//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: The Worst Hearths Warming Day Ever! // by Mattricole //------------------------------// It wasn’t often Diamond would have her “issue”. It would usually come up once a month and last about a week or two. She would often consider those couple of days to be the worst in her life, each one getting progressively worse. This one was no exception. Nopony likes you. Everypony loves me,” Diamond Tiara growled, trying her best to silence the voice in her head. Everypony left you. It wasn’t working. They’re all out without you, having fun! “Oh, shut up already!” Diamond Tiara yelled out as she covered her ears, tears threatening to spill. What’s wrong, Diamond Tiara? Does the truth hurt? the voice asked with a cackle. Diamond growled as she continued her futile attempts to ignore the voice. Don’t mind him, Diamond-chan! another voice sang in delight, much to Diamond’s annoyance. You’ll always have me! To hold! To love! To kiss! the new voice giggled. ...You’re really creepy, the first voice stated, much to the annoyance of the second. And you’re a big, fat jerk who has to be mean to everypony! I’m not fat, you sexist pig! “And here we go again,” Diamond mumbled as she resigned herself to several hours of bickering between the voices in her head. I really should talk to somepony about this, she thought to herself. Maybe Princess Twilight had a spell that could do something about this problem of hers? You know, DT, a third voice called out, earning her attention. While those two idiots argue, we can have a little bit of fun playing the bongos! “I am not listening to you playing the bongos!” Diamond growled, causing the voice to whimper. B-but I’ve gotten really good at it! No. No, you haven’t, the first voice chuckled. I think she’s gotten better. Where did I put my bongos? No one cares what you think! the first voice said, causing the second voice to cry loudly. Hey! I found my bongos! Stand back and be amazed as I- “I wonder how high my room is from the ground?” Diamond Tiara asked as she opened her window and was immediately pelted by a rock. “MY EYE!” Ah, my ears! No, my love! Not my bongos! “Oops,” Diamond Tiara heard a certain pony squeak. “Oh, that better not be who I think it is,” Diamond Tiara growled as she opened her one good eye, spotting a shaking Scootaloo. “...I am so gonna kill her,” Diamond muttered as she glared at the waving Scootaloo. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to hurt you,” Scootaloo nervously chuckled. “But I’ll make it up to you! Listen!” Scootaloo said as she lifted her banjo. She began slowly strumming her banjo, eliciting a horrible, almost gurgle-like sound from it. Nearby animals began howling in pain. The flowers and plants surrounding Scootaloo withered and died, unable to withstand the horrible onslaught their imaginary ears were listening too. “Aaaargh!” Diamond Tiara screamed as she covered her delicate ears. “It’s like listening to a heavy metal band trying to rap while riding unicycles!” she complained as her ears began bleeding. Stop it! Stop it now! one of the voices in her head begged. I don’t know, it sounds alright to me, another voice said, earning a snort from the former. You’re the masochist-voice, of course you would enjoy it! I’m not the one that constantly tortures our beloved master, you creep! I’m not the one that tries to get her to inflict self pain unto our worthless dirtbag! And here I thought tonight was going to be relatively peaceful, a third voice lamented, causing Diamond Tiara to groan. “Will you three shut up already!” Diamond Tiara yelled, causing Scootaloo to momentarily stop her banjo playing. “...But, I’m the only one here,” Scootaloo replied, looking at her surroundings. The only things she could spot was the dead plants and the dying animals, nothing really out of the ordinary. “I, uh, thought your friends were with you?” “Crap, Sweetie, we’ve been found!” Apple Bloom shouted as she and Sweetie popped out of a nearby bush. “Quick! Whack Scoots on the head!” “Whack who on the head?” Scootaloo asked, before being knocked out with a baseball bat. “Got her! Now she’ll never know we were spying on her!” Sweetie said with a smile as she high hoofed Apple Bloom. The two then carried away the possibly dead Scootaloo, uncaring that Diamond Tiara just witnessed them committing a possible equicide. “...Eh, whatever,” Diamond Tiara mumbled as she closed her bedroom window. “Now, where was I?” Self-loathing. Self-loving! Playing the- oh wait, the stupid pegasus destroyed my bongos… the voice trailed off, as if thinking. Oooh, I know! How about we all sing a song together?! “...Right, leaping out of my bedroom window,” Diamond sighed as the voices once again got into an argument. The next day there were two names in the obituaries. Completely coincidental, given that both Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara were alive and well.