(Judge) The defendants may now make a statement prior to sentencing.
Thank you, Your Honor. We will keep it brief.
We wish to throw ourselves upon the Court's mercy.
In the interests of justice.
We realize that we have many wrongs to redress —
— and this is not meant to detract from those.
Not in the slightest.
But don't let them say we didn't have a cure.
Do to us whatever you feel you must,
But don't deprive the nation
Of the most magnificent creation of the Flim-Flam Brothers,
The audacious,
efficacious,
all-natural and incidentally herbacious —
(Gavel.)
(Judge) Defendants are cautioned that this court
has previously enjoined them from rhyming verse,
and that their current statements tread upon dangerous ground.
Ahem.
My apologies, Your Honor. As you know, it's a constant struggle.
Don't let them say we didn't have a cure.
That's really all we ask.
We cannot let ... the Everfree Elixir stay ...
... Brother?
... obscure.
Fight it —
We must take this chance to show them
Our creation —
Brother, no!
Don't let them say we didn't have a cure!
(Music.)
I'm so sorry.
(Judge) Order! Order!
(Bailiff) Someone stop the clerk recorder!
It's imperative to tell you
That one drop will stop a cold!
(Noble) This is shocking to propriety!
(Judge) Go find that darn calliope!
Our granny drank a bottle —
Now she's twenty-three years old!
Flim, this helps the prosecution!
Then we'll offer restitution
With free samples from our ample stock
To help the world shine!
We can't withhold this miracle!
(Prosecutor) My life has turned satirical.
I'll fight this — I can fight this —
Sing the chorus, brother mine!
(Music pauses)
... Of course!
Don't let them say we didn't have a cure!
The world has to know that while our motives were impure,
The Everfree Elixir was a surefire pony fixer!
Don't let them say we didn't have a cure!
(Bailiff) The crowd's dancing.
(Judge) Bailiff, fetch a versebreaker.
(Bailiff) Ma'am.
Now, it's fair to say,
as you did,
That we should not have diluted
Our elixir,
Since a pony would
Expect effects to last!
But each customer returning
Was a way to boost our earnings
And those mercenary days of pay
Are firmly in the past!
We recognize we oughta
Stop pretending tonic water
Is the brew that you and you
And you!
And you had hoped to see!
So step into our pharmacy
(Prosecutor) Oh stars, here comes the harmony.
The real deal's a steal
And the first one's always free!
(Judge) Order! ORDER!
(Noble) I'll take four!
Don't let them say we didn't have a cure!
(Yeah!)
The world has to know that while our motives were impure,
(We know!)
The Everfree Elixir was a surefire pony fixer!
(And is!)
Don't let them say we didn't have a cure!
(We won't!)
(Stallion) Will it help me with my diet?
Yes! And so much more besides!
Here's a sample! Go on, try it!
(Mare) Check those muscles on his sides! (swoons)
(Mare) Will it help with my lumbago?
Are you kidding? Challenge, please!
It will make your whole darn day go
Just as smooth as this foal's knees!
(Versebreaker) Will it help me grow my oranges?
It will —
(Music record-scratches to a sudden halt)
... uhh. Ooooh.
Ergh.
Ow.
... Oh. I am SO terribly sorry, Your Honor.
(Judge) Swift Quill?
(Recorder) Ma'am?
(Judge) Please return to the Clerk Recorder's chair.
Oh dear.
So terribly, TERRIBLY sorry.
(Judge) And add Contempt of Court to the charges.
(Recorder) Yes, ma'am.