sure to visit each of her friends and talk a little bit about what had happened to her in Ancient Greece. Twilight had the most questions about it, although Pinkie's answers likely confused her more than appeased her, if her gradually increasing frustration were any indication. Rainbow had reveled in her discussions of the battles she had been in. Fluttershy had spent the entire conversation spoiling Fluffy, not that Pinkie minded. Most of Ancient Greece was probably NSFF, anyway. Rarity had been fascinated by the discussion of Ancient Greek fashion, both that of mortals and gods. Applejack had listened politely, but plainly lacked any frame of reference to truly enjoy the story, save for how she had helped save Hades and Persephone's marriage. After telling all her friends bits and pieces of the story, however, she found herself once more feeling a bit down. All of her friends had found her preoccupation with sex a little strange...save Twilight, who made a comment about different cultures and then glossed over the topic. Pinkie just didn't get it. All she wanted was to experience what it was like to join herself fully to another, even if only for a few moments. Gods and mortals alike had talked about the experience with great passion. She just wanted to know it for herself...but no one seemed to want to experience it with her. As she wandered, she spotted Big Macintosh towing a cart full of hard cider away from the barn. Smiling, she bounced over to him. "Hey Big Mac!" she called out. He turned and smiled at her. "Hey, Pinkie Pie!" he replied happily. "Say, could I have a bottle?" she asked, pointing at the hard cider. Big Mac blinked. "Pinkie...don'tcha think you had enough last night?" "Demigod powers mean I don't get liver issues, brain damage, or hangovers from too much alcohol," Pinkie explained. "And yesterday and last night was a celebration. This is therapeutic." Big Mac blinked in surprise, then unhitched himself from the wagon and popped a bottle open for her. "What have you got to be sad about, Pinkie?" Pinkie downed half the bottle in a single swig, letting off a satisfied but disconsolate sigh as she came up for air. "Big Mac...do you think I'm attractive?" Big Mac blinked, surprised by the question. At first, he was going to respond with his usual 'Eeyup', as he did find her attractive, but he felt more words were required. "Pinkie, I think you're a very beautiful mare." "Then why doesn't anyone want me?" Pinkie complained, taking another swig of her cider. Big Mac tilted his head in confusion. "Uh...what?" "I mean, I get that moral behavior is different here than it was in Greece," Pinkie explained. "But basic instincts and desires are the same! If a mare makes it plain she's looking for a good time, shouldn't there be some stallion who wants to take her up on her offer? Or a mare? I'll take anything at this point!" She threw her hooves into the air, sending the bottle flipping upward until it landed neck first in her mouth, letting her drink the last of the bottle. "But...but no one wants me...it wouldn't be so bad if I'd had some chances back in Greece...but Zephyros ran screaming any time I flirted, and the centaurs disemboweled themselves the moment I fluttered my eyelashes at them! Am I...am I really that awful? That...scary?" She sniffled, her mane starting to deflate. Big Macintosh winced, hating to see Pinkie like this. She was Applejack's friend, and an honorary Apple. He considered it his duty to try and cheer her up. Unable to think of anything else, he reached out a hoof and stroked her mane. "Big Mac...you're so nice..." Pinkie mumbled. "You listen to me at my worst...I know I'm making you uncomfortable, but you still try to take care of me...you're a great guy..." Big Mac shrugged. As far as he was concerned, he was just raised right, doing what any stallion in this situation would do. Pinkie sniffled, then turned to him, hope in her eyes. "Big Mac...do...do you want me?" Big Mac froze. Three thoughts ran through his mind. First, he did, in fact, find Pinkie physically attractive, and if he were the sort to pursue fantasies, she probably would have appeared in a few of them, the way she was always bouncing around the place so happy. Second, she was an honorary Apple, and as the Stallion of the Apple family, it was his job to try and cheer up any mare in the family who was getting depressed. Third, however, was what Applejack would say if she heard he was even considering something like this with one of her best friends. Finally, however, the sight of Pinkie being torn between absolute despair and desperate hope made only one answer acceptable to him: the truth. "Uh...eeyup?" The smile that appeared on Pinkie's face was like the first rays of the sun breaking through the clouds of a stormy day. "Do...do you wanna have sex with me?" she asked hopefully. Big Mac swallowed convulsively. In for a bit, in for a bushel, he thought to himself. "Er...eeyup?" Pinkie squealed happily, all traces of her sadness gone as she glomped onto him. "Big Mac, you are the best!" Big Mac shivered, feeling her vibrant - almost vibrating - form against his. He then thought about what would happen if Applejack caught them in the act, and decided that - hopefully - an overprotective Greek father would at least be more understanding. "Your place?" he asked hopefully. Pinkie Pie giggled. "Eeyup!" Kratos stretched as he woke up. From the position of the sun, he knew it was past noon, but he had partied until moonset, so he felt that could be excused. While Celestia had been a bit uptight, she had eventually unwound somewhat...but Luna certainly knew how to party. He never thought he'd see anyone win a drinking contest against a Titan and Pinkie Pie. Glancing over, he saw Luna was still snoring away in the hammock the Cakes had set up for her when it became plain she would not be able to make it back to Canterlot by sunrise. The moon doing a few loop-de-loops before setting may have been an indicator of that. He saw that Pinkie Pie had already set a hangover cure on the bedside table for Luna. Apparently, despite many other godlike traits they possessed, alicorns did not have divine immunity to hangovers. Chuckling, he decided to go check on Pinkie. If she wasn't in her room, than she would be somewhere around town spreading smiles. Still, it made sense to the God to check her room first. Walking up to the closed door, he knocked lightly. "Pinkie? You awa-" He stopped talking as the door swung slowly open. Pinkie lay on her side on the bed, looking completely relaxed, euphoric, and...the only way Kratos could think to describe it was 'frosted'. At the side of her bed sat a rather large stallion, looking over her with both concern and nervousness...but oddly enough, not looking too winded. Kratos actually took this as somewhat of a good sign, although the way the stallion turned to stare at him nervously was both good and bad. "...Big Macintosh?" Kratos asked. "Eeyup." He pointed to Pinkie. "Desperately wanted sex?" "Eeyup." "Nobody wanted her at the party?" "Eeyup." Kratos sniffed the air. "Asked you for some cider?" "Eeyup." "Poured her heart out to you?" "Eeyup." "Tried to comfort her?" "Eeyup." "Things snowballed because it was Pinkie?" "Eeyup." "Is she fertile just now?" "Nnnope!" "So no grandchildren from this?" "Nnnope!" "Care about her?" "Eeyup." "Planning on courting her?" "Err..." "Anytime soon?" "Nnnope!" "You made sure she enjoyed herself?" "Eeyup." Kratos nodded. "That's good." He turned to go. "Uhh...you're not upset about me...deflowering yer daughter?" Big Mac asked in concern. Kratos turned back. "I come from a different culture. Now that they've reached adulthood, any decisions of that regard for both my daughters are theirs to make. I might caution, I might express concern, I might try to pretend it doesn't happen...but I would never try to control it." He chuckled. "Beyond that, it's Pinkie Pie. She can command the gods and the Titans with cupcakes, and she killed the Fates. What chance do I have keeping her in check when I'm just her father? What chance did you have?" Big Mac chuckled nervously at that. "Eeyup." "So as long as she enjoyed herself-" "Creamy, creamy frosting..." Pinkie drooled. Kratos laughed. "Which she obviously did...I have no objections. Besides..." He knelt down beside Big Mac, coming eye level to the stallion who was massive on the scale of his own world but not on the scale Kratos was used to. "I know how much energy she has...and you outlasted her. I wouldn't dream of trying to scare you away." Big Mac chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head.