//------------------------------//
// Realization 
// Story: Caged Inside 
// by ShadowKirby 
//------------------------------//

2 weeks later
"And then she just laughed my complaints off as her own silly thoughts that were simply trying to bring her down! LAUGHED ME OFF!" I finished my rant in a rage, breathing heavily.

"Oh, my......that doesn't sound good." Fluttershy responded calmly, sipping a bit of tea.

"You're dang right it wasn't good! I was laughed off as just some vile part of her mind that didn't like fun!" 

For the last couple weeks I had gone to Fluttershy's cottage everyday to relax, away from all the annoying ponies in town. 
At first it was simple quiet, but soon I found out how good a listener Fluttershy was; I soon came to constantly vent to her, and she took it all calmly and caringly. I truly did like her company.

She put her cup of tea down and gave me a worried stare.

"I hope you're not doing the same....."

I stared long and hard at her and then sighed.

"She shut up a long time ago, actually."

Fluttershy's worried stare got more intense.

"Is she alright?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Probably not. She can read my mind, but I can't read hers. At least not while I'm in control, anyways. Seems to work one-sidedly based on who's in control."

Fluttershy gained an unreadable look on her face before a bunch of birds suddenly started chirping, and she gasped.

"Oh! I'm late to feed my animals! Sorry, Pinkamena, but I really must tend to them."

I sighed. My time with her was always too short.

"It's fine. You have your duties, after all." I got up and headed towards the door.

"Stop by again soon, friend!"

I paused and turned to look at her, seeing a warm smile in return.

After a couple seconds I turned away and left without saying a word.

'Friend.....'

Well, I had been enjoying my time with her for these last two weeks; she seemed to understand me, or at least listen without arguing. 

'I guess we are friends.....'

I smiled.
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As per my usual daily schedule, I stopped by at Applejack's farm for an apple filled lunch. She had taken to making something for me every day as she expected me to show up now.

The positive side was I got delicious and actually healthy foods for free. On the negative side, she always managed to say things to me that hurt my conscience. 

"Ya know you're just condemnin' her to the same fate you had, right?"

I rolled my eyes and took another bite out of an apple fritter.

"Of course I know that... and she deserves it for doing it to me. An eye for an eye, so to speak."

"But ya know she didn't realize that she was lockin' you up. Ya can't persecute her for that."

That stupid pony always had some sort of rebuttle for me. 
I'd almost grown to enjoy these arguments, if I was to be honest with myself.

"Doesn't change the fact that she did it, and didn't listen to a word I said to get her to realize it." She seemed so determined to get Pinkie back. 

Not that I was surprised.

"But you of all ponies should know what it's like; wouldn't ya be just as bad if ya did it to her?"

I shrugged. Morality wasn't something that I really wanted to bring into this.

I finished my lunch and left quickly. She always managed to put too much in my mind to think about.
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I sat on the hill outside Ponyville and stared up at the clouds, making pictures out of them, while the breeze blew my straight mane in and out of my face.

Just another of the many things I enjoyed in my life.

And, as per usual, Rainbow Dash showed up and started rearranging the clouds into shapes while I tried to figure out what she was making it look like.

It was an unspoken game we had come up with. She would make a picture from the white fluff, and I'd try to see if I could figure out what it was.

A basic, somewhat childish game, but I still enjoyed it. It added a different kind of enjoyment to sitting here and looking at the sky.

Of course, once the game was over, I turned to leave, but unusually was stopped by the pegasus flying down into my face.

Raising an eyebrow, I asked why she was blocking my way.

"You know we're friends, right?"

I just blinked in response. I wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Come on- we're playing games and hanging out with each other every day! How could you say we're not pals?"

I shrugged and walked around her, only to be blocked again.

"Give me a straight answer, Pinkamena... do you consider me a friend or not?"

I stopped and thought deeply about the question. The longer I took, the more downcast her face looked.

Sighing, I nodded and smiled.

Her mood instantly lifted again and she grinned. 
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I was eating a glazed donut, and smiled happily at the taste. It took a lot of self control not to just pig out on snacks like that first time, but I was getting better at it; I was able to limit myself to just a few snacks a day now.

Donuts were a definite favourite of mine.

Word had spread through rumours no doubt accidentally passed by one of the others around town about my situation. I wasn't sure how accurate they were, but at least ponies stopped questioning me about my appearance and attitude.

With the moon high in the sky, I yawned and headed to bed, finally happy about the life I was in.
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I was here again. The black void that was my dreamscape.

And she was there. With her bright pink coat, and big, curly mane.
And of course, her solemn face.

We stared at each other for a moment in silence. There hadn't been a word passed between us for at least a week. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, and I knew here in this void she couldn't read my thoughts either.

Honestly, it made me enjoy life even more for her to be quiet.
Of course, all good things must come to an end.

"I'm not upset at you....."

"Hmm?"

"For locking me up here... I deserve it. I always try to make other ponies smile, and be happy! But I made you miserable for years..."

I raised an eyebrow at her. Was this really true?

"And... since you're always happier when I don't talk, I've been being quiet and not bugging you about anything so I could try and make up for it.....even if you don't care...."

My eyes widened.

'She's been silent all this time....for my own happiness? But I treated her so terribly... even if she deserved it, she shouldn't care about me! No, she must be lying! She's just....doing it because I upset her so much!'

"And.... you don't need to leave Ponyville... after all, my friends have become your friends now, and you even admitted you were happy here!"

She sounded like Applejack now. And just like Applejack's words, the truth hit me hard with another realization.

I'd grown close to these ponies because they were nice and they cared. Because I could get along with them and be friends with them, when I started giving them the chance.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash... they'd befriended me even though I was intentionally keeping their best friend locked away.

"I......" I looked away from my counterpart and sighed. I couldn't stand to look at her. My mind was racing too much.

She just went silent again. 

No way she could stay silent like that unless she really meant it; she went against what her life goal was, even what her cutie mark meant to her with what she did to me, and she was giving up everything, almost her own existence, just to make sure I was happy.

But... I couldn't just give up my free will because she needed to be in control as well! And it still didn't change the fact that I'd had a few weeks of control while she'd had ten years of it!

I looked down and shuddered as I tried to sort out my thoughts.

'What should I do.....?'

Not a word was spoken between the two of us for the rest of our sleeping hours, just as it had been for over a week before.
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