//------------------------------// // The problem is that brain bleach is a controlled substance. // Story: In which Masterweaver just makes stuff up // by Masterweaver //------------------------------// Applejack smiled to herself as the sun rose into the sky, trotting into Ponyville proper with a spring in her step. Today was going to be a good day, barring any weirdness--she made a mental note to avoid sugarcube corner--and she was feeling freer than she ever had been before. Finally somepony else knew how she felt about her gender--i.e., that she felt she should be able to switch at will, since she sometimes felt like a he and actually never understood the whole point behind all the cultural context anyway. ...well, alright, she hadn't actually said that. Out loud. But she would. And Twilight had been kind of nonplussed, but that was understandable. And it wasn't like she would go blabbing about this to anyone, unless it was one of her friends. And she definitely wouldn't tell Rainbow Dash. Unless Rainbow got suspicious and forced it out of her. The farmpony frowned. Well, okay, today wasn't going to be as good as she had though. But it would lead into a whole lot of better days! Eventually. She hoped. With a deep breath to steady herself, she approached the library and knocked on the door. She wouldn't blame the poor unicorn if she slammed the door in her face, but-- Twilight opened the door and smiled broadly. "Applejack! Come in, it's great to see you!" She stepped aside, letting her friend trot in as she walked over to an open book. "I was just researching the history of waffles. It's really actually quite fascinating, did you know waffles were the primary ammunition of the third Draco-griffin war?" "That's schoolhouse history, Twi, everypony knows that." "To be fair, I wasn't ever in a schoolhouse." Twilight shrugged. "I was homeschooled and breezed through all the grade-level tests before I even got my cutie mark. In retrospect that might have had something to do with my belief that the only way to survive Canterlot was to be the best at whatever you tried to be so that you wouldn't be dragged through the muck." She gave a high pitched giggle. "Sorry, I wiped my mind yesterday, and I'm still a little unbalanced." Applejack froze. "Ya... wiped your mind?" "Yep! I also gave myself instructions not to visit Fluttershy's cottage or seek out Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash." Twilight shrugged with a smile. "This will be my... eighth mind wipe I think." "Tenth," Spike corrected from the couch, not even looking up from his comic book. "Right, yep!" She gave Spike a wide grin. "Thanks!" Then she turned back to Applejack, eyes widening as if just noticing her. "Oh! You're here! Right! Applejack, sorry, I'm still off. Why are you here?" "Ah.... it...." The farmpony looked away. "It's nothin', Twi. Nothin' important." She cleared her throat. "Sooooo. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash?" "It's not what you think," Spike said casually. "I'd say more, but that would get Twilight curious and she's not allowed to think about why she mind wiped herself." "It's true!" Twilight chirped happily. "It's in the regulations and everything! I know because I studied them all and earned my self-oriented memory removal liscense when I was ten!" She giggled. "All but my first memory wipe have been self performed! I am an expert! WHEEEEE!" "She'll calm down in an hour or two," Spike assured a gaping Applejack. "And before you go on about how wrong that is, you should know that her parents actually did lock the door before the situation which resulted in her first memory wipe occurred." "He means I teleported in on them," Twilight whispered with unnatural glee. "While they were having sex. I think it was traumatic, but I can't remember anymore." She giggled. "You have freckles. I think there are six of them!" "That's... right Twilight!" Applejack smiled nervously. "Granny always calls 'em birdspots though... speakin' o' which Ah should probably go check on Macintosh and his marefriend." "Oh alright! I'll probably be embarrassed later and come by to say sorry you saw me like this." Twilight tilted her head. "Unless you're flying because Mac's marefriend is a pegasus because that's the only leap I can see from birdspots. Oh, did you know that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are pegasi--?" She suddenly gasped. "Oh my gosh. They're Macintosh's marefriend! Both of them at the same time! THAT'S WHY I WIPED MY MEMORY!" "Off by a mile," Spike countered without a care, flipping to a new page in his comic book. He did quirk an eyecrest when he glanced up though. "Pinkie, why are you holding up a seven?" "Because Twilight's gasping skills are decent, but not great." "GAH!" Applejack jumped away from the pink mare next to her. "When did YOU get here?!" "Twelve seconds ago," Pinkie said, trotting over to Twilight. "Hey there! You look not like yourself at all!" "Nope! I'm still very loosegoosy in my noodle!" Twilight flipped her mane back and forth to demonstrate, and then some more because the flashes of blackish blue in the edge of her vision were just so cool. "Oh hey! You said you wouldn't help me during chapter five!" "Yeah, but this is chapter ten. So it's totally okay." Pinkie giggled, flipping her mane along with Twilight. "Wow, this is fun!" "It is!" "It so is!" "Why are you saying chapters? Are we in a story?" "In an infinite multiverse everyone is in a story, because every story happens somewhere. Thereby, by exploiting the framework of believing that one is in a story, one can find sudden story twists which are remarkably benificial to oneself. It pays to vary the story from day to day, however, as one cannot always be the protagonist." Pinkie shrugged. "But no, I don't think we're in a story, I just say that to screw with the readers." "Oh my gosh that's so deep! If I weren't so busy flipping my mane right now I'd probably think that you were secretly a genius or something!" Applejack cleared her throat. "Well, since Ah.... can't really contribute anything to this mane flippin' stuff, so Ahm' gonna go." "But AJ you have an awesome mane!" "She's right! You have an awesome mane!" "It's so awesome!" "It is!" "Spike, keep these two from hurtin' themselves, ya hear?" "Got it."