//------------------------------// // Featherweight // Story: The Search for Scootaloo // by defender2222 //------------------------------// “I can’t believe this is working,” Twilight muttered as she walked through the streets of Ponyville, nodding at the occasional pony that walked past her on the sidewalk. “I told you it was a great plan!” Spike said with a cocky smirk from his perch on Twilight’s back. “You don’t realize it but ponies are pretty naïve when it comes to looks. You see somepony look even a little bit different and you assume it is a totally different mare or stallion! Thus, we throw on these disguises and we can blend right in.” Twilight frowned, wanting to refute that claim but finding it impossible; mostly because the claim was working. Had she attempted to walk down the street looking like herself her neighbors (‘Subjects, they are your subjects; You need to remember to call them that. Also, don’t call them Winkie Poohs, as that just seems to upset them’) would have swarmed her, moaning that she needed to find Scootaloo. But put on Spike’s white fedora from his little growth spurt episode and a moustache (she had known that spell would have a good use!) and no pony said a word. The same was true of Spike, who had managed to find a cowboy hat and get Twilight to give him a nice short stubbly beard over his entire face. “I still think there was a better plan, Spi-“ “Ahem,” the baby dragon said, clearing his throat and giving her a challenging look. “…Rickety Grimes,” Twilight said, her eyes shut in annoyance. Which wasn’t that good of an idea when one was walking. “Ow!” Twilight yelped, rubbing her sore nose and glaring at the light pole that had rudely stayed in her way and not moved (one might assume this thought to be nuts but considering that Twilight lived in a world where wolves were made of actual wood, a light pole that was able to move wasn’t that crazy). “Just walked down the middle of the street,” Spike commented. “Not like anyone is using this side.” Twilight glanced over at the steady stream of ponies that were marching in the opposite direction towards her castle, then at their side that was completely empty. “That is a good point,” she admitted, stepping off the sidewalk and moving down the empty street towards the elementary school. “We should get there pretty quick.” “And then we can figure out where Scootaloo went too, Coral.” “Can we discuss my fake name again?” “No, Coral.” Twilight grumbled but continued on. “The other Cutie Mark Crusaders should know where she disappeared to and then we can find her, bring her back, chain her to a mailbox and have her tell every pony everything.” Spike frowned. “I don’t remember agreeing to the mailbox thing.” “You don’t get a vote,” Twilight said darkly as they passed a food strand selling brownies that had a sign with her face in a big circle with a red line through it. “You know, since they don’t know who I am-“ “No, Coral.” “Excuse me sirs,” a bone-thin colt called out to them. He hurried over to them and grinned. “I’m Featherweight with the Ponyville Bugle and if you have a moment I’d like to ask you some questions for an article I’m writing.” Twilight looked down at Featherweight in surprise. “Aren’t you a little young to be a reporter for a newspaper?” “I’m normally a freelance photographer. My boss sent me out today to get some quotes from ponies about what’s going on… you know, with this mob.” “And to get photos of Spider-Colt!” a gray stallion with a tiny moustache and a salt-and-pepper colored mane roared from his office window a few buildings down from them. “We all know Spider-Colt is the one that made that Scootatoot disappear! I finally have that webslinging menace-“ “I want to both hate your editor and enjoy his antics,” Twilight stated. “Everypony says that,” Featherweight said. “Now, what do you think about the disappearance of Scootaloo?” Twilight sighed. “I think it is troubling, as you never want to hear that a filly has disappeared, but I think everypony is overreacting.” The thin colt nodded. “Oh, I completely agree… especially since I know where Scootaloo is and what she’s doing.” “You do?” Spike asked in surprise. “Why haven’t you told anyone? You could end the madness right now.” “Well, this madness,” Twilight said, watching as the local loony bin workers dragged Lyra back to the asylum after she’d tried to chop of Discord’s hands to claim them as her own (Discord, for his partt, had said ‘That mare is nuts… I might be in love’; he then went off to a rave with the author of this story and Deadpool). “I think the madness overall will remain. There’ll be less of it, that’s all.” Shaking her head, Twilight turned her attention back to Featherweight. “Alright, so you know what happened to Scootaloo, huh?” “Of course… but I can’t tell anyone because it is a secret.” Spike gulped. “Not the kind of secret that weird dog keeps talking about, right?” His clawed hands went for his bottom, protecting it. “No…” Featherweight paused, thinking things over. “You know, maybe I should tell you two and you can determine if I have the right to tell every other pony in town.” “You really think it’s a good idea to tell two strangers?” Twilight asked. Featherweight shrugged. “My aunt always tells me to talk to strangers.” “…I’d say you have that wrong but this is Ponyville.” Twilight and Spike moved to a bench, sitting down with Featherweight. “Alright, tell us where Scootaloo is.” “She’s with Rainbow Dash,” Featherweight said, “fighting crime.” “…of course she is,” Twilight muttered. ~MC~MC~MC~ It was an average day at stately Rainbow Manor. The owner of this great cloud estate, the daughter of Rainbow Blitz and Firefly, famed billionaire playmare Rainbow Dash, was seated in her favorite red easy back chair, the famed Peryton classic 'War (Uh, Good God Ya'll) and Peace' cracked open as she skimmed the pages. She was dressed in her favorite burgundy smoking jacket, a glass of apple juice that was nearly finished placed on the end table next to her. She would on occasion flip a page but otherwise was lost in the world of the book, only her eyes drifting back and forth across the word-filled pages (a book, dear reader, was something people read before fan fiction was invented). Seated on the floor near her was Dash's young ward Scootaloo. After the death of her parents the young filly (and accomplished acrobat) had been taken in by Dash who raised her as if she were her own child. She was sketching in a sketch pad, the pencil held between her teeth scraping back and forth across the page. "Wait, what? Since when is Rainbow Dash rich?" "Have you ever seen her house?" "Of course I have, I'm her-" "Coral..." "...I mean I've heard of her and both Rickety and I know she isn't rich. She just lives in a cloud house with rainbows draining off of it and I suddenly hear myself say that and realize how stupid I sound. Carry on." "Another drink, madam?" the Rainbow family butler asked. "Thank you, Tank," Dash said, accepting a glass from the suit-wearing tortoise. She brought it to her lips only for a shrill ring to fill the air. "On second thought, looks like we'll have to pass." She put the drink back down on Tank's back, Scootaloo tossing her sketchbook away. "Come along, Scoots... to the Do-Well Cave!" The two raced over to the bookcase and, with the tug upon the right book, it swung open to reveal two poles. They leapt onto said poles and slid down, disappearing from sight. The bottom of the poles were located deep under Rainbow Manor in what was known as the Do-Well Cave. Filled with all sorts of crime fighting gadgets and devices (each helpfully labeled), it was the greatest bastion for do-goers and the bane of all law breakings. Its location was a highly guarded secret that only a select few knew; all this to protect the protectors of Ponytham, who at that very moment were descending the poles, now dressed in their crime-fighting outfits. "Come along, Sparrow!" Rainbow Dash said. She now wore a dark purple bodysuit and cape, wraps around her hooves, a dark purple mask that covered her face, and a wide-brimmed hat. "Of course, Mare-Do-Well!" Scootaloo, aka the Filly Wonder known as Sparrow, declared. She was wearing green briefs, her red CMC cape draped around her neck, a red shirt, and a black domino mask. "What do you think the commissioner needs this time?" she asked as they reached the red Do-Well Phone (which was placed under a glass container for... reasons), which was directly linked to the commissioner’s office. "What she needs every time, old chum," Mare-Do-Well stated. "There is treachery and evil ahoof and it is up to us to stop it!" "Holy wicked deeds, Mare-Do-Well!" "Ok, just stop." ~MC~MC~MC~ "You think Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo are superheroes?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow. "Don't you?" Featherweight asked. "...no!" Twilight exclaimed. "They aren't superheroes! They don't fight bad guys, they-" "What about Nightmare Moon?" Featherweight asked. "She was a bad guy... or mare... and Rainbow Dash helped defeat her!" Twilight frowned. "Okay, maybe, but-" "And then there was Discord!" Featherweight exclaimed. "Rainbow Dash defeated him too!" "After a while," Spike muttered, still remembering his brief time as the new 'Rainbow Dash'. "Alright, you have a point there. Still-" Featherweight cut her off. "She also helped stop that dragon and defeat that evil bug pony and took on Tirek and when there were a ton of Princess Twilights-" "Okay, okay!" Twilight exclaimed. "Yes, Rainbow Dash fights bad ponies. But she isn't a superhero. She doesn't have superpowers." "Rainboom?" Spike offered. "Oh... right." Twilight's ears twitched. "Uh... she doesn't have magic jewelry... er... I mean she isn’t part of a team of… hmmm." Twilight began to puzzle this over. "Huh. I guess all of us are superheroes, huh?" "All of us?" Featherweight asked suspiciously. "Find Scootaloo!" one of the zombie-like townsfolk cried out in the distance. Twilight let out a weak laugh. "I meant all of THEM! Not us. Not us at all. I'm Coral." Featherweight accepted this. "Alright. So, back to the story..." ~MC~MC~MC~ "We're here, commissioner," Mare-Do-Well said as she answered the Do-Well Phone. "Oh, thank goodness," Commissioner Goodone proclaimed. "We are in trouble, Mare-Do-Well. Several of your most dangerous villains have teamed up and are holding the Mayor of Ponytham hostage!" "Holy ransom plots, Mare-Do-Well!" Sparrow exclaimed. "Calm yourself, Filly Wonder," Mare-Do-Well stated before turning her attention back to the phone. "Commissioner, we'll make sure that the mayor is safe and those dastardly degenerate dogs are put back in their pens... and without a soup bone to gnaw on." Mare-Do-Well hung up the phone. "Come, Sparrow... to the Do-Well-Mobile!" The two of them raced over to a car (which looked strangely like an overly-large scooter) and were soon rocketing out of the Do-Well Cave and into the city. "Supermare could have this settled in 10 seconds." "Spi... I mean, Rickity... just because Supermare has powers doesn't mean she's better." "...yes it does. Be quiet, Coral!" “You should really listen to your dad, Coral.” "I am remembering this for when all the crazy is over. You do know that, right?" "Worth it, Coral... worth it." At the Ponytham City Hall Mayor Blathers strained against the ropes that held him tight to the chair in the center of the room. "You'll never get away with this!" "Mmmmmmm," the master thief Cattity purred, "you would be purrrrfectly wrong there, Mr. Mayor." She was dressed in a black catsuit (of course) and a domino mask. "Wak wak wak!" the Puffin cackled. The short, fat pony was dressed in his favorite tux with tails; a monocle perched in front of his eye. "I'm afraid you wouldn't be getting out of this!" "I suggest you chill," Snowday, the arctic-themed villain, proclaimed, placing his icy horn against the mayor's temple. "Or I'll give you quite the brain freeze." "That would be rather cold of you, Snowday!" Mare-Do-Well declared as she burst into the room, Sparrow striking a pose beside her. "Mare-Do-Well and Sparrow!" Puffin cried out. “Mare-Do-Well and Sparrow!” Catity exclaimed. “I told you to lock that door,” Snowday muttered. "Holy team-up, Mare-Do-Well!" Sparrow cried out. "Look at this lineup!" "I see it, Sparrow," Mare-Do-Well said. "It is a who's who of our most deadly rogues. The Puffin-" "wak wak wak! Birds of a feather and all that, Mare-Dolt-Well!" "Catity." "Oh, come now, darling," Catity said, slinking towards the hero. "I'm sure we can-" "Catity, I finished the juice box you gave me!" Sweetie Kitty called out, walking out from where she'd been sitting working on her coloring book. She, like her sister, was dressed in a black catsuit. "Can I have a snack?" "Fine, but try not to spoil your appetite." Catity gave her some change for the vending machine and gave her a gentle push away. When the two heroes stared at her she merely shrugged. "Our parents are on vacation." Mare-Do-Well merely stared at Catity for a moment before continuing. "Snowday." "It will be a cold day in hell before you defeat us!" the villain who wore a fishbowl on his head declared (why he wore it no one knew, since there was a hole for his horn to stick out of). "The Stumper," Mare-Do-Well said, focusing on a green stallion with a question mark cutie mark. Twirling his cane the unicorn said, "I'll stump you with this! How is a raven like a writing desk?" "Twilight likes to smash her head against both?" "Shut it, Rickety." "And the most dastardly of all," Mare-Do-Well said coldly, "Mr. Mime." "Mime, mime!" the Pokémon declared. "Holy Master Balls, Mare-Do-Well!" Sparrow declared. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Indeed, old chum!" Mare-Do-Well stated. "We've trained to be the greatest detectives of all time; sharpening our wits so that we might be able to reason out and deduce the greatest mysteries and stop the most cunning crimes of our time. We also have a vast array of gadgets and devices at our disposal to assist us in countering the cowardly criminals that convene to commit cunning crimes!" Mare-Do-Well took a step forward. "So naturally we're going to beat you all up with our hooves." "Wait, what?" "Wait, what?" the Stumper said seconds before Mare-Do-Well's hoof slammed into his temple. POW! "What's black and white and red all over?" Mare-Do-Well said as she bucked the question-asking stallion. "You." "Bye bye birdie!" Sparrow declared, grabbing a hold of Puffin's head. "I think I'd like to surrender now!" the villain whimpered. BLAM! "Hurt kitty, aching kitty, little ball of pain!" Mare-Do-Well declared, grabbing a chair and slamming it over Catity's head. CRACK! "Gotta beat'em all!" Sparrow said as she threw Mr. Mime through a window. CRASH! "You'll need to ice down your injuries when I'm done with you!" Mare-Do-Well declared. Snowday frowned. "Hey, that isn't a pun! That's just you-" REAGANOMICS! "Well done, old chum," Mare-Do-Well told Sparrow as they looked over the bruised and beaten bad guys. "Holy hospital stay, Mare-Do-Well! They never stood a chance!" Sparrow hurried over to Mayor Blather and untied him. "Are you okay, sir?" "Oh yes... better than you!" "What?" Sparrow said just as the Mayor sprayed her and mare-Do-Well with a strange mist from a spray bottle he'd tucked away. "Holy... Holy... ugh." "Ooompf," Mare-Do-Well groaned as she passed out. WHY HAS THE MAYOR DONE THIS? WILL THE CAPED CRUSADER AND THE FILLY WONDER ESCAPE THIS DOUBLE CROSS? FIND OUT NEXT TIME... SAME DO-WELL TIME, SAME DO-WELL CHANNEL "Wait, what is that?" ~MC~MC~MC~ "What is what?" Featherweight asked. Twilight frowned. "Does... does your theory come in parts?" "Yeah!" Featherweight said happily. "You'll have to come back next week to hear the thrilling conclusion." "We will so do that!" Twilight said, her voice a touch overly bright and bubble as she hurried past Featherweight. Spike frowned. "Are we really?" "Buck no," Twilight said sternly. "Thought so."