//------------------------------// // Far from Home // Story: The Princess and the Human // by Ausbrony //------------------------------// When the bright sunlight pierced the thin space between the curtains, just enough to hit a certain human right in the eyes, he groaned as he placed a hand in front of his face. “Mornings suck,” he muttered as he tried to stretch, but his other arm was pinned down by something. Something fluffy and very warm. He opened one eye and saw a ball of purple fur next to him and suddenly, last night’s memories came flooding back. “Oh? Right. This is apparently a thing now,” Kai smiled to himself as he brushed a lock of her mane from her eyes. If someone had ever told him that he’d be in this situation, then he’d have regarded you as utterly insane, and in need of powerful medication… or taking less. Regardless, he didn’t regret his decision and gave the little alicorn a gentle kiss on the forehead, eliciting a small smile on her sleeping face. It was no wonder that he’d slept amazingly well, and thankfully had Luna-free dreams. “I wonder what Mum and Dad would say if I could tell them I’m dating a pony,” Kai mused. There was a quiet knock on the door, forcing the human to groan and get up. Whoever it was had better have a good reason for knocking this early. “Mornings should be banned,” he sighed. He grabbed the doorknob, briefly wondering how and why a hooved society even invented them. Opening the door revealed Flash Step and a small gathering of Twilight’s friends, all wearing expressions of concern. “Mr. Human?” Pinkie asked. “Have you seen Twilight?” Kai blinked, “Well…” “She did not come back to her room last night,” Rarity added. “We’ve already checked the infirmary and her library… but we cannot find her anywhere!” “The thing is…” “We even looked in her lab, to make sure she wasn’t up all night studying,” Rainbow stated. “Oh!? She was studying alright,” Kai chuckled to himself. But that laugh earned the pegasus’s ire. She hovered a few feet off of the ground, as so to look him in the eye. “You find Twilight missing to be funny!?” she yelled at him. “Let’s see if you find my hoof in your face just as hilarious!” She never got to follow through with her threat, as a sleepy Twilight Sparkle poked her head out from behind Kai. “Who is making this Celestia-awful racket?” she murmured sleepily. All of her friends froze in shock, while a wide smirk crossed Flash’s muzzle. Oh yeah, she was never gonna let Kai live down this moment. Twilight wondered why it had suddenly gone quiet and she rubbed a hoof in her eye to wake up a little more. Once she realised exactly who was at the door, she paused, blinked, shrieked and then pulled Kai back into the room, slamming the door behind them. “Uh, is this one of those ‘it’s totally not what it looks like’ moments?” Rainbow asked. “It certainly looks like something interesting has occurred,” Rarity giggled. Pinkie gasped and smiled. “Oh, you mean like how it totally looks like Kai-Kai and Twi-Twi did the horizontal tango?” Rarity sighed, used this sort of reaction from her. The other had various responses though. “Oh…oh my…” Fluttershy was blushing a deep crimson and hid behind her mane while Rainbow fell out of the air, unable to remain flying, she was laughing so hard. “Rainbow! T’ain't nice to laugh,” Applejack snickered. “We should be happy that Twahlight found herself a nice cuddle-monkey.” Upon that remark, the two mares broke down into a fit of laughter, which Pinkie Pie joined in on as not to be left out. Rarity sighed again and resisted the urge to apply her well-manicured hoof to her face. A few moments later, the door opened once more to reveal a fully-dressed Kai, and he looked a little dizzy too. Twilight’s mane was brushed, her feathers straightened and the tiredness gone from her eyes. “Feel better?” Rarity couldn’t help but giggle lightly. “Yes,” Twilight replied curtly. “You all saw nothing and you will not be telling the princesses, my brother or anyone else with a pulse for that matter. Not before we do at least.” “Twilight, a lady does not kiss and tell,” Rarity nodded. “And none of us would dare say anything about something we can only speculate on. Right girls?” Pinkie zipped her lips, while Fluttershy nodded meekly. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were still laughing though, earning a groan of annoyance from Twilight and Rarity. “Well, three out of five ain’t bad,” Kai nodded, having recovered from the whirlwind of clothes that Twilight had magicked onto him. “And for the record, nothing much happened. Twilight and I are… testing the waters so to speak. This is something new and quite unusual for the both of us.” “If you’re all quite done, the princesses are expecting you,” Flash Step spoke up, having refrained from commenting about the situation. She’d pick on her human friend later about it~ “Oh no,” Twilight gasped. “What do I do? I can’t hide anything from Princess Celestia.” She started to go on a tangent of what Celestia would supposedly do when she inevitably found out about her and Kai. The human leaned down to Rarity, having determined that she was the most sensible and reasonable of Twilight’s friends. “Is she always like this?”   “Only when it comes to her dear teacher,” Rarity giggled as the pair watched the adorkable Alicorn flail away. “You must admit though, it is quite cute when she’s flustered.” “Yup,” Kai smiled. He turned his attention back to his new girl... marefriend and kissed her on the top of the head. She suddenly froze and blushed as her friends giggled. “Well let’s go get breakfast shall we?” he suggested. The ruler of the day sat calmly at the dining table, as seven mares and one human entered the room. Twilight seemed to be acting a little fidgety and Celestia easily recognised the behaviour as one of her tells that Twilight was hiding something. Princess Cadence smiled knowingly while Shining groused as he read the paper, sore over the fact that his hoofball team was losing. Kai on the other hand, his face was quite unreadable. Celestia could blame it on the fact that he wasn’t a pony, or even closely resembled any other race on Equus. But his expression was quite neutral. He would greet anypony in the room with a friendly tone and took a seat next to Twilight. “Sorry about the delay princess,” Twilight said. “I didn’t mean to sleep in like that.” “There’s no rush, and you’re still recovering from a severe case of magical drain after all.” Celestia rang a small crystal bell as some waiters begun to bring out the food. “Did you sleep well Twilight?” It was only a brief moment, a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ sort but Celestia caught her student offer a quick glance at the human seated next to her. “I slept wonderfully,” she sighed wistfully. “Aha, so that’s how it is. Luna owes me ten bits, and her desserts for the next week!” Celestia smiled to herself. “Well I am glad to see you feeling better my student.” Twilight blinked and then nodded slowly. Had she truly pulled the wool over her teacher’s eyes? For his part, Kai simply ate his breakfast in silence after greeting the table guests. The dining hall opened and a unicorn stallion with piercing blue eyes and a blonde mane and tail entered the room. Kai glanced in his direction, swearing he recognised him from somewhere. The stallion’s reaction was a little more interesting. When he saw Kai, his white coat turned a little whiter as he whimpered and dove behind Celestia. “Why is the brain-eating zombie at the breakfast table Auntie!?” Everyone suddenly stopped eating and looked at the panicked Blueblood. Was-was he serious? Flash Step stood to one side of the room, whistling innocently as Kai just groaned and facepalmed. “Blueblood!” Celestia said sternly. Her voice wasn’t raised, but still carried authority. It was certainly enough to make the stallion cowering behind her flinch. “Don’t be so rude to our guest. You will apologise and then act like a grown stallion!” “I... but...?” he lasted all of about a second under the Alicorn’s gaze and withered. He gave a look at the human, currently stuffing his face with pancakes. “I suppose upon closer inspection, he doesn’t appear harmful...” The stallion offered a look towards his sister, who suddenly found the ceiling very interesting. “Oh? You little... I will see you pay for this embarrassment.” Blueblood cleared his throat and flashed his charming smile. “Well, it appears that we have gotten off on the wrong hoof.” His facade faltered when Kai gave him a look that just screamed, ‘You think!?’ “Y-Yes, well...” he spared a glance at the rest of the table. The white Unicorn he’d jilted at the Gala way back when held a grudge like nopony’s business, giving the stallion a scowl in return. The rest of her friends weren’t much better. “It’s alright,” Kai finally said, breaking the awkward silence. “I’m pretty different from you guys, so I can’t expect everyone to react calmly. Don’t worry about it...?” What was his name again? “Prince Blueblood,” he replied, holding out a hoof. “Kai,” the human responded, taking his hoof and shaking it. “Nice to meet you Prince.” Twilight smiled as she bit into her toast. It was amazing, Kai was so averse to making friends, but since arriving in Equestria, he’d already made two... all by himself. “Indeed, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance also.” Blueblood nodded as he took a seat on the opposite side of Kai. “So, if I may ask... exactly what are you?” “Not a zombie,” Kai chuckled. “Ah, don’t worry about it. It was a good prank,” he leaned in close and smirked. “And we can totally get her back later~” Blueblood shared his dark chuckle and a shiver went up Flash Step’s spine. That laugh signaled unfortunate things in her future... “Anyways, to answer your question. I’m a human, and I crossed over from another world thanks to love, rainbows and all that. So I could save Twilight here from a terrible fate.” “Ah, I had heard that Princess Twilight had been hospitalised a few days ago,” Blue nodded. While it had been kept very quiet, he had heard that the Princess had gone missing for quite some time, and was injured upon her arrival back to the castle. “So you are the reason for her now apparent good health?” “I helped anyway,” Kai nodded, placing a hand on Twilight's shoulder and giving it a soft rub. The mare sighed, causing a chorus of giggles from her friends and a cocked eyebrow from Shining Armor. Kai suddenly realised what he was doing and let her go. Twilight sighed and pouted slightly, turning back to her breakfast. “I see, well, thank you for saving Our Princess,” Blue smiled at him. He stood up and brushed some dust from his foreleg. “Well I have a few commitments to attend to. Perhaps... we might talk again soon?” Kai smile and shook his hoof again. “Sure, sounds fun Blue.” The stallion blinked at the informality and nodded, before turning and leaving the room. Rarity made an audible sigh once he had. “Well, he seems like a much more pleasant stallion,” she scoffed. “Nothing like the so called ‘Prince’ that I met at the Gala!” “Are you still going on about that?” Rainbow retorted with a weary groan. “That was like, ages ago.” Rarity just shrugged and turned back to her breakfast, sipping at her tea. She failed to notice the deadly glares that Flash Step was shooting at her though. Twilight just chuckled and as she raised her own teacup, she suddenly gasped and dropped it, the contents would have spilled all over the table were it not for Celestia’s quick reaction, snaring the cup and liquid in her magical aura. She looked at the suddenly surprised mare. “Twilight, what’s the matter?” “Spike!” she suddenly shouted. “Wh-Where is he? I haven’t seen him since I woke up and he must think I’ve abandoned him and ohh what will I- Mmmph?” Her tirade was silenced with Kai pressing his hand over her muzzle. “Twilight. Calm. Deep breath.” he stated. The mare nodded and her pulled his hand away, with her following his instruction. “Okay, now. Who is Spike?” “He’s my number one assistant and little brother,” she replied, though her voice cracked a little. “He’s always been by my side, no matter what. But, I haven’t seen him since I woke up and with everything going on... ohh, I’m terrible.” “You can relax,” Celestia replied. “The reason you haven’t seen him is because I sent him to Ponyville for a special assignment. I have been keeping him up to date with everything that has happened however-” she was cut off when a scroll flashed into existence, causing Kai to jump back in surprise. “Well, speaking off Spike,” Celestia smiled as she returned Twilight’s teacup, along with the scroll. Twilight wasted no time in opening it and reading the contents out loud. Dear Twilight I’ve been told you woke up and are feeling a lot better now. I’m really happy to hear that! I was so worried. And also, you have a new friend from that world you visited? I can’t wait to meet ‘em. If you haven’t been told, I’m in Ponyville at the moment, but I should be back sometime tonight. I can’t wait to see you and the rest of the girls again. It’s... been a while since we were all together... That part caused a series of flinches and awkward glances amongst the six mares. It was true that they had drifted apart a little, and while Twilight had become the most isolated, the rest had let their relationships dwindle as well. As for why I’m here, it’s a secret and yes, I know that you not knowing is going to drive you nuts. Consider it punishment for making me worry so much. I’ll see you later. Lots of love, Spike. Twilight put the letter down, as tears begun to drop onto the page. She caused everypony so much worry, and Spike most of all. She glanced up when she felt a hand on her withers again, to see Kai smiling at her. “He sounds like a pretty great guy,” he said brightly. “I can’t wait to meet him.” “Yeah...” Twilight said quietly, leaning into him and the embrace that followed. Her friends giggled and cooed again as Shining’s eyebrow considered taking a permanent vacation further up his brow. Was it just him? Or did Twiley and this human seem a little too close for ‘just friends’? After a brief moment of hugging, the pair parted to find everypony at the table looking at them. There was an awkward cough in the background as the couple blinked back at them. “What?” Kai asked. “Well,” the teapot suddenly asked in an all too familiar voice. “I assume they’re all wondering how and when you two lovebirds hooked up!” Twilight and Kai shared equal looks of blushing and confusion as the teapot spoke. Shining narrowed his gaze as he looked a the pair. “Is what this teapot says true?” he asked in a serious tone. “Are you two...?” “W-Well,” Twilight gulped, staring at the offending porcelain object. How dare it just blurt it out like that! What was it’s problem!? “Before that,” Kai raised a hand to garner some attention. “Shouldn’t we all discuss why it suddenly became a Disney movie in here?” “Oh please, I’d rather not drag a song-and-dance routine into this,” the teapot sighed wearily. “I’m much too busy for something like that.” There was a bright flash of light and Discord lay across the table. He reached across and plucked the strawberry from Celestia’s breakfast and ate it, much to the Alicorn’s dismay. “I was saving that!” she pouted. “And what are you doing here? Other than ruining my breakfast and embarrassing my student? “Ah, well I was bored and thought I’d save them the time,” Discord shrugged. “I mean, it’s what friends do right? Help each other out?” “I don’t need your help telling everypony who I choose to date!” Twilight yelled before blushing and putting her hooves to her lips. “Wait! I mean- um...” “Twiley?” Shining asked as Fluttershy glared at a now withering Discord. “Is-Is this true?” Before she could respond, Kai cleared his throat. “Yes. Twilight and I have started a romantic relationship. I understand that this might be considered strange, and I’ll be the first to agree, this is really weird for us as well. But, well the heart wants what it wants. Neither of us can guarantee that this will end in happiness and rainbows and all that. But, we’re willing to give it a shot.” Shining Armor blinked, as Cadence squeed in happiness, leaping across the table to hug her little sister. Shining shook his head to sort his thoughts a little and pointed at the human. “You. Me. Walk. Now!” The human nodded as Twilight struggled against Cadence’s deathgrip. “Wait!” she managed to call out. “What are you- ACK! Too tight!” “Don’t worry, I think he just wants to talk... I hope,” Kai nodded, rather unsure of his own reassurance. “Hopefully I’ll be back soon. If not, love you Twi.” Twilight blushed as Cadance squeed again, causing the smaller Alicorn in her gasp to turn a deeper shade of purple. Kai smiled and followed the Unicorn, he really hoped that talking was on the agenda today. The only sound that echoed through the almost empty halls was one set of footsteps and one set of hoofsteps. Kai couldn’t tell what the stallion was thinking, his face was like chiseled granite. He turned his gaze away when Shining’s eye briefly flicked in his direction. Shining’s thoughts were along the same lines. He couldn’t tell what this ‘human’ was thinking. His odd features made Shining’s training useless and he couldn’t for the life of him fathom what Twilight saw in him. “So,” he finally said, causing Kai to flinch lightly. “You and Twilight?” “Me and Twilight,” Kai nodded. “I never saw it coming actually. Until last night, I never knew what Twilight felt, and to be honest, I still don’t really know. I’m so different from you ponies, I’m not all that sociable and I don’t make friends easily.” The more Kai thought, the more he was beginning to question this. At least until Shining spoke again. “Do you regret it?” Kai blinked, his train of thought lost. “I’m sorry, what?” “Do you regret entering this... relationship with Twilight?” Shining elaborated. “Is it something you’d rather take back?” “No,” Kai replied without hesitating. “Not a chance in hell!” Shining turned to look at him, a small scowl on his face. “Are you sure? You sounded pretty hesitant just before.” “Because I don't want to screw it up,” Kai replied back, his own scowl setting in. “I want to make sure I can give her what she deserves. I don’t know if I can, but I’m sure as hell going to try.” Shining looked at for a moment more, before snorting dismissively. “I wonder about that. But-” His scowl vanished, a small smile on his muzzle. “-But it’s good to see that you have some conviction.” “I can only try right?” Kai replied as he looked out a window. He fell silent as he looked out over the city, the stalwart Unicorn soon joining him. “Canterlot is a beautiful city, isn’t it?” He asked the unicorn. “It really is,” he nodded in response. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. The Crystal Empire is great, but this is home...” Those words left a small pang in Kai’s heart. His mind wandered to his small apartment, his job, his... well, one friend, good acquaintance... whatever Mike was. A sudden shout from the dining hall caused both males to groan and facepalm/hoof. “Ten bucks says that Twilight’s freaked out over nothing,” Kai muttered as they headed back. “Yeah... not gonna take that bet,” Shining groaned. His horn lit up and several gold coins dropped into the human’s pocket in his jeans. Kai took one out and looked at it. It had Celestia’s face on one side and Luna’s on the other. The Royal Mint of Equestria was engraved around the outer rim and the coin itself was quite heavy. “Is... this gold?” he asked. “Yeah, why?” Shining replied as they walked. “Huh...” Kai shrugged and pocketed the coin again. “Just another day in the Bizarro Universe.” Shining didn’t even bother responding to the snarky comment and the two walked back into the room, just in time to catch Twilight in mid-freakout. “Feh, knew I’d lose that bet,” Shining scoffed. “Twiley! What’s got your tail in a twist?” “Oh, no reason,” Twilight replied, her right eye twitching dangerously. “It’s just Princess Celestia shipping me off to Ponyville. Again! I’m in the middle of important research, and now...” “And now you have to spend time with your friends?” Kai finished her sentence, the Alicorn pausing as that piece of information sank in. “Oh...” “Yeah, ‘Oh’,’ Kai replied as he looked at the faces of the other five mares. “My guess is that your Princess there wants you to get something back that you used to have, no?” “I... ah...” Twilight’s words failed to come. She’d done it again, chosen her research over her friends. What kind of mare was she? And the human who had trouble even making friends saw it almost instantly. “So what’s happening exactly?” Kai asked. “Will I have to stay here in the castle?” “No,” Celestia replied. “You may go with Twilight if you like. Ponyville is a small town filed with friendly ponies. It should be the perfect place to introduce you to ponykind.” “And we’ll be there to help as well darling,” Rarity smiled. “Yeah, if you’re friends with me, then you're awesome by default,” Rainbow added. “Plus Ponyville has seen a lot weirder.” “Ain’t that the truth,” Applejack nodded. “Y’all are gonna fit in like a tree in an orchard!” “All of your research and ‘special projects’ will be moved to your old home in Ponyville,” Celestia informed her. “I know I organised this in secret, but I truly do believe that this will be a good thing.” “I know,” Twilight replied. “I... ignored my friends for so long... I just hope...” She looked at the mares and smiled softly. “I just hope there’s still a friendship to salvage.” “Of course there is silly~” Pinkie giggled. “OH! I can totally throw a Welcome to Ponyville. Again!’ party!! It’s gonna be funa fun fuu~uuun!” She paused mid-bounce and looked at Kai. “And I get to throw you one to! Double the fun!!” Luna’s ear twitched at that remark, but said nothing. “Then you best prepare,” Celestia smiled. “I believe that a train leaves shortly, and you would want to keep Spike waiting no?” “I have a question Miss Celestia,” Kai asked, raising his hand. “Heh, yes Kai?” the Alicorn giggled. “Unless you have your own train station in here, how do I get to the station without being seen and freaking everyone out?” “Well, I do not possess a station here,” Celestia remarked. I really should do that. It sounds fun. “Hmm, actually, I’m not sure. Twilight? Do you have an idea?” Twilight blinked, then a smile crossed her face. One that caused shivers up kai’s spine. That was not the smile of his cute, adorkable princess. That was the grin of a very vengeful mare... “Oh, I have the perfect idea~” she grinned. Later, Kai would really wish that he’d run for the hills. It was hard, it was so hard to not laugh. Rainbow Dash had no such problem as she rolled around on the station platform, laughing her flank off. “OH mannnaaahahahahahaaa!” Rainbow howled. “This-this is just the bestthingeverr!!!” Most of the mares had stifled giggles, even the sweet and demure Fluttershy suddenly found the clouds interesting, the corners of her mouth twitching. “What goes around, comes around, eh Kai?” Twilight smiled, as the human squatted next to her, wearing a cartoonish-looking dog costume. “...Fuck you Sparkle,” he grumbled. “Ah-ah-ah,” Twilight waved a hoof. “Good little doggies are supposed to say woof.” “...Fuck you Sparkle... woof.” Kai muttered again. In the back of his mind, he wondered how Pinkie Pie had gotten this costume so easily. A sharp whistle sounded and Kai saw what must have been the most ridiculous-looking train he had ever seen. It looked like it came straight out of the pink aisles of the girls toy section. “You have got to be kidding me..” he groaned. “We are not seriously going to ride on that thing right?” “You are really bitter this afternoon huh?” Twilight smiled. “And yes, we will ride the Friendship Express all the way to Ponyville.” Upon the mention of the trains name, Dog-Kai flopped onto the platform and groaned loudly. “You are an evil mare and I am so done with this place...” Kai sighed. “C’mon puppy, we’re going home!” Twilight giggled, either not hearing him, or just ignoring him. “...Goddam ponies,” Kai sighed, walking onto the train and ignoring the stares he was getting, as other equines backed away from the bipedal canine. “Remember what I said~?” Twilight sang out. “........woof,” Kai replied. Oh, you are so getting yours later!