Chapter 38: The record shows I took the blows…
It was a bright sunny day in Canterlot, the light made the castle sparkle inside and out thanks to the diligence and care of the castle staff. They worked hard day in and day out to make sure everything was kept well and ready for Celestia and Luna. Their almost around the clock care was out of two emotions, love and fear. Love for the Princesses and how the influence of their work helped the princesses in decision making, and fear being that many of the staff had old memories of trauma of what they called the “Princess Experiments”. Times when the Princesses tried their hooves at something that they normally didn't do and it ended up being a disaster, for all involved.
Feather Duster was the second line maid, just a place below the head maid. She was busy taking care of her duties near one of the entrances to the throne room when she heard suspicious sounds coming from behind the door. Giggling and then laughter sounded from the other side and brought Feather Duster’s work to a halt. Her namesake work item dropped from her muzzle and fell to the floor making a muffled clatter as it hit the carpet. Feather Duster had not been there for any major “experiments” that her predecessors had faced but she had cleaned up some of the remnants. Following the training and protocols that she received she crept to the door and put her ear to it, trying to get a better sense of what might be going on behind it. She heard laughter of both her princesses but it also sounded like there was other ponies in there with them. Now Day Court wasn’t to begin for another three hours so this confused her immensely.
With the silence, and grace of a cat, Feather Duster nudged the door open just enough and poked her head in. The Princesses were indeed in the room, laughing. Celestia sat as straight as she could, holding a hoof to her mouth to stifle her laughter. While Luna lay on the floor her hoof hitting the polished marble floor many a time as she laughed heartily. While that was expected what Feather Duster hadn’t expected was what they were laughing at. Only a few feet away was Princess Cadence And Prince Shining Armor, the newly crowned Crystal Princess and Prince of the Crystal Empire.
Feather guessed that this must be a surprise visit seeing as how they were not scheduled on the itinerary that was on Feather Duster’s bedside table when she woke up. Her train of thought was broken as the Princesses stopped laughing and looked back to Princess Cadence, who apparently was explaining something. And that something probably had to do with Shining Armor who was looking at the floor looking beet red.
“And then- and then as the music starts playing and I'm standing there wondering what’s going on, Shining slides into view in the doorway, wearing only a white dress shirt, sunglasses, and socks!” Cadence paused to catch her breath while she began laughing. “So he slides in, in beat to the music and just starts dancing away, not noticing I’m standing there for like five minutes! But, then at the end of the song he finally turns around and sees me, catches the end of a throw rug with his hoof and then flips twice before landing straight on his plot!” Cadence gestured with her hoof for emphasis, before letting the dam break loose, and laughing her head off. The other princesses joined her as Shining looked to bang his head repeatedly on the closest hard surface.
Feather Duster only let a smile grace her lips, as laughing would be rude considering she was eavesdropping on her majesties, plus if she knew Cadence well enough this wouldn't be the only time she heard this story today, there’d be plenty of time to laugh at it then. But, before she could think more about it her train of thought was wrecked by the sound of clattering metal.
Turning to the source of the noise Feather Duster came face to face with an angry looking Alpha squad barreling down on her position. Jonagold Apple leading them down the hallway everypony that wasn't in the squad silently, and apologetically, getting out of the way. Feather Duster had heard rumors that they had been recalled to Canterlot from Ponyville, but the problem was that no one, not even the interim Guard Captain, knew where the orders the came from or where the paperwork was, so unfortunately for the squad they had to follow them or be considered AWOL.
Feather Duster scrambled to the side just in time as Alpha Squad got to the door. Jonagold, even with anger apparent on his face, put a smile small on and nodded in thanks at Feather Duster before bucking the doors open with a kick too fast for her to see.
She watched them shuffle into the room, and then looked to the Princesses. Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor were a little shocked while Celestia wore a mask of calm and knowing.
“Ah, Lieutenant Apple, thank you for joining us, but must you take you anger out on the door?” Celestia asked half jokingly trying to calm the squad down seeing as they all looked ready to kill the next thing that ticked them off.
“Sorry your majesty but the training area shut down before we got here yesterday so none of us have really been able to vent…that is unless you've found the low down, dirty, scummy, good for nothing-!”
“Lieutenant!” Celestia’s mask broke slightly as she stopped Jonagold who was breathing heavily trying to calm down. Instead of continuing to talk he looked to Swift Gale, gave a slight nod, and then slowly began to pace the perimeter if the throne room to cool off.
“He’s really sorry your highness, but all of us share his frustration. Heck I think a good portion of Ponyville does aswell, I’m surprised you don’t have a good number of messages of grievance here now,” Swift gave a quick bow as she spoke. “Heck Flintlock almost blew the roof off the train car we were riding in!” she gestured to the unicorn who sheepishly looked away. “ We were hoping that there would be some more information for us this morning,” she said before noticing her former captain and his wife giving them a bow as all the others did.
“I wish that I had something concrete for you but right now, but my top agent is working on it, he’s been combing through everything that’s gone in and out of the castle,” although she was apologizing her words still had much confidence in them.
“Well that helps but i’m still way too hot under the collar,” Jonagold walked back to his squad after pacing several time around the room. "Besides finding out which coward did it is going to take a lot more to make me happy. It’s going to take a mir-” Jonagold never got to finish his sentence as a loud boom shook the throne room and a portal opened just above.
Everyone stood still for a second before the guards snapped out of their trance and moved to protect the princesses. As quickly as the could they formed up around them and prepared to defend themselves from whatever was coming out, out of the corners of their eyes they could see the princesses tense up just like them. That was until everyone in the room heard panic screaming coming from insides the portal.
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“Okay for posterity's sake let’s make a list of everything I did before ending up in my current state,” I said outloud to myself as I fell through a Doctor Who entrance tunnel. “Ok one; met the deity behind a lot of my past actions, who propositions me for a job. Two; accept job and agree to work for her because hey what else was I supposed to do? Three; watch her open a portal back to my Equestria and walk towards it. Four; accidentally trip into the portal while Faust was giving an instructions that sounded like a warning to not trip, and now here we are,”
I’d been falling for a couple minutes at a decent pace, feeling like I was skydiving except no clue where the ground would be or where I would be in relation to it. One thing I was thankful for though was how there wasn’t much wind which allowed me to hear myself talk and not fall in silence.
“Next time I get a chance I should ask her how long this takes...oh wait!” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my new guide book. “Okay guide how much longer do I have left in here?” I asked it, the screen remained blank for a couple seconds before a giant red arrow appeared on the page. Looking up from the book I saw the end of the portal. At first all I saw was a planet which had to be Equus and as I closed the gap the view of the planet moved in on a land mass, the closer I got the more defined my exit became, but unfortunately I got way to close before I could see where my exact exit would be. As I started to panic and scream as the last thing I saw on the portal’s face was a shot of Canterlot Castle.
It reminded me of so many television shows where somebody goes through a portal there’s always a blinding flash of light and you have no clue where you are in relation to anything else. When my vision finally came back the first thing I saw wasn’t Twilight, Celestia, the throne room, or even an aerial view of Canterlot. The first thing I saw was stairs and not from a few feet away either, they were up close. After that was pain as my head collided with one and my body went end over end, and luckily my body crumpled and allowed me to roll. I think I did about one or two rotations before before I hit the bottom and my legs fell flat on the ground in front of me and the rest of my body managed to stay upright. Everything spun around rapidly and all I was aware off was that there many different colored beings in front of me.
“Watch out for that last step...it’s a doozy!” the words slurred out of my mouth before I felt something strike the side of my face hard. Whatever it was that made my face sting seemed to restart my head as everything fell back into its proper place. My vision cleared, I could hear clearly, and everything wasn’t spinning. As this happened the first thing my eyes locked on was a golden horseshoe.
“Owwwwwww,” I drew the word out as I stood up rubbing the side of my face. As I stood up straight I heard and felt a pop or two from my back and sighed in the little relief it gave me. “Was that really necessary?” I asked to Celestia who was walking towards her sister after slapping me. A quick nod was all I got as an answer before turning and looking at the room full of shocked ponies.
“Well guys...i’m back,” I said and watched as most of their jaws hit the floor. The room was quiet for about three seconds before Flintlock started screaming, ran and jumped at me giving me a bear hug. After he did that the dam burst for most of the others as well. Lore Keeper, Red Star, Shadow Dancer, Shadow Fire, Scribble Page, and Stormbreaker all jumped me as the laughed and cheered at my return.
“Okay guys thanks that enough you guys are a bit heavy,” is what I tried to tell them but I don’t think they heard me. “Guys seriously I get it you missed me but...you know what never mind,” I said right before I teleported out from all of them leaving them to fall in a pile as I reappeared next to Swift Gale and Jonagold. “Jeez I thought they were supposed to be soldiers,” I teased Jona as I grabbed a hoof he extended for a handshake.
“And, you’d think one would have a better line after coming back from the dead...twice,” Swift punched me in the shoulder as she floated right next to me.
“Good to see you two swift,” I ruffled her mane before turning to the royalty. “Well if it isn’t my favorite married couple!” I surprised both Cadence and Shining by lifting them off the ground in a hug, Shining was the only one that struggled in my grip though.
“Hey put me down you idiot!” Shining did apparently not like being manhandled like a children’s plush toy.
“Calm thyself Shining, and stop acting like a foal,” Luna told him as she came to extend her greetings. “ But, I agree with Sergeant, I know for a fact you have a better vocabulary than that,”
“Well Excuse me princess! It gets hard to channel my endless reserves of wit and humor right after I take a shot to the head. Heck I’m surprised that after all the times I’ve gotten knocked around that i’m not anymore stupid than I should be...although I guess it’s all your mother’s doing somehow?” I slipped the little bit of information in there and watched as everything stopped and all eyes went on me. Heck even the pile of my squadmates stopped moving and looked at me the best they could.
“WHAT!!!” The air pressure that followed Lunas exclamation could have bowled me over, if I hadn’t braced myself for it. With a bemused smile I took a quick look around the room seeing that everyone besides Celestia had a look of shock. “Yeah as it turns out the whole reason I’m in Equestria in the first place, along with a long series of events leading up to right now was a plan set in motion by Celestia and Luna’s mom, Faust. Who now is my 'boss' I used air quotes completely forgetting if I had ever explained that particular hand gesture to them. “I mean it means i’m going to have to travel a bit, but I’ll be stayin here indefinitely, and for some reason it seems like you’ve had a hunch about this Princess Celestia?” I finally came eye to eye with her, her coy smile telling me she definitely knew something.
“Well i’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my suspicions some time ago but it wasn’t till recently that it did become a bit clearer,” She paused to let the ponies on the floor get to their hooves. “I believe it was about a month ago when-”
“Wait, wait, stop I don’t want to miss story time, let me get the popcorn ready!” Celestia was interrupted by a voice from something I had heard before but never met. I spun around and came face to about chest with a mismatched goofy looking creature, Discord. I was slightly afraid of him as he towered over me, but it waned as I noticed the large popcorn tub and soda he had in his arms. My fighting sense kicked into high gear as I stood there frozen waiting to see what he was going to do next as he looked down at me, with a curious look.
“OH, so you must be- OOF!” I panicked slightly thinking I saw an opening and threw a punch hitting him in the midsection. With my power the punch easily threw him from his standing place into the closest wall. I extended my magic grabbed him in a giant magical flame fist, and was about to hit him again when I was interrupted by a hoof on my shoulder.
“Dan, wait!” Cadence said, my fist clenched and eyes staring at the draconequus as his eyes rolled literally like a slot machine. “I know last time you saw Discord he was well...evil,” she shrugged as she slowly got me to loosen my magic grip and let Discord stand on his own two feet...hooves….talons...things. “But, a lot has happened since you’ve been away and now he’s on our side,” her words were a bit of a shock to me. Looking around the room my squad, Shining, Celestia, and Luna all gave my nods of confirmation, which brought me to look back at Discord who was now wearing a bandage on his snout for some reason since i didn’t hit him in the face..
“Tis true my newly met oddity. I’ve turned over a new leaf, wiped the slate clean, reformatted my hard drive...whatever a hard drive is. I’m a new chaotic being, lawful chaotic that is. He smiled floating around and using my squad as a target for a giant group hug, looking all buddy buddy with my friends as they smiled and winced in pain from being crushed together.
“He says that, but in truth he's just less of a pest and even less bent on taking over Equestria,” Luna put it bluntly causing Discord to feign shock, gasping while his hands covered his mouth leaving the squad to fall to the floor.
“Well I never! That’s just mean and is in now way tr-” I watched as he stopped and looked around only to be met with half lidded stares from everypony in the room. With a blush on his face he relented. “Oh fine, you're right, I might be ‘reformed' but i’m still the little rambunctious little tramp most still know and love,” I was surprised that I never noticed when Discord was suddenly wearing a bowler hat and small black mustache.
“Love is a strong word,” Swift basically growled as she got out of the pile Discord left them in.
“Quite true Sergeant, now if I could bring us back on track. It was about a month ago, I was taking a small stroll through the archives after Day Court had let out when I noticed a book out of place. Curiously I opened it only to come to a page with a weirdly bipedal creature,” she gave a slight smirk while explaining.
“Well I think I see where this is going,” I said seeing as how all the subtlety was now gone.
“Yes, sometimes mother can be very straight forward when she wants to. Not everything can have amazing character, depth, and complexity,” Luna strode up next to her sister, holding the book aloft in her magic. And, sure enough there was an early crude drawing of me. Brown hair, blue eyes, and more noticeably than everything else my gauntlets form my armor. There also was a picture of me in my form from when I beat Tirek, The fiery white hair, brown terracotta like skin with the weird line patterns.
“I gotta say even in old paintings I look good. Do you guys know if this still exists? I think I might want a copy of that,” I asked wondering if maybe I could hang it up in the library, and how long it would stay up before Twilight would take it down. “You don’t have to answer that now, my bigger concern, is is what happened while I was gone. I mean heck you’re all saying Discord is on our side...and for some reason that seems like that’s not even the biggest thing that’s happened,” I said watching so small twitches on ponies faces to tell me if my hunch was correct.
“Hmm quite quick on the uptake he is, despite that unprovoked attack I rather like this one,” Discord said nudging Swift Gale in the ribs.
“Unprovoked huh? Do you think that after the princesses showed him what’s happened over the last few months he’s been gone that it will really be unprovoked?” I heard her say and watched as she grinned at the draconequus . Discord raised a finger and opened his mouth to reply but he never said anything, like he was searching for something that would prove him innocent but couldn’t.
“Well I guess Dan will have to decide for himself. I hope you’re ready Dan, there is a lot to show you. It will be just like the time where you showed us the memories of your kind so long ago,” Celestia said as she walked towards me horn a glow.
“I just hope I don’t throw up this time,” I said before the tip of her horn touched my forehead and everything went black for a couple of seconds. Then suddenly visions danced in front of me and everything played out. I saw everything that had transpired in my absence. The return of the dazzling empire in the north, and the little dragon who saved it. A literal army of Pinkie Pies, the Cutie Mark Crusaders in trouble as usual. Trixie returning to Ponyville for revenge, I was sad I missed that. Still the images of events passed flew by. Spike living up to his honorable ways, Applejack overdoing it again with apples but this time her family, Rainbow showing off her stuff both athletically and morally. After that I found my proof about Discord after seeing what Fluttershy had to deal with, and reminded myself to say something once this was all done. After that I saw them in the Crystal Empire trying to help as usual with Spike sneaking around with what looked like everyone’s pets, and then everything slowed down as I watched something weird happened. Between Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack they seemed to get their personalities mixed up, and their Cutie Marks were mixed. But Twilight managed to fix it and then came something I did not expect. After a blinding flash and a small intervention form Celestia Twilight was now sporting a new pair of wings.
A little more played before everything faded again and I was back in the darkness. I blinked once and I was back in the throne room with all eyes on me. I opened my mouth to say something but stopped as I felt my stomach retch and felt bile begin to rise. Within a second a waste basket floated in front of me and I gave an accepting nod before grabbing it and proceeded to hurl. After throwing up I found a glass of water floating nearby.
“To be fair. I don’t think any creature hasn’t thrown up after that spell,” Discord said as I took the offered water to get the taste out of my mouth.
“Thanks, I guess whatever Fluttershy has been doing is working huh?” I replied to him. He opened his mouth to respond but stopped. He paused for a second before he came in close to me.
“You win this time human, but this isn’t over!” he vanished before my eyes and reappeared next to a window straddling a broom. “The master of chaos will have his revenge!” he said before the broom lifted off the ground and started to fly away all while making the sound of kids blowing raspberries.
I watched for a minute as he flew off into the distance and the sound got quieter and quieter until I could no longer hear it. When that happened I turned to everyone in the room trying not to laugh to much at Discord’s antics.
“He’s funny, I like him. But, anyway back to business. I can’t believe all that happened, even for me it’s a lot to take in,” I said feeling just a bit sad that I hadn’t been there to help and witness all of it. “I can’t believe i missed…” I couldn’t find the right words to finish my sentence.
“I know it may be a little hard to handle Dan but all will be well. Twilight took a little time to get used to her new position and it—”Celestia started to comfort me.
“What? I’m not lost about Twilight becoming an Alicorn I get that. What I’m talking about was that I MISSED TRIXIE’S SECOND APPEARANCE!!!” I shouted dumbfounding most of the ponies in the room.
It took a second for anypony to say anything but shortly after Luna managed to ask “Um, Dan I think we are going to need a little explanation for that,”
“Well, I mean I know Twilight would basically be alright, there were a couple of close calls there but I knew that she was always going to do good things. But, Tixie coming back to ponyville ...it’s like a comet that only comes every eighty something years, it’s a rare occurrence that you shouldn’t miss, and I did!”
“And here I was worrying that he was worried about his relationship with my sister,” Shining face hoofed in the embrace of his wife.
“Nah, we’d find a way to make it work,” I told him before a thought popped into my head. “Speaking of which Celestia do you mind if I…?” I gestured toward the outside world.
“Of course, Dan. go i’m sure you have a plenty to do today. We have some things to take care of but i’m sure you’ll see us in Ponyville soon enough,” Her serene smile gave me all the confidence I needed to face the rest of the day.
“Alright then see everybody later i’m sure Pinkie’s going to throw a party for at least three things today,” I walked to the window before I remembered one last thing. “Oh wait.. Cadence did you remember what I asked of you way back when?”
Cadence seemed puzzled for a second before the realization hit her. “Oh, yes I did that forever ago, and have been waiting. Are you going to do ‘that’ today?” She asked smiling like a school filly.
“Maybe if everything goes right… And with Faust playing the role of Karma it should go that way….hopefully. Well If you can bring it to Ponyville along with a pair of ear plugs. Alright for real this time, see everypony later!” I said goodbye and lept out the window and started flying on my way to Ponyville.
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I watched Dan leave, his magical flames leaving a trail behind him as he headed back to the he now called home. I wanted to ask him more questions though, Even though I had known her for so very long, Mother’s actions could still sometimes surprise me. Dan was now a small vessel for mothers power and I could feel it coming off of him, More specifically from the point on his chest where he was impaled. In time I would look into it, but despite the small trouble with Alpha squad today was turning into a good and happy day.
With a slam the doors burst open and I turned in time to see a pony I had been waiting for walk in, he wore a sharp tasteful grey suit with a matching tie tucked into the jacket. He also had a matching fedora which was covering his well combed brown mane. Together with his sky blue eyes gave him a look of confidence, coolness, and just a hint of unpredictability. All standard for a criminal I personally hired.
“Ah Care Free, I was going to call for you in a minute, the guards of Alpha Squad are a little upset about what has happened in the past few days.".
“Well I think I might be able to point their aggression in the right direction. Oh, and good morning everyone” he strode into the room, walking past the guard and Shining And and Cadence He stopped to give me a small salute and then side stepped over to Luna before swiftly and gracefully picking up her hoof and kissing it causing a slight blush on Luna’s face. I could see the guards shudder nervously and a few look at Private Red Star who gave Care Free a glare that looked like it could bore a hole through a wall. I’ve known that few ponies had some type of feelings for my sister, maybe this was something to look into later on.
“Um Princess?” Shining armor broke my train of thought stepping in front of his wife, incase Care decided to give her the same treatment. “May I ask who is this stallion, you seem to know him well and I don’t recall seeing someone like him in the guard?”
“Well a short answer for that was I was never in the guard, i’m pretty sure you don’t take applications from people who have a criminal record,” Care Free said nonchalantly, and with that all the guards went on edge. “I take it I should of let you explain first princess?” he said without a care that nine guards were thinking about tackling him to the ground.
“That’s probably would have been a good idea. Everyone you may stand down, while it’s true the Care Free was a criminal; a confidence stallion as it were. He no longer partakes in that lifestyle except for when I am in need of his services and his particular skill. I had personally been keeping tabs on him for awhile before I approached him,” I told my little ponies.
“Right in the middle of a job no less,” Neal interrupted.
“ I convinced him to give up that life in exchange for a job where he gets to help, while still being able to utilize and refine his skills. I know some of you may have concerns about his loyalties and we can and shall discuss it at a later date, but right now we have more important things to deal with. Neal, i’m assuming you’ve found the missing paperwork?”
“Oh Princess you wound me if you think i’ve only found that,” true to his nature he mocked hurt while playing the pronoun game, he was good but a longer life meant I was better, a slight raise of my eyebrow and he cut the act and got to the chase. “I found the paperwork, managed to track down the ‘guard’ who lost it, the ‘guard’ who gave it to him, and even better I found the one who hired them,” he pulled a small scroll out of his jacket pocket. I levitated it from his grasp and unfurled it to read
“Thank You Neal, i’m grateful for your help as always and—” I stopped mid sentence as I came to the last name on the list, the one who had put my guards in this position, and it was one I did not expect to see and also hoped it wouldn’t. I could feel the smile slip from my face as I addressed the guards. “Alpha as of now you are under my personal assignment, you will be returning to ponyville immediately along with me to take any action I deem necessary will you please go get my chariot ready, Luna, Cadence, Shining Armor...I think you’re going to want to see this,” I floated the paper over for my sister to see as I looked out the window in the direction Dan had left only a few minutes ago.
“Looks like we’re going to be going to Ponyville sooner than i had thought…”
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I made good time flying to Ponyville, it only took me around thirty minutes and I was near the outskirts of the town. It gave me a chance to think about my entrance and if I should go simple or extravagant. Before I could think more about it thought a loud beeping came from my back pocket. After landing I pulled out my guide that Faust had given me and flipped it open. The screen lit up and I found a message left in it from Faust.
“Dear Dan. Hopefully if I did this right you should be reading this message on the outskirts of Ponyville. If you haven’t yet decided on a returning entrance than I would like to offer my suggestion. Your guide book while having a vast amount of knowledge and facts can still be considered incomplete due to the multiplying nature of the multiverse. So I saw fit to include a learning function in it that you can put info and and also take out, and to be specific in how this works with you going back to Ponyville before you left my ‘home’ if you will, I left a spell for you that I think will help you achieve the best possible outcome for you. If you want, just touch your palm to the screen and hold it and the spell will transfer to you, after that it’ll become second nature to you and you can use it however you want. And remember don’t mess up with those four words okay? Goodbye Dan talk to you soon,” I read her message out loud to myself. For a deity with unlimited power who can sometimes act like an airhead, she was very thoughtful.
“Well...what do I have to lose?” I said following the instructions. placing my hand on the screen i could feel it screen my hand and then the screen turned white and the light coming out from it created a blinding flash. For a few seconds I couldn’t see and then my vision was back to normal. I hadn’t felt a change so I was confused when the screen said “spell activated” and “spell transferred”.
“Jarvis you there buddy” I asked my armor AI who I hadn’t talked to in awhile.
“Yes sir, may I say it is good to talk to you again, I went offline during the battle, and then found my self fully repaired,” The monotone voice chirped back from my earpiece.
“How much of the situation are you up to date?” i asked.
“From you debriefing and explanation with Ms. Faust all the way up till now and your apparent transformation,”
“What do you mean my apparent tranformatioooohhh,” I started to ask as I took the earpiece out but figured it out when I looked at the earpiece and the hoof now holding it. “So I guess I instantaneously got turned into a pony...and by the coloring i’m exactly like the one from my dream,”
“I do not know the contents of your dreams sir, but I can tell you that your transformation was not instantaneous it only appeared and felt that way to you. I have been communicating with your new guidebook, and she is able to record video of her surroundings, and was able to with your transformation. Would you like to see it sir?” Jarvis asked as I gave a curious glance at myself in the reflective surface of the book, looking over my pony features.
“So you spoke to ‘her’ huh?” I asked running a hoof through my hair to make it look nice. “Is she nice? Did you two hit it off well?” I joked with my AI companion.
“I don’t quite get what you mean sir? May I ask what you are implying?” I got an expected response from him.
“I’ll tell you when you’re older Jarvis, but for today we have some very important things to do. And hopefully it’ll go...a little bit better than horrible. Once more unto the breach, dear friend”
“Once more, sir. William Shakespeare’s Henry VIII,”
“Very good Jarvis, maybe she—” I put the guide into the saddlebags that my clothes had turned into “ will also end up being as good as you,” I said before breaking into a small trot and heading towards town. “By the way I never saw, What’s my Cutie Mark?”
“It appears to be a partially opened book with a quill; representing Lady Faust I assume, tucked into the book as well as a greek symbol on the cover,”
“Which one?”
“Nu, sir,”
“And i’m assuming that it has something to do with my new...position?”
“If you look into some of it’s symbology I believe so sir would you like me to tell you sir?”
“Yeah fill me in we got a while before we get into town,”
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The walk back into Ponyville was nice. It reminded me of the saying, the more things change the more they stay the same. This town had been through so much and yet everyday when some kind of disaster wasn’t happening the ponies went about their normal lives, never in fear of what could come next. I took a leisurely stroll through the middle of the town, not to enjoy all the sights but to keep an eye out for my friends. I wasn’t still sure how my approach was going to go but the one thing I didn’t want to do was bump into anyone that would recognize my mannerisms, voice, and general me-ness. But, in the middle of my thinking I bumped into somepony, and I could tell because of the softness of what I bumped into
“Oof,” was the only thing I said as I landed on my haunches. Looking up in a hurry I came face to face with possibly the one pony out of all my friends I knew could jeopardize my surprise, Lyra Heartstrings.
“Oh sorry there, I don’t think I was watching where I was going,” She was the first to respond.
“Oh that’s no—” was all I got before I swallowed too fast and broke into a coughing fit.
“Are you ok?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I replied my voice sounding a little raspy. “Something just went down the wrong tube. Sorry for bumping into you,” I apologized but paused when I noticed she was staring intently at me.
“Have we ever met...you seem awfully—”
“Oh, Lyra!” another voice I knew called in a sing song tone as Bon Bon came around a corner of a building. I can’t wait for lu—” she paused as she she Lyra and I, her emotions changing rapidly on her face before coming back to the cheery tone she had before she saw us. “Oh, who’s this a friend of yours?”
“OH, no Bon, I just bumped into him. Although he seems familiar, I can’t quite put my hoof on it but I feel like i’ve met you before mister?” She asked causing me to blurt out the quickest thing I could for a name.
“Page! Next Page! Yeah that’s me, oh and I have been to Ponyville before, I came through a couple months back, had a great time. Couldn’t stay though due to my job,” I made up a quick backstory on the fly hoping it would tie them over and let me be on my way.
“Oh wow that sounds interesting, i’m glad you came back. It’s nice when ponies come back to get more acquainted with our little town. Do you have any plans at the moment mister Page?” Lyra asked a question after a slight praising of the town.
“Um...no I don’t at the moment but—” I tried to say something before I was interrupted.
“Well Me and my friend Bon Bon are meeting up with some of our friends for lunch, and I would like it if you would join us as my apology,” she said cheering and preemptively put her hoof in Bon Bon’s mouth before she had a chance to say anything.
“Um well it would be impolite of me to refuse, so I guess I can only accept you offer,” was the only answer I could come up with.
“That great! Here we’ll show you where the restaurant is!” She quickly removed her hoof from Bon Bon’s mouth and wrapped her arm around her leading her away allowing me to follow behind. While following them I noticed they were trying to talk secretly, but unfortunately for them, neither one of them seemed to be keen on keeping their voices to low.
“Lyra what are you doing! Trying to recruit a pony who hasn’t been here in forever, what are you some kind of crazy cult leader?!?” Bon Bon snarled slightly, but her words didn’t even cause Lyra to flinch.
“No. But we need some kind of help. First he shows up. Then none of the others get to see her because of his cronies. Then the guard is recalled to Canterlot for some reason. heck Bon I wouldn’t be surprised if he was intercepting any kind of help message we try to send out. So i’m sorry if i’m resorting to crazy measure here!” From where I was standing Lyra sounded angry but managed to keep her smile. When they paused in their conversation to look back at me I quickly averted my eyes and tried to look like I was taking in the sights of the town and smiling like an idiot.
A few minutes of walking later and we came to the restaurant in the main square. As it turned out Vinyl and Octavia were already waiting for Lyra and Bon Bon. Before they had a chance to question me Lyra filled them in on how we bumped into each other, And for some reason that I guess had to do with the little conversation Lyra and Bon Bon had on the way here they accepted that and had no specific questions. So far I don’t think any of them had any kind of clue about me, as the waiter came out and took our orders, I waited for him to go inside before I asked a question.
“Last time I was here I had a great time...but it feels like somethings changed. Has something changed in town?” I decided on being blunt, I watched as all of their eyes met, as if trying to decide what to say.
“I’m sorry Page but...we’re kinda in the need of some help,” Lyra apologized as I took a glance at SugarCube Corner, it seemed like something was happening within. “Well it all started when—” she started to explain but stopped when the doors to SugarCube Corner slammed open making a noise so loud that I think you could have heard it at Applejack’s farm.
“THAT’S IT I HAVE IT UP TO HERE!” a rainbow blur flew out of the building along with the loud comment. Rainbow hovered about ten feet off the ground a few feet outside of Sugarcube corner, her glare aimed towards one side of town, and from where I could see her I could only guess of one place she was looking at; the library.
“Now Rainbow let’s just calm down a minute there,” Applejack was the first to follow Rainbow outside followed by Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. “We just have to be patient. I’m sure Pa and the rest of the squad have already gotten everything figured and are on their way back right now. We just have to be patient and—”
“Patient? We’ve been patient Applejack, and all the mean while that scheming , conniving, egotistical plot head has stolen our friend from us because of his completely messed up views, and who knows what he’s telling her or what he’s doing to her! I’m sick of being patient! I don’t care what happens this ends today!” Dash shouted and then took off before anypony could stop her.
I watched as the other four took after her and sat there thinking about the words I overheard. It took me less than a minute to think of my plan of action, I got up from where I was sitting and immediately started to head towards the library.
“Sorry Lyra and everyone but i’m going to have to decline helping you. I’m afraid I have some other business to attend to...at the library,” I growled as I marched towards my home, trying my hardest to not sink my hoof into the ground.
________________________________________________________________________
All four of us at the table watched Page walk off, after he angrily growled “at the library”. I wasn’t sure how to feel, I was going to ask him for help but his reaction after seeing the commotion the elements caused a change in him and for some reason I couldn’t quite get the feeling that I had met him before.
“Well that was interesting. Do you think the ‘business’ he’s got coincides with our business?” Vinyl broke the silence between the four of us before earning a quick slap to the back of the head from Octavia.
“I would think his demeanor would be an obvious answer Vinyl but i don’t think that’s the question we should be asking. Does anypony else feel that familiar kind of energy when he was here? I feel like we’ve met him before but I can’t recall ever seeing him in town. But, his posture, his words, and his actions seem to remind me of somepony,” Octavia said causing all to think of all the ponies and other creatures we’ve come into contact with. After a minute a look of realization dawned on Bon Bon’s face.
“Girls...this may only be a hunch but I think we need to go get everybody,”
“Uh Bon, what do you mean by that?” I asked having no clue as to what she meant.
“We need to split up and get everybody and head over to the library. I need you girls to trust me on this, go and get everypony you can and head to the library ok?” Vinyl, Octavia, and I gave each other a glance. Bon Bon could be bossy sometimes but this was a bit different from all the other times. With a quick nod both Vinyl and Octavia left and took of in different directions. Deciding to trust her I went on my way as well not having a good insight as to what Bon Bon was planning, but sometimes you just gotta trust your friends.
______________________________________________________________________________
I wasn’t far behind Applejack and the rest of the girls when I started to hear the commotion. I stopped behind the corner of a building, around it was my home. A little bit of nervousness washed over me, being so close to being back to normal, or whatever my life considered normal now.
“Alright you idiots out of my way!” Rainbow’s shouting broke me out of little trance. Looking from around the corner I immediately spotted something different and probably the cause of her anger. Stationed all around the Library were varied muscled stallions , all wearing sunglasses. I could tell immediately they weren’t a part of the guard, because none of them wore any armor, and the fact that none of them gave any reverence to the Element of Honesty hovering right in front of them. The face of the on Rainbow was yelling at remained neutral, he didn’t move an inch as he was berated all the while Applejack and the others waited calmly just a few feet behind her.
“I’m sorry but no one is allowed to see either Princess Twilight or Prince Blueblood, his orders.” The Stallion said in a controlled voice. (Eh, girl how you doing?)
“Orders smorders, you’re not from the guard!” Applejack yelled from her position. Her words broke the mask of the stallion, a faint twitch of his muzzle could be seen. “We know that your boss had something to do with my pa’s squad getting sent back, and if any of you had a part in it you’re going to be sorry,” I looked at all the ponies standing around the library, each one of their faces changed slightly at the words of the Element of Honesty.
“Now how about you let us pass before you get in even more trouble,” Rainbow said with a smirk as she started to fly past him. Her smirk quickly turned to shock when when the stallion grabbed her by the tail and pulled her to the ground before throwing her back at her friends, I had to suppress every instinct to jump in and beat the pony into a paste for his what he did. Immediately Rainbow Dash got up and was back in the pony’s face madder than ever. “What the hay was that for you you—” Rainbow was possibly about to release a boat load of profanities when the door to the library finally opened
“What is going on out here? Guards didn’t I tell you to oh?” Blueblood strode out of the library, his guards giving a salute. “OH the riff raff has shown up again. Trying to cling to the princess’s coat tails like peasants are wont to do? How trite of you, but as I have told you before you will not disturb the princess with your petty and moronic attempts to curry favor,” every word that came from his muzzle was nails on a chalkboard; grating annoying and something you stopped by hitting the being responsible.
“We’re her friends you pretentious, pompous, putrid, paltry, prissy, pig-headed, pitiful, platitudinous, priggish, pencil-necked, platy-footed, puffer-faced, pickel-nosed, pinheaded, pockmarked, pussified, pathetic example of a pony!” Rarity let loose a long insult which seemed to upset Blueblood more than being bothered from whatever he was doing inside the library. While the girls seemed to be keeping blueblood distracted I slowly walked out from behind the building, inching forward and trying not to draw attention. “O and I think the only ‘moronic’ one as you put it here is you. NOW PINKIE!” She shouted before a pink blur zipped through the grasps of every “guard” and got inside the library, slamming the door behind her. And within a few seconds before Blueblood could react the balcony doors blew open and Pinkie came out with Twilight sitting atop her back, and for a moment I forgot everything as I finally got a look at her.
She looked taller, her wings giving her a fuller look and her horn longer and slightly pointier than i could remember. But, beyond that she was still the mare I loved, but before i could keep reminiscing Blueblood had to go and start talking again like he was the most powerful pony around.
“You! Pinkone! get away from the Princess and get down from there immediately you are trespassing on public property and—”
“Blueblood?” Twilight interruption silenced him “Why are you trying to do to my friends? What’s this about one of your guards hurting Rainbow Dash? And most importantly. What is this I hear about you having something to do with Alpha Squad being recalled to Canterlot?” For the first time since it started Blueblood’s facial expression finally changed, he was put on the defensive.
“Baseless rumors the lot of it, they are trying to scandalize my image and by proxy yours, now princess will you please step away from the crazy pink pony, it’s for your own good. If you want me to answer your questions I gladly will,” he said sounding like a complete kiss ass. “First off, I was trying to protect your image, these peasants are trying to do nothing more than hang on your coattails so they can have their own small glimpse of fame. As for hurting Ms. Dash, my guard here was just doing his job, Ms. Dash was fully informed that you and I were not to be disturbed, she tried to do otherwise and was removed from the property. And as for The previous guards I assure you I have no idea about what happened with their situation, but my personal squad has been more than perfect in their duties of making sure both of us are protected. So as you see Princess everything is perfectly fine, now if you would—”
“Wow I didn’t realize lying to a princess came so naturally to you?” I finally had enough and stepped up, drawing all the attention to me. I wasn’t going to have a story book picturesque return but I sure was going to have a fun one.
“Excuse me peasant. who are you and what do you mean by lying? I have been nothing but genuine in—” he responded to me which surprised me slightly since I thought he would ignore me for being a pony he’s never seen before.
“What i mean is that none of these ponies are in the Royal Guard,” i said putting myself between him and the guard that hurt Dash and the girls.
“Well of course they’re not in the royal guards, these are my personally hired guards. I only the the best ponies, ones who know how to respect one such as myself,” He casually blurted out the information that could and would get him into trouble. I could have addressed that remark but instead I chose to do something else instead.
“Well that explains a lot,” I said walking up till I was about face to face with the guard that hurt Rainbow Dash. “I mean if you had gotten actual Royal guards they probably would have been stronger than these mercenaries,” I provoked the stallion in front of me who reacted by cocking his hoof back and throwing a punch, just like I wanted.
The flat of his hoof met mine as I blocked the sound echoing as things got a bit quiet. I did have to give a small bit of credit, I had no clue what kind of training these stallions had but they knew when to attack. A few seconds after I blocked the one punch a pegasus flew in and tried taking me out from the side. Only for me to use my other hoof and do the same thing again. Using what grip I could I held the stallion in place, giving each of them a glare to scare them just a bit. Taking a quick glance at my surroundings I noticed a golden glimmer on the horizon, my guess was that Celestia might have found what her nephew was up to and was on her way here, with actual soldiers.
“Oh Blueblood, Blueblood, Blueblood, you really are an idiot. Not just for this,” I made a motion to the two guards who I was holding in place, but for this poorly thought out, constructed, and run sham of a plan. This literally right now had to be the absolute worst thing I have ever seen you do. There have been some doozies but this takes the cake,”
“Um have we met?” Blueblood asked not retorting to the insult I dealt him.
‘Yes but not like this...give me a second,” I said before my magic lit up, my hooves bursting aflame and the little blaze on my forehead. With a few gasps I triggered the transformation spell, and this time it felt weird. MY body glowed slightly as everything turned back into my human body, finger grew out of my hooves, still grasping the hooves of the two stallions. I grew several feet and everything straightened out vertically, and thankfully the saddle bags I had changed back into my clothes.
After it finished I stood there with two ponies now hanging in my grip as a wave of shock went over everyone. I dropped the two ponies who quickly moved away closer to other mercenaries who had all grouped together in fear. I grinned a manic looking smile at Blueblood who tripped over his own hooves and fell backwards over himself as our eyes met. “How bout now Blueblood, remember me?” I said before turning my gaze to the only pony I really wanted to see.
My eyes met hers and she started to tear up. I toned my smile down and gave a soft nod. “It’s really me,” I didn’t yell or shout, I just said it as a fact to the world. my vision clouded a bit as i started to tear up, watching her leap from the balcony and flying at me. She collided with me causing me to take a step back as she buried her face in my neck and her hooves wrapped around my neck. I hugged her back both of us crying a bit. There was a delayed but still audible “Aww” from behind us where the girls now stood, at least two of them with tears in their eyes, one a content smile, the other rolling her eyes at the display, and one bouncing literally bouncing for joy.
“Sorry if i’m a little late, I got sent to Canterlot,”
“It’s fine, you’re right on time,” her grip on me tightened with her words. “So much happened while you were gone, it was weird not having you around for it,”
“I know, Celestia showed me and filled me in. Really wished I could've been there for some of it. But, i’m back now and i’m not planning to go anywhere...except for my new job,” I remembered that my new “position” would have me do some traveling.
“Job what job?” Twilight asked lightening her grip on me so she could give me a look.
“It’s complicated and i’ll explain later, but for now one step at a time, go give your friends a hug i’ll deal with Blueblood,” I told her, having a small staring contest before she relented and went to her friends. “And where do you think you’re going Blueblood,” my gaze drifted back to him, he looked like we wanted to bolt for the hills, but if he so even much as moved I would grab him and slam him into the ground.
“Well..I uh I…” he couldn’t form a coherent sentence, he moved just a bit closer to his group of “guards” who looked like they were trying to put up a brave face knowing that I was their enemy at the moment.
“Actually you’re better off not finishing that statement, because you and your group of friends are about to get their comeuppance,” I said make a motion to look up and I watched with glee as he did and saw Celestia's chariot coming our way. His pupils shrunk to pinpricks as she called out using the Canterlot Royal Voice.
“OH DEAR NEPHEW, WE WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU ABOUT SOMETHING!” her words could probably be heard by everypony in Ponyville. Her chariot touched down and a multitude of ponies came forth. Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Shining Armor, all of Alpha Squad, and a pony in a nice suit he had never seen before. Alpha squad immediately surrounded Blueblood’s guard. I watched as Blueblood tried to scurry away but the golden glow of Celestia’s magic grabbed him and lifted him bringing him before his powerful aunt.
“We’ve found your ‘helpers’ nephew and have all the evidence to declare you guilty for a couple of crimes which will result in many things, one of them being renouncing your title and any power that comes with it,” Celestia tone suggested that her patience was at an end. “It is because the council of my sister that I am going to allow you to explain yourself. There will be punishment but it will be on you to decide how harsh it will be,” she released her magic hold on him, dropping him and having him hit the dirt with a small thud.
He quickly scrambled to his hooves using one to brush himself off, trying to collect himself. “Well you see Auntie, I in all my efforts to make sure that the royalty of Equestria shines as bright as it should came to instruct Princess Twilight in the ways that a royal pony of her stature should act, In order to right ourselves from the fall when Princess Cadenza married a common guard member,” Blueblood said causing Shining to become mad but before Shining could do anything Cadence held her hoof out blocking him and giving him a calm and neutral look. “So I came down here to this low laying, dirty town and set to work. First off I managed to separate her from the common prattle, and her so called friends who are nothing more than fame skirt chasers. I tried to get the guard squad here to cooperate but as usual you’ve instilled him with the thought that they are to protect everypony with the same amount of care when we are the ones who should be first on their mind as the balance of Equestria lies in our hooves,” Every word that came out of his mouth wasn’t helping his case and also made me want to vomit. “So with them obviously not willing to perform the correct duty I had them...replaced, and with my own hired help I started to succeed with helping Princess Twilight learn what it means to be royalty. And it went fine for a time before those five started to try and get in the way. which brings us to today and where it—” he turned and pointed at me while giving a glare, which I was surprised at. “Today once the five mares somehow managed to slip past my security, with the white one in particular using some very vulgar language I might add Auntie, i was going to seize control and right the situation but then he showed up. Posing as a pony now less!” he screeched a last bit, but the information raised a couple of eyebrows as Celestia and Luna now looked at me. I gave a quick shrug and mouthed the words “I’ll explain later” to them.
“He dared to stand in my way of bringing out the best potential of the princess, I can not even comprehend what he might want from her. I can only assume horrible and barbaric things considering he has to sink so low as to shapeshifting to our great race. Ever since he arrived here I knew he would be nothing but trouble, and I was right!” he drew closer one hoof outstretched pointing at me.
“He disrupted the Gala, did damage to my pristine coat when he launched me into that chocolate fountain. Disrespected the honor and tradition of the Royal Guard. And the worse crime of all! He attempted to curry favor with us by ‘courting’ Your most valuable student; courting a member of a different species, a species that’s better than him in his dumb, addle minded, unevolved ways. I am tired of him trying to butt into things to complicated for his small mind.” in his somewhat angered state I think he had forgotten about trying to make himself look better and took all of his attention and aggression and focused it on me; all the while I stood there stock still with one eyebrow raised, anger rising to an exploding point, waiting for the right moment.
"ENOUGH! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! I AM A ROYAL PRINCE! I AM LIKE A GOD YOU, YOU DULL CREATURE! AND I WILL NOT BE BULLIED BY—” I stopped him when I reached forward and grabbed his outstretched hoof. Without hesitating I drew upon my strength, lifted him of the ground and then slammed him into the ground behind me. The force I put into it fractured the ground, kicking up some of the dirt before I brought him back over my head in front of me and then crashing down in front of me creating the same kind of debris. As his limp body bounced I brought him up and around before slamming him into the same spot.This time when he bounced upward I spared him only a moment before i repeated the the action two more times, once in front again and then behind me again before letting go and leaving his limp unmoving body in the small indent in the earth and walking away. towards where Twilight and everyone else had gathered.
“Puny God,” was the only retort I gave smirking slightly as I heard a faint whine coming from behind me.
I stopped in front of Celestia and Luna who were nearest to what I had just done. Celestia was surprised while Luna was trying to hide laughter. “Keep him as a whatever, I don’t care, I think that was enough of a warning and a punishment...although don’t heal him, maybe it’ll give him time to think,” even when I was angry at the pony I still met a bare minimum requirement of being nice. After Celestia gave me a nod and Luna went to try and pry Blueblood out of the earth I walked over to Cadence who floated a small box over to me. Shining saw it and was about to say something when Cadence's Magic covered his mouth and she gave him a glare which told him that if he said anything then he would be sleeping on the royal couch.
Just past her sat the girls and the squad. Applejack was giving her dad a hug, Pinkie Pie and Flintlock were nuzzling each other, and Rainbow Dash and Swift Gale were kissing? I had to stop and do a double take. Yeah, Dash And Swift were locking lips, something I hadn’t guessed. I shook of my surprise, and walked over to Twilight who was smiling.
“I can’t believe you actually did that...and thank you,”she said as I sat down next to her.
“You can’t push someone’s buttons to far and not expect backlash. IT was between that and spanking him but I thought the spanking would have been weirder and not given the right imagery,” she laughed at my joke, a sound I loved hearing.
“Yeah you’re probably right. Still I think it’s pretty high on the list of ridiculous things you’ve done,” She said leaning into my arm, her heat mixing with mine.
“Oh I don’t think it’s going to be the most ridiculous thing I do today though I have one more thing planned,” , I clutched the little box in my fist a bit tighter.
“Oh, what are you going to pull an animal out of a hat?” she joked catching me just slightly off guard but I rebounded in spectacular fashion.
“No but I will say it does involve a question and an answer,” I said pushing her off me so I could get up slightly and onto one knee. I opened my fist and showed her the box. Everything she was doing stopped the minute her eyes locked onto it. Her eyes darted between it and me. I smiled nervously as I opened the box showing the ring inside.
“Twilight Sparkle, it may not exactly be the best, most picturesque, romantic time. But it’s the most me...the most us. And I want it to always be like this. So now time for the question….Will you marry me?”
I don’t know how if I was speaking loud or there was just a lull in everyone’s conversation or if Faust herself made it so, but as soon as I asked everything was quiet and all the attention was on Twilight and I. The only sound being another thud and a pained groan as I would find out later Luna dropped Blueblood with her magic.
I watched as Twilight stared at the ring, her breathing was erratic, her eyes looked steady but if you had looked close enough you could see the tiniest amount of rapid shaking. Her hoff went to her chest, feeling to see if her heart was beating to fast or not at all. We paused there for what seemed like an eternity, using every inch of bravery I had not to back down one inch.
“OH FOR THE LOVE OF FAUST SAY YES!!!”
“LYRA!!!
Two cries broke our stalemate as both of us looked at the source of the yelling. From around the corner of the building I had used for hiding just a little bit ago were all of our friends, a small portion of the population of Ponyville. The only two not looking at us Was lyra whose eyes were closed while she rubbed a newly formed bump on her head and Bon Bon who angrily glared at Lyra.
Before I could say anything Twilight started to laugh, I looked back to her as she looked at me her eyes tearing up. “Well i guess I have to answer now!” she said laughing of how funny the little interruption was. as she stopped her magic reached out and gently took hold of the ring, it floated all the way back and the magic receded leaving the ring on her horn. “I take it as this is a good answer right," she said fully crying now before she lunged at me, her lips connecting with me as everypony around us went crazy. Party supplies rained from the skies and several mares; Rarity being the loudest squealed in joy.
It wasn’t the end to the day, PInkie’s party would see to that, but it was the most ridiculous and most perfect part of it
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Present Day
I sat in a chair a small group of foals sat at my feet, while two specific foals sat on each of my legs. These two had specifically asked and the rest listened carefully to every word I said.
“And that kids… is how I met your mother,”
THE END…
“What?” I had finished my story and reclined back to wait for the sound of littles hooves clapping and applauding but I got nothing, looking down at the two foals sitting on my lap, I saw confused faces instead of awestruck, the same was with the group of foals sitting at my feet.
“Really?” said the filly on my right leg.
“Yeah, what she said,” said the Colt on my left leg.
“What was wrong with that?” I asked.
“Well a multitude of things Dad,” said the filly
“Yeah i mean at the beginning it starts out looking like complete wish fulfillment, and heck there are some weird continuity problems there too. Like why was uncle Spike in Canterlot when you first arrived?” The colt was in sync with his sister.
“Not to mention that some ponies sound out of character.” the filly followed up
“Plus the point of view is weird sometimes,”
“And at times it seems to wordy,”
“And other times its more tell-y than it is showy,” They went back and forth listing problems in my story all the while the foals at my feet were switching gazes between both of them like spectators at a tennis match.
“And worst of all,” this time they spoke in unison working to drive the final point home.
“OK OK i get it it’s not a perfect story!” I interrupted their little tirade.
“Perfect? if you wrote it into a book i think mom would use up all of her red ink proofreading it,” The colt snickered at his own joke.
“Yeah or just burn it and tell you to start over,” his sister joined in both of giggles causing the other kids to laugh as well
“Alright, that’s enough,” I said grabbing them by the napes of their neck so I could place them on the floor. “You asked for a story and I gave you one so you don’t get to criticize...even if you have valid points, my rules. Now anyways it’s your birthday, don’t spend all of your time in here with me when your Aunt Pinkie has a bunch of fun and goodies waiting for you outside,” I magically opened the door letting all the noise and fanfare grab the foals attention. “Go on now get out there and have fun!” I playfully shooed them away causing them to giggle, and ran outside into the festivities, and allowing me to recline and slink down into my chair and sulk for a bit that I basically had just been grammatically beaten by foals.
“I see they took my grammar lessons to heart,” Twilight’s called out as she came down stairs, after finishing some last minute preparations on some gifts.
“Yeah no more of those, at least till they’re out of primary school...which option would you have gone with?” I asked curiously knowing Twilight wouldn’t lie to me.
“Well i wouldn’t burn it,” she responded.
“Thank—”
“In front of you,” she interrupted me to finish her joke, causing my smile to flip upside down faster than a sonic rainboom.
“You…” she giggled at being able to outdo me, it was a challenge she had been getting better at in the years we’ve been together.
“So why did you stop there in the story, there’s a lot more that you could have told,”
“Yeah but I didn’t want to keep them here for years. Plus it’s always good to save a little bit for another time, may teach them a good lesson or may give me time to work on my storytelling,”
“Hmm I guess that true,” she climbed into my lap and gave me a peck on the cheek
“Plus they have plenty of time to listen to my story but they should get out there and start on their own. I can only imagine what they’ll do in their own time. Now enough of thinking about that, there’s cake out there and that story made me hungry, how about you?”
“Yeah checking off all the preparations for this has taken some energy out of me, let’s hope the kids haven’t eaten all of it first though.
“Or Celestia,” I joked earning me a nudge to the ribs. “Just kidding...but seriously, I think in the end...everything is going to be just fine,” I said walking out the door into the fracas but before the noise I heard Twilight yell from inside the library. “Really you’re stealing my lines now?” I laughed and started to run afraid she might blast me, or throw me into the cake, or blast me with cake in her little bit of rage.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Faust sat in her little slice of paradise, leaning back in a reclining beach chair while she floated some fruity drink made inside of a hollowed out fruit within sipping reach. She watched Dan say the line Twilight used at her coronation that he missed, causing his wife to become angry with him it was normal for them and everypony knew it. But, all the meanwhile a small smile spread over her face as she watched the little chase scene play out.
“Everything is going to be just fine huh? Oh they have noooo idea.” she chuckled to herself as she used her power to look ahead to the future of that universe, still smiling at all the fun it would bring.
THE END.