//------------------------------//
// Anthem (Caliaponia) 
// Story: Verse Averse: Tales of the Versebreakers 
// by horizon 
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"You have got to be kidding me."

Captain Blank Rhyme stared at the piece of paper in her hooves, willing it to go away.  When, after several seconds her Earth Pony magic had failed to manifest any paper-destroying capabilities, she fell back on her second approach – yelling.

“White Noise, I need you in here!”

Moments later, a portly stallion poked his head into the room and gave her a questioning look.

“They know what we do, right?” she said, shoving the paper towards him.

The unicorn caught it easily in his telekinesis and began to read, eyebrows steadily rising as he scanned the scroll, muttering.  “Every unit to come up with its own theme song...  Perform in front of the whole department in two weeks…  Is this some sort of sick prank?” he finished, looking at her in concern.

She snorted.  “I hope so.  If not…  I just don’t know what the Chief was thinking.”

“I suppose we can ask her.”





“It builds morale. You know, esprit de corps?” Chief Gleaming Badge said, as cheerful as if she had just proposed a stakeout at Donut Joe’s.

Blank tried to keep the exasperation out of her voice.  “Look, I understand the workshop you attended was very nice and did cover some effective policing techniques, but we’re the Versebreakers.  Our unit’s whole purpose is to defuse an out-of-control musical number as quickly and effectively as possible.  Composing an anthem is completely off-mission.”

“Well, that may be, but with your in-depth understanding of music, you might find that you’re uniquely well-suited to the challenge, too.  Besides, using those skills and talents in reverse might give you some insight to help you do your job even better!  You never know until you try,” Badge said, smiling like a used chariot salespony.

Blank answered her cheer with a look of thinly veiled skepticism.

"Look.  The fire department holds a barbeque, right?  This is the same thing, basically.  Just give it a try.  What's the worst that can happen?"
 




The captains sat apart from the rank-and-file, clustered about the podium.  The records unit completed their number with a rousing climax, returning to their places in the audience amid a round of enthusiastic applause.

Sergeant Strong Hoof stepped up to the podium and cleared her throat.  “An excellent performance, archivists, thank you.  Next up, the Versebreakers, led by Sergeant White Noise.”

The murmur of the audience abruptly increased in volume as a small herd of ponies trotted up to the stage.

Chief Badge leaned over to Blank. "So you came up with a song, then?"

She nodded, reluctantly.

"How'd that go?"

Blank grimaced.  "Survival of the fittest."

The shuffling of hooves subsided, and across the room, somepony cleared their throat.  Chief Badge and Blank Rhyme quieted down as Night Beat blew into the pitch pipes.

A sound happened then, a confused melange of off-key notes and mis-timed verses that somehow still managed to resolve itself into mostly-coherent words.

"This is the song that never ends..."