//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 - Use the Force, dude, use the Force! [after proofreading] // Story: Time Outcasts - Is it more psychic to flirt with a spiteful cat or move boxes with your mind? // by Unknown7x7 //------------------------------// Let me ask you something. Have you ever had frostbite? All right. I can't hear nor see you from this side of the fourth wall, so you can peacefully continue your silence with a clear conscience (if you actually were trying to answer, I'm deeply concerned about your mental health). If you haven't, good for you - you don't know my suffering. My legs were frozen, my arms were frozen, heck, even my brain was frozen. Such a state was normal for the last few hundred years, as I was to find out soon. It's a good thing I was comatose all this time... I would hit with a rock anyone who was petrified in one place for centuries, because such a person simply CANNOT be sane and harmless. Anyway, I was blessed with a consciousness and a lack of feeling in my everything for the last ten minutes. I'm not in a good mood. Seriously, the difference of five degrees. That's all I needed to wake up. Someone must have been really careless - you can't just increase heating in my cell. Only this cold was keeping me restricted; once it's warm enough, my brain can actually do something practical. For example? Process sounds delivered by my left ear, probably the only part of me not covered entirely in ice. Wait... I think there is also... YES! A tip of my tail is free, and… OWW! Moving it hurts. Yeah, that's helpful... Looking at the bright side, I apparently managed to close my eyes before I found out how a TV dinner feels all those years ago, so they’ll probably still work. "I don't get it. Why are we even guarding this place? It's just some ice blocks, why are they in prison?" Guards. Of course. What else did I expect? "What, you don't know...? Oooh, I get it. A rookie?" Wonderful. I'm guarded by some noobs. Really, Princesses? No wonder your ponies actually know what "epic monster of the week" means. "...Yeah." "That's okay, everyone was a newbie at the beginning. Allow me to illuminate you - in these ice blocks are imprisoned two of the most deadly enemies of Equestria - the Dawwkward Duo." ...wait, what did you just say? "They’re real?!" "Of course. Also, I suggest reading some good history books - nopony nowadays seems to do that. The Ministry of Education is really bucked up. That's the only way of explaining all of this. I nearly lost my faith in ponykind when half of the recruits admitted to their ignorance about Princess Luna's origin." DAWWKWARD DUO?! CEEEEELEEEEESTIAAAAAA! "It's just... they are so weird, you know? Levitation, flying, setting everything on fire and running at the speed of sound without any kind of magic? Like a fairytale for foals." "Apparently all real. In the end they both got frozen during their last fight and ended up here. Every night some important unicorn comes from Canterlot University and reinforces the original spell. The feline also has this heat-absorbing armor or something, so it can't free itself. The hedgehog is not resistant to extreme temperatures, so he sleeps peacefully without any additional gadgets, like always." WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE THERE WILL BE A RECKONING FOR THIS DISGRACE, CELESTIA! I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HORN AND SHOVE IT AS DEEP INTO YOUR FLANK AS HUMANLY AND INHUMANLY POSSIBLE! YOUR FATE WILL GIVE A BIRTH TO A COMPLETELY NEW TYPE OF HORROR MOVIES AND POP CULTURE REFERENCES! AND ALL OF THEM WILL BE STARTING WITH A PINEAPPLE OR CHEESE GRATER! "So... we just stand here, control our bladders, and make sure they’re still on ice?" "Exactly. Though, I still can't believe how they’re still alive in these circumstances." "Maybe they are partially frogs? I heard that frogs can hibernate in ice." "Even with such ability I think this must be very nasty experience. Think about this - your jewels frozen for eleven centuries." You have no idea, dude... All right, I think I'm calm now. Mostly. I can't even predict how ‘Blaze’ is gonna react, since she’s so much more... enthusiastic about showing her negative feelings as opposed to the responsible ones. But let's not waste even more time on chilling out and let's get out of here... Heh, get it? Chilling out because of... Okay, I'd better shut up before my frozen mind will commit more stupid puns and jokes. I focused on my right hand and did my best on pumping it with my willforce*. I know, it's not a real word, but when I was three years old I wanted so much to be a Jedi... So when I needed a name for this mysterious juice of power inside of me, that's what I came up with. Definitely better than those dumb midichlorians. First Episode never happened, guys. Never. Back to the topic. Do you know how hard it is to pump your limb with this sweet juice of Force when you can't even feel your hand? Not easy, at least for me. After all, my power is based upon directing willforce to the object of my focus. Fortunately you can make up for this disadvantage with imagination - you only need to convince yourself that you feel your arm, not actually feel your arm. A little gap, but so important. Without any mercy I took advantage of it. Ponies in, let’s say, a five miles radius are in for a nasty surprise, that’s for sure. I hope no one is drinking anything with ice cubes right now... For a very, very short moment all the seismographs in the Geological Institute of Canterlot went wild. Most nobles barely noticed this - they were much more outraged by the fact that pretty much all objects made from glass and ice suddenly shattered, which resulted in many injuries and even more angry letters to the government. The number of said messages increased tenfold after a few days, when several buildings in the city collapsed. Turns out something relocated all foundations about half an inch to the west. Nopony was quite sure why. Except Discord, that is. If he wasn’t imprisoned in stone at the time, he would explain it was mainly for swag. Argh, talk about going too far... I can already sense the incoming headache. See, that's the reason why Silver needs cooldown after using his telekinesis in games, other than weakening his ridiculously strong power for gameplay's sake... Cooldown... what, puns again?! I lost - my only jokes are puns. After a few seconds, most of my organs started working more or less normally and with some difficulties, I stood up. Gotta love my healing factor. I am by no means an immortal Deadpool (may his escapades never end), but turns out there is a good reason why characters in games casually get up after taking a death ray or rocket to the face, as long as they have some rings. Speaking of rings, there were three of them just floating in front of the reinforced doors leading to the rest of the prison (which apparently got very loud in response to my little shockwave). I never found out how this is possible, but me and my inflammable friend can actually see and "pick up" (absorb) gold rings in various places. Nopony else can, so yay, we have a monopoly for life protection! Again, game logic, as long as we have at least one we can take almost any hit. Also, don't ask me what happens if I collect a hundred of them or find a jar with my face inside... It's too weird even for me. I glanced around, still thanking St. Gordon Freeman, patron of life-threatening situations, shooting, and crowbars. My chaotic burst of power not only set me free, but also destroyed pretty much everything else in the room. The two guards, probably standing before at both sides of the door, were still alive; however, I think they were in for a loooong sick leave - ponies do not leave dents in the walls and just carry on, like Blaze. My friend was near the remains of her formerly much bigger ice prison, panting after centuries without any breath. By the way, the guard was wrong - she wasn't restricted by some magical armor, just some enchanted iron blocks chained to her feet and hands. Heh… not for long. I focused once again. My telekinesis is… different from the one unicorns use. Theirs is much weaker, but also more precise. If you want to smash something, then I’m your man, however do not expect me to play with two Rubik’s cubes with telekinesis at the same time. Bending metal? Piece of cake, that is if I won’t try with all four enchanted blocks at once. Very long ago, Blaze questioned me how it feels to move stuff with your mind. In response I asked how does it feel to burn stuff with your mind. Explaining telekinesis to her was like telling a blind man to describe the color red. With an unpleasant rasp, the fetters bended and broke into several parts, one after the other, which actually wasn’t easy after my recent stunt. Now I'm sure there will be a headache in a matter of seconds. "You all right, Blaze?" I asked. When it comes to Blaze, there is no getting up. She just suddenly changes her position from horizontal to vertical in a matter of milliseconds. Seriously, who begins their day by jumping up like that? Answer according to Blaze: someone who for a few years had a very demanding kung fu teacher. "Yes, Silver," she answered without any kind of emotion in her voice. Her lips were as straight as a ruler - eeyup, no one does a poker face just like her. "I certainly deeply enjoyed being imprisoned for centuries in a block of not-melting magical ice with the most annoying and childish person I ever met. And no, I won't waste my energy chewing someone like you out. I will save it for someone else." "Geez, no need to be so sarcastic. I did set us free, you know." I smirked. "Don't you dare use that full of confidence tone in a world so infatuated with Murphy's law." Blaze faced the reinforced door (absorbing three rings, by the way), extended her arm, and put a pointing finger on the surface. A tiny flame instantly appeared around it, slowly but easily melting the old carbon steel. "Killjoy," I muttered. "Did you say something?" "Err... nope!" Right, sharp sense of hearing. Gotta remember that, lest I want another scar on my back to remind me of the time I called her out on using pony-isms in her speech… Oh. Oh, wow, I just dodged a bullet there, didn’t I? Nice! I better keep this lucky streak going as long as I can. Temperamental partners are the least of my worries right now, after all. Headaches after abusing my power were always unnaturally short (no longer than a minute), but incredibly intense, so I decided to sit on one of the guards in lieu of a chair. He whimpered weakly at the added weight. "Hey, don't whine, Mr. Royal Guard. An adult pony shouldn't act this way even if someone is sitting on your probably-broken ribs. Such things happen when you buck up in the military, and you bucked up royally - as you said, you had only one easy job and you still managed to wreck everything." The cute, overgrown pony obediently remained silent despite his agonising pain. Or maybe he just passed out. "I have no idea why the designer of this cell put just a simple reinforced door here," said Blaze, slowly moving her burner-like finger across the surface, drawing a curve of brightly-glowing metal. "They should be fireproof. Normal ones don’t even slow me down much." My eyebrow shot up. "Because your first action after removing all these fancy handcuffs holding back our powers would be, without any doubt, releasing me. ‘Cause with me around, tearing even the best gate to pieces would be a matter of seconds." I made sure to put some emphasis on the most important words - I have a tendency to get spiteful during my after-Jedi headaches (yes, that's a real name). Blaze stiffened for a second before resuming her work, showing no other reaction. I'm not going to lie, our relationship could use a little... all right, a lot of loyalty. She is a snob raised in an even more snobbish family, not a determined Guardian of Sol Emeralds. It's hard to befriend someone like this even normally, but after they lost everything except their clothes and sharp tongue? Just no. We were a team only because, well, we are the only humans (kind of) on this planet. It's... comforting to be in the presence of someone in the same terrible situation, even if you really hate that person. Okay, maybe not completely the same. When I have a nightmare, I don't set my bed/sleeping bag/solid rock/whatever I'm sleeping on on fire. "Equestria to Silver, you have received permission to land, I repeat, you have received..." Okay, that's enough of this emotional rambling! Time for some action and showing off! "There will be an entire group of Royal Guards on the other side, right?" I asked. Blaze looked at me with some really serious disappointment visible on her face. Yay, an expression from Blaze not caused by anger! Everyone, you need to buy a draw for a lottery, it's a lucky day for all humanity! "What kind of question is that? This is a prison, you moron." Ah, here we are. Moron - her favourite way of addressing me. She was kind enough to reserve that word for this purpose only. How sweet of her, an insult intended just for me. I guess this is an opposite to "honey" - the same amount of emotion, but two different ends of the scale. I raised my arm and finished the job of removing the doors from their hinges. And sure, there were guards. "HALT!" announced one of them. "Give up immediately, Dawwkward Duo!" My pulse jumped to the frequency usually present only right before heart attacks. I'm sure I did also a pretty damn good job of impersonating Knuckles in both appearance and behavior in the next seconds. "I'll show you awkward and daww, you little technicolor horse!" I roared at him, despite being of the same height after becoming a hedgehog. I HATE that nickname for our team, but that word that starts with H is even worse. I've had enough of it in all fanfiction I ever read. I raised my hand. "Do you know what this is? This is a hand." I flexed my fingers. "How about this? No? This is a fist." Then I finally brought my fist to my chest in universal position known as "Silver is gonna mess you up" and gathered all power I could. "I'm sure you have never heard of this before, scrawny milk drinkers, because..." "...IT'S NO USE! TAKE THIS!" My scream of pure manliness and righteous fury echoed down the corridor, followed only by the sounds of bodies colliding with walls and, in the case of a certain cat, of palm colliding with a face. * Seriously, this is exactly how all so-called "guides to psychokinesis" begin. Mystical Force juices... don't look at me like that, that's not my idea.