//------------------------------// // Vialed troubles(Rewritten) // Story: The true Psychopath // by The Psychopath //------------------------------// Twilight was told to return to her home by the princesses while they formulated a plan to deal with the incident. The unicorn was devastated by her actions, and, despite Spike’s attempts to help her cope, she couldn’t find it in herself to feel better. It’s by her actions that one of the worst things since Discord had been unleashed onto the world, and she regretted every instant of it. Her friends, however, were less fortunate than her in some way. Applejack, for example, was busy taking a breather from several hours of gathering apples from her orchard. She used this break by resting in the grass and taking a sip of apple juice from her glass while enjoying the cool breeze on her face. She was taken out of her ‘dream’ by her brother screaming and galloping around like crazy. Unable to calm him, the mare took a lasso and tied his legs up from afar, jumping in to catch him properly and try to calm him down. “OW!” Big Mac shouted. “What’s wrong with ye, Big Mac? WHy’re you screamin’ ‘n ‘runnin’ everywhere?” the mare asked. “The apples! Ah was just harvestin’ ‘em ‘n they started ta bite me! They’re still on me!” “They what?” AJ leaned in to see several red bulbs on her brother’s flank, hind legs, and mane. “What in tarnation?” Several of the offending fruit let go of their current prey to jump at the orange mare, but they either missed her or were smashed to mush instead. “Go get the cider machine! It’s the only way ta get ‘em all at an almost instant moment!” she shouted. “B-but it ain’t time yet!” Big Mac protested. “This ain’t the time ta be fightin’ about it!” The stallion ran to the barn, pulling out a massive machine made from wood, cogs, and belts, and a large, open funnel awaited in its back. Further down the field came apples riding quadrupedal apples and carrying apple swords. Big Mac and Applejack both used their strength and enhanced size to crush as many of the apples as they could. Applejack managed to catch several in her lasso and threw them into the funnel of the machine. Machine which  Big Mac hurriedly activated by running on a treadmill parallel to it. War cries came from the house of the Apple family. They originated from Granny Smith and Apple Bloom chasing the fruits out of their home with pots and pans. “That’s how ya smack evil apples, Bloom! Ya pan ‘em, just like a bad husband!” Granny Smith shouted. “You tell ‘em, Granny!” the little filly added. “Granny?” Applejack panted. “Ah gotta say, I was gettin’ overwhelmed here. Thanks fer bringin’ some help.” “Twern’t nothin’, but who’s that feller over there?” Granny smith had spotted a stranger wearing a black tuxedo and sporting a well combed, very thick brown mustache that stretched far past his face. “Hello there!” he shouted. “I heard some commotion coming from your farm and wondered if I could be of any help.” Applejack crushed another rabid apple before answering. “Ah’m sorry, but ah can’t let ya stay here. It’s too dangerous.” “Something about rabid apples attacking you?” Applejack looked at the pony with suspicion. “How do you know about that?” The stallion pulled a blowpipe and blowed bubbles from it.“When one is an inspector, one knows about these things.” “But it just happened right now.” “Then you should play with bubbles. It’s relaxing, it’s fun, AND EVERYPONY LOVES BUBBLES!” A wall of spit drenched the Apples, almost making them vomit in the process, then the stallion blew up a large bubble to bounce on. “BUBBLE SOAP!” The ‘spit’ instantaneously expanded into hundreds upon hundreds of bubbles, engulfing the victims in microseconds. It wasn’t exactly hard to get free from the mass, but Applejack didn’t manage to see Psycho holding a large bubble in front of the exact point of entry for her face. With another pop, the mare reeled back with a yipe, followed by a massive shockwave that threw everypony and the bubbles all over the orchard. Apple Bloom sat up and groaned in pain after a few minutes had passed. “Applejack? Anypony?” she called out. “Y-yeah,” Applejack replied from a bubbly haybale. “Oh…” The filly couldn’t help but snicker when she looked at her sister. “What? What is it?” Applejacked asked. “Trah ta look in a mirror,” Apple Bloom snickered. Recovering from their predicament, both Big Mac and Granny Smith looked around for their relatives, hoping they were unharmed. “What the? Now what’d give you the idear of doing that ta yerself?” Granny yelled at Applejack. “What’re you talking about?!” “Ah didn’t raise ya ta be some kinda fancy city-slicker!” “What are y’all TALKING about?!” “Umm…” Big Mac took a nearby tin bowl that had been thrown about by the explosion and raised it up to his sister’s face. Applejack blinked several times in disbelief, twisting and turning her head to see if what she was seeing was correct. Her face had been covered with beauty make-up and her mane had been spruced up to stay by her sides like a silky sheet.She folded it back into a ponytail, but it undid itself to return to its original form. She even did everything she could to wipe the make-up off her face, but nothing was working. “So you invited that fancy pants to spruce you up like that?” Granny asked. “Ah thought you knew better than that!” “Ah ain’t do nothing so stupid, Granny! Big Mac!” the mare shouted. “Could ya help get this off of mah face? Try gettin’ the soap.” The fancy stallion popped up between Big Mac and Applejack, a smile on his face. “Now presenting: Country Bumpkin products!” “BUMPKIN?!” Applejack was insulted. The stallion became hunched over with his upper teeth disproportionately jutting out his mouth, and a cornpipe blowing bubbles once again. “Y’all ain’t not seen nuffin’ when yer slathered in this ‘ere créme.” He spoke with a varying tone, more akin to a child going through puberty than anything. “AH’M GONNA-!” Applejack attempted to catch the stallion but failed. He jumped on her head and got his own stuck in the ceiling far above. “What a nice floorboard,” he commented. “What’re you even s’posed to be?!” Applejack shouted. “Why, I’m the gingerbread stallion, of course!” he chanted to the Apples. Apple Bloom looked at the colorful pony, then the ceiling, then back again at the pony and repeated this action a few times. “How did ya do--” “A cookie for you!” Psycho shouted. “How in Equestria are ya doin’ that?” Granny Smith asked. “Yer not even a unicorn.” The stallion pulled his neck to the elderly mare and, with suspicious expression, answered her question. “That’s because I ate my vegetables when I was small.” “Huh?!” He handed the filly a cookie shaped just like her, but when both Applejack and Big Mac tried to grab him, a massive gingerbread steam train destroyed the house and threw everypony onto gingerbread mattresses. “BEEP BEEP!” the crazed stallion shouted. The train revved up like a car and chugged away into the distance, its chimney stack and wheels belching out brown, sparkling clouds of cinnamon. “THE FUN TRAIN IS BACK IN TOWN! CHOO CHOO!” He broke down through the fences and rushed to the carrot farm further afield. The Apple family could only watch helplessly while the carrots started dive-bombing the family there with cinnamon bombs. One even climbed the farm and waved a flag shaped like a carrot. “Ah dunno who he is, but ah really, REALLY hate him!” Applejack grumbled. “Ah’m goin’ ta get Twilight.” Pinkie Pie bounced around happily in the streets. She was on the lookout for Crimson Gaze: The mare she knew as one who didn’t like her welcoming. Considering she was a pegasus, the mare decided to use her bizarre flying machine to search for her in the clouds, but to no avail. She decided to go to Twilight’s home for a time while she thought of a way to find Crimson and cheer her up, but then her eyes started twitching again. “Again? But I haven’t even welcome Crimson properly!” she whined. Crimson had used Pinkie’s need to talk to her by leaving her house, tricking the party pony after walking behind a building, and returning to her home as fast as possible. She took this opportunity to talk to her employer now that she was free of any potential impediments. “Yes. I know you were too late. My informant...informed me...of that…” The voice coughed. “I find it unfortunate, but with what I heard, you couldn’t have done anything anyways. I misunderstood AND misunderestimated every angle to this job. Additionally, I am finding difficulties operating under secrecy. Still, if future information is acquired and shown as useful, then I’m certain that you will manage to recruit that stallion for our plans.” “I’m not certain. I saw the destruction that he caused in the city.” Crimson cleared her throat as a distraction for her to think. “Nopony was hurt. At all. I don’t think he could prove an asset to your plans.” “Oh. Psch. He just needs a nudge in the right direction is all, and to do that, you need to learn more about him.” There was a scuffling on the other side, indicating the stallion getting the device phone closer to his ear. “Have you tried befriending Twilight Sparkle yet?” There was a moment of silence before an answer was given. “I haven’t managed to approach her. Since the target’s escape, she’s been cooped up in that treehouse of hers for three days.” Crimson clicked her tongue. “Come to think of it, this Pinkie Pie character might very well know her personally. I’ve seen how the other ponies have treated her with kindness.” She groaned in annoyance. “But she’s so annoying.” “If she’s our only ticket to that pony, then you have to do it. Additionally, I’m sending you a colleague to work on this project.” “What?! I’ve ALWAYS worked solo!” “But this proved that just one agent won’t suffice. We need two to be at several locations at a time to react in real time to the target’s appearances.” “...Fine. When do I meet him?” “Tomorrow around noon. He will be at the train station. I say ‘noon-ish’ because you know how trains can be. His name is ‘Black Cloud’, and he’ll look for you.” A single click ended the conversation.