//------------------------------// // Homeward Bound // Story: You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Poseidon carefully oversaw the work his fellow gods were doing in the former Temple of Fates. While the place no longer controlled the fates of the world, it did still hold the records of all history so far...and some of its magic could be useful for other things. Poseidon had agreed - in theory - with the decision of the other gods regarding seeing to it that Pinkie did not breed during her adventures with Kratos. It was one thing to like Pinkie Pie, to enjoy having her around, to find her absolutely adorable. It was quite another to believe that Greece could handle several of her running around. Just the mental image of a bunch of Pinkie's bouncing around shouting, "Fun! Fun!" had given the entire pantheon nightmares. So enchantments had been laid, seeing to it no denizen of ancient Greece and the lands beyond would be able to breed with her. Oddly enough, the "Fun! Fun!" nightmares had been all that was necessary to make that possible. However, Poseidon didn't like the idea that Pinkie would not be allowed to breed at all, or ever know the joys of sex and romance, an unfortunate side effect of the enchantment laid down for Greece's protection. After the Fates had been slain, a thought had occurred to him. No one in Greece would breed with Pinkie...but Pinkie wasn't originally from Greece. Her thread was on the loom, but so alien that it was invisible to the Fates, and rendered the threads she touched invisible as well. No one in Greece...but what about the world Pinkie came from? Surely, if it were populated by creatures like Pinkie, it could handle them? Poseidon had tracked down Pinkie's thread on the loom, and had tracked it backwards to the point when she arrived in the Furies' temple. He had assumed that going back further would allow him to track her back to her world, and use that to anchor a portal between her world and Greece. What he hadn't expected was the sheer amount of time dilation that became involved the moment he tried to reach through the portal. His attempt to manipulate it had brought Chronos - Lord of Time, the Divine Origin - to physically manifest to see which of his grandchildren was muddling in his domain. Unsurprisingly, Pinkie Pie had already befriended Chronos with cupcakes and laughter, and he was quite willing to help unmuddle the tangle once he learned what Poseidon was trying to do. Both had been rather surprised to learn that when Pinkie had passed through her world's end of the portal, she had been fully grown, about the same age she was now. However, it made things much simpler, as they only had to anchor the portal to when she left, rather than trying to anchor onto the relative 'now', and Pinkie could pick up her life there where she left off. None who knew Pinkie doubted her ability to do that, no matter how different her original life had been. The work now - the rather difficult work, at that - was transferring the stable portal to Olympus, so Pinkie could go back and forth between her two worlds at will. While Pinkie may have needed to return to her own world to safely pursue her adult life as a member of her species, none of the Gods or Titans wanted the goodbye to be permanent. Kratos and Pinkie Pie journeyed to a remote corner of Olympus at Zeus' summons. Both were uncertain what this was about, but were at ease. They trusted their family, after all. Upon arrival, they discovered a gateway through which could be seen a world of brilliant greens and blues, vast untamed forests, and distant Greek structures seeming to float in the sky. "Where in Greece is this, Father?" Kratos asked, knowing Zeus would be nearby. "Believe it or not, Kratos, it isn't Greece at all," Zeus said, stepping out from beside the portal. "It's Pinkie's homeworld, the one she comes from originally." Kratos blinked in surprise. "No wonder it was so easy for her to adapt to here," he muttered, seeing a Hydra briefly pass through the view. "Looks like fun!" Pinkie said happily. "But how'd it get here?" She gestured to the portal itself to indicate her inquiry. "We built it for you, Pinkie Pie," Zeus explained. "We know that certain aspects of your life have been...unfulfilled. We believed that you would have better luck with members of your own race." Pinkie started to look excited, but then her face fell. "Does...does this mean I have to leave?" she whimpered. "You can if you so choose," Zeus explained. "And we would like to see you live your life to the fullest." "But..." Pinkie looked up with watery eyes. "But I don't wanna say goodbye to everyone..." Zeus frowned in confusion. "I...don't understand." "If...If I go back home..." She sniffled adorably. "I'll never see all of you ever again!" "Why wouldn't you?" Zeus asked, even more thoroughly confused. "You couldn't get that busy that quickly, could you?" "Huh?" Pinkie asked, her turn to be confused. "But...isn't it a one way trip?" Zeus laughed. "Whatever gave you that idea?" As he calmed his laughter, he smiled at her. "Pinkie Pie, since we discovered how to reach your world, we've all worked day and night to ensure that the passage from here to there would be stable, so you could go back and forth at will-" Zeus was cut off as Pinkie propelled herself into him, hugging him around the neck tight enough to threaten even a god's breathing. "Thank you so much Grandpa!" she squealed happily before dashing off to thank everyone else involved. Zeus rubbed his neck, chuckling. "And, unfortunately, that's why any reunions of introducing family members from either side will need to happen on that side of the portal," he muttered. "Father," Kratos spoke up, "I would like permission to accompany Pinkie through the portal, and stay with her until she's settled again." "Granted," Zeus said easily. "Stay as long as you wish, and visit whenever you desire." "Whee!" Pinkie yelled happily, having said her goodbyes and now riding Fluffy through the portal. Chuckling, Kratos followed. Pinkie Pie, Kratos, and Fluffy came out in an old, dilapidated castle surrounded by writhing, thorny vines. "First day back and already combat?" Pinkie squealed happily. "Awesome!" Drawing her flame blade, she quickly began carving her way through the vines. Kratos followed, rolling his eyes as he drew his own blades. Part way through the forest just outside the castle, Fluffy's three heads shot out into the underbrush, each head pulling back with a screaming filly in his jaws: a unicorn, a pegasus, and a pony who was neither like Pinkie. Pinkie Pie gasped, recognition triggering a return of sealed memories. "Apple Bloom! Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo!" Pulling them out of Fluffy's jaws, she yanked them onto his back where she hugged them tight. "I was so, so, so, so worried about you three! Don't you know how dangerous the Everfree Forest is?" "It didn't used to be this dangerous," Scootaloo grumbled. "At least not until that freaky light show and all the vines sprouting up trying ta eat us," Apple Bloom added. "Who's that?" Sweetie Belle squeaked, pointing at Kratos. "Right, introductions!" Pinkie said happily. "Girls, this is my Daddy Kratos, the God of War!" The three fillies looked up at Kratos, who smiled in as friendly a manner as he could manage. "Yup," Apple Bloom said after a while. "I can see it," Sweetie added. "Makes sense," Scootaloo added. "And this is Fluffy!" Pinkie added happily. Fluffy, for his part, gave all three fillies a lick, making them giggle. "Now you girls introduce yourselves." "I'm Apple Bloom!" "I'm Sweetie Belle!" "I'm Scootaloo!" "And we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" the three shouted together. "But I don't think we'll be getting our Cutie Marks in vine taming," Apple Bloom said nervously. "Or horticulture," Sweetie added. "We couldn't even help that crystal tree the vines were attacking down in that cave." "We'll help it then!" Pinkie proclaimed. "That sounds like a quest point! Mush Fluffy!" Barking, Fluffy lunged forward towards the cave Sweetie Belle had mentioned. Inside, a large crystal tree was indeed under attack by the vines. Pinkie felt a pulsing around her neck, where the golden choker she now recognized as her Element of Laughter hung. "Maybe this will do something?" she suggested, holding the Element towards the tree. With a flare of blue light, all the energy of Hope that had been released from Pandora's Box to eventually be stored in the Element erupted, pouring into the Tree and reenergizing it. As the power flared brightly, the vines dissolved. "Wow!" Apple Bloom said in awe. "Amazing!" Sweetie Belle added. "Do it again!" Scootaloo cried happily. At that moment, the cavern around the tree shifted. A voice echoed. "...what brings Olympian power to our new world?" a familiar voice inquired, as though having awakened from a long sleep. Pinkie and Kratos both gasped, recognizing the voice. "Gaea?" they asked together in shock. "Pinkie? Kratos?" Gaea responded in shock. Her face appeared in the ground in front of the tree. "It has been so long since I heard from either of you...since the Titans left Earth to forge new worlds...since you returned to your own world, Pinkie Pie. What brings you to this new world we Titans have forged and laid ourselves down within to slumber, to sustain its powerful magical field?" "Well, apparently it's my home world!" Pinkie explained. "And apparently thousands of years in the future relative to when I arrived in Greece. No wonder the Fates couldn't see my thread. I was born so long after their demise their power had already faded completely!" "Then you live your life here?" Gaea asked. "How wondrous! And you, Ghost of Sparta, you come to help her settle?" "And hopefully to see whatever grandchildren she might give me," Kratos replied. Gaea smiled. "That is good. Most of the Titans sustain forces of this world, or stand guard in the deepest depths of this world's Tartarus over the worst evils this world has produced. But tell me Pinkie...do you still..." Pinkie smiled widely. "Here you go!" she said happily, lobbing an unwrapped cupcake forward. Gaea's stone face opened its mouth wide, catching the delectable treat. "Though much smaller, as delicious as I remember...even more." A distant rumble could be heard. "The other Titans have heard your return, and come. They wish to reunite with you again." Pinkie gasped. "I'd better get to Sugarcube Corner and get to baking then!" she cried. "Mush, Fluffy!" she shouted, turning Fluffy towards Ponyville and giving him a kick in his side to urge him to great speeds. Kratos rolled his eyes and pursued her. Twilight was startled out of a sound sleep by Celestia teleporting into her room. "Princess Celestia!" Twilight gasped loudly, leaping to her hooves as her wings flapped out randomly. "What's going on?" "Twilight, a matter of gravest urgency has arisen," Celestia replied. "Not too long ago, a massive surge of darkest magic both arose and vanished from deep in the Everfree Forest. And now the Titans - the great beings who shaped our world in times long forgotten - have awoken from eons slumber and converge on Ponyville from all across the globe." Twilight's eyes went wide. "But why? What could have caused this?" "I do not-" Celestia was interrupted as Pinkie Pie popped out of her mane. "Hey Princess Celestia! Hey Twilight! Say, I've got some relatives coming to Ponyville for a reunion and some cupcakes. They're a mite on the large size, so I hope they don't cause too much damage walking here. I've asked them to meet outside of town, though, and I'll be serving cupcakes! Feel free to come and introduce yourselves! All of Ponyville's invited!" She then vanished back into Celestia's mane. Celestia and Twilight stared at each other for a time. "You don't suppose...?" Celestia asked nervously. "At this point, nothing about Pinkie Pie could surprise me," Twilight muttered. "I...stand corrected," Twilight muttered, staring at the Olympian family reunion that had devolved into a drunken orgy with mudpits, cupcakes, and Pinkie Pie table dancing.