Author's note: As noted in the previous chapter, this was our attempt to salvage what we could from this screwed up storyline, but as you might expect there was only so much we could do with it considering how far fetched it had already become. Also of note is that for the first few scenes of this chapter Kirensia was still having some trouble taking this seriously.
Last time on "Friendship is Magic Ad Libbed"...
"I HATE PARTIES."
Pinkie's smile turned upside down.
"Pinkie Pie, have we seen her before?"
Faustia mutated into a giant monster.
"It's fun to be scared!"
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU RUINED THE-"
"It's the day we met Twilight! We must prepare a party for her by tonight!"
Then there was an explosion.
The smoke settled, revealing the arrival of Princess Celestia. The explosion had been caused by her flying in and deflecting Faustia's attack.
As Celestia and Faustia fought, Pinkie and Spike lay on the ground, their flying contraption having been destroyed by the explosion. Pinkie got up and shook herself off.
"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Spike moaned.
A pink slug crawled out of Pinkie's mouth. It was a gummy slug. No one commented on it.
Spike had just managed to get himself to sit up straight when Faustia came around the library and ate him. NOMMMM.
Not capable of cartoon tricks to the same degree as Pinkie Pie, it was all Spike could do to cling onto the inside of Faustia's throat, resisting peristalsis. "Help!" he shouted.
Faustia vomited on Pinkie as Spike got stuck in her throat, ejecting the young dragon. Pinkie popped out of the pile of vomit, making an effort to shake bits of puke out of her mane. She was only half successful. As she saw Faustia bearing down, she screamed and ran away.
"Wait up, Pinkie!" Spike called, running after the pink pony.
They ran around to the front of the library. "What happened to Twilight?" Spike asked. "She was here a moment ago."
'Maybe she's inside!" Pinkie suggested. She opened the library door.
Taffy Cluck's vomit flooded out. Spike hadn't gotten around to cleaning the inside of the library yet.
"Twilight, are you in there?" Pinkie asked, apparently not bothered by the vomit.
"No, I'm sitting in a pool of dragon spit," came Twilight's voice. Twilight's disembodied head appeared in the darkness of the room. Spike fell over in fright.
Pinkie turned on the lights and blew out the candle that had been illuminating Twilight's face. "Oh, you!" Pinkie giggled. "Did you see that terrible monster, Twilight? It almost blew us up and ate Spike! Good thing Princess Celestia showed up earlier!" She bounced about in excitement.
"Yeah, about that..." Spike said, getting up sheepishly. "Where did she go?"
"She went to meet with Donald Dormouse," Twilight answered.
"But that monster is still out there, Twilight!" said Spike. "You have to do something!"
Just then, Faustia bombed the library with a vomit explosion and a swarm of aglet cats. Aglet cats are cats with aglets for whiskers. Fortunately for everyone inside, she couldn't keep up the attack for long, because she soon collapsed from esophageal damage and returned to her alicorn form.
Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike were rushing Faustia to the hospital.
"So what was that all about?" Spike wondered, still confused. "Who is she and why was she attacking us?"
"She is someone who is beyond our control... our plane," Twilight explained. "Yet... we must help her."
"Have you met her before?" asked Spike.
"Of course she has, silly!" Pinkie spoke up. "We can't be the only two who can see the wall!"
As the three arrived at the hospital, carrying Faustia, they realized that something strange was going on.
The entire world around them was crumbling. Things that shouldn't have been melting, such as mountains and buildings and the very landscape itself, were melting. Everything around them was inexplicably blurring.
"What's happening?" demanded Spike, feeling dizzy again. "I think... I need to... sit down."
The color of their surroundings was bleeding out onto the ground. Pinkie took a lick of the swirling hues.
"Look what I made!" she declared. She had licked the puddle into the shape of a heart.
"Is that a polygon?" Twilight asked.
The ground quaked and drained itself of its color, muddying and distorting Pinkie's puddle.
"Now it is!" Pinkie announced happily.
Thump thump. Thump thump. The ground continued to shake. "I bet we'll have to get to the heart of this problem!" Twilight joked, winking at the others.
"How can you be so calm?" Spike pointed out. "The world is ending. Can't you do something, Twilight?"
"... Uhh, perhaps..." Twilight said as she overcame the sheer surreality of their predicament and the actual implications hit her. "I'll try my best." The unicorn lowered her horn and stabbed it into the ground. Magical energy began to surge through the earth.
Hospital staff rushed out of the crumbling hospital building, some bearing patients on stretchers. Pinkie tried to flag them down, but they kept running.
"Look up there!" one of them shouted.
The sky itself was falling, losing its color. A great torrent of blue poured down from the sky.
"Can't you at least take her with you?" Pinkie pleaded, pointing at the now-unconscious Faustia.
Meanwhile, Twilight's spell had restored the path they were standing on of its original color, but only briefly. The colors quickly seeped away again. Twilight sank to the ground, too exhausted to make a second effort.
Spike looked around in despair at all the ponies, who were either too frantic or too exhausted to be of much help. What to do, what to do...? he thought.
Then it occurred to him. Wait! There's one thing I can do. He pulled out his writing supplies, but found that his quill had already disintegrated as well, leaving only a brown smudge on his fingers. In desperation, he dabbed a finger in Pinkie's puddle and used the colorful liquid to write on a piece of parchment.
Dear Princess Celestia, he wrote. SOS. Spike. Blowing on the parchment with his magical fire, he sent his emergency letter to the Princess.
"Callin' me?" The Princess materialized above him in a flash.
"Princess Celestia!" Spike called. "You've got to..." He gestured frantically at the scene.
The Princess began to power up a spell so complicated it required verbal incantations. "Ickity ackity flap flap, ziggity zaggity zoo, oo ah ah, too faaa faa, flippity flapity floo," she muttered.
"Done," Celestia announced as she fired her spell. Order was restored.
After about five seconds, however, colors squirted up like a fountain once more, drenching everyone. The very lines forming the shape of the ground broke apart. A giant hole split the earth, revealing nothing but empty space.
Pinkie hopped over to the hole. "It's the wall!" she cried in recognition.
Spike also walked up to the edge of the chasm out of curiosity, but almost immediately his color started draining away. He stumbled backward and fell, avoiding the effect of the tear in dimensional space. Though not quite transparent, he was noticeably paler than usual.
The hole continued to widen.
Without a word, Faustia suddenly opened her eyes and stood up. She charged a surge of power into her horn.
A massive wind blew across the landscape, radiating from Faustia in all directions. For a moment, everything as far as the eye could see was bathed in the glow of her magic. Everyone watched in awe as the powerful spell restored everything to normal. As the wind settled and the light died down, however, Faustia seemed on the verge of collapsing again.
"Where did my puddle go?" asked Pinkie sadly.
"What? Why? What just happened?" Spike stammered.
"I hope you have learned a valuable lesson, my little ponies," Celestia began.
"But why did she attack us and then save us?" Spike broke in.
"Perhaps..." said Celestia wisely, "in her last moments, she realized that some things ought not to be interfered with, that they need time to grow."
"That is correct." With miraculous effort, Faustia straightened up and spread her wings. Even in her weakened state, she seemed surrounded in an aura of authority that commanded respect. Flapping her wings, she rose vertically into the sky.
"I will be returning to my world now, my little ponies," she announced. "Do not worry, I will be fine there. Apologies for disrupting what was to be a very special day for you all." As she winked out of sight, she restored Twilight's strength, Spike's color, and Pinkie's puddle.
"Yay!" exclaimed Pinkie, drawing a big smiley face on the ground with the multicolored puddle.
Then, without warning, she jumped ten feet into the air.
"Twilight!" she said excitedly. "We must get back to the library this instant!"
"To what?" Twilight asked.
A horrible stench came floating on a breeze, wreaking havoc on everypony's nostrils.
"Oh, yeah," Spike remembered. "We never finished cleaning off that vomit, and Faustia must have overlooked that part..."
Ignoring the stench, Pinkie answered Twilight's question. "You'll see when you get there! Come on!"
Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike arrived at the library, but as they approached they heard some strange random noises coming from inside it.
"Uhhhh..." Pinkie realized that their friends were inside the library preparing for the party she had suggested. "Maybe we shouldn't come back so soon, Twilight!" she said cheerfully. "Come on, let's go find that Taffy Cluck pony. He seemed really cranky when I met him; maybe we can help him out!" Without waiting for an answer, she nudged Twilight away from the library and they set off in search of Taffy Cluck.
Role distribution for this story
Kirensia: Princess Celestia, Faustia, Twilight Sparkle
Powderjaggy: Pinkie Pie, Spike, hospital staff, Faustia (after climax)
According to Kirensia, Taffy Cluck survived his off-screen encounter with Faustia from the last chapter and now works at Sugarcube Corner making his signature taffy.