//------------------------------// // The Coming Of O'Malley // Story: The Napoleons: The Confessions & Revelations Of The Greatest Mafia Family // by Bluecatcinema //------------------------------// 'After the birth of Dusty, it seemed like things had finally settled into place. I had found an even balance between being the don and spending time with my family. Sandy had even finally grew accustomed to her life as the wife of a don. She learned Bitalian, took on a new manestyle, and even did some research into our way of business (so she wouldn't be lost whenever our dealings came up over dinner). Our deal with Sergeant Anous held fast, and slowly but surely, we had replenished our depleted ranks. Business was once again booming, and everything was going smoothly. It was like a new golden age had dawned for the Napoleon family. I guess I should've known it was too good to last...' Within the depths of Bitaly's premiere gambling lounge, "The Lucky Filly", Caboose and his brothers (minus Grimoire) were playing poker, and Caboose was proving quite the player. "Full house!" He grinned, slamming his cards on the table. "Pay up, suckers!" The others groaned loudly, as they pushed their chips over to him. "Not again!" Slot yelled. "He's gotta be cheatin'!" Sonny pouted. "The probability of getting so many winning hooves is quite high..." Lars admitted. "Nah, Caboose is too dumb to cheat." Salt shook his head. "Believe or it, it's pure skill." "Of all the things Caboose had to be good at, why did it have to be cards?" Vinny sighed. "You're on a roll tonight, 'Boose." Murray admitted. "Maybe you should, er... quit while you're ahead?" "No way!" Caboose chuckled. "I'm rakin' it in! I got a ton of cash, and I'm rarin' for more!" A nearby mare suddenly stopped in her tracks, having overheard Caboose. She had a flawless peach-colored coat, cream-colored mane, dazzling green eyes, and a Cutie Mark of a bowl of peaches and cream. She sauntered over to the brothers' table, standing right next to Caboose. "Hey there, handsome." She purred. "Hey yourse-" Caboose turned to look at her, and froze up. "-He-he-he.... hubba-hubba." "Well, hello, good-looking." Slot smirked, leanin' in. "Lookin' for a good time?" "Get lost." The mare said nastily, pushing him away, before turning to Caboose. "My name's Peaches Cream. What's yours?" "C-c-c-caboose..." Caboose drooled. "Hi, Caboose." Peaches smiled. "I couldn't help but notice how suave and debonair you are..." "Him?" Lars gaped. "Me?" Caboose gasped. "Oh, yeah." Peaches nodded, toying with Caboose's mane. "I bet you're the kind of stallion who knows how to show a girl a good time." "You'd lose that bet..." Salt said under his breath. "Well, I do like to have fun..." Caboose said nervously. "I'm talking about real fun." Peaches grinned. "Like... in the bedroom." "I-I don't think this story has a high enough rating for that." Caboose gulped. "We'll see about that." Peaches smirked. "Maybe we could talk about it over some drinks." "S-sure!" Caboose stood up. "I'll buy!" "If you insist." Peaches took his hoof. The brothers looked on, flabbergasted, as Caboose and Peaches headed over to the bar. "...What just happened?" Sonny frowned. "I don't believe what I just saw." Vinny gaped. "Caboose got himself... a marefriend?" "Inconceivable..." Lars shook his head in disbelief. 'And so it was that Caboose got his first marefriend. We were all surprised, of course. Caboose never seemed like the "lady's stallion" type, yet somehow, he had gotten an incredibly attractive mare without even trying. I was happy for him at first, as was Sandy and mom, but it soon became clear that something wasn't quite right with Ms Cream, as we venture into a darker side of our family history, in a chapter I call...' Chapter Four: The Coming Of O'Malley A few weeks after they started dating, Caboose returned to the manor just in time for breakfast. Bonnie, Sandy and all the brothers were sat at the dining table. Dusty, currently a few months old, was slamming her hooves into her bowl of pureed apricot, sending the contents flying everywhere. "Hey, guys." He said flatly. "Hey, 'Boose." Murray smiled. "So, how was your latest booty call?" Slot asked. "It was... okay." Caboose shrugged. "Okay?" Grimoire frowned. "Y'know, just... standard dating stuff." Caboose said evasively. "Same old, same old. No big deal." "Honey, what's wrong?" Bonnie asked, concerned. "It's... nothing." Caboose sighed. "Nothing at all." "Come on, Caboose." Lars urged. "We're all family here. You can tell us." "Well, to be honest, making love to Peaches is kinda like making love to a board." Caboose admitted. "She just lies there, completely still, and lets me do all the work. Most of the time, she's the only one getting off." "Weird." Vinny mused. "Usually, hot mares are total experts in the sack." "If you ask me, she oughta start pullin' her own weight." Salt growled. "Yeah." Sonny agreed. "Tell her to start doin' the work herself!" "I don't wanna upset her." Caboose remarked. "I mean, you know how amazing she is. I'm lucky to have gotten a mare like that. Don't wanna push it, ya know?" "Maybe she's just not that... adventurous in bed?" Bonnie suggested. "I don't know." Caboose shook his head, "She seemed so energetic the first few times we did it, but now, she always seems... bored." "That's no shock." Slot smirked, earning him an elbow from Sonny. "Take from a real lady's stallion." Salt grinned. "Sometimes, the action in bed can get a little... dull. Maybe you oughta spice things up a little." "Salt's right." Sonny nodded. "If your lady's getting bored, you've gotta bring some excitement back into things." "I guess I could try that..." Caboose mused. "It's still not fair to Caboose, though." Sandy frowned. "Relationships are about working together, not having one partner doing all the work." "It's no big deal." Caboose shrugged. "Just being with her is good enough for me. She's always hugging and stroking me, and showering me with compliments... totally makes up for the lack of action in bed." "I highly doubt that." Murray frowned. "Yeah. Don't you know that seventy percent of every relationship is physical intimacy?" Salt asked, "If that fails, then what kind of relationship are you having?" He reclined in his chair. "Not a good one, that's what." "I'm not 100% certain on the math, but Salt makes a good point." Lars admitted. "Yeah." Vinny nodded. "If Peaches chose for you to be her coltfriend, you have to make sure she doesn't regret it." "And that's another thing." Slot sneered at Caboose. "What does a hot piece of flank like Peaches see in a... whatever like you?!" "Knock it off, Slot." Grimoire admonished him. "There's a lot about Caboose that a mare could love." "Like what?" Slot spat. "The fact that he's a total doofus?" "Manslaughter Napoleon, you mind your little brother!" Bonnie chimed in. "...Yes, mom." Slot sighed. Even though he was now an adult, he was powerless against her authoritative voice. "That's true, but, no offense, Caboose doesn't exactly have a way with mares." Murray admitted. "And Peaches pretty much made all the moves. She just walked right over to him and started flirting." "Can I help it if I'm a chick magnet?" Caboose shrugged. "In your dreams, pal." Murray snickered. "What's that supposed to mean?" Caboose growled indignantly. "Look, pal, we're just concerned that there might be something off about this whole thing you have going with Peaches." Salt frowned. "Like what?" Caboose asked. "Well, in all probability, a sensationally stunning mare just coming out of nowhere and wanting you to be her coltfriend is more than a little unlikely." Lars admitted. "And making you do all the work in bed?" Sonny added. "That's kinda suspect." "As in 'totally crazy'." Slot sneered. "I think it's wonderful that you finally have a marefriend, Caboose." Bonnie admitted. "But maybe you shouldn't take things at face value." "Seriously guys, quit buttin' in to my romantic lifestyle. I'm happy with Peaches. Doesn't that count for anything?" Caboose pouted. "Of course it does." Sandy agreed. "But you can't blame us for looking out for you. We're family, after all." "Sandy's right, little brother." Grimoire smiled. "Just because I'm the youngest doesn't mean you always have to look out for me." Caboose said indignantly. "Trust me, everything's fine." 'We tried to take Caboose at his word, we really did. But over time, more evidence began to mount up, suggesting that Peaches was far from the perfect marefriend...' One afternoon, a month or so later, the family were all relaxing in the lounge. Dusty was in her crib, and Caboose was playing with her. "Bleuh!" Caboose made a funny face. "Bleuh!" "Funny, 'Boose, funny!" Dusty giggled madly. "You're so good with her, Caboose." Sandy smiled. "What can I say?" Caboose shrugged. "Kids love me! Right, Dusty-wusty?" "Yah!" Dusty gurgled. "That's no big surprise." Slot snorted. "He's like a big kid himself." "And your point is?" Caboose asked. Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Ooh, that'll be Peaches!" Caboose smiled. "I'm taking her to that new restaurant tonight!" "You mean that really expensive one, with all the fancy imported foods?" Sonny asked. "That's the one." Caboose nodded. "Peaches said she'd never eaten at a fancy restaurant before, so I offered to take her." "You sure you have the money for that?" Lars asked. "I mean, just last week, you were telling us about how you bought some solid gold bracelets she asked for." "She said they'd bring out her eyes." Caboose grinned. "And boy, do they ever!" "What about paying for her trip to that super-exclusive spa?" Salt asked. "She needed the treatment." Caboose shrugged. "A face like hers doesn't stay pretty on it's own, you know." "Wait." Sandy frowned. "Has Peaches bought you anything?" "Well, now that you mention it, not really." Caboose shrugged. "But she doesn't have a lot of money herself. Can't really blame her." "You don't say." Sandy muttered. "Don't you think your relationship might be a little... materialistic?" "...I have no idea what that word means." Caboose admitted. "Anyways, I gotta go. Don't wanna keep Peaches waiting." As Caboose raced out of the room, Sandy turned on the brothers. "Why haven't you told him?" Sandy asked. "Told him what?" Grimoire asked. "That Peaches is obviously just using him for his money?" Sandy growled. "You all see it, don't you?" "Well, duh, he's Caboose." Slot snarked. "You think some bombshell like that bimbo would had gone for him when there was Murray and Salt in the same room?" "Knock it off, Slot." Murray glared. "...He does have a point though." "It is pretty obvious." Sonny admitted. "To everypony except Caboose." Salt sighed. "So why don't you tell him?" Sandy scowled. "He has no idea that he's being stringed along, and he's wasting all his money on this girl. Why don't you stop this before he gets hurt?" "He'd never learn if we did." Murray declared. "Yeah, like that time he made an indoor water slide out of the stairs." Vinny added. "If we'd taken him to the hospital after he wiped out, he wouldn't have learned anything." "Or back when he thought he could grow Bits on a money tree." Lars added. "Ludicrous as it was, we had to let him learn the truth for himself." "So you're just going to let live in blissful ignorance, until that Peaches mare tosses him aside?" Sandy spat. "How is that supposed to be 'looking out for him'?" "I know it looks bad, Sandy." Grimoire soothed her. "But Caboose isn't a child. He needs to be given the freedom to make his own mistakes. As much as I may want to, I can't treat like my baby brother forever. I'm sure he'll catch on to Peaches true intentions... eventually." "...Fine." Sandy huffed. "By that way. I just hope Caboose finds out soon. I don't want to see him get hurt." "Neither do I." Grimoire agreed. "But Caboose told us to butt out of his romantic life, and we have to respect that." 'In retrospect, perhaps I should have done something. It may have prevented what came next. But, as the stubborn old stallion that I am, I stuck to my guns. And as it turned out, 'soon' was earlier than any of us thought.' Just over a week later, Grimoire was in the lounge, playing with Dusty. "Who wants the rattle?" Grimoire shook the toy. "Me! Me!" Dusty squealed. Grimoire gave Dusty the rattle, and she started shaking it. "Yay!" She squealed. "Rattle! Rattle!" "That's my girl." Grimoire beamed. Just then, Caboose shambled by the open door. His usual chirpy attitude was gone, replaced by a look of sad vacancy. "Caboose?" Grimoire noticed. "What's wrong?" "N-nothing." Caboose sighed. "I just... need to be alone right now." Caboose rushed beyond the door. "Unca 'Boose... sad?" Dusty asked. "I think so, dear." Grimoire nodded. Grimoire carried Dusty out to the garden, where Sandy was. "Can you take over for a second?" He passed Dusty over to his wife. "Sure." Sandy nodded, before taking note of the look on her husband's face. "What's the matter?" "Caboose." Grimoire said simply. "He just walked by, and he's really not himself." "I think I can guess what's wrong." Sandy said darkly. "I should at least find out for sure." Grimoire declared. Grimoire headed over to Caboose's room. He knocked twice, and, when he received no answer, opened the door, finding Caboose curled up on his bed, staring into space. "Caboose, please." Grimoire walked over him. "Tell me what's wrong." "Nothing's wrong." Caboose replied. "Everything's fine." "Come on, Caboose." Grimoire urged. "You can tell me." "There's nothing to tell." Caboose folded his hooves. "Nothing to report." "Caboose..." Grimoire frowned. "It's... it's..." Caboose lip quivered, and a second later, he started bawling loudly, the facade broken. "It's Peaches!" "Oh no..." Grimoire whispered. In his normal tone, he asked "What happened?" "I... I wanted to surprise her with a fancy new diamond choker, but I got the surprise." Caboose sniffed. "I teleported inside her house, wanting to give her the choker, and I found her with some other stallion, doing it on the bed that I paid for!" "Oh, Caboose..." Grimoire grimaced. "The whole time we were dating, she was with somepony else!" Caboose yelled. "And you know the worst part? She was only with me for my money! She told me I wasn't 'stallion enough' for a mare like her! She was just using me all along! Treating me like a walking bank! She never loved me! Never!" Caboose collapsed into a blubbering mess. "I'm sorry, Caboose." Grimoire patted his brother on the back. "But you know something? If Peaches couldn't see you as anything more than a pile of Bits, then that's her loss. Buck her." "Feels more like my loss." Caboose sniffed. "It'll be okay, Caboose." Grimoire assured him. "You'll get over this. Trust me." 'For the next couple of days, Caboose wandered about the mansion in a trance, barely doing anything. He wouldn't talk with any of us, eat with us... he even stopped playing with Dusty. We were all worried, but none of us could get through to him. Any time we tried talking, he just walked away... it was like he was a shell of his former self... The next after the break-up, the family were all having diner. Caboose, still moping, was poking listlessly at his food. "Come on, 'Boose." Murray urged. "Snap out of it." "That mare isn't worth it anyway." Salt added. "You're better off without her." Caboose kept toying with his food, giving no sign that he'd heard them. "Seriously bro, snap out of it." Vinny declared. "You're not the first stallion to get his heart broken." "Yeah, so quit being a wimp, and suck it up." Slot snarled. Lars elbowed him. "What? Never heard of 'tough love'?" Caboose suddenly got up, and left the room. "Seriously?" Sandy glared at the brothers. "That was the best you could do?" "Counseling isn't exactly our forte, you know." Lars pointed out. "He'll get over it soon enough." Sonny shrugged. Besides, maybe Caboose really does just need some space right now." Bonnie added. "Unbelievable." Sandy shook her head. "So much for family..." "It's not as bad as you think, Sandy." Grimoire assured her. "Take it from me, nothing keeps Caboose down for long." "indeed." Lars agreed. "His happy-go-lucky optimism is one of his enduring, and annoying, qualities." "He'll probably be back to his old self in about a week." Murray added. "Mark my words." However, we were wrong... dead wrong. Everything changed for us that one fateful night...' In the middle of the night, Grimoire was sleeping in bed next to Sandy. Suddenly, the magic mirror on the bedside table started vibrating. Roused from his slumber, Grimoire got out of bed and activated the mirror, with the face of Sergeant Anous appearing in it. "Sergeant?" Grimoire frowned. "What is it?" "Big trouble, Napoleon." Anous declared. "There's a real mess down here, with 'Napoleon' written all over it." "What?" Grimm growled in agitation, as he rubbed his eyes, "Sergeant Anous, if you are going to try and accuse me or my family of something, can you do it in the morning?" "Accuse nothing." Anous growled. "We've got that Caboose kid down here. We caught him wrecking some poor stallion's house." "What?!" Grimoire gasped. "Grim?" Sandy woke up. "What's going on?" "It's Caboose." Grimoire declared. "He just ransacked some guy's house." "No!" Sandy gaped. "Not Caboose!" "Oh, it's definitely him." Anous said firmly. "Unless he has a twin brother you don't know about. He tore the place up in front of the stallion and his marefriend, who was apparently Caboose's ex. Then when we came and picked him, he claimed he was somepony else... 'O'Murphy', or something. Talk about implausible deniability... Now, are you going to come down here and post bail, or am I going to have to bring him the lunch menu?" "I'm coming, hold your horseflies." Grimoire sighed. "So am I." Sandy declared. "Caboose needs all the help he can get right now." Stopping only to wake up Bonnie and ask her to keep an eye on Dusty, Grimoire and Sandy raced down to the police station. As they neared the cells, they saw Peaches Cream and an unknown Unicorn stallion with a beige coat, brown mane, blue eyes (behind glasses) and a Cutie Mark of an open book beside her. The stallion looked shell-shocked, but Peaches just looked annoyed. "You." Sandy scowled. "I hope you're proud of yourself. This is what you get for leading on a stallion as sweet as Caboose." "Sweet, my hoof!" Peaches yelled. "He wrecked Blank Novel's house!" "I've never been so scared in my life!" Blank trembled. "I thought he was going to destroy all my possessions!" "Oh, quit whining, Blank." Peaches growled. "You're as pathetic as he is." "You have no right to be talking down to anypony." Sandy said coldly. "You used Caboose just for his money." "Oh, please!" Peaches sneered. "He should count himself lucky! A mare like me wouldn't even look at a total loser like him otherwise!" "A mare like you?" Sandy growled. "You mean a materialistic wretch who toys with innocent stallion's hearts, just for her own gain?" "Like you can talk." Peaches shot back. "You're just some mare who married into money. How's that any different?" "It's different because I love Grimoire!" Sandy shot back. "I love him for who he is, not how much money he has!" "So you say." Peaches sneered. "But I think we both know the real reason you're with him..." "Why, you-" Sandy pulled back a hoof, ready to strike Peaches, only for Grimoire to grab it. "Let me go, Grim! Somepony needs to teach that floozy a lesson!" "I can't let you do that, Sandy." Grimoire declared. "I don't need another member of my family being locked up, let alone the mother of my child." "But she-" Sandy struggled to free herself. "I know." Grimoire nodded. "And as good as it may feel, beating her up won't help Caboose." "You're right." Sandy stopped her struggles, prompting Grimoire to let go. "This hussy's not worth it anyway." "How dare you!" Peaches yelled. "I don't have to take this from you!" "I'll go and pay Caboose's bail." Grimoire stated, walking away. "I'm not going to stick around here." Peaches huffed. "I'm outta this dump!" The stallion made to follow, but was stopped by Sandy. "Not so fast, mister." She glared. "I'm not going to press charges, I swear!" Blank trembled. "I didn't know Peaches was seeing him! I was as shocked as he was!" "It's not the charges I'm worried about." Sandy snarled. "It's the company you keep." "Pardon?" Blank gulped. "That mule-brained floozy, Peaches Cream." Sandy clarified. "I want you to break up with her, right away. Otherwise, I, being the wife of a mafia don, will use my husband's connections to make life very... unpleasant for you." "Well, I..." Blank said hesitantly. "I know Peaches was pretty rotten to Caboose, but she's always been sweet to me-" "But for how much longer?" Sandy asked. "How long before she pushes you aside, like she did Caboose?" "I..." Blank frowned. "Look, I'm sorry about Caboose, but I can't just dump her. What if I can't find another mare after her?" "Maybe I can sweeten the deal then." Sandy smiled. "How about I give you the home address to an employee of my husband? She's a very lovely and attractive Pegasus mare named Victoria White. She leads a little operation off the coast of South Zebrica, currently single, and honestly, is perfect for you." "South Zebrica?" Blank frowned. "That's a little far for a relationship that might not happen." "Trust me, it will be worth it." Sandy smirked. "Victoria is the sweetest mare I've ever met." "I don't know..." Blank mused. "She's looking for a good stallion." Sandy declared. "She's not about material things, but the soul. And from what I've seen, you could be right up her alley." "Really?" Blank asked. "Of course." Sandy nodded, pulling out a picture of black-coated, white-maned Pegasus mare with yellow eyes and a skull and crossbones Cutie Mark. "You're clearly a nice stallion, and Victoria would just love you. All you have to do is kick Peaches to the kerb." "Wow, she's beautiful." Blank gazed at the picture, entranced. "And I happen to know she has a thing for Unicorns..." Sandy smirked. "So, what do you say?" "Um... okay, sure!" Blank nodded. "I'll get right on it!" Sandy gave Blank the address (and the photo), and, grinning ear to ear, Blank ran out of the precinct to break up with Peaches. At the same time, Grimoire returned, a surly-looking Caboose at his side. "What's he so happy about?" Grimoire asked. "Oh, not much." Sandy grinned. "I just talked him into dumping Peaches, in exchange for giving him the address of that lovely black pegasus from South Zebrica." "Wait, you mean Victoria? The head of the piracy branch of the Empire?" Grimm blanched. "That would be her." Sandy smiled. "You seriously just pimped out one of my members to this guy?" Grimoire asked. "Indeed I did." Sandy smirked, "Better one of our own rather than that bimbo." "...This is why the mafia doesn't hire many mares." Grimoire sighed. "That, and the fact that Salt can't keep it in his pants." "Salt doesn't wear pants." Sandy pointed out. "Exactly!" Grimoire nodded. "That boy is in for a heck of a let-down if that mare shoots him down..." "I doubt it'll go down that way." Sandy smiled. "Victoria's always saying how she'll love having a stallion in her life, and Blank could be just what she's looking for..." 'Just in case you're wondering, Blank Novel and Victoria White eventually got married and had a filly together, but that's not important. Back to our story, and the final bombshell of the night...' As the trio returned to the mansion, Caboose was unusually quiet, and still bore his unnatural grimace. "Why would you do something like that, Caboose?" Grimoire asked. "It's so unlike you..." Caboose smirked widely, but otherwise showed no sign that he's heard Grimoire. "Caboose, are you feeling alright?" Sandy asked. "You haven't said a word." "Oh, that'd be because I'm awestruck by your beauty, hot stuff." Caboose said, in a voice unlike his own. "...Excuse me?" Sandy frowned, taken aback. "Say what?" Grimoire gaped. "Did I stutter?" Caboose smirked at Sandy. "I said you're a total babe. Mmm-mmm. Hard to believe you've actually had a kid..." "Okay, now you're just weirding me out..." Sandy cringed. "Oh, trust me, I've only just begun." Caboose embraced Sandy. "We're gonna get real freaky, you and I..." "That's it!" Grimoire lashed out at Caboose, striking him hard across the face. "What in buck's name is wrong with you?!" "Ow, ow, ow, ow..." Caboose whined, his voice returning, as he glanced tearfully at Grimoire. "What was that for?" "What was-Caboose, you just tried to come on to my wife!" Grimiore roared. "What?! Why would I do that?!" Caboose whimpered. "Caboose, you were just doing it a minute ago!" Sandy frowned, "What's going on with you?" "I... I don't know... my head feels weird... I can't think straight..." Caboose's face however suddenly contorted to a glare as he then instantly slugged Grimoire in the face, knocking him back. "Grim!" Sandy gasped. "What the...?" Grimoire frowned, more shocked by the blow than the force behind it. "Hit me again, and I will rip off your jaw!" Caboose snarled in his darker voice. "Caboose!" Sandy yelled, rushing to Grimoire's side. "What's going on?" "I don't know... Caboose never hits back. Never..." Grimoire's eyes narrowed. "Well, a first time for everything, I guess." Caboose chuckled cockily. "And what's happened to your voice, Caboose?" Sandy asked. "It's not his voice." Caboose hissed. "It's mine. You're not talking to Caboose any more. There's a new stallion on the block." "Just who are you?" Grimiore whispered. The stallion he thought was his brother smiled at him. "The name's O'Malley." He announced. 'And that was when everything changed with Caboose. The split personality calling itself "O'Malley" had arrived, and nothing would ever be the same again. When that little floozy broke Caboose's heart, she not only hurt Caboose... she brought about something that would be the next obstacle that would stand in our way, but more on that later... Until then, dear reader...'