Practically everypony in the room starts protesting all at once, their voices intermingling and becoming indistinguishable from the others. My jaw is hanging open; I'm completely speechless. The very suggestion that Chrysalis of all fucking ponies would even consider helping us is so ludicrous that if the others weren't protesting, I'd have thought I imagined it.
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Luna yells, her voice rising to such levels that she drowns out everypony else. She slams her hoof down on the table with so much force that it flips over, sending everything flying across the room. Celestia, who is the only one other than Cadance and me that's keeping quiet, returns the table and everything that was on it back to its original position with her magic. Despite her usual composure, she looks troubled.
“I agree with Luna; what the hay?” Rainbow demands, approaching the table as well now that there's space for her. “She's a monster and she should be beaten up, not allied with!”
“She ruined my brother's wedding day, and even yours, Cadance!” Twilight adds, though she looks more confused than angry. Finally, I manage to gather the words for my own protest.
“There's no way in hell that I'd ever ally with that bug eyed bitch!” I spit out my words with venom, clenching my fists and remembering the hell that she put Canterlot and me through. I almost let everypony die because of the offer she made me. Cadance winces at the vehemence in my words. “The better question is, why would you even consider it!? She not only stole your husband out from under your nose, but she also beat you half to death, shoved you in the caves and cut off your magic for days, and then almost killed everypony you loved!”
“Seth and I did not fight so hard to save Canterlot only to invite her right back in with our blessing!” Luna adds right after me, agreeing with me wholeheartedly. “This is completely out of the...”
“That's enough,” Celestia inserts firmly, raising her voice just loud enough to be heard over everypony else. The authority in her tone is enough to silence us all, albeit grudgingly. She then turns to her niece with serious stare. “Let Cadance speak for herself. I am...intrigued, for lack of a better word, why she would bring up such a...dissenting suggestion.”
“Thank you, Auntie,” Cadance responds, slipping out of formalities now that there are no longer officers here. She regards us next, noting how every single pair of eyes is fixated on her. “I understand your protests. Really, I do. But this isn't a situation where we can afford to hold a grudge. We need more power, right? Who else has the power to stand at our level other than the changeling queen?”
“Hold a grudge!?” I shoot back hotly, forgetting that I'm talking to a princess. “She put me through hell and almost cost me everything I've accomplished since getting here. Don't you call that a fucking grudge!”
“Seth!” Celestia snaps, her voice rising again. Shocked, I quiet down, albeit with a hateful stare. Celestia hardly ever rises her voice at me, so I figure I should back off, even with how angry I am right now. “I understand that the changeling invasion was a tumultuous time for us all. However, let us discuss this in a professional and orderly manner.”
There's an awkward silence after that, but it only lasts until Cadance recollects her thoughts. “I know what she did to me. I know what she did to all of you,” she admits. The silence in between sentences seems almost oppressive. “But we're facing nearly insurmountable odds. If we lose, Equestria will be conquered and enslaved, just like the Crystal Empire. I would do anything before I let our poor ponies suffer through that. Even if it means extending the olive branch to Queen Chrysalis.”
“Ah actually agree.” At that, everyone in the room looks at Applejack with varying degrees of shock. She doesn't look the least bit ashamed for saying something like that aloud. What the hell, Applejack? Some of us express our surprise more vocally.
“Applejack? How could you say that?” Twilight confronts her, looking betrayed at the very thought of one of her friends wanting to team up with Chrysalis.
“Ah jus' think it's the sensible thing ta do. Them changelings are pretty tough. If we had 'em on our side, this'd be a lot easier on us,” Applejack explains, shrugging. “Not only that, but that also keeps us from havin' ta fight a war on two fronts.”
“...Which would decimate our forces,” Luna admits, as much as she hates to say it. Even Celestia nods, agreeing with that logic. “I am still opposed to this. Letting in the changelings wouldst provide them with a golden opportunity to infiltrate our country once more.”
“But why would she even want to help us?” Rarity joins the conversation next with a very legitimate and pressing question.
“She won't. She's said more than once that she wants nothing more than to crush Canterlot,” I point out, a bit of a growl in my voice. “This conversation is ultimately pointless. She'll never help us, even if by the grace of god we all agree on this. Which we won't. I certainly won't.”
“Don't be so quick to say that, Seth,” Cadance says to me.
“Oh? And why shouldn't I?” I demand. I can't believe Cadance of all ponies is suggesting something this fucking stupid.
“Did you ever listen to Queen Chrysalis? Did you ever wonder why she attacked Canterlot with everything she had, even risking herself?”” Cadance returns fervently.
“Despite what you may think, this is something I have to do. I won't let you get in my way. Come.”
“The changelings have never known peace, or happiness. I am always hungry...there's never enough love...just useless lust, which is as empty as an abyss!”
I pause, remembering the things that Chrysalis said during our battle with her. At the time, I didn't focus much on it because I was too busy fighting for my life, but I do remember feeling like I understood her a little more, because she thought a lot like I would have if I'd never come to Equestria. Even so...her race's plight is no excuse for doing what she did.
“She had to, Seth. Her changelings were starving, and she believed that Princess Celestia was the largest source of love to be found,” Cadance reveals, restating what I already know. However, the other ponies don't look like they knew that, because they're looking at one another in confusion.
“You really are the fucking Princess of Love,” I groan, unable to believe how far she's willing to go to support her suggestion.
“I don't forgive her...but I understand her,” Cadance continues. “That's why I believe that if we help her first, she'll be willing to help us fight. After all, if Sombra wins, she and all of her changelings will starve to death.”
“Well...she does have a point,” Rarity admits, moving over to Applejack with a bit of a sheepish expression on her face. “She's monstrous, but I'm not seeing another option. It's not as if I can fight King Sombra.”
“If she was trying to protect her children...I don't think I can hold that against her.” Fluttershy gives in next, though she looks ashamed at what she's saying. “I don't like what she did...but she reminds me of a predator. She can't help that her body was made for a different kind of nutrition.”
“I don't believe this,” I scoff, looking at the four ponies who are now for siding with Chrysalis. “I won't stand for this. Shining Armor won't stand for this.”
“Pinkie, what do you think?” Twilight addresses the pony that's been mostly quiet so far, which is a miracle in and of itself.
“Chrysalis friendship party!” Pinkie proceeds to squeal, firing off two separate party cannons into the air while waving two pennants around that have Chrysalis's face painted on them. Despite the situation, I stare at her dumbfounded, wondering how in the hell she got all of that stuff. Celestia similar looks bemused as she puffs confetti off of her nose. Once she realizes that everypony is staring at her, Pinkie shrugs and tosses the cannons and pennants away, where they disappear just as fast as they appeared. “Chrysalis is a meanie. But if we tried to make her go away, then we'd be the meanies.”
There's a small silence after that. With Pinkie's opinion, we're half and half here as far as opinions go. Considering how outlandish and stupid Cadance's suggestion is, I'm beyond shocked that even half of us agree with her. On the dissenting side, there's me, Twilight, Rainbow, Luna, and I hope Celestia, though she hasn't exactly stated her opinion either way. On the agreeing side is Cadance, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie.
“Enough. I have heard your opinions on either side, and I will take them into consideration,” Celestia finally says before the argument can start back up again. “I will need some time to think on it before I can make a decision. As of right now, let us assume that we are on our own.”
“The only decision to be made here is to fucking blast her into oblivion,” I grumble under my breath instead of yelling at Celestia directly. The princess made the most diplomatic response she could have, so yelling at her would only make me look biased...even though I certainly am. I can't believe Cadance of all ponies would think of allying with that bitch.
“That's fair, I suppose,” Twilight admits. Rainbow is seething next to me, much to my relief. It's good to know that at least she has my back. Not that she ever hasn't. “Princess, what do you want us to do?”
“That is the next order of business I wish to address,” Celestia responds, fixing all of us with a serious expression. “I want to express to you that this is no longer your battle. With the absence of the Element of Magic, the Elements of Harmony are useless, and as such there is no need for you all to risk yourself on the battlefield with us.”
“If any of you wish to return home, none of us will think less of you. I promise to keep Ponyville safe from harm in the coming war,” Celestia finishes, meeting the gaze of everyone around her, even me.
“What? How could I leave you all to fight without me?” Twilight is the first to respond. She looks appalled that Celestia would even suggest she run away. “No, I'm staying for as long as you need me, princess.”
“Ah fought durin' the changeling invasion. I ain't backin' down now,” Applejack asserts, flexing a hoof. “This's actually easier. Now we don't gotta fight livin' things.”
“I'm staying! If I don't stay, then what am I gonna do with this?” Pinkie proclaims, and then she proceeds to to pull out what looks like a fucking organ cannon that fires streamers and party buzzers into the air. Wisely, the others choose to ignore the ridiculousness that is Pinkie.
“I would really rather not have to engage in battle with such ghastly creatures...but there's more at stake than my own sensibilities,” Rarity admits. “Just tell me how I can help.”
“Yeah, let's do this! I'm with you the whole way! There's some undead that need a beating!” Rainbow declares. Right, like there was any chance of Rainbow going home while the rest of us fought.
“Magic or not, I made a promise to myself, and to you. Even if I have to go in with just a sword with the earth ponies, that's fine with me,” I declare. Unfortunately, I never did learn how to wield a weapon, but it's not like I'm fighting somepony who's skilled with a blade. They're just undead.
All eyes fall upon Fluttershy, the last one who hasn't said anything. She jumps a bit when she realizes she's the center of attention, and then she quails. “Um...I...I don't want to fight, but...if you are all going, then...I'll do what I can,” Fluttershy stammers. “I don't want anypony getting hurt.”
“Twilight, you have some wonderful friends,” Cadance remarks, earning a smile and a blush from the unicorn in question. Celestia nods in agreement.
“You are all willing to fight with us?” Celestia asks one last time. She gets a confirmatory nod from all of us. “Very well. Then I have orders for you all. Twilight and Rarity, I'm assigning you to the Second Division, beneath Captain Blades. He will know best how to use your respective talents.”
Twilight and Rarity look at one another, and then nod their assent. That seems about right. Twilight seems like she'd fit well in the Second Division. Rarity as well, because there's no way she could be a part of the more physical and up close First Division.
Celestia regards the two earth ponies and me next. “Pinkie Pie, I would like you to place yourself at the disposal of the First Division. Your aptitude for...heavy artillery...should prove useful on the front lines.”
“Oki dokie lokie!”
“Seth, Rainbow, and Applejack, I have other plans for you that I will discuss later,” Celestia continues. The three of us exchange glances, confused. Shouldn't we just join the earth ponies? And why wouldn't Celestia assign Rainbow to the Wonderbolts or something? “Lastly, Fluttershy, if it would not be too much trouble, I'm assigning you to medical duty. I feel it is where you'll be the most help.”
“Oh. Thank you, Princess Celestia. I'll do my best,” Fluttershy responds, no doubt relieved that she doesn't have to do any fighting. Still, her job is pretty tough as well.
Anyway, I think that's all of us. I still don't have any orders, and there's a week to wait before Sombra's forces get here. “I believe that covers everything. Report to your assigned locations, and follow the orders of your captains. We have a week until the undead arrive; I trust that you will do everything in your power to ensure the safety of this city,” Celestia finishes. She returns her gaze to Applejack, Rainbow, and I next. “I would like you three to report to me by the end of this evening. I will have orders for you by then. Until then, you are all dismissed.”
The other ponies chorus in acknowledgment and start to leave the room. I give one last look at Celestia to see if I can discern her intentions for me, but to no avail. She's discussing something with her sister and Cadance in hushed tones right now.
I let out a sigh and leave the room alongside Rainbow and Applejack, figuring that I'll find out tonight what she wants from me. In the meantime, I should probably find a weapon. I'll probably visit Shining Armor as far as that goes.
“Ah wonder what other plans the princess's got for us?” Applejack wonders aloud as the three of us follow the others down the hallways leading out of the town hall.
“Maybe we're gonna be like, special agents or something!” Rainbow suggests, excitement brimming in her voice. Special agents. Gosh, that's extremely childish. “Slipping in under the cover of night, heading right for their leadership, and then be like...pow! Right in the jaw!”
“Ah think you've been readin' too much Darin' Do,” Applejack comments dryly. Heh, that sounds about right. No, this isn't going to be glamorous. We're going to war against an undead army. If anything, this'll be much much worse than the changeling invasion.
“It could happen!” Rainbow protests with a pout. She looks at me next. “Seth agrees with me, right?”
“Of course I...” I'm about to make a smart comment, but then Applejack presses a hoof to my mouth, taking me by surprise.
“Just kiss 'im. He'll agree with ya then,” Applejack jokes. I push her hoof away and glare at her, while Rainbow blushes at the joke.
“Shut up! Stupid Applejack,” Rainbow emits, shoving her snickering friend with her shoulder. Heh, the sad part is, I do have a tendency to forget anything I'm thinking whenever Rainbow kisses me spontaneously. Rainbow blushes further. “I'm not going to kiss him in front of you, anyway.”
“Still here, thank you,” I point out, which is enough to cause Applejack to laugh harder at Rainbow's expense.
The short moment of merriment ends when we exit the town hall into the streets. The first thing we notice are the lines of civilian ponies walking through the streets. Most of them are wearing packed saddlebags, and others are lugging suitcases behind them. Others are riding in wagons filled with their personal belongings. Judging by the soldiers with them, they're being escorted out of town, on their way to Canterlot. It's official. Trotsdale is preparing for battle.
Twilight and the others have already split paths ahead of us, moving to their respective divisions. It isn't long before they're out of sight, and it's just the three of us standing here awkwardly, wondering what the hell we're supposed to do in the meantime.
“So uh...what now?” Applejack questions, voicing my thoughts. “Think we should go an' help out somewhere?”
“It's not like we have anything better to do,” I reply with a shrug. Actually, I'm lying. I need to go get a weapon. “Actually, I should probably find an armory somewhere. I can't use magic, so I need a weapon.”
“That's cuz ya ain't got the muscles of a workpony,” Applejack teases me, flexing the muscles in her back legs.
“Yes well, I'm not built like you ponies. Humans only survived because of our ingenuity,” I remind her, earning an understanding nod from her.
“Fair 'nuff. In that case, ah might see if Shinin' Armor wants mah help with the trees,” Applejack suggests. Tipping her hat, she breaks off from the Rainbow and I. “Ah'll catch y'all later tonight.”
“See ya, AJ!” Rainbow calls after her. Then, a moment later, she grins as an idea comes to her. “You know, as long as we're just killing time, I think I should go see if the Wonderbolts need help!”
“Right...I'm sure there will be no fawning over Spitfire involved,” I remark wryly, noticing an excuse when I see one.
Instead of acting embarrassed, Rainbow turns around and gives me a half-lidded expression. “What, are you jealous, Seth?” Rainbow asks with a smirk.
“What? Why would I...jealous of...but...” I stammer, taken off guard by her random accusation. “That's not...ugh, fine, maybe a little.”
Rainbow cackles at my confession. She swoops down next to me, and then after making sure that nopony else was watching, she gives me a light peck behind my ear. “You're cute,” Rainbow comments, and then she starts flying up into the sky, where the pegasi are patrolling. “I'll see you tonight!”
“Hey! I am not...cute...” I protest weakly, but she flies out of earshot before I can finish. I groan and rub the spot where she kissed me. Blasted infuriating rainbow pony with the stupid mane and...fuck, I love her. Nopony else can throw me for a loop like she does.
Now that I'm alone, I pick my way through the streets, looking for Shining Armor to see if I can't find a weapon of some sort. Unfortunately, finding him is easier said than done. I reach the part of the city nearest the waterfall where the ponies have already evacuated. Soldiers are swarming through the streets in ranks, shuttling weapons and supplies to and from the different houses.
Some of the houses, particularly the ones near the edge of town, have been converted into defensive positions, where the windows are open and soldiers are positioned inside and equipped with longbows. Some of the houses even have powerful ballistae set up inside in locations where there's a clear view of the land before them. Considering the land slopes downward from the city, that's actually a tactically sound decision. The undead will have to scale the hills to reach the town, all while death is rained down on them from above. That's not even counting the trebuchets on the mountainside near the waterfall.
Eventually, I give up trying to find Shining Armor; finding him in this large town is ridiculously hard. He might even be up on the mountainside chopping down trees. Considering all of the weapons I'm seeing carried around, surely one of them can be spared for my personal use.
“Hold up a second,” I say to one of the unicorn soldiers passing by me. He has a box of weapons with him that he's carrying with his magic. From here, I can see swords and lances, as well as a few shields. The soldier pauses, giving me a cursory stare. “I need a weapon. Mind if I take one of those?”
“Go ahead. Good to see you're fighting with us again,” the soldier says to me with a friendly smile. Hold up, do I know this guy? I don't think so, but apparently he knows me...apart from the obvious fact that I'm the only one that looks like me in the entire world apart from Hawke. Whatever. It's not that important.
Let's see, I have no experience in fighting with a lance...not to mention I don't like the idea of being unable to hurt my enemy except with a very small point. My attention is soon drawn by one of the swords on top. It's similar to a bastard sword, but a bit shorter, kind of like a hand and a half version. It has a long, thick blade that tapers to a lethal looking point.
I grab the weapon’s case and unsheathe it, a little surprised by how heavy it is. I've never held a sword before, but I always imagined them being lighter than this. I haven't trained with it, but it can't be much different from wielding the scythe. It should actually be easier than handling the scythe, and much more practical.
“Thanks,” I respond, holding up the sword to get a feel for its balance. The soldier nods and departs, carrying his shipment of weapons to wherever they're needed. Now then, I should probably take this someplace where I can practice with it without lopping off somepony's head by accident. That clearing where I spoke with Celestia sounds like a good place.
As I walk, I strap the sheath to my side, fastening the straps around my waist. Of course I have to loosen the straps as much as possible, because they weren't made for humans. It's a little tight, but it works.
Before long, I'm back in the clearing overlooking the waterfall, and I can finally work on getting used to this weapon. As expected, it's much easier to handle than the scythe, so it isn't long before I'm practicing different types of thrusts and slashes.
I only get a half an hour to practice before I'm interrupted. “Excuse me, Seth. Do you have a moment?” Cadance addresses me, emerging from the street behind me. Thankfully she gave me enough warning, so I lower my sword and cease my practicing for now.
“Shouldn't you be on your way to Griffonstone?” I ask, annoyed at being interrupted. Besides, I'm not too happy with her considering what she tried to pull during the strategy meeting earlier. “What are you doing talking to me?”
“I should be, yes. I will be leaving in less than an hour,” Cadance answers, walking towards me. I sheath my sword, figuring that this might take a while. I wonder how anypony does anything if they get interrupted as much as I do whenever I try to take time for myself. “But I have something very important to speak to you about.”
“I'm listening.”
Cadance sighs and looks down, as if it's taking a great deal of effort just to bring herself to talk to me. I raise an eyebrow, getting a bad feeling. This better not be bad news, or I swear to god I'm going to break something. “You won't like it. It's about Queen Chrysalis,” she warns me. My mood drops like a stone, but I wait for her to finish before saying anything. Cadance lifts her head and stares directly into my eyes. “If Celestia chooses to ally with the changelings, I want you to be the one to negotiate with their queen.”
My immediate reaction is to throw back my head and laugh for a solid ten seconds. Cadance winces, but doesn't look surprised. After I calm down, I note that she's still looking at me expectantly. “Hold up, you're actually serious?” I ask incredulously. When Cadance nods, I scoff in disbelief and derisiveness. “God no! What the hell kind of drugs have you been taking? What in God's green earth makes you think I'd even consider entertaining that request!?”
“I expected you'd say as much,” Cadance admits, sighing in disappointment. “But I would like you to reconsider. You're the only one that has even the slightest chance of convincing Queen Chrysalis to ally with us.”
“Okay, let's assume I'm on board with this stupid fucking scheme of yours. Which I'm not, just in case you care,” I retort. As stupid as this is, I'm curious as to what's going through her head right now. Besides the ridiculously mistaken belief that I would negotiate with the changeling queen, to whom I would much rather shove this sword up her nether regions for what she tried to do to me back at Canterlot. “How does that follow? Last time I checked, Chrysalis is busy building up another army for an assault. She even said that she intends to come back and crush us all when she has the chance. I'm damn sure that if I were to just randomly show up and ask to negotiate, she would laugh in my face and then proceed to incinerate me.”
“Not necessarily. I learned a lot about what occurred during the invasion through the reports as well as asking Celestia herself for details. Thus, I know why she approached you and made you that offer in the first place,” Cadance responds, taking my angry skepticism in stride. “You're the last human, and you fascinated her. She offered you a place at her side first, didn't she?”
“Yeah, she did. And then I threw it in her face, as well as everything else she...ugh...offered me,” I remind her sharply. “I'm pretty sure that she has a grudge against me now.”
“Maybe, but I heard she gave you not one, but two chances to reconsider your decision, even after you fought against her and harmed her changelings,” Cadance counters. “Then, both Celestia and Luna heard her offer you a place with her, even after she escaped. Am I wrong?”
“Seth, if you ever change your mind, come find me. I'll give you a life beyond your wildest dreams.”
“Alright, I'll give you that much. But that doesn't matter. I'm not taking her offer. Why does it sound like you're trying to convince me to?” I demand.
“I'm not telling you to take her offer. I'm just telling you to take advantage of the fact that she made it in the first place! At the very least, she'll hear you out,” Cadance explains vehemently. “Please, Seth, just think about it. If we ally with the changelings, not only will we have a better chance at defeating King Sombra, but we'll also protect our rear and remove the threat of a war on two fronts!”
“It's not happening. I'm not going anywhere near Chrysalis if I can help it,” I tell her firmly. “Even if I go and she listens to me, I can't fight her anymore. There's a very good chance I would end up captured and likely her personal human slave. And then what are you going to do? Send the army to free me while Sombra is breathing down your necks?”
“You wouldn't be going alone, of course,” Cadance tries to reassure me. However, she releases an irritated huff and stamps the ground out of frustration. “You know, it seems to me more like you're afraid to face her!”
“What, did I give you permission to start acting all therapist? The answer I gave you is no. Can't you just accept that?” I shoot back, offended...even though I have no right to be. She's right. I'm terrified of Chrysalis. The first time I met her, she nearly ruined my life, and then proceeded to beat the everliving shit out of me. Even when I had as much power as her, there was still a chance she'd beat me in battle. Now? Now she could make me her bitch and there would be nothing I could do about it.
“You...!” Cadance looks like she's about to say something else, but then she gives one last sigh. When she next looks at me, it's with a deceptively calm expression. “Fine. I'll respect your decision. But I want you to know that if you keep running away from the problem, it'll never get resolved.”
“Noted. Now fuck off so I can get back to practicing,” I snap, turning around and unsheathing my sword. Cadance stands behind me for a few seconds longer as I start to practice, until I finally hear her depart. God, that was the dumbest conversation I've ever had. Like I would really go and negotiate with Chrysalis of all ponies.
As I work at perfecting a stance, I can't help but let my thoughts wander. A little niggling voice in the back of my head asks me, what if Cadance is right? Am I really just running away from Chrysalis? I mean, what else should I do? Every time I've faced her ever since meeting her, I've been afraid of her potential. It only grew worse after Luna and I fought her. After the battle, I had nightmares for weeks about her that grew steadily more twisted over time. I never told anypony about it, but I was always waking up sweating to death in the middle of the night during the month following the battle. I was never more grateful for manual labor to help keep my mind off of everything. Eventually the nightmares faded, but every so often, I'd have another one, and I'd be just as terrified as before.
Shit, I can't focus on practicing. I sheath the sword again and sit down at the edge of the cliff, gazing down into the waterfall. This sight always serves to help calm my nerves, even now.
I realize something as I stare into the falling water. I don't want to go back and fight Chrysalis. I say that I do, but every time I think about it, I feel a pit of fear in my stomach that I can't shake. If Celestia were to show up right now and declare her intentions to take down the changelings, I don't know what I would do.
In fact, it's the same with Sombra and Hawke. I get scared just thinking about them, especially now that I can't defend myself against them. I'm terrified that if they find me, I'll end up as just another human that they've killed. I want nothing more than to take everything important to me and run as far away as I can.
This brings me to a sudden realization. Isn't that what I always do? Haven't I been running from my problems for most of my life? Every time something difficult would happen to me, I would avoid the issue completely, and instead elect to ignore it. Heh, as if ignoring a problem would ever make it go away. Yet that's how I lived. Even when I came to Equestria, that part of me showed through, like when I avoided Lyra for days just because I didn't want to face the fact that things were different here. Or how I tried to die rather than realize that I would need to find a new path for myself.
“I really have been running all the time,” I comment ruefully, staring into the frothy cascade of the falls. And why wouldn't I run? Every time I come closer to my problems, it hurts so much, and I just want to turn my head and pretend things will turn out okay if I ignore them.
I haven't gotten this far without solving something, of course. But that's just it. I've never done it on my own. Every time I've made a decision, I've had to be forced or persuaded into it. Yet even so, things have always turned out for the better because I confronted the problem. That's how I'm in a relationship with Rainbow now, isn't it? I really have to hand it to my friends. I'd never have gotten this far without them.
I fall into a meditative state as I attempt to clear my mind. Once again, I feel the empty void inside of me where Sombra's magic used to be. After so long of using that magic and becoming accustomed to its presence, it feels strange for it to just be gone. But it can stay gone. I don't need it. I have my friends, and they have me. I have to believe that if we all try our hardest, we'll end up on top in the end.
Just after I think that and return to my meditative state, I notice something odd about myself. There's something else inside of me that I didn't notice before. It's difficult to describe, but it's like there's a pinprick of light in the void where Sombra's magic used to be. Surprised and a little hopeful, I push deeper within myself, until I'm almost blinded by the well of power sitting deep within myself.
I can't believe what I'm feeling. A calm, smooth stream of magic is circulating around my core, of a completely different composition than the magic I possessed before. Instead of dark and malevolent, it feels warm, familiar, and undeniably...me. That's the only way I can describe it. For as long as I had magic, the darkness never felt truly as if it belonged to me. It felt like a foreign intruder within my body, and it felt more evil than good. But not this magic. This magic must be mine. I just know it is. It responds to my touch as if it had been waiting for me my whole life.
“How...how is this here? How is this possible?” I demand aloud. How long has this magic been here? Why couldn't I access it before? Unless...it had always been overpowered by the darkness, and I'd never understood how to access anything other than dark mana. Hesitantly, I tap into it...and the feeling of power surging through me is all too familiar.
My eyes snap open, glowing with an emerald light. The ground cracks and shatters around my rear as I draw upon this new magic. No, that's incorrect. This is my magic, not Sombra's. I stand up, just as ribbons of lime green energy burst from the ground and circle around my body like fire. My new aura explodes from around me, feeling like an extension of myself rather than another entity that wanted to drive me insane. There's no electricity either, just a smooth flowing current that swirls around me and fills my body with strength that I never thought I would feel again. Not just that, but my vision doesn't change, allowing me to see much clearer than before.
I let out a rising cry as I call upon as much magic as I can. For every single particle of dark mana that I possessed before, there's an equivalent one of this new mana...my mana. As strong as I was before, I'm just as strong now. A happy expression crosses my face as I realize that I can finally fight with the others, and return the faith the they've given me. I'm not going to run away anymore.
My aura spirals higher and higher as I push all the way to the limits of my power, reaching the mental barrier in my mind and breaking past it in an instant. Unlike when I controlled darkness, there's no pain as I ascend further. My hair rises up just like before, flowing upwards into the air as if suspended in liquid. However, my hands remain the same. This time, the most noticeable difference are the lime green runes made from magic that etch themselves on my skin. Two of these lines run through each of my eyes, but don't obscure my vision. They run down my chest and along the outer edges of my arms. I even recognize some of the symbols...and holy shit, I think that's cuneiform writing.
“Yes...with this, I can finally take a stand,” I declare, my hands outstretched. “Chrysalis, Hawke, and Sombra...I'm not going to run away from you anymore.”