//------------------------------// // 7 - The Hip is In // Story: Brayside Crush // by Outlaw Quadrant //------------------------------// “Incoming seagulls at two o’clock!” Through the shifting fog, Radar hurtled over several overgrown tree branches. Applejack and Blitz quickly followed suit while Fluttershy trailed at the rear, shrieking at the sound of incoming torpedoes. “Where are they coming from,” Applejack asked. “Duck,” Radar commanded. “Now!” All four threw themselves onto a prickly shrub, avoiding six pairs of outstretched legs whooshing above them. Soon, the birds disappeared back into the mist, laughing despite missing their intended targets. Applejack crawled out of the bush and hind-kicked the nearest visible trunk. “Lousy good-for-nothing varmits!” She pulled out a stinger, “Cowards too!” “Do we have to keep playing defense?” Blitz bemoaned, shaking off bits of bark. “Find me some coconuts and I’ll have them running!” “But we can’t,” Fluttershy insisted a she worked on restoring her mane to its usual flowing shape. “At least not until we find their leader and see if we can make peace with them.” Applejack snorted. “Well, I’m running out of patience. Please tell me we’re getting closer to their home, Radar. I’m getting might tired of all this dodging.” The teal unicorn activated her horn. “One minute, please.” “And how about you talking to them, Fluttershy?” Applejack dusted off her Stetson, “We’ve had plenty of chances to hear them yapping at us, unfortunately.” “Enough to start a conversation, I think,” she answered, tapping together her forelegs, “Um, actually, for all the noise they make, the seagulls don’t actually say much. They mostly laugh at us and—” Pink appeared on her cheeks “—um, say some not-so-nice things.” “Pardon me, Fluttershy, but I detect a large pit less than half a mile away,” Radar briefed the group. “Based on the concentration of seagulls, there’s a high probability it’s their residence. However, we are currently on high terrain and after analyzing the local geography, a direct route may be too treacherous. I have calculated a safer route but it will take us at least two hours to reach the site.” Suddenly, faraway caws had them looking around the swirling white ocean. “Hours? Forget hours,” Blitz proclaimed, placing a firm foreleg on top of a rock. “Radar? We can still go straight to their place, right?” “Feasible but I would not recommend—” “Then straight ahead it is! Why get our flanks chased around for hours when we can get there in minutes? Just gotta watch our step and we’ll be right at their doorstep!” Applejack smiled wryly. “Heh. I actually agree with yellow belly’s thinking. I say we do it!” “Oh, this is well beyond my mission scope,” said Radar, twirling her neat bangs. “I’m unsure I could partake in this journey.” Blitz swaggered up to her. “Now, now. Like I was gonna let a pretty mare like you get hurt.” He extended a hoof, “Just take a ride on the Pineapple Express. I’ll do the rest.” Before Applejack could utter an “Oh brother,” she gaped as Radar climbed onto the back of the tall stallion and clung onto his neck with nary a change in her passive expression. At least until black dots materialized in the fog. “Seagulls approaching from seven o’clock!” Radar’s horn flashed a few rings of light. “Intercept in fifteen seconds!” “Let’s not burn time, then!” Blitz grunted. “Think you can stay with me, Jack? Shy?” “Just watch me,” replied the cowpony, adjusting the brim of her hat. Fluttershy opened her mouth. Blitz reared up, “Blitz, yeah! Let’s roll!” Once again, the group was on the lamb from their unseen pursuers. Despite the bumpy ride, Radar kept her magic aura active; three seconds of forward visibility meant somepony had to be a real-time navigator. “Head down! Low branches! And we’re clear! Loose rocks ahead! Keep your—” Radar gasped. “Small drop approaching!” Applejack whipped back her head. “Where? I don’t see it!” “Jump, right about, now!” Two earth ponies leaped into the air, spreading their hooves wide. They slipped through some hanging vines before landing on a puddle, splashing droplets right into Fluttershy’s path. She zipped right through it without losing speed but behind her, the seagulls’ caws intensified. “Gentle ascent starting, now!” Radar readjusted her hold on Blitz’s neck. “Land drops severely ahead! Slide over hard left!” As the party shifted path, sunlight poked holes through the mist. While the fog persisted on the left side, the right revealed a brightening blue canvas covered by distant purple majesties. Far below them, snaking blue streams sliced through vast green expanses. Closer to eye level, a few canopies rose above the land’s edge with macaws resting near the top. Some seagulls broke off the main group and chased the birds deeper into the forest valley. “You mea—” Fluttershy slapped her face. “No, no. I must be nice. I must be nice.” Radar craned her head around Blitz’s hair. “In fifteen seconds, jump at the top of the hill. Then, downward slope of at least forty five degrees!” Applejack’s pupils bulged. “That steep, Radar? Hey, now! Don’t ya think we should slow down a bit?” Blitz flashed a sneer. “Apple turning sour?” “Um, no. No! I’d rather drink apple vinegar than lose to a Pineapple!” Suddenly, the fog ahead parted. A gentle rise in terrain greeted them followed by empty sky. “There’s something on the other side, right? Right?” At the top of the hill, she went airborne over a fissure and landed on loose silt. Left and right the cowpony veered like a novice ice skater who had no clue how to slow her momentum. Even with a clear view and Radar’s constant instructions, she danced on the edge of control. A low-lying branch then knocked her Stetson clean off her head. “Nooooo!” Fluttershy snatched it in mid-flight. “Fluttershy! Just hold on to—” A dip in the ground turned Applejack into an orange tumbleweed. “Applejack!” Fluttershy pumped her wings even harder. “Hold on!” At the same time, Blitz shifted his path so that Radar could also attempt a save from the other side. “I can’t, quite—” Yellow sparkles sparkled around Applejack. “She’s moving too fast for a lock! Closer, Mister Pineapple! Closer!” With perfect timing, Radar and Fluttershy had Applejack suspended in midair. “Tree,” Radar exclaimed. “Push her, Miss Fluttershy! Push!” Fluttershy shoved Applejack into Blitz’s back before swinging around a dead piece of bark. “What a gnarly save, ladies! Woo!” Blitz hollered as he splashed into mud. “Those birds can’t mess with us! Are we losing them?” “My deepest apologies,” Radar panted, her magical aura flickering around Applejack. “I’m afraid I’m too preoccupied trying to keep our friend from flying off to get a bearing.” Fluttershy did a head check; all she saw was steep terrain. “I don’t see them anymore! I think we lost them! Maybe we can slow down?” Blitz lowered his pace while the landscape around him began smoothing over. By the time he reached walking speed, they had reached the bottom of a ravine. Trees grew sideways out of the rising land on both sides, casting the entire area in a perpetually shifting shadow. “What a workout,” Blitz wheezed in between breaths. “You could say that,” replied Radar, favoring her horn. “I’m afraid it will take a few minutes before my magic recharges. Are you injured, Miss Applejack?” Applejack rolled off the stallion’s back. “Whoaaaa, okay now!” After a slight wobble, she started meandering beside Blitz. “That was like riding an angry bull at the rodeo but I can shake it off.” Fluttershy returned her hat. “Thanks, sugarcube.” “You’re welcome. I just hope that we can, ahhhhh!” “What’s wrong, Flutter–shy. Whoa, nelly!” They all had walked into the middle of a clearing within the jungle forest. Cliffs rose well above their heads with the top draped with overhanging vines. Perched alongside the walls were brown and white seagulls numbering in the hundreds, staring down upon them with their beady eyes. None of their beaks made a sound except for one, a male seagull standing by the entrance to a small cave near the bottom of the pit. His feathers were longer than the rest and when he walked to the edge of an outcropping, his shadow ballooned to a size that enveloped all four visitors beneath him. Fluttershy walked halfway up a slope leading to the ledge before the tall bird made more noise. “Um, hello?” Fluttershy raised a trembling foreleg, “M–mister seagull? Do you mind if I have a word with—” All the seagulls flapped their wings and made grating noise, which echoed off the walls. Their leader stomped the ground, instantly ceasing the chatter. “I’m sorry, Master Pinion,” she said after doing a small bow. “I’m here on behalf of the citizens of Brayside Beach and the animals of this jungle on a mission of peace. I was just wondering why you keep, um, how can I put this nicely? You’re not being the best of neighbors with everyone around here? Why is that?” The stout seagull promptly quacked. Fluttershy scratched her head. “Um, okay? So if understood you right, you’re saying that everyone around here is intruding on your territory?” Master Pinion made a noise with an upward inflection. “Hey!” Blitz shook his foreleg. “Even I know what that meant! Not cool! Brayside’s been here way longer than you feather b—” Applejack muzzled his mouth. “Pipe down. You don’t wanna start a fight dab smack in the middle of enemy territory.” “And why do you say this is your area,” Fluttershy asked the leader. “Is there some agreement that we’re not aware about?” Pinion spoke again for about ten seconds. “Because you say so?” Fluttershy paused to glance at her friends. “Um, I don’t… that doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t make sense at all. I’ve talked to some of the animals out here and they say you’re the ones that are the newcomers to the area. I don’t see how—” The leader interrupted her with blunt terse quacking. Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no. That’s not how it works. You’re supposed to share the land with—” Pinion flapped his wings and cawed, prompting many other seagulls to do the same. Applejack waved herself off with her hat. “Um, Radar? You might want to start looking for an escape route.” The unicorn got off Blitz’s back. “Attempting to search now but my magic is still—” “Hey!” Fluttershy hovered up to the leader’s eye level, hooves on hips. “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say but I’ll be nice and let it slide. Now, can we please—?” The seagulls increased their chatter. “You naughty birds,” she screeched, stomping a hoof on the dirt. “Didn’t you mothers teach you proper manners? That’s not how you talk to a lady! Apologize this instant!” After a brief pause, guffaws broke out in the pit. A few turned around and wagged their behinds at the negotiator that had a worsening case of epilepsy. “That’s, it!” Flutteshy slammed her eyelids shut. “I’m sorry I have to do this but you all need to learn your lesson!” In the span of seconds, the clearing within the tropical forest became a library, the birds’ attention focused solely on the little spitfire scolding them with nothing more than a stare. The other ponies looked in the other direction, unwilling to press their luck despite being a friend rather than foe. Even Applejack could taste bitterness in the air; Fluttershy wasn’t holding back one bit. Surely, she had succeeded in taming the birds. Finally, one seagull flew over Fluttershy and dropped white goo over her head. When she dodged it and squealed at the splatter, the birds cackled their defiance. “W–hat?” Fluttershy stumbled back, falling on her hindquarters. “My stare didn’t work?” Pinion raised a wing, prompting the seagulls to leave their perches and circle around the pit. “I may not speak seagull-ese but something tells me we should go,” Applejack stuttered, taking small steps in reverse. “Like, five seconds ago.” “I’ve discovered an underground route a quarter of a mile away,” Radar whispered. “Behind and to the right, there’s an opening in a rock face that leads right to it. If we can just distract the seagulls for a few seconds, one of us can—” Blitz grabbed all three mares like pieces of lumber and tossed them on his back. “We’re outta here!” The stallion then galloped back toward the ravine at his best possible speed, closely followed by a throng of birds. “I didn’t ask you to rescue me,” Applejack complained. “I could’ve—” A head throb had her clasping his mane to avoid going overboard. “Consarn it. Okay. You made the right call. This time.” “It appears this mission has not been entirely successful,” said Radar, hanging her head. Fluttershy pouted her lips. “I’m so sorry. I was certain the seagulls would listen to me. I let everypony down.” “Don’t beat yourself up,” Applejack reassured her. “At least we know where they live now. We’ll come up with another plan. Besides, maybe making all this ruckus here means we’re giving the beach team a breather.” “Run! Get to shelter!” At the festival site, ponies scrambled like headless chickens as ten seagulls targeted them at every opportunity. Some jumped into half-finished booths and hid under flat sheets of lumber. Others clung onto the side of a wagon climbing the dusty hill at high speed. The fortunate crawled below the skeleton of what would be the main stage, an area where the support columns proved an effective deterrent against any birds from squeezing in between them. One made an attempt anyways, flailing right at Spike and several other cowering ponies. The rounded edge of a surfboard kept the seagull at bay until it retreated into the air and joined some others in pecking on a tent. “Thanks a lot, Blossom,” Spike blubbered, hugging her copper red hoof. “Don’t thank me yet, Spike.” She surveyed what little sky she could see, “Where is Light Shower? He’s supposed to mount a defense along with the other pegasi!” The dragon shrugged before noticing a unicorn darting across the patchy field. “Twilight,” Spike shouted. “We’re over here! Hurry!” Twilight made a beeline down an aisle of benches, her horn spewing laser beams that hit none of its oncoming targets. A bird then flew right into her hooves, knocking her onto the ground. As she flailed on the one flapping seagull, half a dozen birds swooped in for an attack. “Twi–light!” Before Spike could ask for help, Blossom wriggled out from below the stage and raised her instrument of justice above her head. “Seagulls! Sea-gulls! Get, off, my, beach!” A red freight locomotive charged straight at Twilight’s assailants. When she got within ten feet of her targets, she slid through the sand and swung her hindquarters forward, surfboard and all. Thwack! Blossom popped three seagulls deep into the sky where they twinkled out of sight. Two others landed two hundred feet away on top of a canopy, stars swirling over their heads. “Who’s, next?” she huffed, swatting in the direction of the remaining birds. The invaders flapped toward the north, wanting no part to partake in batting practice. Moments afterwards, ponies emerged from their hiding spots and showered Blossom with unyielding praise. “It was nothing,” she chirped, tossing her hair aside before sticking her surfboard deep into the ground. “Just doing my job—” Light Shower landed in front of her. “—Unlike somepony I know! Where were you, Light Shower?” “Oh, just got caught up chatting with Rarity and a few of the ponies back at the shop,” he replied while using a toothpick. “Did I miss something, girl?” Blossom’s lashes flickered. “You could say that. Here, I’ll get you up to speed.” Before she could knock some sense into him, a magical aura snatched the surfboard beyond her reach. “Twilight!” She crunched the bits of sand beneath her hoof. “What are you doing?” “There is such a thing called dialogue, Blossom,” the prissy unicorn lectured. “There’s no need to use your surfboard all the time.” “Then explain to me how I saved you from those seagulls just now. Oh, and you’re welcome, by the way.” Twilight turned off her horn and the surfboard flopped onto the field. “Yes, I suppose that was the best option for that one moment but let me show you how to handle this situation.” She calmly walked right up to Light Shower. “You’re a valuable member of this team and we really could’ve used your help just now. Please don’t be tardy again.” Blossom cast a glance at Spike. “How do you put up with this bunch of—?” “Now, unfortunately, it looks like our pegasi backup has fled,” Twilight continued. “Light Shower, please gather them back up. Everypony else, let’s get back to work. We’ve got a schedule to keep.” After some initial hesitation, the festival workers were once again moving again with their assigned tasks. “That Twilight,” Blossom mumbled. “Who told her she can give out orders?” When Spike turned to the redhead, flames sprouted from deep within her orange eyes. “D–do you need a drink, Blossom” the dragon asked. After one long exhale, she gave him a pat on the head. “You know, that sounds like a great idea.” A shadow cast over her face. “In fact, I think we all need something delish right about now and I know just the pony to bring it here. Oh, Twilight? I have another errand for you!” Fresh crisp mountain air and not too thin either. Rainbow breathed it all in along with her surroundings: the thin evergreens covering much of the rolling green expanse, the squirrels playing hide and seek around the bushes and a clear view of sierras high as she could see. Nearby, a filly walking down the meandering gravel road snapped a shot at the snow covered peaks. She then joined her mother who had just finished conversing with Swift. “Any luck,” Rainbow asked as she hovered alongside him over the slightly inclining rocky path. “She hasn’t seen Hipster either. Guess we’ll be hitting the caverns after all.” “And where’s that, exactly?” “A few minutes away that way,” he responded, pointing straight ahead. “No rush, though. You’re on vacation, after all. Gotta let you soak in the sights, right, Rainbow?” Another inhale later, she did a little stretch before fluttering backwards. “Yeah, I guess I can chill for a sec. So, um, you come up here often?” “Sometimes.” “So you know where this path leads to, right? The obstacles along the way and stuff? Where it ends?” “Straight through the caverns, through some redwoods, and ending by a river near a waterfall. Why are—” Swift curled an eyebrow. “Rainbow? I know what you’re thinking.” Rainbow grinned like an eager filly on the last day of school. Snickering, “What a shocker. Can’t let that last loss go, huh?” “For the record, that race didn’t count.” She crossed her hooves. “The banner was in the way.” He parroted her last statement. “So? I went around it. That’s what you do with obstacles, Rainbow. Swift drew an imaginary path, “A–round. See what that looks like?” “Well, duh! You think that—” She rolled over an outstretched branch and slowed to a stop. “Heh. You thought I was crashing into that, weren’t you?” “Wicked,” he answered, giving her a clap. “I’m actually impressed.” “What can I say? I’m just that awe… well, I am getting better at not crashing into things, thanks to you.” Did she just say that? Wow. She landed on the road below near a crest. “So, um, we’re racing?” “Eh? Oh. Right, right.” Swift touched down next to her. “But only because I wanna hear your excuse on why you lost this time around.” “Whatever,” said Rainbow, positioning into a runner’s stance. “You better get ready and, oh, I’m doing the countdown this time.” After the briefest of pauses, she shouted a “three” but then skipped right to “Go!” Seconds later, she peeked left; her nose lined up with the tip of his flapping light blue tail. No surprise but you’re not getting away! The clear path ahead meant Rainbow whittled away his start advantage. When the enveloping mountains turned into a violet blur, Rainbow passed above him and started to build a gap. Heh! I got… darnit! Are you kidding me? Rocky hillsides and slopes rose all around them, narrowing the available air space. The sharp and blind bends did her no favors either, forcing her to slow the pace or risk being cyan platter on a wall. It also ramped up her heartbeat with anticipation that the stallion behind her would make his move to re-take the lead. Friend or otherwise, she had no issues weaving all over the place to refuse him an easy opening. It worked for all of five seconds before a rock arch forced her into a quick decision – up or down. It made no difference. He took the opposite of her choice and with that, was soon side-by-side with her. Then, his appendages flared wide, dropping his speed dramatically. Rainbow stared at him in bewilderment before he mimicked the same expression. “Rainbow! Look—” Rainbow met face-to-face with vertical rock. “Out. Shoot.” Swift went over and pulled her off the wall. “Talk to me.” “I–I’m all right.” She pushed and pulled on her squished muzzle. “Just hurt my pride.” Rainbow touched a loose tooth. “Okay. Maybe a bit more than that. Why’d you stop?” “You mean you don’t hear it, Rainbow?” All she picked up was the wind rustling some nearby branches. Then, along the many cracks running across the rock face, she picked up a faint electrical noise emanating from the tall crevice at ground level. “That’s odd,” she remarked, threading into the opening. “Is that a jam I hear?” “Gotcha. He followed right behind her, “and something tells me that’s not coming from birds.” She nodded before pushing deeper into the dim contracting passageway. “By the way, I won that race.” He grunted confusion. “How can you say that? We didn’t even finish.” “That’s right. You stopped completely. By rule, that counts as a forfeit. Easy as that.” “Win by technicality? Even I know that’s weak.” “Whatever.” She winked. “It’s still a win.” Eventually, they reached a point where the space forced the pegasi to use hoof travel. They soon spotted a source of light emanating from a naturally forming crawlspace. Once both squeezed into the space, the tunes turned savage, tearing up their eardrums. Rainbow and Swift pressed on with urgency, hoping to find the source on the other side. They emerged in a large chamber with a high ceiling and lanterns providing a soft orange glow. The wall’s surface had endless corners that gave the space the rough shape of a dome. Right in the middle of the room was a long and wide table that had several dull black and grey boxes with moving dials and flashing lights. Wires weaved from ports in the back to tall speakers on both ends of the table and a turntable. The operator, a white mare with untamed blue hair and purple shades, continued playing her music, ignoring her new arrivals even as they stood directly across from her. “Vinyl!” Rainbow leaned over the table. “Hey! Can you—“ Scratch swiped her hoof across the turntable one last time. “Ohhhhhhh, damn! Now that was a killer setup, Amps!” Suddenly, another pony — a tan mare with dirty blond hair — popped into sight from under the table. “Killer?” She shifted her petite round orange shades downwards. “It was hip, but not quite hip enough.” “C’mon! Give yourself some cred, girl!” Vinyl then leaned across the turntable, grinning ear to ear. “So, how’s my little rockin’ duo hanging?” Rainbow and Swift gave her a puzzled gaze. “Re–wind! Back at the ‘Cube a few months back? You two were totally slamming it on the dance floor that night! Hey! Any shot at an encore?” Swift suddenly found enunciating impossible. “Well, t–that’s sorta why we’re, um, here,” Rainbow slurred. “Um, before we get into that, what exactly are you doing here, Vinyl? Rumor was that you were moving well outside Equestria or something.” Vinyl smirked. “Ponies love making up stories about me, don’t they? Actually, I’m just working on some new material but my equipment just wasn’t in the right tune for it. That’s where Hipster’s got my back. If she can’t make my stuff be sublime, nopony can.” “Hipster?” Swift muttered. “Whoa. You’ve never told me you work for Vinyl.” Amps clicked her tongue while leaning on the table. “Gotta keep some secrets, you know, Fly? Can’t have ponies lining up outside my shop just because I hang with DJPon.” “So I’m guessing this place is one of those secrets?” “Natch. It’s a little private studio away from town.” Her orange eyes glittered, “And just listen to the killer acoustics in here! Such clarity and pitch! You gotta be in a big city with bags of bits just to rent a room like this! Be a bro and don’t tell anypony about it, please?” “Gotcha, Amps. So, how about doing me a favor? Actually, big favor. You see, Rainbow and I are, um, there’s this… you know the headliner for the festival? They’re not coming so we’re filling a part of, the, aerial part of the act.” Vinyl did a quick scratch on the turntable. “Encore is, on!” “We’re also getting a rock band together but it’s gonna need a singer,” Swift continued. “That’s where you come in, Amps.” Her glasses all but slipped off her snout. “Hold up, hold up. Me singing? Fly? I think you got the wrong girl, here.” “Whatcha talking about, Hips?” Vinyl replied, pushing Hipster’s glasses back into place. “I’ve caught you busting a few verses a few times and you’ve got the talent. Not just ‘fifteen minutes of fame’ talent. I’m talking ‘put that girl on a big city billboard because she’s going places’ talent!” “It’s not that great, VS. I’ll just wreck ponies’ ears.” “Weak sauce!” She tossed over a microphone along with a scroll. “That’s a little something something I scribbled a few months ago. Yeah, yeah. Rip me for writing lyrics but, hey, gotta try new stuff.” “But—” “Let ‘er rip, Hip!” After flipping a few switches, the DJ cranked out another beat with enough energy that the three-pony audience bopped their heads to the rhythm. With nods of encouragement, Hipster Amps levitated the mike close to her mouth and spread all her hooves wider for a more aggressive stance. To the skies, I spread my wings and fly Clouds abound, I keep my eyes up high You cross my sights, so much faster than light Color splash! You come down and say hi-i Crash into my life! All of this time, I didn’t know you were there Now all I can do is hover and stare Set my mood to confuse Tell me which way is tru-e Takeoff with you to a brand new day Don’t deny me with a haughty neigh I wanna show you what I can do Let me fly with you Free my feelings from this prison See my wings in full glisten Let me fly with you Bust these clouds and we’re through! Vinyl threw in a guitar riff to end the song. Amps placed the mike on the table. “You see? My voice starts cracking when I have to push it.” “You make it sound like that’s a bad thing,” Rainbow reassured. “For a rock song, that totally, rocks! Right, Swift?” “Totally wicked stuff,” the stallion exclaimed. “Now I get why Blossom wanted you in the first place! C’mon. Give it shot.” Amps leaned against one of the speakers and sighed. “Are you sure you’re all cool with me? I’m not a big name or anything.” “But I am,” Scratch interjected. “No way I’m letting you step onto the big stage without backup.” Raising a foreleg, “C’mon. Bump me, girl.” After a few tense seconds, Amps gave Vinyl a side slap. Rainbow and Swift followed them with one of their own. “Whew! Glad that worked out,” Swift uttered. “Hope everypony else is having it this easy.” “Not again!” Spike ran between rows of stands as a seagull made a kamikaze run at him. “Help! Somepony help!” From above, Light Shower grabbed onto the fleeing dragon and pulled him away from a beak strike. Before the attacker could change course, a red light zapped off some of its feathers. “Leave Spike alone,” Twilight growled, her head sticking out of a small tent’s entrance twenty yards away. The seagull made a turn toward the unicorn but then saw Blossom – tail wrapped around her surfboard – galloping on the top of the tent. With a leap, she extended her wings and glided toward a collision course. “You’re next!” Blossom never got a chance to swing; all twelve seagulls retreated from the festival site. Light Shower and three other pegasi followed in hot pursuit. Blossom touched down and slid to a stop. “All clear, everypony!” Slowly, ponies amassed from behind booths, under tarps and overturned wagons. The last arrivals had Blossom doing a double take. “Radar? Fluttershy? When did you get here? I wasn’t expecting you back this early!” She facehoofed. “Do I need to ask how well your mission went?” Radar cleared her throat. “Apologies, ma’am. We did find their hideout but negotiations have failed. We had to make a hasty retreat.” “Fluttershy,” Twilight bemoaned. “What went wrong? Was it an issue with learning their language?” “I understood what they’re saying, Twilight, but—” Her body turned steaming red, —“ohhhh! I know I should love all animals but those seagulls have such, p–p–potty mouths!” The unicorn gasped. Fluttershy moved her pink hair over her face. “I’m sorry if I startled you. It’s just that I’m not sure I can reason with them at all. Even my stare didn’t work on them.” “Oh, dear. I suppose you and I need to come up—” Blossom coughed. “A–hem!” Twilight flicked her tail. “Fine. We will come up with another plan.” Her head moved back and forth. “Um, what happened with Applejack and Blitz? Weren’t they with you?” “Get back here, yellow belly!” “Can’t catch me, Slowjack!” Blitz galloped past a water tower reading Brayside Beach. Applejack was in hot pursuit ten feet away, gasping for balmy afternoon air. The upcoming three-way juncture was the finish line but all the loose silt and rocks beneath her hooves turned the road into Vaseline. While she did all she could to avoid another embarrassing fall, the stallion ahead of her reveled in slowing down just enough to give her false hopes. He slid to a stop right on the wider road lined with palm trees and then flexed his muscles in an in-your-face dance that would’ve made Rainbow Dash proud. “Don’t be full of yourself,” Applejack huffed, stopping next to the muscular stallion. “If this was Ponyville—” “If this was Ponyville, wahhhhh!” Blitz rubbed faked tears. “I would’ve crushed you, any time any place.” The cowpony mumbled a few curse words. “Just try beating me on my turf and I’ll take you behind the woodshed.” She took off her hat to wave off sweat, “So, where’s this farm of yours? The sooner we come up with a few blowout dishes for tomorrow, the less time I have to spend with you.” “Up the next small hill. Unless that’s too far for you.” She yanked on his goatee. “Just keep talking and this comes off!” Together, they walked on a gentle uphill path. Up ahead and to the right, white fencing enclosed a vast expanse of gentle rises and falls, its fields littered with leaves from her hated fruit sticking out of the dirt. Two silos peeked over the terrain, as did a few other small barns and outhouses. Before Applejack reached the crest, a green unicorn with curly long hair appeared over the top trotting in the opposite direction. To her side was a basket filled to the brim with honeydew melons. Any other fruit and she would’ve labeled this pony serious competition. However, three good reasons made her feel otherwise: she liked eating honeydews from time to time, the fruit was too niche to be a business threat and the pony carrying the fruit had a smile that would’ve made holding any ill will toward her a crime against common decency. “Afternoon,” said the passing unicorn in a chipper tone. “Howdy,” Applejack responded in kind, tipping her Stetson. The cowpony took a few more steps before noticing that Blitz had stopped to gaze at the unicorn continuing her journey. “Oh, for crying out loud!” Applejack dragged him by the tail, “This ain’t time to admire the scenery! We’ve got work to do!” “Misty,” the stallion whimpered, reaching out to her. Past the crest, the road ran relatively flat all the way to an opening in the fencing. At the entrance, a wooden pineapple shaped sign read Juicy Fruit Farms. A narrow path ran a short distance between the road and a two-story ranch house with a red roof, faded yellow paint on the walls and outdoor wooden shutters. She continued yanking the dejected stallion the rest of the way onto the porch and right up to the residence’s double doors. “Well, we’re here.” She let go of his tail. “Unfortunately.” “You could’ve given me one minute to talk with her,” he complained, eyes turning watery. “I never get to talk to her.” “But you live in the same town! How come you just… ugh!” Applejack yanked down on the lid of her hat. “No! Oh, no! Don’t look at me like that! I ain’t getting involved with your problems! There enough of this mushy drama around as it is already!” “Huh?” Applejack pushed him through the doors, “Never mind!”