//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4: Regret 
// Story: What the Heart Craves 
// by ocalhoun 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 4 – Regret

Bella opened her eyes. They slammed shut again.
Her head hurt – a headache like she'd never had before, like something sharp drilling into her skull. The pain came immediate and intense, like somepony was hurting her right now.
She brought a hoof up to check her head. She was sure she'd feel some gaping wound across it... but her hoof only found sticky, tangled hair.
Her hoof dropped back down. Every joint was stiff and aching, as if filled with too much pressure.
She opened her eyes again, blinking the gum out of them. Where am I? Bright sunlight beamed in through a small, dust-specked window across a powder-blue wall filled with tiny pinholes where drawings used to hang. Few of them remained, though she could still see faint shadows of them faded into the paint. Her own room, of course. How did I get back here? She tried to remember what happened last night, but the effort spurred on the pain in her head.
Something roiled in her gut, followed by a short cramp. Nausea flushed through her, forcing her up out of bed despite the pain.
The trash can next to her desk – she knew she wouldn't make it to the bathroom in time.
She barely made it to the bin before her stomach emptied itself. Thin, sour filth spewed from her mouth. She shut her eyes and let it come. It was all she could do. Her head pounded, and every joint burned, but she couldn't lay down. Her stomach kept heaving, though only a trickle of stringy goo came out now.
Trembling, she hugged the foul-smelling trash can. Her eyes watered, but she stayed there, convulsing and drooling a thin stream of slime into the can.
Finally, her stomach settled down enough for her to think. She sat down in front of the trash can and wiped her mouth with a hoof. Her throat burned terribly. Why does my throat... Oh. She could remember it, how she had abused her body. Another, slighter ache shot up into her from her crotch.
It hadn't hurt last night. She remembered that ... but it sure hurt now.
She couldn't remember how she came home, though. The last thing she remembered was falling down into a puddle of... Oh Goddess... Bella winced. He came inside me!
Her gut heaved again, and she hung her head over the trash can, but nothing came out. She sat there, staring into it.
Inside, countless little balls of paper soaked in her sick. A glob of the mess dribbled down over the ripped-up poster inside. She watched as it slid down across Vinyl Scratch's face. The signature she'd treasured so long was already smeared and unreadable.
Well, I set out to show how bad I was without a real mom. Bella groaned, and her gut cramped again. Guess I did a good job of that... Maybe too good.
She slowly stood up. All she wanted was her bed. She needed a shower – badly – but she needed rest more. I'll shower when I feel—
Sharp claws ripped into her leg.
She yelped and kicked, but the cat jumped back and pounced again, swatting at her tail. She backed against the wall, stumbling. “Not now! Go away!”
The cat darted around her, playing with her, darting in to swat her with his prickly claws.
It was hell. This was the last thing she needed right now. How did he even get in here? She looked at the door – it was cracked open. Who left it—?
The cat took advantage of her moment of distraction, darting in and latching onto her left foreleg.
It only made her head feel worse. I have to get away from this thing! Bella shook the screaming cat loose and stumbled for the door. She rushed down through the hall and down the stairs with the cat behind her the whole way, seeming to enjoy the sport of tormenting her. With every step, her head pounded and her gut wrenched, but the little monster wouldn't let her rest.
Bella fumbled her way into the living room, kicking at the stupid cat and desperately searching for some kind of relief. I can't take this!
Lemon Hearts looked up from her magazine across the room in her rocking chair. “How are you feeling, Bella?”
The cat meowed and ran over to her, hopping up into Lemon's lap. Bella glared at him.
“Aw, there's my little Messick. Such a good kitty.” She petted the purring, complacent cat, then looked up again. “Are you feeling okay? You looked awful when Miss Scratch brought you in last night. Are you coming down with something?”
Vinyl brought me back? That can't be right. “Yeah, Mom... I, uh, must be getting sick.”
Giving her a sympathetic smile, Lemon brushed the cat out of her lap and got up. “Let me get you some medicine.”
Arpeggio walked through, levitating his old brown briefcase in front of him. “Goodbye, dear. Goodbye, Bella.”
“Goodbye, Honey.” Lemon gave him a peck on the cheek as she walked by, but he hardly seemed to notice, his eyes staring off into the distance.
Bella rubbed her aching head. “Bye, Dad.”
“I should be back in a few days,” he said as he opened the door. He walked out without looking back. A moment later, the door shut.
Lemon came back in from the kitchen, carrying her medicine basket and a big cup of water along in her magic. “Now, what do you need, dear? You look like you have a pretty bad headache, at least.” She opened a bottle and brought out three little red pills.
“And a stomachache, too.”
A big pink pill joined the others, and they floated over to Bella, along with the cup.
Bella popped them all in her mouth at once and swallowed them with a sip of water. Her sore throat protested as the pills dragged their way down, but she didn't care.
“Now drink up, Bella. It's important to stay hydrated when you're sick.”
Bella took another sip. It wasn't much, but her throat still burned as it went down.
Lemon frowned at the still-full cup, but she didn't press the issue. “Now, go back to bed and get some rest. I won't have you going to school today and infecting all your classmates.” She sniffed the air and looked Bella up and down. “Maybe later today, we can see about getting you in the shower.”
Bella nodded carefully. That was perfect. There was no way she could go to school today. She was lucky to have such a caring mom, even if she wasn't her real mom. She turned toward the stairs, still carrying the cup, if only to make Lemon happy.
“And I'll come in later with some nice hot soup.” Lemon picked up her basket and started toward the kitchen. She paused. “Oh, and Bella?”
“Mmm?”
“Do you know anything about what happened to the mirror in the upstairs bathroom?”
Bella ducked her head down a little. “I dunno.”
Lemon stared at her for a moment, but finally shrugged and walked into the kitchen.
Taking the stairs one hoof at a time, Bella made her way back to her bedroom. What would I do without her? She smiled weakly. Cuddle up to the trashcan and wish I was dead, probably. She made sure the door shut tight. That, or I'd end up killing the cat. Her adoptive parents might not be the best, but they were good, dependable ponies. It was nice to have some constants in life.
She stumbled into her bed and curled up, letting the pains wash over her without a fight, trying to disassociate herself from them.
Yeah, I'm lucky to have my family. She winced, remembering Silver's bruised eye. It could be so much worse.


⁂


A heavy hoof banged on Silver Spoon's bedroom door, hard enough to rattle the glass trinkets on her dresser.
Her heart stopped, and a jolt ran down her back. She thrust the picture of Bella she'd been looking at under her frilly pillow.
“Spoon, I need to talk to you.”
Those words pressed down on her, crushing her in their grip. This was going to be bad. Very bad. She felt sick and hollow inside already.
After a moment of no response, Silver Platter opened the door. He stepped in, already staring at her, already knowing her.
She jumped down to the far side of her bed, putting the big, fluffy mess in his way.
Her father frowned, staring at her across the lacy duvet. “I spoke with an old friend of yours, Diamond Tiara, after school.” He took an ominous step toward the corner of the bed. “She told me you've been sneaking out, messing about with Arpeggio's girl.”
It would be useless, she knew ... but she had to try. “No! She's just lying to get me into trouble!”
He stalked around the bed, his hoofsteps silent in the plush carpet. “We've been over this before, Spoon.” He turned the last corner, trapping her between the bed and two walls. “With your mother gone, it's my duty to raise you properly.”
She backed against the wall, gasping for breath. She could see him already dropping out of his sheath. It made her sick, looking at it.
Looming over her, he raised his hoof.
She cringed away, covering her face.
“You will not sully the values this family stands for just to engage in perversity.” The hoof fell, catching her across the foreleg.
She collapsed down, holding her leg to her chest with a sob. Why did he do this? Why was he like this? Why did she deserve this?
A hoof crashed into her ribs, doubling her over on the floor.
“And you will not skulk about behind my back!” He kicked her again, but it only glanced off of her butt. It was nothing compared to the splitting pain spreading across her ribs. He grabbed her, lifting her up and throwing her against the bed with terrifying strength.
She tried to squirm off of the bed, but he was faster. Tears burned in her eyes when he pinned her belly-down against the bed.
He squeezed her hard, making her chest hurt even worse as he slid himself into position.
She squirmed, pulling against him, but she couldn't get loose, she couldn't get away. She never could.
He bit down on her mane, shoving her face down into the soft, down-stuffed blankets. She could feel his hot breath on her neck.
“Daddy, please no!”
That didn't stop him. It never did.
She screamed.