The Most Uncomfortable Date Ever
~~~~~
“I’m just worried about you!” Rarity said again. “Are you sure the dress isn’t too tight? I’m not blind you know; it looks too tight.”
Fluttershy stood on the small platform in the middle of Carousel Boutique, Rarity on one side, mirrors on the others. She wore a flowing, red satin dress with black trim. Rubies and diamonds studded the entire piece, making the light refract in a dazzling display. She felt like a poinsettia in bloom, which would be nice, if she wanted ponies to gawk at her. Frowning at her reflection, Fluttershy slowly turned in a circle. “No, the dress isn’t too tight.”
“Oh, I almost forgot, did you enjoy the book I let you borrow?” Rarity asked playfully. By ‘borrow,’ Rarity meant that she had all but forced Fluttershy to read it by waxing poetic about the author’s abilities and subtly threatening to quiz her about it at a later date. Apparently, it was pop-quiz time.
“Yes, I managed to finish it. It’s in my saddlebag, you can have it back,” Fluttershy said, pointing at her saddlebag, carelessly tossed over the back of Rarity’s red divan.
Rarity looked to the saddlebag, and the whole thing glowed with her magic. A pair of books, along with a half eaten carrot and a set of old, worn horseshoes, floated out. “What did you think of the book? What did you think of the main character, Griffelda?” A small, white paw reached out of Fluttershy’s bag and snapped the half-eaten carrot out of the air before retreating.
“I don’t think I cared for The Invisible Mare, very much,” Fluttershy replied, and instantly regretted it. Rarity scowled. Fluttershy saw the gears turning in Rarity’s head, so she decided to preempt the quiz. “I thought it would be about an invisible mare who acted like a superhero. No, the invisible mare was the villain. I thought the author comparing her to a vicious, predatory griffin was… a little speciest, but it did match with my limited experience.” Fluttershy looked away; she felt like a filly back in grade school giving a book report, one of her most painful memories.
Rarity smiled at Fluttershy’s explanation. “I totally agree, darling. Griffins can be real brutes. What did you think of the twist ending?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I didn’t like it at all. Once Griffelda got caught, she was just a regular mare at the mercy of the townsfolk. Did they really have to buck her to death? I can’t imagine being so cruel…” Fluttershy teared up as her voice cracked.
“There-there Fluttershy!” Rarity said, giving hugs and looks of concern in equal measure. “It’s just a book, pay it no mind.”
“B-but…” Fluttershy sobbed once, “They were so cruel. And Griffelda being an albino didn’t make sense as a twist.”
“Well, if she didn’t have a white coat, the formula wouldn't have worked,” Rarity replied. Still rubbing Fluttershy’s back, she sighed and said, “I thought it was a good analogy to real ponies. It shows how we hide from each other, never revealing our true selves.”
Fluttershy sniffed and wiped a tear away, smearing her make up. “We don’t hide ourselves, do we? I don’t feel like I’m hiding who I am. I’d just prefer it if other ponies didn’t look at me. It makes me nervous.”
Rarity cringed, took up a fresh bit of cloth in her magic, and wiped away the blemishes under Fluttershy’s eye. “I don’t know why you’re scared of being looked at Fluttershy, honestly I don’t. You’re beautiful, talented, kind… all qualities that ponies should admire. You have nothing to be nervous about. Other ponies have much more to be worried about. Unkind ponies in particular, who think nothing of those they might hurt...” Rarity let her words trail off.
The two mares broke apart, Rarity fussing with the dress, Fluttershy trying not to move. “Can we hurry? I going to be late.”
“Nonsense, darling. You’ll be fashionably late, that’s all.” Rarity snapped off the final thread and began removing pins. “Make him wait, I always say.”
Fluttershy’s ears fell. “That seems… mean. Why is everything about dating so… mean?” she asked.
Rarity huffed. “They don’t call it the battle of the sexes for nothing. There! All finished. You look gorgeous!” Rarity exclaimed.
Fluttershy felt silly, overdressed, and a bit light-headed. “Okay, thank you, Rarity. I’ve got to go now, I’m late— fashionably late,” she quickly added. She slung on her delicate saddle bag over her left flank and trotted out.
Once alone, Rarity smiled a devilish grin. “And now to begin operation: ‘Keep Fluttershy Safe from the Player.’ Hmm… I really should come up with a better name.” With a shrug, Rarity idly bucked a wall panel. It flipped around, revealing a black dress, almost a costume. Rarity grinned and said, “Now to don the Mare-Do-Well two point oh!”
~~~~~
“Mare’s first,” Bulk Biceps said, holding the door open for Fluttershy. She trotted inside with a sheepish smile.
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
Bulk Biceps saw another mare trotting up to the busy restaurant, and kept the door open for her as well.
“Thank you.”
“Thanks.”
“Thank you.”
“What a gentlecolt.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
“Thanks big guy.”
“Thanks.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh thank you, young colt. Everypony, look at this kind gentlecolt, holding the door open for an old mare like me! You don’t see these kind of manners anymore in this day and age. Why in my day…”
Bulk Biceps blushed. Holding the door open and letting in a dozen ponies seemed like a nice thing to do, but the old mare who was last in line took her thank-you to an extreme. Nervously, he trotted inside and looked around for Fluttershy, while the old mare continued to go on and on about his measly kindness. He tried his best to ignore her.
The restaurant had class in spades. Right down to the polished oak tables, soft firefly lighting, and chessboard tiles. Every hoof clicked smartly on the floor, and every glass had been polished and cleaned. The other patrons created a soft buzz of conversation, muffled between the occasional area rug and the booths they sat in. Waiters flit between tables, carrying spirits and entrees with exotic scents Biceps couldn’t identify. His eyes spun, until a yellow hoof peeked out from the back and shyly waved at him. He trotted past couples and business mares until he found Fluttershy seated in a corner booth.
“H-Hi!” he stuttered. The booth’s seating ringed a circular table, which caused Biceps to sigh quietly in relief. Now, he didn’t have to ask if he could sit next to Fluttershy; he simply sat and scooted around until he sat next to her. The seating creaked in protest as he settled next to her, his weight causing the bench to sag and Fluttershy slid in his direction. She shied away from him, until she could sit without sliding into his flank. He blushed and looked away.
Fluttershy put both hooves on the table to steady herself until his ‘seat-quake’ ended.“Um, are you hungry?” she asked.
“YEAH! I mean… ah-hem, yeah,” he replied. He blushed again, thinking She’s right there, you don’t need to shout. He cleared his throat and picked up the glass on his place setting. Without thinking, he put it to his lip and tried to gulp the ice cold water… Fluttershy giggled at him, because the waiter had not yet arrived and the glasses were empty. “Ah, heh-heh…” he mumbled, and put the glass down.
“Are you warm? You’re face is all red,” Fluttershy asked. He swallowed and tugged at his necktie.
“I-I’m fine, just fine. Th-that dress is beautiful,” he replied, trying to change the subject.
She glanced away and grimaced for a fraction of a second. “Oh, yes, it’s nice.”
“You don’t like it?” he asked.
Her eyes focused to him. “Wh-what makes you say that?”
“Your face said so. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to,” he answered.
“Um, is it okay to just take off my dress right now? I can hardly breathe in this thing.” Fluttershy winced.
He nodded. “YEAH! Uh… y-yeah, just take it off. You shouldn’t have to hurt yourself to make other ponies happy.”
She leaned forward until her chest hit the edge of the table and exposed her back. She twisted her head, as if she tried to look at her own wings. “Um…”
“I’ve got it,” he said. Pinching the zipper just below the nape of her neck with his teeth, he unzipped the dress down between her wings and stopped just above her flank. He did not glance down the crevice in back of her dress, following the lines to her tail. He did not watch in awe as her wings unfurled out of the dress like sails. Nor could he feel her physical softness or warmth radiating off of her in waves. Nope, everything is just fine here in denial-land.
Gasp! Bulk Biceps looked up. He’d heard a gasp, but nopony seemed to be paying attention to him or Fluttershy. The couple in the next booth chattered away, oblivious. The single mare in the booth across the way hid behind a menu. He saw only her white hoof and a purple tuft of mane behind a white horn.
He shrugged and looked back to his date. Fluttershy sighed, and the dress flopped over his face. He pulled it away, folded it, and looked at her again. He swallowed. Her mane tumbled out of the dress, giving her a messy look, which he enjoyed immensely. She rubbed her hooves together. “Oh, my hooves are so sore from all the trotting around I did today.”
He frowned and asked, “That sounds terrible. Do you have any horseshoes?”
“I do, but I shouldn’t wear them. They’ll clash with the dress,” she replied. She sighed and looked down, studying the grains in the table.
“But… you’re not wearing a dress anymore, so why not wear the shoes you want?” Biceps asked.
“Um… well… I…” Fluttershy’s eyes darted left and right. Blushing, she glanced at her saddle bag, sitting between them like a cushion.
“They’re in here?” Biceps asked, unbuttoning her saddlebag. She let out a tiny gasp and watched him root through her personal effects. It felt… well... personal. She watched him as he picked out her old, worn shoes. He held them in his right forehoof, looking between her and the shoes with a stupid grin on his face. She reached out to take them—
“I can do it!” he said with sudden enthusiasm. Fluttershy tried to pull her hoof back, when he caught her at the pastern. He slipped one of the shoes on before she could say anything. He released her, and the shod hoof retreated to her barrel.
“Um…” she looked down at her now shod hoof and froze.
“I can’t put the other one on until you give me your hoof,” he said casually. She looked up. The stupid grin hadn’t moved. She gingerly offered her other forehoof. After a moment, she looked at her forehooves and smiled. The shoes fit like old leather. She closed her eyes and sighed. A moment later, she nearly jumped out of her seat, her eyes wide.
gasp!
A muffled gasp sounded from both Fluttershy, and from behind the menu held in the booth across from her. She couldn’t fly out of her seat, because her left hind foreleg was locked in place. Wildly, she looked around for Bulk Biceps, and couldn’t see him. With a glance under the table, she saw his mass hidden in shadow behind the tablecloth. “Uh… um… it isn’t… you don’t have to… oh!” She twitched once as heat rose to her cheeks, and her breath hitched in her throat. He slipped the shoe on, his hoof going up her leg, perhaps just a bit further than necessary to do the job.
Perhaps… maybe… possibly… nahh... it was just her imagination.
Her hoof dropped to the floor with a dull thud on the carpet, heavier now than a moment ago. Her other hind hoof rose into the air before Fluttershy could react, then he caught it in his grip.
Under the table, Bulk Biceps smirked. She’d raised her hoof for him without asking. That was a good sign, right? He didn’t enjoy touching her, nor did his heart skip in his chest as he did so. He most certainly wasn’t tempted to look up her legs to see the more private parts of her. And he most certainly didn’t notice when a white bunny rabbit hopped out of the saddle bag on the seat at his eye level. He didn’t watch with mild alarm as that rabbit spat out the remains of a carrot, twitched his nose, and rocked off out from under the table and towards the kitchen.
Denial-land was full of sunshine and rainbows today.
“Angel!” Fluttershy cried, as she watched from the wrong side of the table. Her pet rabbit darted, unnoticed, between the legs of a waiter and into the swinging doors of the kitchen.
THUNK!
“Oh-my!” Fluttershy gasped out as the table jumped.
“Ow…” Bulk Biceps mumbled. Based on the force of the blow, and the way the table jumped, Fluttershy assumed he had a concussion. “I’ll get your bunny for you!” he said, as he crawled out from the other side of the table. He stood with his mane mussed from the blow, but otherwise he looked unharmed.
“Oh, that’s alright. You don’t have… too…” her reply was lost on him. He had already darted off in the direction of the kitchen.
“This is intolerable!”
Fluttershy yelped as Rarity slid into the seat on the other side. “Rarity? What are you doing here?” she asked.
Rarity appeared well dressed, even by her standards. She wore a clingy black dress with a plunging V cutout on the back, to better show off her mane and tail. It even had diamonds sewn into it, making the hemline sparkle. Her hair looked like a young mare’s, ready for prom night, and her eyeshadow appeared deeper than usual. “I’m here for you, despite what it might look like. I’ve been concerned about this… stallion...” she said delicately, “...and I believe my guest will show you exactly what kind of pony he is.”
Fluttershy’s ears fell. Her eyes darted left and right, searching for an escape hatch. “Guest? What are you talking about? Rarity, you’re not supposed to be here,” Fluttershy whined.
“Nonsense,” Rarity replied. “This is a public establishment; anypony can just waltz right in… if they have a reservation of course!” Rarity tittered. Fluttershy shook her head, and rolled her eyes.
“Rarity, this is a terrible time. Angel is missing, and I’d like to spend some time alone with Bulk Biceps,” Fluttershy said. She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked away, blushing furiously at her careless words.
Rarity gasped for the third time this evening. “Fluttershy, I’m hurt. I’m your friend! One of your closest, most special friends—”
“Ah, it’s so nice to see couples such as yourself! I apologize for the wait, we’re a bit short staffed tonight.” A chocolate-colored earth pony stallion with a thin moustache and a smart, black vest stood on the other side of the table and smiled at them. “I assure you, I’ll do everything in my power to make your evening enjoyable. Can I get you anything to start? Water? Tea? Spirits? Appetizers?”
Fluttershy stared, open-mouthed at the waiter. Rarity recovered much faster and replied, “I’m not dating her. We need water. Yes, ice-water. Something to cool the blood. Four glasses please.” The waiter nodded, but before he could leave, Rarity continued. “And bring me the wine list. I suspect somepony will be drinking before the night is over.”
The waiter smiled and gave a short bow. “My apologies; I misunderstood the situation. This was billed as a couples table, and I just assumed… Nevermind, I’ll get you everything you require,” he said as he hurried off.
Rarity smiled at his retreating form. Fluttershy groaned and looked down. “What’s wrong, darling?” Rarity asked.
“This night isn’t going quite how I imagined it.”
“It rarely does,” Rarity said, her voice forlorn. She put her hoof around Fluttershy and held her close. “I’m here for you, when everything comes crashing down. I want you to remember that.”
Fluttershy looked at Rarity. “I don’t know what you mean. Who’s your guest? Why do you hate Bulk Biceps so much?”
Rarity sighed. “Just trust me, Fluttershy. Once Spike returns with the pony in question, you’ll understand exactly what kind of pony Bulk Biceps really is. I Pinkie Pie Promise,” she said, making the required motions.
“Ah-hem. Is this yours?” Fluttershy and Rarity looked up. The waiter stood on the other side of the table, next to Bulk Biceps, looking cross. Biceps had Angel in his mouth, who had a fresh carrot in his mouth. “I’ll just add the carrot to your tab. Please stay out of the kitchen, guests aren’t allowed in there,” he said, glaring at Angel. He set down four glasses of water, and four menus, then smiled once more before he left.
Bulk Biceps stood like a giant, obedient puppy dog, waiting for a treat. Angel squirmed out of his mouth and landed on the table. He darted to Fluttershy and climbed her like a big, yellow mountain. He nested in the pink snow on top. “Oh, thank you Mr. Biceps for finding Angel. He can be hoofful sometimes.”
Biceps nodded with a big, stupid grin plastered on his face. “No problem! Say, who’s your friend here? I’ve seen her hanging around with you before, maybe you should introduce us?”
Rarity sniffed and lifted her nose into the air. “I may be introduced to you, but you do not need to be introduced to me. I’m well aware of who you are, Mr. Biceps.” Rarity glanced at Fluttershy, who blushed and shrank in her seat. Rarity snorted. “You may call me Lady Rarity,” she said simply.
She coolly offered her hoof. A moment passed in silence before the light went off in Bicep’s head. He took her hoof and kissed it. “You look beautiful, Lady Rarity!” he almost shouted. His red eyes stared at her, his expression dopey.
“Beautiful? Do you say that to many mares?” Rarity asked. Her voice and expression were as cool as the ice-water she asked for and still didn't have.
“Only the mares I care about!” he barked. Calm down, dude! You don’t need to shout! There’s nothing to be nervous about, he thought.
“Uh-huh,” Rarity intoned. “Oh look, our guest has finally arrived!” she said, pointing to the front door.
Spike entered first, leading a white mare with electric blue hair. She wore rose-tinted glasses, and sported a pair of beamed eighth notes for a cutie mark.The waiter made a detour and intercepted the pair of them. He spoke, to the mare in particular. They replied, animated for a few moments. The waiter pointed to the table in the back and Fluttershy shrank under his gaze. Rarity waved, her toothy smile the only one at the table.
“There they are,” Spike said as he approached. “I found her just like you asked, Rarity. I had to help her set up some sound equipment first, but I got the job done.” He waddled past Bulk Biceps with a sideways glance and under the table without bumping his head. He hopped up onto the seat next to Rarity. He plopped himself down, his eyes level with the table. “Um… does anypony have a cushion or something?” he asked.
Rarity’s brow went flat as she looked at Spike. Her attention didn’t linger; Bulk Biceps went left, and the new mare went right. She tracked the two of them with a dour expression. Once they settled into their seats, the seating ended up cramped. The table was set up for a group of four. Starting on the left, Bulk Biceps took up the end seat, his girth consuming copious amounts of cushion. Next to him, Fluttershy sat, looking down, red-faced. Spike squeezed in the middle between her and Rarity. Last, but not least, the new mare sat on the right end. Only a cozy opening allowed the waiter to slide in between them, his grin ecstatic. “Is everypony having a good night?” he asked.
“Fine,” Bulk Biceps said, his voice small.
“Oh, yes, everything is just… fine,” Fluttershy continued.
“This place is swanky. Don’t you think, Rarity?” Spike asked, his brows bouncing, trying to get Rarity’s attention.
“I’m fine,” Rarity said, staring at Bulk Biceps. He looked as miserable as she expected.
“I’m great! Also, I have no idea what I’m doing here, but that’s par for the course,” the new mare said. “Although, things look like they’re gonna get interesting,” she said, eyeing Rarity from behind her shades.
“Wonderful,” the waiter said, oblivious. “Can I start you off with some drinks?”
The silence from the table hung heavy for several moments. No pony seemed to want to say anything. “Can I get some mineral water?” Spike asked.
The waiter sighed. “One more water, coming up.” He trotted away, mumbling, “cheap-skates.”
Once he left, Spike turned to Rarity and smiled. “Isn’t this nice and romantic, Lady Rarity.”
“It most certainly is,” Rarity said, staring at Bulk Biceps. “I’d say there’s plenty of… ‘romance’ in the air. Why don’t you introduce us to your friend, Mr. Biceps. She is a special friend of yours, yes?”
Bulk Biceps looked at Rarity in the eye for the first time tonight and swallowed. “Uh… yeah, I guess she is. She’s a very special pony to me.” He cleared his throat. “This here is Vinyl Scratch,” he said, gesturing across the short gap in the seats to the white mare sitting across from him.
Fluttershy looked up, watching the conversation between the others. “I didn’t expect to see you so soon, big guy,” Vinyl said with a toothy grin. “How’s your date going?”
Fluttershy gasped. “This is… um… we were just...”
“Relax sweetcheeks, a pretty mare like you should have the world in her hooves. He’s a great stallion, you should get to know him better,” Vinyl said, pointing at Bulk Biceps. Her words did little to calm Fluttershy. In fact, ‘sweetcheeks’ put blush onto her face.
“I have no idea what’s going on,” Bulk Biceps nearly shouted. “Can you help me out here, beautiful?”
Rarity’s eyes went wide. Biceps asked Vinyl the question, and called Vinyl beautiful, not Fluttershy. With a smirk, Rarity asked, “I think I can explain what’s going on. The special relationship between the two of you is obvious. Mr. Biceps, why don’t you give her a kiss? Show us all how special you think she is,” Rarity said, gesturing to the other two white ponies.
“Uh… well… that’s kinda private,” he said, stumbling over his words. Fluttershy looked on, her mouth agape.
Spike grinned. “Are you in a kissing mood, Rarity?” he asked hopefully.
“I’d like to see a kiss,” she replied, without breaking eye contact with Bulk Biceps.
He blushed, frozen in place. Vinyl laughed and said, “Ha-ha, you wanna see a kiss? Okay, if it’ll make you happy.” She leaned across the table and planted a chaste kiss on Bicep’s cheek.
Rarity’s left eye twitched. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind. I want to see the truth. You two are perfect for each other, why don’t you leave us and… pursue each other. You two would make a nice couple.” Rarity crossed her forelimbs and waited. Fluttershy looked on, confusion written on her face.
Vinyl settled back into her seat and let out a belly shaking laugh, while Bulk Biceps entire upper body flushed. “Me? Date him? Oh boy, there’s at least two really good reasons not to do that,” she said, laughing again.
“What do you mean?” Rarity asked, looking at Vinyl.
“Well,” Vinyl replied, placing a hoof softly on Rarity’s leg under the tablecloth, “for starters, my barn door doesn’t swing that way.” Rarity cut short a yelp, and now her face burned red as well.
“Ah-ha-ha-ha,” Rarity laughed nervously. “That’s… quite unexpected.”
“Second, if we had foals, they’d be totally messed up! Can you imagine how retarded they’d be?” Vinyl asked Biceps. “Our genetics would make the doctors cringe!” She laughed again.
Rarity regained her composure and cleared her throat. “You mean, a foal from two albinos would be… defective?”
Bulk Biceps suddenly wrapped his forelimbs around himself, as if giving himself a hug. He shuddered once, and squeezed his eyes shut. “Shhh… it’s okay, big guy,” Vinyl said, putting a hoof on his shoulder. “I’ll take care of this."
“I’m not small, I’m not weak,” Biceps mumbled to himself. Fluttershy wrapped a wing around him, and he nuzzled against her, like a foal. Rarity’s eye twitched again; this wasn’t going according to plan.
Vinyl carefully pulled her glasses off, folded them, and set them in front of her. She slowly opened her eyes, revealing red irises. She glared at Rarity, and spoke softly, but her voice held an edge like steel in it. “He isn’t defective. I’m not defective. Our foals won’t be defective. Maybe I can’t see you so well. Maybe my vision is bad because of my genetics. So what, I wear glasses, problem solved. I’ve watched prissy fillies and colts like you pick on him since he was just a yearling. He was small, so what? He was albino, so what? Look at him now, look at how big and strong he’s become. He’s got the biggest heart of anypony I know. And I love him. I love my brother.”
All of the color drained out of Rarity’s face. She appeared whiter than normal. “Ah… I’m sorry… did you say—”
“FURTHERMORE!” Vinyl thundered, cutting her off. “We’ve had to deal with nasty colts and fillies ever since we were little. I’m not about to stop protecting my little brother now. So you can just say you’re sorry, or I’m going to kick your hot flank up and down the wall!”
Rarity and Fluttershy sat, stunned. Biceps cleared his throat. “Sis, you don’t have to defend me anymore. I’m a big stallion now, I’m okay.”
Vinyl looked at him, and blew out a breath. “Okay-okay. I’ve gotta go anyway. The party is supposed to start at mid-night, and I’ve only got a few more hours to set up. Thanks again for letting me stay at your house, bro.” She stood, grinned, and winked at him, then whispered into his ear, “good luck scoring with this one. I wouldn’t mind seeing her walk around your apartment tomorrow!”
Bulk Biceps blushed again, and took a sip of water. Once Vinyl left, he turned to Rarity and asked, “Well, does that clear things up for you?”
“Oh yes, it really does!” Fluttershy chirped. “You were right, Rarity. Your guest really did reveal his character.”
Rarity scooted out of the seat, her mane drenched in sweat. “I-I-I seem to be… unwanted. I’m… so sorry, Mr. Biceps.”
Biceps looked down at the table, as if the wood’s grain held answers. “It’s okay, I’ve dealt with a lot worse as a colt. I forgive you. It’s the right thing to do, anyway. I’m sorry about Vinyl; she can be a little prickly. After all these years of the looks, and the comments, and the stereotypes, she can be a little sensitive about the whole albino thing. Please forgive her.”
Rarity swallowed and bowed her head. “It seems I’ve judged a book by it’s cover. I won’t trouble you anymore. Please, excuse me,” she walked away, dragging her hooves.
“Wait up Rarity!” Spike called, chasing after her. “Say… what did she mean by barn doors swinging the other way?” The two of them left, Fluttershy giggling behind a hoof at the conversation Rarity was stuck in now.
“What happened to Vinyl Scratch? Why is she staying with you?” Fluttershy asked.
Biceps turned to her, and his ears fell. “She tried to make it big in Canterlot as a D.J., but she didn’t get too many gigs. She… lost the contract for a big club, her only sponsor, after a new owner bought it. She needed a place to stay to get back on her hooves, so I’m helping her out.”
“Oh, that’s so kind of you,” Fluttershy cooed.
“I guess so. I owe her so much. She wasn’t kidding about defending me as a colt. I got picked on a lot, because I was small.”
“And albino?” Fluttershy asked.
He nodded. “And albino, yeah. I’m lucky, I don’t have the vision problems Vinyl does. Figures she’d be into music, her ears work just fine. It makes dating hard, so… uh… this is pretty special to me.” He frowned and thought, Too much information dude! She’s gonna bolt on you now!
“Oh, that’s terrible. Why does it make dating hard?” she asked innocently.
“Well, being albino is genetic. I guess mares think… you know what, nevermind. I don’t care what they think. It’s a recessive trait, and I happen to like my coat color.” He flexed his ample biceps. “And I love my body.”
Fluttershy giggled, heat rushing to her face. “It is a nice body…” she mumbled, tracing his chest with her eyes. Angel pointed the remains of his carrot at Biceps like a gun and glared at him.
“Five waters,” the waiter said, holding a tray. “Hey, where did everypony go?”
~~~~~
They trotted up the path to Fluttershy’s front door, fireflies scattering around their hooves. “I had a nice evening, Mr. Biceps,” she said with a sigh. “Even if the pre-dinner entertainment was… unusual.”
“Entertainment… that’s one way to put it,” he replied. “I’m… sorry I didn’t tell you about being an albino earlier. I just—”
Fluttershy shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Or at least, it shouldn’t matter. I’m not looking at the pony on the outside, but the pony on the inside,” she said with a grin.
The reached her front door. Here we go, this is it dude. This is as far as you go. You had a nice evening, but she’s gonna close the door and never call. At least you know now, and she’s such a kind mare. She went all the way through with it, smiling at you the whole time.
They stopped at the door, and Fluttershy opened it. She lifted Angel off her back and set him on the other side of the threshold. “I’ll just be a minute, Angel,” she said, as she closed the door on the yawning rabbit.
“Uh… well… I guess this is it,” he said lamely. He cleared his throat and waited. They stood there, under the starlight for a moment, not moving. He drew in a breath and leaned forward. Here goes nothing, he thought. He placed his lips on her cheek and brushed her, like a breeze flitting through a window.
He leaned back, breaking contact. Well, that wasn’t so bad, he thought. He watched her for a reaction. Her eyes looked glassy and lidded, but he couldn’t tell much more in the weak light. “Uh, I guess I’ll see—”
She slammed him in a spin against the door frame with a strength that would put Biceps himself to shame. Too stunned to react, she leapt up like a hungry timberwolf…
And kissed him right on the lips. He couldn’t breathe! He felt like dying, exploding, and falling all at once. It seemed like an eternity, but was only about five seconds. She broke away from him, opened her front door and said, “call me!”
The door slammed shut, and Biceps sank to his flank, unable to stand, his mane disheveled. His heart slamming in his chest, and his body shaking with excitement, he asked aloud, “What in Tartarus just happened?!”
Fluttershy hummed to herself as she settled into bed. The last thing she saw before drifting off was a lily flower, blooming on her nightstand.
FIN