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// 4. I'm too old for this crap 
// Story: The Humans Return 
// by Synthetic Soul 
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Celestia fell asleep with ease. She and the others had arrived at Canterlot during the late hours of the night, and thus she was prepared to get some well-deserved sleep. She knew she’d have to get up to raise the sun, eventually, but for the moment, she was content with resting on her bed. She was at complete peace, warmed by her blankets, and the body heat of the child. This moment was peaceful and content…until she was awoken by the crying wails of said Human.

Celestia jolted upward, eyes wide open. She scanned the room, searching for the source of the noise. After about ten seconds, she remembered the infant in the room, and turned her head to look at him.

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot about you,” said the sleepy princess. She then turned her head to gaze out the window, to see a star covered night sky. “Oh, come on! The sun’s not even out yet, I shouldn’t be awake yet…oh wait.” Once she remembered that she always awoke before the sun, she got up from her bed, with the infant in her magical grasp. She then set him down on the covers, and inspected him to see what the matter was. It didn’t take long, because once she smelled the air, she turned green with sickness.

“Oh sweet merciful me, that is foul! Ew, I was holding him next to me! That is so gross, I’m going to need to bathe for an hour!” Her entire body shivered, before she returned her gaze to Apollo. “Well, little one, it is clear you need to be changed.” Celestia was about to go find some diapers, when she realized that she didn’t have any. The castle was populated souly by adults. The last infant to be housed in the palace was Spike, and that was many years ago. His had long since been thrown out. So what was she to use? 

Celestia looked around her room. She couldn’t leave the castle, and leave the child unattended, and she wasn’t ready to tell anypony about him yet. She needed some sort of temporary solution. Her gaze finally settled on the curtains hanging from her windows.

“I didn’t care much for those curtains anyway,” she said as she magically ripped one of the curtains off the rack, and then levitated it over to her. She then ripped it in two, setting one on the bed, and moving the baby onto it, while setting the other next to it. She then used her magic to remove the diaper. She levitated it in the air for a few seconds, trying to think of how to dispose of it. She decided incinerating it would be the best and most sanitary way of getting rid of it (she clearly needed more sleep). 

That instantly backfired on her, filling the air with the worst smell she’d ever smelled, nearly causing her to drop it. Coughing, and choking on the air, she ran into her private bathroom, disposed of the diaper in her trashcan. 

Sighing, Celestia walked back into her room with her head hanging low.

“I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing,” she muttered. She was tired and inexperienced in the skill of caring for a child. She sat down and took a moment to compose her thoughts. But after a few seconds the whining of the human returned her to the situation. “Oh, that’s right.” Focusing her task, she finished the process of changing the child’s diaper. Once she finished, she sighed a sigh of relief. “I can’t believe some ponies have to do this with their mouths.” She shuddered at the thought.

Once finished, she was finally able to take a moment to rest. She climbed onto her bed with the human. She levitated him over to herself, and closed her eyes, preparing for a few hours of sleep before she had to raise the sun. She quickly succumbed to her tiredness, drifting into a blissful sleep. For about five minutes, until she heard the chiming of her clock, signaling it was time for her to raise the sun. 

“Oh me dammit!” she muttered.




It was now a few hours after the raising of the sun. Celestia had teleported into her sister’s room, and asked that she watch Apollo, until she made the announcement to the ponies of Canterlot about the newest member of the royal family. She had made a decree that all castle staff and citizens of Canterlot be there for the announcement, which was scheduled for later that day. 

Currently, Celestia was busy reading up on as much information as she could find on humans. She had borrowed the book Twilight had been reading, as well as a few other books on the subject. So far, she had found that Human infants, for the most part, they were similar to pony foals. They drank milk for a long time, ate baby food, and behaved the same as foals. They also leaned to speak at the same rate as baby ponies. But where pony foals were capable of walking on all fours in virtually no time at all, Human babies took a long time to learn to walk on two legs. Also, their teeth took a longer time to come in.

What worried Celestia was the fact that eventually, humans needed to consume meat, in order to gain the protein that they needed. This would be a challenge. The only nearby nation that consumed meat was the Griffin Empire, but Equestria wasn’t exactly best friends with them. But perhaps there was some way to get it. But that was an issue for another day.

As she read, she found herself fascinated with the knowledge she was obtaining. What interested her most was the information about the Humans strange powers. Instead of using wings to fly, they were able to levitate themselves through an advanced form of telekinesis. Their levitation was far stronger than the average Unicorn. Their physical strength started to develop around 7 years of age. Around that point, they gained high levels of natural strength. It was at that point that the Human Empire put it’s young through advanced strength training, designed to push them to even more extreme levels. And, through meditation, and breathing exercises, they were able to connect to their inner life force, their Chi. They used this to not only enhance their physical prowess, but also to produce energy attacks, which could be used much like combat magic.

As Celestia read more and more, she found herself drifting from the fear she used to feel, towards a more relaxed, and curious state. She was learning so much. The thing that really gave her hope about raising this child was the fact that the cruelty that the race was associated with was learned, and not actually a natural trait. Human society had developed itself as militaristic, and while they had evolved as a predator species, they actually had the potential to be kind and caring, depending on how they were raised. 

Even with these established facts, the generations of living this way made aggression and the desire to be strong warriors became somewhat of a genetic trait. The ability to gain strength, and harness higher brain functions and chi was present and easily accessed by all humans, but practice was required to bring them to the advanced level. And apparently being an apex predator, along with fighting for so long led to aggressive tendencies. But as previously stated, only if the fire is stoked does it lead to the cruelty that the Humans were known for.

Without warning, Celestia heard her name being called. She jolted up in surprise, her focus finding a solar guard in front of her.

“My Apologies your highness, I didn’t mean to scare you,” said the guard.

“It’s quite alright,” replied the princess after calming down. “What can I do for you?”

“Your highness, it is time for your announcement to the city.” Celestia’s eyes widened as she gazed at the clock on the wall. It was indeed time. She must have been reading for hours. “Thank you. You are dismissed.” The guard saluted, and then turned to leave. Celestia looked down to her book. She placed a bookmark in it, and closed the book.  She hovered it next to her and used her magic to teleport her to her room. She set the book down on her bed. She then turned to gaze at her balcony. It would be there that she would make the announcement. Luna would appear soon with the baby.

“Alright,” said Celestia to herself. “Show time!”