//------------------------------// // "Facing insurmountable odds, with black, one-eyed midgets..." // Story: Autumn // by Domaldo //------------------------------// Robert's POV, Ponyville *GROWL* *BARK* *GROWL* *SNORT* *GROWL* *BARK* *GROWL* *SNORT* *GROWL* *SNORT* “GAH! All that growling won’t let me concentrate!” ARE YOU SERIOUSLY MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR STUPID GAME OF CHECKERS RIGHT NOW?! The armored pony used his hooves to smack the board, sending it flying. I then noticed that whatever they were using as a table flew away from them. Before any of the ponies could try and catch it, it landed on my lap. "To those who beat the drums of war, To those who face insurmountable odds, Beat the sacred drum, And I will help you conquer your foes!" “…” “My name is Wilson Percival Higgsbury, and I’m so dead right now you cannot begin to comprehend! Please please please PLEASE HELP ME!!!” I panicked and screamed at the air while beating my hands frantically on the strange white drum. “Hey! I thought I told yo-” Their pony leader began to say, before a green light appeared in the middle of the room. As I looked up, I saw a green swirling mass of smoke producing the light. “What on Earth is that?!" I asked no one in particular. Then a figure stepped out of the green portal. It looked humanoid, but its 'skin' was as black as the nights in this forsaken land. Its shape was too flat, too generic, heck it wasn't wearing any clothing besides a weird hat, yet there was nothing that may distinguishing it as a male besides the lack of breasts. His nose and ears where mostly gone, only small elevations on his head like an early sketch begging to be done. But what I found most eerie was his eyes and mouth. His eyes where perfectly circular, and there was no color to them for they where black irises on white contrast. And his mouth seemed to be drawn over with white paint on his face, for there was no depth to it whatsoever. This was until it moved to speak, acting like any mouth on a cartoon should. “That was unpleasant” The strange guy said, by his tone it was clear he was male. He began to look around, and I noticed the armored ponies aimed their weapons at him. It just got worse from there when black, one eyed freaking MIDGETS with spears, shields and bows stepped out of the portal. They also had his eyes, along with the strange hat on their bald heads. I really don’t know what the fuck just happened, all I know is that apparently he is the owner of this strange drum in my hands, for he asked: “So, who summoned us?” And everything in the goddamn room pointed at me as I raised my hand. I could barely keep it up without shacking, for he was STARING at me with those freaky looking eyes of his. *GROWL* *BARK* *GROWL* *SNORT* *GROWL* *BARK* *GROWL* *SNORT* *GROWL* *SNORT* “I assume that whatever’s barking are the things you want me to kill?” Oh right… the hounds… Man he sounded like a robot, heck he could be a robot for all I know! “Uh huh...” “Could you please tell me what we’re going to fight?” WE?! HAVE YOU EVEN LOOKED AT ME?! Wait, you did, and it was very unpleasant… “...hounds...” I said helpful as ever, while he rested his hand on his face. Also, apparently the eyes of both him and the midgets worked as eyebrows, like some sort of children's show they still managed to get some expression out of them. “Let’s go then.” Before I could try and say anything, drums began to sound as if they where everywhere around him. *Pata pata pata pon* The black, one-eyed midgets marched forward to the door, despite the fact that they could barely move in the small... library? It has quite the collection of books... “Pata pata pata pon!” Oh for fucks sake that is CREEPY... they all sang along the ethereal beatings of the drums! I shook my head hard to try and focus, all this weirdness had stunned me. “You don’t understand, there are a lot of hounds!” I warned him, before he turned back to me and smiled... Great! some fuel to haunt my dreams... “Dogs can’t beat us, my friend.” Is it wrong that I'm still very afraid? *Pata pata pata pon* “Pata pata pata pon!” Then another very small pony came into the room from the portal, singing with the rest of the group. I also took note of her small wings and horn atop her tiny little head. “Hello!” She said while waving her arm around, looking extremely cute all the way. “Uh, hi?” One of the armored ponies said, and honestly I could tell I'm not the only one confused about all this crap. The cute small pony simply smiled while catching up with the rest of her group. “Well, I’m going outside. Don’t get in my army’s way PLEASE.” The black guy said, before slamming aga-HE CAN GO THROUGH WALLS?!?! “Hold it right there you, erm, thing!” HEY! That's VERY racist! But before I could voice my thoughts, their horse leader ran after him. I tried to run after them too, but I was surrounded by a purple aura, like if something physical was keeping me in place. "Nuh uh, you sir are NOT going anywhere after the stunt you just pulled by bringing them here with your drum!" Said the purple, unicorn mare, I also noticed she, and all the other ponies in the room had some sort of unique picture on their butts... weird... "Oh, those are our cutie marks you are staring at!" Wait, what? Why are they all looking at me li- OH GOD NO, NOPE FUCK NO!!! "I DIDN'T MEAN TO" I all but screamed at them while averting my eyes... Why was this happening?! I then took a moment to realize most of the grumbling had died down, and dared peek outside a nearby window. "Oh no!" I called out, pointing at the massive wave of hounds coming from the forest. But before they managed to enter the town, a gigantic shield made of purple light encased the town. "Don't worry, my brother has it all covered! I bet that shield could encase the entire Can-" That is as much as the purple mare could get, before obvious cracks where forming around the shield. "Oh, crap I must warn him!" I didn't care anymore, I bolted for the door, leaving the mares speechless and ran towards the strange guy. After catching up with the group of black midgets and their leader, I shouted: “That's what I was trying to say in the first place!” He then turned towards me. “How many do you think?” He asked me, and I was not sure if telling him was a good idea or not. “... ehehehe erm… around...eight thousand...” I barely muttered, how on Earth do I break this to him?! He sighed, quickly followed by his hand once again resting on his face, what was the expression again? “Please say that again, Could you?” “Eh, well if my calculations are correct, and I really hope not, there should be somewhere between, erm, seven thousand to eight thousand hounds…” His eye twitched right after I said this, and I felt like I had failed my math homework. “Your joking, right?” Ehehehe... no... no I'm not. “Well, might as well get on with it.” He said this, his expression turning serious. “Wait, how many did yo-?” The armored unicorn tried to say something, before his eyes grew wide as I stared terrified at the cracks on the shield. Hey at least most of the ponies had already ran somewhere safe by now! Looking back at the other guy, I realized he was calm and collected. Does he really think he can wi-OHGODHERETHEYCOME!!! Befor I knew it, the drum on my hands floated away from me, transforming into a strange, new green one. “I like our chances now.” The guy said with a smile on his face, before reaching out to tou-HUH?! IT DISAPPEARED!! *Chaka chaka pata pon* The strange noise rang across the wind, reaching towards the small army. “Chaka chaka pata pon!” I hid behind a nearby bush and watched as the army immediately got into some form of practiced formation with ease. Their shields stood at the front, ready to take on the wave of relentless hounds. All the while spears and arrows rained hell upon the devilish beasts. And wow, the cute blue pony from before was using her weirdly shaped swords to attack them, but she lacked the experience the rest of the army sported. But then I noticed this was probably not enough, for their numbers where too great they almost engulfed the poor midgets, almost. The ponies finally decided to lend a hand, erm hoof? With the two combined efforts of the ponies and black, one-eyed midgets, the hounds where held back with ease. This isn't so bad! ... Aaaand I fucking jinxed it didn't I? *Chaka chaka pata pon* “Chaka chaka pata pon!” As the sounds of drums filled the air once more, they increased their efforts, well, as much as they could. And OMGWTFBBQ!?!?! Okay?!?!? Apparently the red ones EXPLODE IN A SHOWER OF FLAMES AFTER DYING!!! I backed away slightly, until I felt a small drizzle. As I looked up I saw a few of the flying ponies... erm, wut? They where using their hooves to gather CLOUDS and force them to rain upon the flaming hell the battle had become. Not only that, but some of the unicorns lit up their horns to help with most of their fire... yeah I don't really understand that logic either... *Chaka chaka pata pon* “Chaka chaka pata pon!” The drums and the army cried again, taking the hound waves with ferocity that would put most battles to shame. Until one of the midgets with a shield got a chunk of flaming hound stuck on him, and began running around like a chicken that lost its head while screaming bloody murder all the way. This left a hole in their seemingly unbreakable defense, until the small pony managed to barely hold them back, some of the midgets with spears aiding her. The pony who was leading his troops used his horn to create a similar barrier like before, but much smaller and potent able to hold the beasts off of them. *Chaka chaka pata pon* “Chaka chaka pata pon!” As they singed their battlecry, the shield midget got back to his post, giving the pony a much needed rest. How the hell did he managed to put out the fire by running around instead of 'Stop, Drop and Roll' is beyond me, I thought running only vented the flames and made it worse? *Chaka chaka pata pon* “FEVER!” What seemed impossible just happened, for the army of black midgets plus cute-small-pony DOUBLED their resolve, resulting in the cutting edge for the battle. This also seemed to have some affect to the armored ponies, for they too decided to fight harder than ever. This just basically fucked the hellhounds over so hard, the battle was finally coming to a close. Heck even when the ponies themselves became too exhausted to fight, the remains of the enemy was too small to take the midgets on. Soon enough, there where no more hounds and the ponies where sprawled on the floor panting heavily. The midgets however seemed more energetic by their victory, for fucks sake what do they run on?! AIR?!?! For a moment I thought there would be a gigantic mess of rotting corpses littering all around the area, but it seemed they where dissolving into the very air, becoming motes of shadows before burning out in the very sunlight. Then I noticed I wasn't entirely wrong, nor right. All across the battlefield where sprawled about teeth, chunks of smoldering meat and... RED GEMS?!?! The mysterious black guy floated towards the unicorn leader, saying: “My advice for next time, try not to antagonize possible help. The next person through here might not be as friendly as me.” I don't think he payed too much attention to what he said there, for he barely nodded before collapsing again to th- Wait, what did he mean by 'the next person'? I noticed the midgets gathering the spoils to their war, and this included the gems. Crap I must act quickly! I came out of my hiding spot and ran towards their leader, and promptly thanked him: “Hey! Um, guy uh, thanks for helping me and the town” He smiled softly, I guess he was glad too. However, I still needed something else. “But, can you please save some of the gems for me? I uh, kindoff need them, and some of the teeth too if you don’t mind, erm mister…?” Thankfully he responded: “My name is Kami. We can’t take much back, so sure. But if I may ask, why do you need them?” “Well, I think it would be better if I could show you” I told him, I really did not know what the gems true potential could be unless I properly experiment with them first hand on my research stations. “Where do yah think yer going mister?” Oh... right, the ponies... “What makes you think we are going to let you walk off just like that?” The leader of the pony army asked, seriously is he retarded or something? HE JUST SAVED OUR ASSES, plus you look like you are ready to fall again and sleep for the rest of the day. “And how will you stop us? Just out of genuine interest” Kami grinned at them before responding, and I couldn't help but let a smile graze my face. “Thank you, now if any of you need us, you know where to find us” I told them politely after thanking my companion, I was a gentleman after all, plus I'm pretty sure they know where we are going. “Let’s get MOVING! Just follow this guy!” He pointed at me, and I guided them through the forest as they followed me to the castle. This day turned out pretty ok after all.