//------------------------------// // The Human Herbivore // Story: Stallions of Equestria: Adam's Apple // by mr lovecolt //------------------------------// Chapter Six: The Human Herbivore “You should try to get a picture when you do it, Adam,” Pinkie Pie said with a grin so large that it took over half of her head. “I’m so happy that you’re feeling better.” “Thank you, Pinkie,” Adam replied as he hopped off of the steps at Sugar Cube Corner. “We’ll have to just see about the picture. If the foals here are like kids back home, I know they’ll get a good laugh.” Pinkie Pie’s hind leg shot into the air and shook. Her gaze narrowed and she turned towards the west, her usual smile now narrowing into a straight line. “You’re going that way?” she asked, pointing her hoof in the direction she had turned to. “As a matter of fact, I am.” “Hmm.” “Another Pinkie Sense, I presume?” Adam asked, trying not to roll his eyes. “We’ll see.” “I guess we will.” Adam took a few steps and turned back to wave, and Pinkie Pie waved back before stepping aside to let a pair of ponies enter the bakery. Adam patted the side of his satchel with a satisfied smirk and headed east towards Safety Pens, laughing to himself as he thought of how many puns ponies relied on. This should be fun, Adam thought as he passed a public park on his right. In the park, a family of unicorns sat on a checkered blanket; the mother and father levitated a ball in front of a filly. Adam watched as the filly’s eyes scrunched tight and her horn glowed. The aura that surrounded the ball slowly changed color to match her horn, and the parents smiled as the glow around their horns faded. Must be nice to respond to magic, he thought. Adam glanced at the ponies’ hooves before holding up his hands and wiggling his fingers. Though the tradeoff can’t possibly be worth it. Adam felt something hit his leg. He looked down to find another ball at his feet and bent over to pick it up. A small distance away, he heard the clatter of hooves and then a sudden gasp. When he looked up he saw a trio of colts staring wide-eyed at him. Two of the colts reached out and pushed the colt in the middle towards Adam, and the unwilling ambassador slowly make his way towards the human. “Um, can we have our ball back please, mister human?” the colt asked, his voice cracking. Adam smiled, reached into his satchel, and pulled out a marker. He drew a large pair of eyes and a goofy grin on the ball before holding it up to his face. “I don’t know,” he said in a mock-British tone. “Can you?” One of the colts giggled, and as Adam peered out from behind the ball he saw the other colt whisper into the first one’s ear. “May we have our ball back?” the colt huffed. Adam snickered and tossed the ball back to the colts. One of them flared out his wings and took to the air to catch it before the others could get to it and flew off into the park, followed by his earthbound friends. He snickered until he caught sight of the family from before, who were all shaking their heads with laughter. Adam coughed and continued on his way, making it only a few feet before he collided with another pony. “I’m so sorry,” Adam said as he picked up the pieces of paper that the stallion had dropped. He looked up and noticed that the stallion looked familiar. “Haven’t I seen you before?” “It is Mister Order,” the stallion replied with a snort. “Now, Mister Garnet, you should know to be more careful when you walk. With how large you are, imagine what would have happened had I been a little colt or filly.” Adam hunched his shoulders over. “I’ll be more careful next time, Mister Order.” “Well, I suppose this is a good thing,” Tall Order said as he picked up a piece of paper. “Give this to Miss Rarity when you return to her. I need to discuss the height of Carousel Boutique. It is currently in violation of one of our height codes.” “I can do that,” Adam replied. “Although right now I’m staying at Sweet Apple Acres.” “Really?” Tall Order said as he peered over his glasses. “Is there… something wrong, Mister Order?” “Nothing for you to concern yourself over,” the stallion replied. “Though it would behoove you to be careful where you stomp those feet of yours.” “I don’t stomp,” Adam muttered under his breath. “What was that, Mister Garnet?” “I mean… I don’t intend to look threatening,” he replied while rubbing his arm. “Now, Mister Garnet,” Tall Order replied, “threatening is not a word I would use to describe you. Furthermore, I—” There was a sudden explosion—both Adam and Tall Order found themselves covered in streamers and confetti. Around them, they heard the sound of fillies and colts cheering as they galloped towards the source of the explosion, which just so happened to come from a party cannon held by Pinkie Pie. “All right, my little ponies!” Pinkie Pie shouted, “guess who made too many sweets and has to give them all away?” The young ponies squealed in delight as Pinkie Pie passed around an assortment of sweets. Tall Order, meanwhile, readjusted his glasses, straightened his tie, and walked slowly towards the pink pony. “Miss Pie,” he said, “You know I have told you about Ponyville Town Code, Section—” “It’s not dusk, yet, Tally.” Pinkie Pie held a hoof to her chin. “No… Ordery? Talord?” Her eyes widened. “Give me a minute and I’ll come up with a good nickname for you.” As Pinkie Pie gave out the last of her candy and the foals galloped back into the park, Tall Order threw his head back and huffed, snatched the remaining papers from Adam, and trotted away. “Wait!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “Tilly Tally dilly dallied and then began to prance!” The moment Tall Order disappeared from view, she turned back to Adam. “But I don’t trust him—not one bit—‘cause he’s a meanie pants.” Adam brushed a few strands of confetti off of his shirt and patted Pinkie Pie on the head. “Let me guess… left hind leg shake means a confrontation is about to occur?” “Nope!” Pinkie Pie laughed. “It means there’s a bunch of ponies are about to have some fun!” She poked his side. “That means you, too.” “Thank you.” Adam smiled as he straightened his posture. Pinkie Pie gave another smile before hopping away. Adam looked down at the piece of paper Tall Order had left and stuffed it into his satchel. He turned back to the pony family from earlier, who had remained to watch the whole thing. They gave Adam a sympathetic smile and he returned a weak one of his own before continuing to meet up with Pokey Pierce. “So let me see if I understand this,” Applejack said as she carried another barrel into the barn. “You think the way to get Adam to notice you is to send him off with another stallion?” “Nope,” Big Macintosh replied as he reached down and picked up a white ribbon. “Then what were you thinkin’?” she asked as she lowered the barrel. “Those Katy's?” he asked, pointing to the barrel. “First of ‘bout ten barrels.” Big Macintosh looked up and pointed to a blue ribbon near the center of the barn. Applejack heaved the barrel on top of another one that sat under the ribbon. “Apple Bloom’s helpin’ out?” Big Macintosh asked. “Sure is,” Applejack smiled. “I swear I never realized just how big she’s—don’t go changin’ the subject on me, Big Mac.” Big Macintosh smiled to himself as he finished tying the last ribbon to the rafters. He took a step back and admired his work. “Why do the ribbons match on both sides?” “Looked at Adam’s work when I started,” Big Macintosh said as he picked up a loose piece of straw and started to chew on it. “Noticed early on the barrels on my side matched his.” “Applejack, I’m comin’ in!” The elder Apples turned to the barn door just as Apple Bloom came in, running on top of a barrel that was tipped on its side. She slowed her hooves and managed to stop the barrel inches away from the others. “Good job, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said as she threw her stetson on the younger sibling. “Now, bring in some others?” “Sure thing,” Apple Bloom shouted as she ran back out while trying to keep both the stetson and her bow in her mane. “So, you’re tellin’ me that Amy just put the same apples on both sides of the barn?” Applejack asked as soon as Apple Bloom was out of earshot. “Eeyup.” “That don’t make a lick of sense!” “Nope.” “That crazy mare!” Applejack shouted. “How does a human think that makes any—” she stopped when she brought herself back to the subject of humans. “And you’re interested in havin’ to deal with that?” Big Macintosh blushed and looked towards the door to make sure his little sister wasn’t too close to overhear. “Applejack, be careful,” he said. “Ah don’t wanna worry ‘bout Apple Bloom hearin’ it.” “Big Mac, I’m surprised,” she said, placing a hoof on his shoulder. “You ain’t got nothin’ to be ‘shamed of.” “It ain’t that,” Big Macintosh said as he picked up the lamp and carried it to the back of the barn. “What if Apple Bloom hears and tells him?” “I suppose you won’t have to jump through these hoops to get him to notice you.” Applejack chuckled but immediately stopped when she saw the glare Big Macintosh gave her. She smiled and trotted up to her brother. “And ‘sides,” Big Macintosh said, “what if Adam has a good time with that Pokey fella? Wouldn’t be right to move in now.” He glanced up and saw Applejack studying him intently. “What?” “You know, I ain’t never seen you get this gaga over anypony.” Applejack looked around the barn, her gaze stopping at each ribbon tied to the rafters. “Why him?” Big Macintosh turned his gaze upwards and sighed as he thought back to the fitting session with Adam. I just want my sister’s big day to be perfect, Big Macintosh remembered him saying, but I can try to talk to her, if you feel that strongly about it. There was a moment when he saw the look in Adam’s eyes. He could tell that the human was fighting with two emotions: wanting to make his sister happy and the desire not to upset the stallion. As Big Macintosh looked back down and turned to Applejack, he thought of how similar Adam and Amy’s situation was to him and his sisters’ own. It was then that his thoughts turned to what Adam had said about Amy. She’s all that I have. Big Macintosh shook his head to hide the fact that a frown had appeared, and he turned his gaze back up. When he closed his eyes, images of Adam as he danced at the reception filled his vision. Granny Smith was right—he did slink around like a draconequus—Adam’s movements did appear serpentine, but to Big Macintosh, that meant the human’s movements were graceful. He turned back to his flanks and sighed. More graceful than I could ever be, he thought. Big Macintosh chuckled as another thought came through; it was the fact that they shared the same eye color. Sure, it was a coincidence, but taken together with everything else he already knew about Adam, he finally felt an answer to Applejack’s question come to him. “Big Mac?” Applejack asked. “Our eyes see the same.” Big Macintosh replied. “You mean they look the same?” Big Macintosh shrugged, not saying a word as he trotted silently to the front of the barn to pick up the lantern that he had been using earlier and had set aside. Applejack shook her head and joined her brother just as Apple Bloom rolled in another barrel of apples. “Come on,” Applejack said as she stopped the barrel with her hoof, “let’s see if we can get this done by the time Adam gets back.” “Sure thing, sis!” “It’s a good thing Adam found out ‘bout the extension cord,” Big Macintosh said as he checked his work one more time. “Eeyup,” Applejack replied. “Then again, Adam don’t seem like the type to try and move every barrel ‘cross this here barn.” Applejack reached over and grabbed her stetson from Apple Bloom and placed it back on her head. “Ain’t nopony that dumb.” I am so glad that I used the Manticure, Adam thought as he stretched his arms. He stood outside of Safety Pens and took a deep breath to calm himself before reaching down to open the latch of the gate that connected to a white picket fence. Small playsets dotted the yard, and as Adam reached the front porch, he could see the foals inside through the window listening to Pokey Pierce as he was speaking to them. He smiled and knocked on the door. The door handle glowed for a moment before it opened. Pokey Pierce was still in his seat, but now the foals had turned their attention to Adam, some of them smiling while others shying away. “Oh, you’re early,” Pokey Pierce said as the glow of his horn disappeared. “Come in.” Adam took a few steps forward, moving slowly and with his hands to his sides. “Everypony, say hello to Mister Garnet.” Pokey Pierce said. “Hello, Mister Garnet,” the foals replied in unison. Pokey Pierce directed Adam to a particularly small stool. “Why don’t you take a seat? The parents should be arriving to pick them up soon.” Adam paused when he noticed that the stool barely reached his calves. As he tried to lower himself enough to actually sit down, he could hear the sound of the foals snickering behind him. By the time he turned around, he could see that even Pokey Pierce’s muzzle quivered. The stallion cleared his throat and turned to the foals. “Well, everypony, we still have a little bit of time before your parents come. If Mister Garnet has no problems with it, do you all have any questions for our human friend?” Adam felt his pulse quicken the moment a bunch of hooves shot up. He understood what Pokey Pierce was trying to do. After all, he thought, what better way to learn about humans than simply asking one? “It’s all right,” Adam replied as he rubbed his forearm. “Um, you, the one with the seafoam coat. What’s your name, dear?” “Bee Bop,” the filly replied as she lowered her hoof. “Mister Garnet, do humans eat ponies?” Well, this isn’t promising, Adam thought. “Humans eat lots of things, like vegetables, fruits…” He waited a moment before continuing. “...Fish, chicken.” Adam could feel his chest tightening. Come on, Adam, he thought, they’re kids. The stool squeaked beneath him. “I-I mean I don’t eat those things,” Adam said in an effort to calm the foals’ fears. “I’ve always been a vegetarian.” Another hoof shot up. “Um,” Adam said, feeling his voice squeak, “the one with the cloud cutie mark?” “Miss Fluttershy once came in and told us that it’s normal for humans to eat things like fish and chicken because they’re animalvores.” “Cotton Cloudy, the word is omnivores,” Pokey Pierce corrected. “Yeah, but she said that lots of creatures eat other animals, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” The filly turned back to Adam. “So why don’t you eat animals?” For a moment, Adam thought that his heart had stopped. Seriously, he thought, they want to know why I don’t eat meat? As Adam fidgeted in his seat, he heard the stool continue to creak. “Well, it just never appealed to me,” he answered, breathing a sigh of relief when the filly decided not to question it further. “And you? The one with the purple mane?” “Why aren’t you red?” “Excuse me?” Adam asked, genuinely confused. “Your name is Garnet, and garnets are red.” “Okay, I get it,” Adam replied. “No. Everyone in my family has the last name Garnet. It is just a name.” “Do you make jewelry?” “Um… no. But I do work with Miss Rarity.” He smiled weakly. “I help her design clothes.” “So you aren’t red, and you don’t do things with jewelry. That’s a weird name.” “Now, Pinot Noir,” Pokey Pierce chided, ignoring the incredulous look Adam gave him upon hearing the filly’s name. “Mister Garnet is not weird, he’s just different. We’re all different in our own way, and that’s what makes us special.” “Do you like ponies?” another foal shouted. “Of course,” Adam said. “I like all of you.” “No, I mean do you like like ponies? Your sister married one, are you going to marry one, too?” At this point, Adam couldn’t tell whether the sets of eyes in front of him were of foals or of demons. They’re all just staring at me, Adam thought as his hands become clammy, but then he remembered what he had brought from Sugar Cube Corner. He felt a hoof on his shoulder and looked up to see Pokey Pierce levitating a juice box next to him. Adam nodded and took it, piercing the top of it with the tiny straw. “You guys are really good at asking questions,” Adam said as he stood up and reached into his satchel with his free hand. “But the truth is I’m not really that interesting.” He set the juice box down. “I may have toes and fingers, but really, I’m not that different from a pony.” “That’s right,” Pokey Pierce said as he looked out to the foals. “It’s not about what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside that counts.” He reached out a foreleg to Adam, who bent over to give Pokey Pierce a hug. “Uh oh,” Adam said as his nose twitched. “What is it?” Pokey Pierce asked. “You’re mane is tickling my nose,” Adam replied as he pulled back. “I think I’m going to…” “Going to what?” “Ahh…” Adam pulled the can of silly string out of his satchel and held it behind his face so the foals couldn’t see it. “...Choo!” The moment he pretended to sneeze, he pushed down on the button, sending a torrent of green silly string all over Pokey Pierce’s mane, face, and horn. As he expected, all of the colts started to laugh, whereas the fillies also gave their collective response. “Eww!” Pokey Pierce, however, simply stared straight ahead and gave Adam an unimpressed look. Adam giggled and placed the silly string back into his satchel. There was a knock at the door, and when Adam opened it, he saw a pair of ponies standing outside. “Oh, Mister Garnet,” the mare said, “I didn’t know Pokey Pierce was having you as a guest today.” “Mommy! Daddy!” Bee Bop yelled as she galloped across the room. “Mister Garnet said he doesn’t eat ponies!” Oh dear, Adam thought as he turned to Bee Bop’s parents. “Well that is wonderful news to hear, sweetie,” the stallion looked up to Adam. “So, they asked you questions about being a human?” “A few,” Adam said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “That is wonderful,” the mare replied. “The younger we can introduce the foals to unique species, the more likely they’ll remain open-minded.” “Um, thank you?” Adam took a step back as more ponies arrived at the daycare center, each pair of ponies saying the same thing to him as they picked up their little colt or filly. By the time all of the ponies had left, the sun had already begun to set, casting shadows of buildings and lampposts across the street. Adam heard the sound of the door clicking shut behind him, and a moment later, Pokey Pierce was by his side. “So, you ready?” Even though it was getting dark, Adam noticed that the stallion’s mane and tail were so pale that they appeared to glow. He nodded and gave Pokey Pierce a tiny smile, which the stallion returned before turning towards another part of town with Adam close behind. Applejack sat at the kitchen table and read the list that Big Macintosh had made. She tapped her hoof against a cup of apple juice. “So Amy put the same apples on both sides of the barn,” she said then proceeded to read the list to the rest of the Apple family. “Galas take up a good deal of the rows, followed by Golden Russets, Golden Delicious, Katy’s—” “They ain’t even in alphabetical order?” Apple Bloom asked. “Pink Ladies, Porters—” “If Adam don’t get this right,” Granny Smith said as she took a sip of juice, “then we’re further up a creek than a boatin’ pony without a paddle.” “Wagener, Northern Spy, and then Topaz.” “Least they’re all cider apples,” Apple Bloom added. “What if we just rearranged ‘em to how they used to be?” “With all the chores we still gotta do?” Applejack asked. “Shoot, we’ll be lucky if we’re ready for cider pressin’ day as it is. Ever since that fiasco with the Flim Flam Brothers, everypony expects us to be able to make all that cider in a day.” “We only got two more days ‘til then,” Granny Smith said. “Give him a chance.” The mares turned to Big Macintosh, who was leaning against the wall and staring out the window. Applejack gave a sigh when she noticed the way his eyes darted around as though looking for something. “I dunno, Big Mac.” Big Macintosh’s eyes narrowed and he shook his head. As he pushed past his sister and headed for the front door, Applejack had half a mind to tell him off, but then she heard a knock at the door. “Who’d be comin’ ‘round here at this time?” Granny Smith asked as Big Macintosh opened the door. “Evenin’, Mister Order,” Big Macintosh said from the hall. Applejack huffed and threw her head back, regaining her composure just as Tall Order entered the room. She sighed and put on the most sincere smile she could, though as the Element of Honesty, it clearly wasn’t very convincing. Tall Order raised an eyebrow. “Good evening to you, too, Mister Macintosh.” He then nodded in Applejack’s direction. “Miss Applejack.” He turned to other members of the family. “Missus Smith… Apple Bloom.” “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Applejack asked through her smile. “Please, Miss Applejack, there is no need for that,” Tall Order replied, though when Big Macintosh moved next to him, he flinched slightly. “I am only doing my job here.” “Apple Bloom, go upstairs,” Granny Smith said. Apple Bloom started to say something, but when the older family members gave her the same look she hunched her shoulders over and slowly made her way to the stairs. As the sound of hooves grew faint, the rest of the Apple family turned back to Tall Order. “There another obscure law you wanna let us know ‘bout?” Applejack asked. “I ran into Mister Garnet earlier,” Tall Order sighed, as though trying to pacify a foal. “He advised me that he was staying with you for an indeterminate amount of time.” Tall Order lowered his muzzle and peered above his glasses. “Should I be expecting another tax form eighty-eight thirty-nine?” He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible. “After all, I wouldn’t want both you and Miss Rarity claiming him. That would make things very difficult for not only me, but Mayor Mare, as well.” “Now look here, Mister Order,” Granny Smith said as she slammed her cup down, spilling drops of apple juice on the table. “Adam’s kin. He’s here to help with cider pressin’ season, nothin’ more.” “I’m sure he’s been very helpful here at Sweet Apple Acres,” Tall Order said, though Applejack sensed the faint sarcasm coming from his voice. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack’s eyes narrowed. Big Macintosh’s nostrils flared. “I did not mean it that way,” Tall Order replied. “It’s just… I was at the assembly Princess Twilight Sparkle headed a few months ago, as were you. You must admit, when compared to other humans, Mister Garnet is hardly an example of their prowess. I find it exceedingly difficult to believe that a human of his stature can be of much assistance in this setting.” “Enough!” Big Macintosh reared back and then slammed his hooves on the floor. The table shook and the cups rattled. Tall Order took a step away from the stallion whose eyes focused on the outsider. “Adam ain’t a write-off.” Big Macintosh poked Tall Order’s chest. “And he ain’t weak. He’s got more grit than his sister and clings to Harmony as much as my own, the Element of Honesty herself.” For a moment, Big Macintosh’s eyes softened. He stomped to the front door and yanked it open. “If that’s all you wanted to say, then be on your way.” Big Macintosh’s eyes darkened once more. “I’ll not have you speakin’ that way of our kin in my house.” Tall Order readjusted his glasses and trotted quietly to the door. Before he left, he turned to them one more time. “This is not an easy job,” he said. “There needs to be a semblance of order in this town, and I fully intend to make it so. This is not about your family, and this is certainly not about me. In the name of Harmony, I will ensure that things are made fair. Good night.” Tall Order trotted out the door, his hooves clicking on the porch and then crunching on the dirt. Applejack waited a moment before walking up to her brother and placing a hoof on his withers, but he turned away the moment she touched him. “As Celestia’s my witness, I’m gonna help Adam figure this out,” Big Macintosh said as he walked outside, slamming the door behind him. Applejack returned to the kitchen and saw Granny Smith taking the cups to the sink. “Granny,” Applejack said as her lip quivered, “I’m scared.” “Shoot, ain’t nothin’ to be scared of,” Granny Smith replied without turning around. “We’ve been through worse. Those Flim Flam Brothers were much more irritatin'. Mister Order just don't take pony's feelin's into account.” Applejack chuckled. The two mares stopped when they heard hooves in the next room. “Can I come out, now?” Apple Bloom asked. “Sure you can,” Granny Smith replied. “You can help me with supper.” Applejack smiled as Apple Bloom trotted into the room, opened the refrigerator door, and pulled out some tomatoes. “Spaghetti sounds good tonight,” Apple Bloom said. “Whatcha think?” “Sure thing, sugarcube,” Applejack replied as she reached into the refrigerator to pull out some garlic. “I’m pretty hungry myself.” The three mares started chopping up vegetables. We’ll get through this, Applejack thought, together. The lights of Epicurious shone brightly against the numerous storefronts that lit up what Adam assumed to be the downtown area of Ponyville. He looked above him and saw the strings of lights hanging from one side of the street to the other. “There is also the new club,” Pokey Pierce said, pointing a hoof towards a building at the end of the street. “Bonnie and…” Adam said, squinting his eyes as he read the sign, “Clydesdale?” “Yeah, they play great dance music from that human deejay. You ready for some food?” Adam felt Pokey Pierce’s hoof grace his forearm, and he turned to see that Pokey Pierce was smiling gently at him. “It’s funny how something that looks so hard can feel so soft.” Pokey Pierce snickered. “I meant your hoof,” Adam replied, rolling his eyes while also laughing in response. Adam reached out and opened the door, where he was immediately greeted by the sounds of ponies rushing back and forth as well as the clattering of dishes and silverware. He held the door open for Pokey Pierce, who bowed his head lightly. “Thank you, sir,” the stallion said, giving Adam a tiny smile as he trotted through. Adam stepped in and his eyes widened. “Wow,” Adam said, “it’s really…” “Swanky?” Pokey Pierce suggested. “Green.” All of the walls of the restaurant were painted in a soft, green palette. The tables, varying in height to accommodate for the occasional human visitor, were covered with dark brown tablecloths. As Adam looked at the details, he noticed a few areas where the owner had created a leaf motif. “It’s almost like I’m in a forest, but the trees are cut down.” “Savoir Fare owns the bistro on the other side of town, too.” Pokey Pierce said. “I hear he actually spoke to a human in Manehatten about the color scheme. She’s a psychologist, so she told him about how different colors affect you humans.” I wonder if she was performing an experiment to figure out how gullible ponies are, Adam thought to himself, trying but failing to hide a smirk. “Something funny?” Pokey Pierce asked. “Oh, no,” Adam replied. “It definitely catches the eye.” “It must work, because there’s usually a travelling human or two in here every other day.” Adam sniffed the air as the familiar scent of roasted chicken filled his nostrils. “Yes, I’m sure it is the color scheme that plays a major role in it.” As Adam continued to look around the room, a mare trotted up to them and flashed a toothy grin. “Hi, welcome to Epicurious,” she said. “Is this your first time?” “I’ve been here before,” Pokey Pierce replied before nuzzling Adam’s forearm. “But this is my date’s first time.” At the mention of the word date, Adam felt his cheeks flush. The mare, however, giggled. “That’s so sweet,” the mare said. “Adam, right? My name is Ganache. Your sister comes in all the time.” She held a hoof to her chin. “You know, I’ve never really seen you out much, but I can definitely tell you’re her twin.” “I’m not quite the social butterfly my sister is,” Adam said as he felt his cheeks getting even warmer. “No worries,” Ganache said as she grabbed a pair of menus, though Adam also noticed that they were two different colors. “Follow me, please.” Ganache pulled a tray of glasses filled with water from a nearby bar and set them upon her back. They followed the mare through the restaurant, and Adam could see a few of the pony pairs look up at them, smiling politely and then whispering to one another. Ganache directed them to a table in the center of the room, but when she sensed Adam’s nervousness, she pointed to the side of the restaurant. “The booths are full,” she said in an apologetic tone. “Our mixed-seating tables tend to be in the center.” “Oh, it’s fine,” Adam replied. “It will give me a chance to observe the decor.” “Excellent.” Ganache set two glasses on the table before seating Adam in a backed chair and Pokey Pierce on a stool. She placed the menus in front of them, and as Adam peered at the two, he noticed that not only were they different colors, but they had different items on them. “Okay,” Ganache said, “Epicurious is the major restaurant that caters to an all-species clientele.” She pointed to Adam’s menu. “Here is where we have our meat options.” “You don't have to worry about that,” Adam replied. “I’m a vegetarian.” “Our main focus is on chicken and—” She blinked. “Wait, what?” “Adam here is an herbivore,” Pokey Pierce said with a wink. Adam saw a few ponies turn their heads towards him out of the corner of his eye. In front of him, Ganache simply blinked a few times, though the smile remained plastered to her muzzle. “Oh, that’s… interesting.” She cocked her head to the side. “You are just full of surprises, aren’t you?” “You should see what he keeps in his satchel,” Pokey Pierce replied, his laughter catching the attention of more ponies. “Do you need a few minutes to look over the menu?” “Yes, please,” Adam said. When they were alone again, Adam looked towards his date, only to find the stallion studying him. “Ganache said something earlier,” Pokey Pierce said. “I honestly don’t recall seeing you out and about nearly as much as your sister. It’s sad, really.” “What is?” “From what I’ve seen from you, you are rather charming.” Adam saw the look in Pokey Pierce’s eyes. He looks like Rarity when she tries to find flaws hidden in gems, he thought. “Not to mention you do well with foals.” Pokey Pierce levitated the glass to his lips and took a sip. “You even share a bit of their sense of humor.” “I just wanted to do something to appear less intimidating to them,” Adam said as he looked down at the table. “It looked like you were more afraid of them than they were of you.” “When you said you took care of foals, I was thinking younger.” Adam grabbed the glass and took a drink. “Those were mostly school-age colts and fillies.” “Oh, I’m there when they get out of school and then I watch them until their parents return from Canterlot.” “Well, you seem to do very well with them,” Adam said. “As I said the other night, it helps knowing how to be… gentle.” I guess he really did say it like that at the reception, he thought. Adam was about to say something else, but Ganache appeared at his side. “Hey there,” she said. “You guys ready to order?” “Let’s see,” Pokey Pierce said as he perused the items. “Oh, neat. Some of these vegetarian items were made by a human chef in Manehatten.” He glanced over at Adam, grinned, and then leaned in closer so that his hoof brushed Adam’s hand. “Adam,” he whispered. “What’s a vindaloo?” Adam, who was now torn between pulling his hand back or letting stay there, smiled at the stallion. “Get it,” he replied, keeping his hand where it was. “You’ll thank me for it.” He turned to Ganache. “I think I’ll have the same.” “Sure thing, sweeties.” Ganache left, and the two stayed still for a moment. Adam felt his pulse quicken, and when Pokey Pierce pulled his hoof away, Adam finally calmed down. “So, Adam,” Pokey Pierce said and he folded his hooves over one another and smiled, “the human herbivore.” His eyebrow raised. “Tell me about yourself.” And so the night went on. Adam told Pokey Pierce stories about himself and his sister, every anecdote garnering a laugh from the stallion. As it turned out, Pokey Pierce also had a sister similar to Amy. Whereas she had earned her cutie mark while surfboarding, he had earned his one day at school while playing house with the other fillies and changed the diaper on one of the stuffed animals. The food arrived, and the moment it was set on the table, Adam laughed with Pokey Pierce’s nostrils flared and immediately levitated his fork and stuffed a heaping scoop into his maw. At times, however, Adam’s thoughts turned to Big Macintosh. I really should get him something to show my appreciation, Adam thought. When both plates were cleared, he got Ganache’s attention. “Excuse me,” he said, “but could I see the dessert menu?” “Still hungry?” Pokey Pierce asked. “Oh no,” Adam laughed. “This is for—” Adam stopped himself when he realized how it would sound to Pokey Pierce if he casually mentioned another stallion while on a date. “I’m sure Apple Bloom would love a treat,” he lied. “She’s been working really hard on the farm.” He pointed to the menu. “Could I get a tiramisu to go, please?” Ganache nodded and retreated back to the kitchen. “That’s kind of you,” Pokey Pierce said. Pokey Pierce leaned in, and Adam could smell the cinnamon and ginger on the stallion’s breath. “I’m very happy that you said yes to this,” he said as the glass of water floated around his head. “I always read that humans were more on the assertive side, but you’re surprisingly… submissive.” For what must have been the third time that day, Adam felt the blood rush to his face. “A lot of stallions respond to that,” Pokey Pierce added. Adam rubbed the back of his neck and laughed softly. The dessert came wrapped neatly in a box with the bill on top of it. When they left, Adam reached for the door, only for it to glow and open before he touched it. “After you,” Pokey Pierce replied. Adam nodded his head and smiled. A moment later, the two were back on the street. The walk to Sweet Apple Acres was surprisingly swift, both Adam and Pokey Pierce walking alongside one another in companionable silence. Occasionally, Adam would point to the night sky and ask about a certain constellation. Pokey Pierce would explain it, then Adam would laugh at how similar it was to a pattern back home. “Wait a minute,” Adam said after Pokey Pierce pointed out a particularly interesting constellation. “I’ve always wondered something. If humans only appeared a year ago, then where do minotaurs come from?” “What do you mean?” “Where I’m from, the story goes that minotaurs are the offspring of a human and a bull.” Adam smirked and waited for the stallion’s answer. “So where you’re from, humans have sex with bulls?” Adam stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened. “Point taken.” “Oh no.” Pokey Pierce grinned wickedly. “Now I’m interested.” “I-It’s just a myth,” Adam stammered, which did nothing to lessen the stallion’s ever-growing smile. “Uh huh,” Pokey Pierce said, unconvinced. Adam heard the sound of the front gate swinging idly in the breeze, but the moment he rest his hand on it to go inside, Pokey Pierce’s hoof came to rest on his hand. He turned his head towards the stallion and saw that his gaze was half-lidded and his smile had become gentler. “Adam,” he said, “I want to kiss you.” Adam’s heart thundered in his chest so loudly he swore he could hear it beating. He tried to stop his hand from shaking beneath Pokey Pierce’s touch, but then he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. “Mister Pierce,” Adam replied so softly that he worried he wouldn’t be heard against the wind, “it’s not that I wouldn’t like to, it’s just I’ve never kissed a stallion before.” “Well,” Pokey Pierce replied seductively, “I would be honored to be your first.” Adam looked at the stallion’s lips, which were curved up into a confident smirk. As he leaned in, his thoughts turned to Amy’s diary entry. It’s like kissing a guy with a really soft beard. As he inched closer to Pokey Pierce, he heard something inside screaming at him to stop. But then he thought back to what the stallion had said at dinner. Do it, Adam tried to convince himself, stallions respond to submissiveness. When Adam bent down, he felt Pokey Pierce’s breath caress his neck. “Adam!” They both jerked back, and Adam turned to the farmhouse so quickly that he didn’t see the look of disbelief on the Pokey Pierce’s muzzle nor the glare he threw in the direction of the voice. “Just ‘cause I’m old don’t mean I can’t see you standin’ out there like a beanpole!” Granny Smith shouted. “Now come on! We got a lotta work to do in the mornin’!” “Maybe next time?” Adam asked, giving the stallion a lopsided grin. “Oh yes, I do want there to be a next time,” Pokey Pierce, whose smile had returned by the time Adam had turned back to him, replied. “I had fun. You have a good night, Mister Garnet.” Adam waited for Pokey Pierce to turn around and make his way back down the road before he pushed the gate open and headed towards the house. By the time he got there, Granny Smith was seated in her rocking chair on the front porch. He heard the chair creak, their sound carried by the wind. “You have a good time?” she asked. “I…” Adam hesitated. “Mister Pierce is nice,” he finished as he looked down at the floor. “What’s in the box?” Granny Smith asked. “Oh, I bought a tiramisu for Big—for Mister Macintosh.” Granny Smith stopped her chair in mid-rock. Adam flashed his gaze up to the mare. “To thank him for all of his help, you know?” he said. “And for the song,” he whispered. Granny Smith hummed to herself as she got off of the rocking chair. She reached out and took the box from Adam and then pointed to the barn. “If you wanna thank him, then go get him from the barn,” she replied. “He’s been in there all night.” Adam felt his chest drop. “What?” Granny Smith simply nodded and made her way to the door. “Eeyup,” she said. “Like I said, that stallion likes doin’ what he can to make other ponies happy.” The front door squeaked as Granny Smith retreated into the house. She turned back for a moment and gave Adam an odd look. “You wanna go get him?” Adam nodded slowly, and when Granny Smith closed the door, he started to walk towards the barn. As he did, he felt a familiar pain return to his shoulders. The Manticure must be wearing off, he thought, I can’t believe how tired I’m getting. The barn door was still open, and as Adam entered, he heard the sound of the hay as it crunched beneath his shoes. He peered into the darkness and giggled when he saw Big Macintosh asleep on a bed of hay. What Adam found so amusing was that Big Macintosh’s legs twitched as though he was chasing something. The moon was in just the right place that the light shone through the window directly on him, making the stallion appear as though he had purple fur. Adam crept forward, worried to disturb Big Macintosh’s dream. He got down on his knees, doing his best to avoid the stallion’s powerful legs, and began to lightly scratch Big Macintosh’s ears. “Big Mac,” he whispered, “Granny says that—” Adam squeaked as Big Macintosh’s forelegs jerked forward and wrapped around his chest. Adam fell to the ground and found himself pinned to Big Macintosh’s chest, his hair mussed by the stallion’s heavy breathing . He was about to pull away when he felt the stallion’s heartbeat begin to slow down and his legs stop twitching. Adam sighed as he felt himself grow even more tired. I’ve slept in worse, he thought, and his leg does feel like a big pillow. The call of sleep came upon Adam so quickly that he didn’t even hear the sound of hooves approaching. “I swear that stallion’s more a fool than a parasprite in front of Twilight’s horn,” Applejack muttered as she stomped into the barn. She was about to shout both her brother’s and Adam’s names, but the moment she saw the two sleeping, her jaw dropped. Her lips twitched, and soon her face twisted into a look of devilish glee. “I’m gettin’ the camera,” she said as she galloped back to the farmhouse. Applejack left so fast she didn’t even notice that Adam’s rhythmic breathing had already matched up to Big Macintosh’s, the human breathing out at the same time the stallion breathed in.