//------------------------------// // The Monster // Story: Not a Monster 3: Realizations and Revelations // by Dreamscape //------------------------------// My ears were greeted with bouncy upbeat pop music as Sunset and I entered Pinkie’s home. It looked almost like a completely different home with the large amount of colorful balloons, confetti, and streamer covering every corner of the living room. “It’s Sunset! And the guy we’ve all been waiting for… the BIRTHDAY BOY!” Pinkie screeched joyously, throwing her hands into the air. “Heheh,” she then began to giggle, “or should I say the birthday man!” “Pinkie,” I groaned, feeling my cheeks warming up. “Yes, mister man?” she asked, hopping towards us, two plastic cups of punch in her hands. She handed Sunset a drink and gave her a quick hug before turning to me and doing the same. “And for you, an extra big hug!” she announced as her arms squeezed tightly around my waist. I wrapped my arms around her as well, feeling the air expelling from my lungs. “Pinkie,” I said again, this time with my voice restricted from the tight embrace. My eyes felt as though they were going to pop right out of the sockets when she squeezed even tighter, her breasts and stomach pushing tightly against my body. I let out a groan and she finally took the hint, pulling away after what seemed like minutes of hugging. “Anyways, enjoy the punch! I put an extra special ingredient in for tonight. It’s spiked, and I totally don’t mean Twilight’s dog is using it as a tub or something!” “You… you mean it has alcohol?” “Yep, yep, yeppers, that’s right mister man! You really are gonna be all grown up tonight!” “Uh, alright then,” I muttered. “Guess I was wrong,” Sunset whispered, nudging her elbow into my side. We were both surprised by Pinkie’s idea of underage drinking. As Sunset had said earlier at the gas station, Pinkie’s parties were normally much tamer. As long as it was with people I knew well enough like the girls, I was fine with whatever she had in store. It looked like Sunset was fairly pleased with the idea of the extra party favor as well. “So, how about we do gifts first, maybe some cake, then we get to the partying. Sound good?” Pinkie asked, motioning for everyone to gather around the sofa. She sat me down in the center of it while the other girls gathered their gifts. Rainbow Dash was first up. I was honestly expecting a weight so I could do even more exercise than I already was. So I was surprised that the package she had for me was so small. Taken over by curiosity, I quickly peeled away the wrapping and threw it into the trash bag Pinkie had returned with from the kitchen. Inside was what looked to be a simple black wristband along with some kind of plug in to an audio jack. “It measures how many steps you take in a day and how many calories you burn. You can set goals for yourself too, and enter in what you eat and other exercise you do. Pretty sweet, huh?” Rainbow asked with a proud grin, putting the band around my wrist herself. “Yeah, it’s awesome,” I said with a nod and smiled. “I just figured since you’ve been getting into exercising more and more lately, you’d want something to tell you how awesome you’re doing at it. Then you can push yourself even harder!” “Even harder?” I asked teasingly. “Well, yeah, you’re already getting some nice toning going on,” she complimented, squeezing one hand around my bicep and using the other to poke at my hardening stomach. “But you can always look better.” I chuckled at the tingling sensation her poking caused in my gut. “Alright, alright, you’re gonna keep helping me though, right?” “Duh, of course I am!” “Um, I guess mine will help you get into shape too… i-in a way,” Fluttershy mumbled, stepping up beside Rainbow Dash. “Here,” she said, handing me a delicately wrapped box. I almost felt bad for tearing open such a nicely wrapped gift, but that was where the present was after all. I opened it up to find what looked to be a shoe box with a brand name I had never before heard of printed on its top. “I hope I got the size right. If not I’ll take them back and get you the right ones,” she mumbled as I pulled off its lid. Inside was a pair of what looked to be rather high quality hiking boots. “You seemed to enjoy our hike. So I thought that maybe we could go again sometime.” “Yeah, yeah I did… thank you, Fluttershy,” I said, trying not to sound as confused as I was. After what had happened on our hike, I figured she would never want to go on another with me again. Maybe the boots were a way to forgive me for my actions. “We’ll have to do that again soon, yeah?” I asked, not wanting to put down such an offer. Along with that, I knew I had to apologize for what I had done, considering the fact that I was already being forgiven. I would wait until after the party began when I could talk with her more privately. “Whelp, gettin’ into shape is good n’ all, but how about some real hard work? Ya know what ah mean, huh, Sugarcube?” Applejack said, pushing herself to the front, a metal toolbox in her hand. “Now ah figured this didn’t need no fancy wrappin’, so here ya go.” She dropped it onto my lap. “Since ya never seem ta do any work around your own house, ah decided to help. So there ya are, your first tool box!” “Uh… thanks, yeah, thanks,” I muttered, opening it up to examine the many tools with in. Both the box and its contents looked as though they had seen their fair share of repairs. “It’s nothing too special, just one of our old toolboxes that we don’t really use anymore. It’ll get the job done though. It’s reliable, just like anyone or anything in the Apple family.” “All of this physical exertion is okay, but how about making yourself look lovely without lifting a finger?” Rarity asked proudly, pushing Applejack aside. She handed me a small box, even smaller than the one Rainbow Dash had given me. Although perhaps not as precisely well wrapped as Fluttershy’s, the sparkling gold wrapping and velvet silver bowtie certainly made up for it. I wondered how much more expensive her wrapping was than the others as I gently tore it off. Inside was a gift card to one of the nicer salons in town. It was one of Rarity’s go to locations as well. The card was for a full spa treatment, including a haircut, close shave, massage, and time in the sauna. “Sounds like I’ll be having a rejuvenating and relaxing day one of these weekends,” I said with a smile. Although going to a spa to be pampered didn’t seem like something I would enjoy all that much, I was willing to try it at least once. This was especially true considering that all of it was a free gift. “Oh, please tell me when you do, dear. I’d love to join,” Rarity squealed with delight. Having Rarity along with me made the idea sound even better. Although a bit of a diva, I really did enjoy spending time with her. “How about you, Sunset?” Pinkie asked, realizing that she had not yet handed over any gifts. “I already got her present,” I said quickly, giving the two of them a smile. “Oh, was it something super-duper secret?” Pinkie asked, her bright eyes turning to me questioningly. I rolled mine in response and shook my head. “Alrighty, looks like that’s everyone then!” she cheered. “…Well, except for me, hehe! Don’t you worry, I didn’t forget!” Of course she didn’t. I figured the party was already a nice enough gift, but she had more planned, it seemed. “Mine is a secret, but you’re gonna have to wait! I’ll give it to you later tonight, okay?” “I… uh, okay,” I muttered, my curiosity once again being piqued. I was certainly beginning to enjoy the idea of surprises. Not only was it fun wondering what they were and anxiously waiting for them to be revealed, but if it was anything like Sunset’s, I would enjoy it as well. Soon after, the music was turned up even louder, and we all began to lose ourselves in our own happy little world of dancing, laughing, and drinking. *** After everyone got settled into the idea of partying, some more quickly than others, and after I had chatted and danced with both Rainbow Dash and Rarity, I figured it was about time I should go and apologize to Fluttershy. Along with that, I was fairly sure I could already feel the effects of the spiked punch kicking in. My mind felt somewhat fuzzy, and although I was having a wonderful time, I was beginning to feel a bit too distanced from reality. I didn’t want to be drunk when I talked to Fluttershy. So I figured the sooner we talked the better. I caught her by the punch bowl where she was refilling her glass with more of Pinkie’s delicious concoction. I honestly figured she wouldn’t be drinking at all considering how innocent and respecting of the rules she was. I was sure she wanted to have fun too though. Along with that, knowing that all of her friends were doing the same was surely both comforting and encouraging to her. Ah, the joys of situational peer pressure. “Hey,” she said softly as she turned to me, barely audible over the pounding music. She took a sip from her cup and smiled. “Hey, Fluttershy, enjoying the party so far?” “Mhm, how about you? It is yours after all.” “Yeah, yeah it’s fun… it’s just that… well, something’s been bothering me lately.” “Oh, that’s no good. What is it?” she asked with concern, her shyness fading. “It’s just about that hike we went on,” I watched as the anxiety and fear immediately returned to her face. “I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I did. I’ve just been so desperate for wanting something like that again lately… um, not saying that I was doing that out of desperation or anything. I just mean, I guess I read everything wrong, and I never should’ve tried to push it. So, I’m sorry, and I don’t want to make things awkward for you again. Let’s just stay friends and keep it that way.” “Oh, my, um, okay, yes, I want us to stay friends. I’m really glad to have you as one. I never meant to send you the wrong signals, I just don’t know how I did. I’m sorry too. I’ve never been good at things like that. I-if you don’t mind me asking, what made you think that I was, w-w-well, interested in you?” she muttered, her face growing red and her eyes squinting shut. “I…” I was a bit taken back by the question, not really expecting it to come up. “I guess it was just the way you were acting. You kept looking over at me, and, well, yeah.” “Oh, no, was that it?” Fluttershy gasped in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I really shouldn’t have been staring. I was just thinking about how nice it would be to have a new friend. It’s not too often that I make one. I just stick to the ones I have. So I guess the only reason I was doing that is because it was strange and exciting to have someone new to spend time with. I never meant anything else by it.” “Hey,” I said comfortingly, stopping her from a continuous repeating of apologies, “it’s fine, all I want is for us to be friends. So let’s just forget about what happened there and go back to the way things were before that. I want to hike with you again, and maybe even go back to the animal shelter another time to volunteer more.” “That sounds wonderful,” Fluttershy said softly, giving me a wide smile. “It’s really nice to have a friend that enjoys some of the same things as I do.” “Yeah, it is,” I said with a happy sigh, smiling back at her. “Um, wanna dance for a bit. We can talk more while we do. I just haven’t done it for quite a while and figured tonight would be a good ti-” “Yeah, sure,” I interrupted, sticking my tongue out at her teasingly. I knew she would go on and on attempting to explain herself if I didn’t stop her. I was ecstatic. Fluttershy was being the real Fluttershy around me once again. I knew I missed having her out of her shell, but I hadn’t realized how much I did until that moment. She was a great friend to have, and it would only get better. I can’t even remember what we talked about while we drank and danced. It was nothing too important anyways, just pointless conversations to pass the time and enjoy ourselves. All that mattered was that it made us both enjoy ourselves even more than we already were. With the combination of both the strain of dancing and the thirst quenching flavor of the punch, so sugary and flavorful that the harsh alcohol was barely noticeable, I hadn’t realized how much of it I had been drinking until it was much too late. The music seemed to fill my head even more so than it had before. The world around me, along with my thoughts were more of distant blur than they had been. I was much too lost to notice a hand being placed upon my shoulder as I continued to dance with Fluttershy. “Hey! Hey, mister man! Don’t you want your surprise?” I heard from behind me, but was much too caught up in my movements to pay it any attention. “Hey!” Fluttershy opened her eyes and looked at me with concern. I returned her gaze with a curious one of my own. She pointed behind me in response. I turned to find an equally, if not more so, gone Pinkie Pie behind me. She gave me a wide and surprisingly energetic grin for the state that she was in, not that I paid it much attention at the time. “It’s time for your present,” she cooed, grabbing my hand and pulling me away. “Oh, cool,” I muttered out, vaguely realizing it seemed harder than normal to speak properly. “So… so I have a question, yeah.” “Better not be about the present,” Pinkie responded, shaking a finger in front of my face as she continued to pull me along. Soon, we were making our way up the stairs with some difficulty. “Where are your parents and stuff… and… and why are they letting you have a party like this?” “Oh, they let me have the house to myself every time I throw a party. They trust me enough to be a good girl.” “Well, you’re not being very good tonight… are… are you?” I questioned, stumbling over my own words. “Hehe!” she giggled loudly and then snorted. “Nope, I’m being naughty tonight.” “Bad Pinkie,” I mumbled, laughing to myself, and then harder as she began to as well. Practically forgetting our journey up the stairs altogether, I felt as if I had magically teleported into the bright and colorfully themed room we were suddenly standing in. I deduced that it was Pinkie’s after seeing a multitude of stuffed animals and other toys, along with the balloon and heart shaped stickers on the walls. “So… so what’s my present?” I asked as she closed the door. Pinkie smiled wide as she locked then locked it with a soft click. “Oh, you’ll see, silly. Grown men shouldn’t be so super impatient.” “Hey!” I muttered in defense, glaring at the vivacious girl skipping towards me. It was almost as if she had been drinking coffee all night rather than punch. “Oh, shush and sit down!” she teased, placing a hand on my shoulder and walking me backwards to the edge of the bed. Not sure exactly of what to expect, I took a seat as she asked. The bed seemed to be just as bouncy as her personality, and I seemed to be enjoying its springiness a little too much. I chuckled as I bounced myself for a moment and then looked up to Pinkie with a smile. Suddenly, she was in my lap, her hands fiddling with the buttons of my shirt. “Pinkie… what’re you…” I mumbled in confusion as more and more of my upper half was exposed. “Well, duh, it’s sorta obvious, no?” “Uh… um… not really.” I knew she didn’t think of me as anything more than a friend. We had discussed it before and all of that was behind us. So why in the world was she suddenly sitting in my lap, stripping off my shirt? It was the only reasonable explanation I could think of, even though it didn’t seem that reasonable at all. “Pinkie…” “C’mon, you didn’t even guess, ya party pooper!” she teased, lifting up my arms so she could pull away my shirt. So lost in confusion, I hadn’t even taken into account that her backside was literally pressing down onto my crotch until it was too late. My jaw dropped as the pleasure both physical and mental rushed through me. I struggled to contain myself, but my instincts got the better of me. “Heheh, now you’re getting the right idea, mister man,” Pinkie cooed, looking from my reddening face to where our crotches met. “…Pinkie?” I gasped in disbelief. I could feel myself returning to reality, whether it be from plain shock or the reality of the matter. Her hand cupped around my cheek and she proceeded to lean in with a seductive smile on her lips. “I’m gonna make you a real man tonight. I know you’ve wanted this for a while,” she whispered softly but playfully into my ear. My heart jumped and my body buzzed with excitement. I was wrong after all. She was going to do exactly what I had originally thought. “Wanna help me with my shirt?” she asked as she pulled away, giving me a wink. I looked at her silently, my mind still processing the situation. I wanted it. I wanted her. We had become such close friends that perhaps it wouldn’t make things awkward between us. Maybe it would become a normal activity for us. Even in my suddenly sober state, everything in my mind and body was telling me yes besides one small voice of reason. Deep in the back of my mind, I knew that everything about what we were about to do was wrong. I just couldn’t quite get a hold of why that was. “No fun!” Pinkie pouted playfully. “Guess I’ll just have to do it myself.” My thoughts came to a halt as the beautiful sight unfurled before my eyes. Pinkie slowly and teasingly lifted shirt away from her body. Beneath was a pair of perky, well-sized breasts, held up by an almost comical looking bra covered with pastel yellow and blue balloons. She certainly went all out with her fun, party girl personality. That was beside the point though, and something I definitely wasn’t thinking about at the time. There was suddenly a pair of amazing boobs in front of me, and I had no idea how to react. “I… we… Pinkie,” I muttered, this time even more undiscernible than my other breathless statements. Then it hit me. I knew the reason why it was wrong, why it needed to stop. Memories of the night I had expressed my feelings to her flashed through my mind. I remembered how she had forced herself to tell me that she felt the same, that she was willing to be my girlfriend. In reality, all she wanted to do was make her friend happy, piece together a broken me. She would do so even if it meant making herself unhappy. I had a feeling that what she was doing that night was of a similar goal. “Pinkie,” I said softly as she reached behind her back to undo her bra. I had the primal urge to let her continue but quickly stopped myself. I grabbed her hands and pulled them towards me, making sure that she could not continue. “Huh?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion. “Pinkie Pie, why are you doing this?” I asked, changing the mood of our encounter to something much more solemn. “Well, it’s your birthday present,” she said, having a hard time comprehending the change of mood in her drunken state. “Yeah, I got that figured out, but why this? You could have gotten me something much less complicated… like a normal present.” “I know, but I thought this would be way better, and much more fun for you!” “But why, Pinkie?” “Ummm, well because I know you’ve really wanted something like this for a while now and since I can’t feel the same way about you as you do about me, I decided to give you the next best thing! We’re really, really good friends after all. So why not?” “Because you don’t want this, do you? You’re just doing it for me…” “I… I… yeah, it’s your birthday and I wanted to give you the bestest present ever!” “So you are doing it just for me.” “…Yes,” she said weakly, her eyes growing dull. “You were just so sad after what happened between us, and I still feel bad for saying no to you, even if you told me it was okay. Now that you have so many new friends to make you happy, I… I feel like I don’t mean much to you anymore. I wanted to show you how much I still care.” “Pinkie…” I said just as weakly in response before letting out a sigh. She was right about one thing. Ever since I began spending time with the other girls, I had little time for her anymore. That didn’t mean she was any less of a friend than she was before that though. Once again, I had gotten caught up in my emotions and my want for something stronger than friendship. I should have showed her how much I still cared. “You’re still my friend, Pinkie, my best friend. I mean that. You’re not any less than that now that I have other friends either, okay? Believe me, I really appreciate the thought of… well… sex,” I whispered, my face growing red, “but our relationship isn’t like that. Like I said the last time, I won’t be happy if you’re not, and I won’t enjoy this if you don’t.” “But what about your present. I didn’t get anything else for you.” “Pinkie… you being my friend is the best present I’ve ever gotten. All of you girls being my friends is. I wouldn’t have needed anything more than that, honestly. Having you and the other girls around… it’s just… it’s made me so happy. It’s the best thing I could ever ask for, even if I never really did ask for it.” “Aww, I still wanna make it up to you,” Pinkie said, her tone still soft. I could tell what I had said had done the trick of sobering her up as well. “It’s fine, but if you really want to, how about we hang out next week?” “Of course,” she said with a nod, a soft smile on her lips. She silently slipped her shirt back over her arms and situated it against her body. Not wanting to make things any more awkward, I put on my shirt as well and quickly began to button it up. “Rainbow Dash was right, ya know,” Pinkie said with a giggle. “Huh, about what?” “Her coaching really is doing the job. You’re getting some musclies,” she teased, poking at my chest. I laughed and grabbed her hand, shaking my head at her. We gazed at each other a moment before she leaned down to hug me. “Thanks,” she said sweetly. I sighed with relief, knowing I had made the right choice. “I love you, Pinkie,” I said, realizing the encounter had strengthened our friendship even further. “Love you, too, mister man.” It was in that moment that I realized what I had become during my time at Canterlot High School, and what I had done. I had originally blamed Sunset for my problems and pain when she broke up with me. I thought of her as a monster. Although I knew it was wrong, I also blamed Pinkie when I realized our feelings weren’t mutual. Then it was the same for the sirens. I guess, in a way, they did deserve some of the blame, but so did I. They were all monsters to me, even if I knew deep down that none of them truly were, no matter what they had done in the past. Instead, it was me, I was the monster. My lust for love had been my downfall, and it had hurt so many others along the way. I had been so cruel to Sunset when I should have been happy for her after the heroic deeds she had done. I had avoided Pinkie for the longest time because I craved what I couldn’t have with her and thought of it as some kind of cruel punishment for the innocent girl. I had even managed to hurt Fluttershy because all I wanted was love rather than friendship. Then once again, I hurt poor Pinkie, the girl that cared for me the most, because I was too caught up trying to find love. I was happy though, happy that I had realized that fact. I was already in the process of changing, the realization was just the final boost I needed to fully become the new me. Without the amazing friends I had gained over the final month or so of the school year, I could have never done it. I did love them, all of them, but as friends. It was definitely a different kind of love than what I had originally wanted, but I was more than happy to have it. I was a monster, a real monster, but I am not a monster any longer.