//------------------------------//
// Head Held High in Shame 
// Story: Echos of Foalhood 
// by reflective vagrant 
//------------------------------//

Lightning Dust walked uneasily away from the train station with an earth pony pulling a wagon behind her.  While on the train, she had briefly talked to the mare that was making the trip to deliver to a regular client.  As comforting as the mare's word were intended, they did little to ease the tension that had built on the train to Manehattan.
The friendly mare walked a ways together with her in supportive silence.  The blocks went by until the earth pony finally turned a corner towards her own destination, bidding her good day and good luck.
'Just do it Lightning Dust,' her mind screamed at her as she stood at the corner of the earth mare's departure.  'It's just up ahead.  Walk half a block, turn, take six steps up then knock.  It's not that hard.  Just do it.
That's what she knew she needed to do.  But her hooves felt like they had lead in them when she tried to move them forward.  Her wings weren't an option either.  Even if she could bring herself to use them here, she knew they would only fly her away, not towards her goal.  So she had to keep them tucked tightly to her sides.
'Don't,' her gut told her.  'There's nothing good for you there.  They want to-'
Lightning Dust shook off the feeling with a brief bout of stubborn rage and a mildly violent shake of her head.
"No!"  She finally spoke out loud to nopony in particular.  'And even if that's true...  If it comes down to it, you can run if they try that." Her breathing became a deep and mildly unsteady panting.
'but they won't.  She hasn't since...  Well you know.'  She wasn't really sure whether it was her mind or her gut slightly giving in that said that just now, but either way it gave her what she needed to force the lead in her hooves to move forward.
The lead was heavy the entire way and did not ease up even when she raised her hoof to knock on the door.  'Are you sure you want to do this?  You can still run away right now without them knowing you were here, but if you knock then there's no going back.  You can always run even after they see you, but you know what that will do.'  Her mind and gut said together, agreeing on something completely for the first time in days.
"Yeah, I know."  she said as she knocked loudly.  She breathed deeply for a moment to accept her fate.  "It will hurt-"
The door opened sooner than she expected and found herself looking into her father's eyes.  Her father stared back for several seconds, not moving.  Lightning Dust tried to form words but she couldn't get them out.
He came up to her and pulled her into the tightest hug she had experienced in years.  Though her fears did not dissipate in the slightest, they were momentarily shoved to the back of her mind.  'It will hurt them, badly.'  She did her best to bury herself into the down feathers that grew exposed down the entire length of her father's right wing.  They were as soft and fluffy as she remembered them.  'But not as badly as avoiding them altogether like I've been doing.'
Her head then shifted to the other side to rest in the normal position for a hug and moved her hoof around him to return the gesture.  After another second or two she felt something wet dripping on her shoulders.  She could hear him speak in a weak whisper.
"Are you hungry Lightning Dust?"





A few hours later Lightning Dust and her father were sitting in the kitchen.  They went through some of her dad's photos while they waited for her mother to get home.
He pointed to another photo with a smile.  "And this one had three different newspapers bidding on it to keep it from the others.  Managed to get a new camera with that one."  
With a hearty smile, she nudged her dad.  "You've gotten better at this.  Your little hobby has really blossomed.  You're actually getting out enough to make a profit on it now?  I'm amazed mom still let you out of the apartment building after..."  Her smile dropped as quickly as her voice.  Her eyes closed and she turned her head away from him beside her to face absently forward.
Her dad gave her a questioning look.  "What?"
She sat there under her father's gaze.  It wasn't an accusative gaze and she knew it.  But it still burned at her the longer he kept staring at her silence.
The front door rattled, distracting them both.  'Saved by the bell.'
They could hear the apartment door open and somepony called out,  "Plasma Wave, honey, I'm home.  Sorry I'm late."  Hoofsteps could be heard coming from the front door.  "I had to drive old Flambe off again.  I swear,  how many times will he keep pestering me about merging before he finally takes no for..."  The new pony's voice trailed off as her eyes landed on the unexpected guest.
'Out of the frying pan and into the fire,' Lightning Dust thought as she forced a smile, ears falling back in a reflexive fear.  "Hey mom."
Her mother's face beamed with joy.  "Sweet Celestia!  Lightning Dust!"
Dropping the few things she had, her mother quickly zoomed around the counter.  As Lightning Dust backed up a few paces at her zealous advance, she slowed to a walk and stopped an extra pace away.  The look of joy on her face shifted to an uneasy but accepting smile.
Her mom got a good look at her, tilting her head this way and that.  "You're here.  You look healthy.  Still preening like-"
"Mom!" Lightning Dust interjected with furled eyebrows.  The anger from her face melted after a few seconds of seeing her mother stand there, taken back slightly but still happy.  Her eyes went down to the floor and her ears drooped in sadness.  Her head subtly dipped ever so slightly but she brought it right back up subtly, as to not be noticed as anymore than a part of her gaze moving downward.
She took a slow breath, stepped towards her mother and gave her an uneasy hug.  "It's good to see you too."