//------------------------------// // "If You're Learnin', Can't Be Grinnin'" // Story: Ynanhluutr // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// “'Six key points across the archipelagos,' huh?” Nick looked up from a pile of books spread before him across a gazebo. “Sorry.” He shrugged. “I haven't a clue.” “Guhhhh!” Rainbow Dash spun around and bashed her skull several times against a wooden post. Whap whap whap! She spun about, frowning with a red welt across her forehead. “How can you possibly not have a clue?! You're a friggin' ship builder! Shouldn't you know a thing or two about the... water geography around here?!” “Oceanography,” Twilight muttered, pouring over the spare open books. “Right! What Twil—” Rainbow bit her tongue, twitching. “What... what I just said! Oceanography! So... how 'bout it ya five legged cat huffer?!” “Okay, for one...” Nick raised his hoof. “Nopony in the Marine Colonies have had any luck charting the surrounding seas... because the oceans simply weren't navigable without risk of eventual sinking! Why else do you think we built the bridges across the three islands of Kihutaja?! It was a harrowing task that took several hundreds of years, but it was worth it! This place has always been like a social bastion penetrating the heart of the Blighted Maelstrom! It's how we've afforded impunity so long from the lands loyal to Verlaxion!” “That sounds all well and good, but I need to know more about—” “And second...” Nick frowned. “You don't get to decide what I am or am not the huffer of! Besides...” He grumbled, flipping a page and making Twilight do a double-take. “...you just about ruined my social life in dragging me here to tell you nothing.” “Social life?!” Rainbow Dash gawked at him. “What have you got to be salty over?!” “She was going to be my first mate! We were going to cruise the high seas together!” “That's not what I meant by 'salty,' ya dipstain!” “Doesn't change the fact that you're an adorably mean jerk who ruined my chances with the mare of my dreams.” “Pffft! As if! You didn't even know her name!” “Of course I did!” Nick frowned. “It was... was...” He blinked, his expression paling. A pair of purple eyes traced the edges of the gazebo and the verdant campus beyond. “... … …Ashley? Andrea? Tabitha...?” Rainbow groaned, drawing a hoof over her face. “Rainbow...” Twilight trotted up close to the pegasus. “I know you want to find answers and you want to find them quick, but would it hurt you to treat the ponies around you with a modicum of respect?” She gestured at Nick with a lavender hoof. “They're not just a bunch of random emotionless equines whom you can use like tools to get what you needed done!” “But I have to find out how to get to these other points, Twi!” Rainbow whispered hoarsely. “If there's a chance of getting the rest of the girls back, then I won't let anything hold me back! Plus, who knows what Luna and Spike will even discover...?” Twilight's eyes narrowed. “If you turned back time, would you want to let yourself treat Belle and Pilatesmith the same way you're treating Nick?” “Hey... don't even pretend to compare the melon fudges of this College Dorkiversity to the best friends I made in Ledomare!” “You're not acting very harmonic at all, Rainbow,” Twilight retorted. “Give these ponies a chance! For all you know, they may actually be more helpful to you than Luna and Spike!” “Tara!” Nick slapped the seat beside him with a victorious smile. “That's the name I was looking for—no, wait.” He tapped his chink, face scrunched again. “She was the debate team leader from last semester. Hmmmm...” Rainbow stared lethargically at Twilight. The unicorn sighed, then phased through part of the gazebo to glance at three open books. “Could you turn the pages, please?” Rainbow neatly did so with a casual shift of her wingfeathers. Meanwhile, she paced back towards Nick. “Look... I'm sorry for raining on your parade.” “Well, I suppose it lives up to your name,” Nick muttered. “Rainbow the Dasher of warm, fuzzy dreams.” “Cute. Witty.” Rainbow cocked her head aside. “Think you can use any of that cuteness and wit in helping me figure out the location of these six spots?” “Look, these books you've brought me are super old,” Nick said. “And, quite frankly, a lot of them are out of date. Heck... half of them were published before the reign of Verlaxion began!” “So what does that matter?” Rainbow squinted. “You guys hate Rohbredden.” Nick pointed. “We don't hate our central brothers and sisters to the east. More than anything, we pity them.” “What for?” “'Verlaxion' is a name. A false god. A phantom.” Nick gestured as he spoke. “The Continentals have sacrificed reason for blind faith. They've put all their eggs into one basket, trusting a faceless entity as the means of their providence. While the legacy of Verlaxion has brought the Six Tribes together, the rate at which they are all sucking resources from the environment can only spell their eventual doom! There... just aren't that many islands in the sea worth carving up in the way they've been doing it! The world is small, fragile! Rohbredden doesn't have any business being as powerful as it is! And with a nameless, faceless figurehead at the helm... well... just none of it seems right.” Nick took a deep breath. “Here, in Kihutaja, the Colonials have been free to explore individualism, creativity, art, and—above all—scientific reason. All of that is sparse beyond the edge of the western Archipelagos, and while we've enjoyed a great deal of liberty and isolationism... with the Blight gone...” He gulped. “...it means that we're accessible now. And with the sirens on Verlaxion's side... I-I shudder to think.” “She's a Dragon Matriarch.” Nick looked up. “Huh?” “Verlax,” Rainbow droned. “The 'goddess' that the Rohbreddeners... Rohreddenites worship. She's a Divine who's lived for thousands upon thousands of years. She has several sisters, all spread across both sides of the plane—light and dark.” Nick grimaced. “Both sides?” Twilight glanced up at them both. Rainbow Dash was nearly pratfalling. “You mean you don't know that there're two sides to the plane?! I thought your culture lived on the friggin' edge!” “Yes!” Nick nodded. “On the other side of the Continent of Rohbredden! No single living professor here in the K.M.C.A. has seen the rampaging waters. We only know what we know from books!” “Books... books... books...” Rainbow paced around, growling partially at Twilight in the process. “Is that all you think you need to get by in life?!” “Well... uhm...” Nick squirmed in his seat. “Education is... all about the... enrichment of the mind. And the soul!” “Yeah, and that's awesome and all, but would it kill y'all to take a hike for once?!” Rainbow gestured wildly towards the crashing surf nearby. “And I don't mean only setting sail when there's a pretty mare to woo!” “Pfft! We've always had the Blight to stop us!” “Yeah, well, it didn't stop me!” Rainbow growled. “I flew and trotted and crawled and drifted across the whole dayum Choke to get here! And—yeah—I had to survive by a few miracles half the time, but at least I tried!” “Huh...” Nick blinked. “You know, I always thought that K.M.C.A. should have been a military academy from the start.” He chuckled. “Maybe then we'd all have 'grown some beaks,' as the griffons love to say.” “Unngh...” Rainbow held a hoof over her eyes. “You're missing the point! If you wanna learn... and I mean really learn... then you gotta do it the hard way!” She frowned and smirked at the same time. “The way that bleeds.” “Rainbow...” Twilight droned, smiling coyly. “The points of interests...” “But... she's right,” Rainbow sighed. “We have to move on. All of that is neither here nor there—” “Who's she?” Nick asked. “Hmmm?” Rainbow blinked blankly. “You know...” Nick sat up straight, breathing evenly. “I hate to be an Obvious Odis, but ever since you came here, you've... exhibited some curious traits.” “Look, just forget it, okay?” Rainbow muttered, waving a hoof. “It'd take too long to explain—” “Is it something magical?” Twilight perked up. “... … ...” Rainbow stared at him. “...maybe?” “Oh come on...” Nick chuckled. “I said this was a small, fragile world... not a simple one.” He gestured. “Verlaxion... Verlax... whoever—Dragon Matriarch or not—it's obvious they have used a great deal of magic to bewitch the populace of Rohbredden. I've seen some of Verlaxion's Shards myself. There's a lot of dark power at the heart of the continent.” Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Shards...?” “And the Blight?” Nick glanced west, smirking into the warm tropical winds. “We all knew there was a reason for it. A fully explainable reason. But until magic is explained... it's simply that... a higher form of magic. But that's the beauty of it. All things can be tamed.” “I... uh... had no idea you thought that way,” Rainbow said. Nick glared with straight eyebrows. “This is a college island full of scholars. What'd you take us for? Idiots?” “Erm...” Rainbow fidgeted. “Well...” “Still, you're right. There's more to the world than just studying it at face value,” Nick said. “I guess the whole trick is... j-just as you stated.” He smirked at her. “It's all about taking risks.” “Risks... right...” Rainbow Dash nodded. “...like talking to me.” “Erm...” Nick blushed slightly. “So what if I find your particular situation... fascinating.” Rainbow simply stared. Twilight smirked at her. He pointed at the stallion. “I like him.” “Yeah, you would,” Rainbow grumbled aside. “Who are you speaking to now?” Nick asked. “One of the phantoms you mentally picked up due to prolonged exposure to the hazardous leylines of the Blighted Sea?” “No... I mean... not quite...” Rainbow sighed. “Look, it's super complicated. Something... very stupidly magical has happened to me, and I...” She grimaced, leaning back on her haunches. “I... I-I need to find out the purpose of these six ancient points of interest.” She pointed west. “The Tower you all know about was one of them—of this I'm certain. I found it while stumbling my way east. When I entered it, something... something big happened... to m-me... and I... I-I gotta find out if the next five points can do the same. And if at least four of them do... then that's super awesome. Because—” “The magic will be complete?” Nick asked. Rainbow and Twilight exchanged expressions. Rainbow looked his way and nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much.” “Well...” Nick flipped through several books. “Assuming this is true, I can only guess that the points are spread throughout this portion of the... erm...” His purple eyes darted up. “...light-side plane.” “Uh huh...” “It stands to reason you'll be crossing deep into Rohbredden territory,” Nick said. “Maybe even the heart of the continent.” Rainbow grimaced. “That's... a bad thing, isn't it?” She sighed. “Let me guess, they shoot ponies on sight?” Nick did a double-take. “Shoot? You mean... like with arrows? Spears?” “Or guns, maybe?” Rainbow cocked her head aside. “Manarifles, perhaps?” Nick's face was so scrunched it looked like the flesh would peel off. “What in Blight's name are you talking about?” “Yeah, Rainbow.” Twilight blinked at her. “What are you talking about?” Rainbow ignored her, nostrils flaring. “Or maybe the Six Tribes have some crazy magic?” She leaned forward. “And will skin foreign ponies alive?” “Heavens, no!” Nick cackled. “Egads, girl! Just what kind of lands exist west of the Blight?!?” “I don't get it...” “You certainly don't!” Nick smiled awkwardly. “We're all at peace with one another here in the Archipelagos! Rohbredden and Kihutaja might have ideological differences, but there hasn't been a war in centuries. Not since the Six Tribes united!” “... … ...” Rainbow blinked. “Huh...” “Don't get me wrong. Eheh...” Nick shrugged. “There's a lot of danger out there, especially in the untamed oceans between colonies. A few settlements isolate themselves and refuse to trade, and I suppose you could call them hostile, but most ponies know better than to cross such lines. Besides... the tide is always rising and receding. Heh... am I right?” “I... guess...?” Rainbow murmured. “You really have no clue what's out here, do you?” Nick chuckled. “You truly are from the other side of the Blight.” “A gazillion times yes,” Rainbow muttered. “I was hoping you could help me.” “Well, I'd love to. But even if I gave you all the knowledge I've accumulated over the past few semesters...” He shifted in mid-speech and gestured towards the campus. “Even if the smartest professors stopped whatever it was they were doing and lectured you on the landscapes ahead... I'm afraid it just wouldn't cut it.” “And why's that?” “We've been explorers of the mind these past few centuries,” Nick said with a proud smile. “Not of the seas. But... with what you've done to the Blight... heh... that might all change!” He grinned. “It's so exciting!” Twilight giggled. Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Well, sorry if I don't exactly share your bubbly enthusiasm at the moment.” “Yeah, I get it.” Nick pouted. “You've evidently got somewhere to be. It's a shame, really.” “I wouldn't be of much use here.” “Why's that?” Nick exclaimed. “You have so much you can give us! So much knowledge you can share of the unknown world beyond the Blight! Like... this whole 'Dragon Matriarch' business! And things called 'manarifles.'” “I'm... on a journey,” Rainbow said, glancing briefly aside at Twilight. “It's too big even for me to comprehend at times. So I'm not sure I could put it all together for any single one of you.” “Hmmm... perhaps you're right,” Nick said, his ears folding. “But I still wanna help you.” “But I thought you just said you couldn't.” “Perhaps. But I know a pony who can.” He smirked. “In fact, he's the only pony in all of Kihutaja who's bothered amassing oceanographic and geographic knowledge these past few decades!” “What, is he a professor or something?” “Used to be. But now he's retired. Lives out in the village just outside campus.” “On this island?” “Yup. And I can tell you right now that he's the absolute best cartographer of our day and age! Why, if he wasn't such a friggin' hermit, I bet he'd improve our social studies course by three hundred percent! You're not going to get half the knowledge from the books in all our archives as you could from a single conversation with him!” “If that's so, then why'd he hole himself up somewhere?” Rainbow asked with a shrug. “Why's he no longer teaching?” “Erm...” Nick squirmed. “He... was discharged from the faculty about eight years ago.” “What for?” “He smacked a student with a cane.” “Yeah?” Rainbow shrugged. “You guys seem awfully sassy to me. Maybe the kid deserved it.” “He insulted the old stallion's hat,” Nick droned. “And for that, he gave the kid a concussion.” Rainbow winced. “Oh...” “Heh... every student on campus knows to keep their distance whenever they see him going for one of his walks. It's all for the best. Still... what I wouldn't give to hear what he has to say these days...” “Then why not ask him?” Twilight asked. “Yeah!” Ranbow nodded. “Then why don't you go knock on his door?!” She shrugged. “He's an equine being, after all, isn't he?” “For lack of a better term, sure.” Nick furiously shook his head. “But you wouldn't catch me dead on his front door stoop! Not even if you paid me in a million cheerleaders!” He blinked, then glanced towards the top of the gazebo, tapping his chin. “Then again...” “Look, I don't have cheerleaders...” Rainbow leaned forward. “But I've got plenty of stories. Enough lore for the two of you to eat up heartily!” “Two of who?” “You and angry cane dude!” Rainbow's voice cracked. “Sounds like he's the one pony around these parts who can help me! So show me where he lives!” “I... dunno if that's a good idea, come to think of it...” “You wanna get anywhere in learning? Or in life?!” “You gotta take risks... right...” Nick nevertheless winced. “But... I-I kinda like not having a concussion!” “Nicaragua...” “I'm telling you!” he exclaimed. “You'll have much better luck trying to get a griffon to smile!” Rainbow smirked. “Been there. Done that. Lived through the talon-scratches to laugh about it.” She stood tall, wings spread. “Now... where can I find this guy?” Knock Knock Knock! Rainbow's hoof banged on the worn antique door of a two-story duplex in the middle of a rustic village. Twilight stood right beside her on the humble stone path leading up through a flowery garden. “Uhm... hello?” Rainbow slapped the door again. Knock knock knock! “Uhhhh... Mister...” Rainbow and Twilight looked down at a sheet of paper in the pegasus' grasp. “...Mister Sinrar?” Rainbow turned to look over her shoulder. “Am I even pronouncing it right?” A meek voice whimpered from beyond a shaking rose bush. “Dude...” Rainbow frowned. “Just get your fuzzy flank over here already!” “Pffft!” Nick stuck his head out of the bush, trembling from several feet away. “I c-can see the apartment from here just fine! Thanks!” “For real! You act as if this Sinrar guy could suplex a minotaur or something!” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “We're just here to talk like normal ponies!” “S-says who?” “Says the mare who's done exactly what I just said!” Rainbow growled. “If worse comes to worst, I've got your back, dude! Now hop to it!” “Mmmmm...” Biting his lip to the point of nearly-bleeding, Nick nevertheless shuffled over to Rainbow's side. “That's more like it,” Rainbow cooed. Twilight leaned in. “Exactly when did you run into minotaurs?” Her eyebrow arched. “Much less suplexed one of them?” “Shuddup,” Rainbow blurted. “But I didn't say anything!” Nick whispered. “Exactly.” Rainbow rapped on the door again. Knock Knock Knock! “Mr. Sinrar, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but this is a matter of super crazy importance. You dig maps and stuff, right? Well, I can fill you in on an entire plane full of rich, crazy detail! All you gotta do is open the door, talk to me, and... uhm... g-gimme a free lecture on the ancient cartography of the islands east of here. You think you can do that? Hello?!” “I don't think he's even home, Rainbow,” Twilight said. “What makes you think he's not home?” Rainbow asked. Nick spoke up: “I told you—he goes on his walkies a lot.” “Or maybe he's just pulling the cantankerous card like you previously implied,” Rainbow said. “Or he could be sleeping,” Twilight said. “Or that.” Rainbow nodded. “Or what?” Nick asked. “What what?” “What that?” “That?” “You're doing it again,” Nick sighed. “Doing what again?” Rainbow asked. Twilight groaned, rubbing a hoof over her face. “Will you stop confusing the poor stallion already, Rainbow?” “And what?!” Rainbow frowned aside. “Ignore you?! It's been too long, girl!” “Hey...” Nick frowned. “...I may have a soft mane and purple eyes, but that's going too far.” “No... I wasn't...” Rainbow groaned, resting her forehead against the antique door. “Darn it...” “That's it...” Twilight drifted forward with a sigh. “...time to fix this.” “Let me guess,” Nick muttered, smirking slightly. “More of the 'phantoms of the blight?'” “Mmmmfff...” Rainbow exhaled. “Sure... why not?” “Are they riding pink wyverns?” “Don't patronize.” Rainbow leaned back. “For your information—” She pointed at the spot to her side, only to find that Twilight was gone. “... … ...Twilight?” “No, it's two o'clock in the afternoon.” “Twilight?!” Rainbow looked all around. Nick blinked. “Two o'clock in the afternoon!” “Will you knock it off?!” Rainbow growled. “I know what time it is!” “Then why do you insist on—?” A lavender face phased through the doorway. “Hey.” “Twilight!” Rainbow gasped. “What's so special about twilight?!” Nick cackled. Twilight glanced aside. “What's he going on about? Did you tell him—?” “What are you even doing inside his house?!” Rainbow exclaimed. “But... we're on the front stoop still—” Nick tossed his forelimbs and sighed. “Whatever. I give up.” “You're close enough to the foundation,” Twilight explained. “I figured I'd just trot inside and have a look around.” “But... but...” “And guess what I found?” Twilight grinned. She phased out of the door completely and pointed to the bottom left of the frame. “There's a hidden pressure latch there.” “Pressure latch?” Rainbow blinked. Nick did a double-take. “Pressure latch?” Twilight said, “I've seen the sort of thing before at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Some professors are too busy and... erm... senile to remember their keys after leaving the office. So they get a secret latch installed that they can press on the outside.” “So that way...” Rainbow smirked wryly. “...they can just absent-mindedly forget the secret switch instead.” “Secret switch?” Nick blinked. “Where?” “Watch...” Rainbow pressed a hoof forward, contacting the lower left frame of the door. “...and learn.” Cl-Click. The door popped loose from the frame. Rainbow reached in with her wingtips and opened it to a dusty atrium piled high with books and cardboard boxes full of papers. “How...” Nick gaped. “H-how did you even do that?” Rainbow struck a pose. “Magiccccc.” He frowned. “Don't you even start.” “So long as I intend to finish.” Rainbow cleared her throat and gestured froward. “After you.” “What?! Are you crazy?!” Nick shivered in place. “This is technically breaking and entering! Not that it matters! The local police, I can deal with! But this old stallion will murder our bones, I swear! You have no idea!” “No, but I've got an inkling.” “You're nuts!” “At least I clean up the shells after I'm done.” She slapped his flank with her wings. “Now get!” “Aaack!” Nick flew into the apartment, tumbling to a stop somewhere inside. “Ooof! Oh hey! Maps!” Rainbow paused in entering so she could glance aside at Twilight. “By the way... that's rather bold of you.” “What's rather bold of me?” Twilight asked. “Sneaking into a stranger's house,” Rainbow said. “Ghost or not... it's not what I'd expect the old Twilight to do.” “Times have changed, and the needs are dire. Besides...” Twilight smirked. “I've learned from the best.” “Uh huh...” Rainbow trotted forward. “So you have.” “So... can I get you to tell me more about these 'manarifles' you stumbled upon?” Twilight asked. Rainbow frowned. “You may not.” Thap! She closed the door behind.