//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Inner Demons and Outer Woes // Story: Life in the Mind of Uncle Discord // by I Thought I Was Toast //------------------------------// Chapter 6: Inner Demons and Outer Woes “Why can’t you just leave me be?” I said to the darkness around me, “I’m tired of all these games. Why can’t you ever just be normal for a second or two?” “And what’s so odd about apologizing?” “You’re Discord. You don’t apologize,” I said flatly, “Everything you do is for your own twisted purposes. Sending me back inside my own twisted mind to have me kill myself again? That isn’t the mark of a good guardian if you didn’t know. Guardians are supposed to protect the mental stability of their charges, not try to fracture it. And don’t make me remind you of all your others pranks and training. But that’s not my main issue with you. I can take all the abuse you’ve thrown at me. I see that it’s your twisted way of trying to make me stronger. I just never thought you’d actually kill another pony. As much as you torture us all I always thought that even if we were just toys to you that we’d be toys that were too precious for you to just kill like that.” “I saved as many as I could…” It was remarkable how childish he sounded right now. I had the oddest feeling like I was the guardian at the moment. It was almost like I was scolding him, but I didn’t really care if he learned or not. In my mind I was done caring about Discord in any way. If he was going to just kill my friends off whenever he got the smallest whim to then there was no point to me caring. I’d still go through his training but not because he said I had to. If I was going to train I was going to make sure it made me strong enough to beat the smug bastard I’d once even considered calling my uncle. I’d grind his mind into paste and burn it to the ground, killing him and freeing us all. And once that was done I’d spit in his ashes to show I had no regret. “Come on! You can’t kill me! I saved Soarin for you! Doesn’t that count for anything? And besides, if I die how will the bargain be kept?” “To hell with your bargain!” I spat into the darkness of my mind as I searched for a way to synch with the world of the demon in the cloud. I could feel its presence out there. It was taunting me. Dashing from shadow to shadow it laughed as I failed to bring his world into being. Only in the depths of the depraved world it came from could I hope to kill it. Frustrating as it was I took it out on the only thing I hated more than it right now. “You bring that bargain up all the time but never tell me anything about it! I’m starting to think you made the whole thing up because you picked me to be your special play thing! I guess I should feel so honored to draw your attention from torturing the others just to torture me but you know how it goes…” “You used to be so happy and carefree… What happened to you?” “You happened.” That shut him up. Walking through the darkness I tried to sense the reflection of me in the darkness. While he wasn’t as anywhere near as powerful as the first offshoot of myself had been he was infinitely trickier. The first offshoot had been completely unstable and I’d been able to sense him wherever I went. He even brought me into his world to kill him. This one just watched and laughed at me though. "You know you could just-“ "Shut up,” I interrupted. This was so frustrating. If the other version of me didn’t bring myself into his world I’d have to do it myself. I really hoped this wouldn’t be a repeat of the bishop incident. I did not want to live through whatever monstrous version of me here lived through. Gathering my focus I began to will the world to change. Blacks and greys swirled about me trying to peel off my skin like before. Instead of willing the world to what I wanted though I needed to make it the demon’s world. I stood there, waiting to sense his presence again. When he popped up behind me for the briefest second I attached my will to his. I don’t think either of us was expecting it because both of us jumped at the touch. The mind I touched scraped against my own and we both recoiled at what we felt. I really hoped that my inner demon had flinched because I represented everything it wasn’t. Because if there was some twisted part of me hidden deep in my core being that could make that thing flinch I felt I would have vomit like I had the first night. Despite our revulsions towards each other, however, I had managed to make the link. As the world popped, twisted, and turned, its strings being plucked, I felt the clouds collapse upon me, coagulating into the whatever horrific reality this little version of me came from. When it cleared it wasn’t what I was expecting. It was the Dwair. But it was so very different from the one I remembered. The sky peaking through the windows was a deep rusty red. Like the moon on the stained glass window from the other night I had the oddest sense it was dead. “Oh my…” “Shut up.” “But this is-“ “Shut up!” I walked through the Dweir as Discord continued muttering to himself. I didn’t really care to listen to him anymore, although the words “He actually did it…” continued to come about in his mumblings. The walls were in shambles, and the carpet was faded. For all intents and purposes it looked like an abandoned castle but I knew it was the Dwair. The odd part wasn’t that it was in ruins though, it was the puppets. No matter where you looked puppets hung down from the ceiling, laughing at you. Their cold glassy eyes had the same look of insanity I had seen on many of the other demonic offshoots of me. The more I saw how twisted these versions of me were the more I was determined to stop thinking of them as me. To me they were just demons… Or at least that’s what I tried to tell myself… The puppets didn’t just have the eyes though, but the grin. That horrible, horrible grin. Their silent taunting followed me through the halls as I looked for myself. As creepy as they all looked though I had the strangest sense I recognized them from somewhere though. It didn’t occur to me who they were puppets of until I found the first Wonderbolt puppet. It was Soarin too. No matter the glassy eyes or the grin that wasn’t his I could still tell it was him. What had I done here? “Aww… What’s the matter? Aren’t you glad to see me?” it asked as I turned away to continue on. My head snapped back to look at it, horrified at what I was hearing. It was Soarin’s voice. “I thought you’d be glad to see me after that little incident today. You know… The one where I died because you let me launch into space?” The mouth clacked open and closed while it talked. Its glassy eyes rolled back and forth as if he was struggling against unseen bonds. Spittle frothed at the edge of the demented wooden grin that somehow managed to keep its appearance up while it talked. “I trusted you... We all did… We thought you would help us but you didn’t, did you?” The other puppets danced to life as I backed away, echoing the Soarin puppet. “We trusted you… Why did you fail?” the drone of everypony that lived in the Dwair with me filled my ears, “Why did you let us die?” I ran through the mass of puppets trying to get away, but they were everywhere. No matter where I ran they were there droning at me, every single one of them. They cackled and swayed as I passed, reaching out with wooden hands to try and catch me. Splinters burned into my flanks as I ran but I didn’t care. I just had to get away. Suddenly, one of the puppets tripped me, throwing me to the floor. I was sobbing at this point. Torn between guilt for having done this and anger at Discord for having killed my friends. That’s what this was right? A world where I had let him kill them? To hell with the version of me I was supposed to face here. Discord had done this in this world. It was Discord who should pay. “Baffle…” “Shut up! This is all your fault!” I said, wrenching myself to my feet as I felt a lion paw on my shoulder. Scrambling away from him I fled into the depths of the Dwair. I couldn’t kill my Discord, not yet at least, but this was my mind I was in and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him get away with this. Running deeper and deeper into the Dwair I ran into more and more puppets. They no longer just stood there and pleaded with me. They dropped to the floor and swarmed me. I was drowning in a sea of wooden flesh and glass eyes. They batted at me, pleading with me to save them. I tried to ignore them but finally there were too many for me to continue on. “I’m sorry…” I choked out while crying, “I’m so sorry…” Gathering my willpower I blasted them away from me. Some fell through the windows to the ground below, splintering when they hit, but they kept coming and I could still hear their pleas. Swarmed again, I sobbed as I accepted what I had to do. Bringing all the hatred and spite I felt into my mind I let it blaze forth. Fires as black as midnight burnt forth from my body, consuming the puppets. I swayed with the power that coursed through me as I considered what I’d do to Discord in here. There’s no way I’d let him get off easy. Not only had he killed all my friends but he had me kill them too. Who cared if they were just puppets, it was all part of his mind games with me. "Baffle, stop!” As Discord spoke behind me I blasted the black fire that still coursed through my veins at him. He side-stepped it and looked back at me as if he was going to try again. “Silence! After I’m done with you here you’ll have a taste for what I’ll do to you when I’m strong enough! Don’t you ever think I’ll listen to you again without hating every fiber of your being! You will pay for this!” I ran down the hall not even bothering to see if he followed. I knew he’d at least watch. And this time maybe he’d learn to fear too. Running through the halls, wooden shells of all my friends accosted me, Spitfire, Soarin, Fancypants, and Octavia to name a few. Everypony I ever knew wailed at me, asking why I didn’t save them. I burned through them all to get to him. I could hear his laughter now. I could feel it in the air, and at last made it to where I knew he would be, the throne room. Bursting through the door, I ran into its dark confines. No light shone here. No wondrous day, or mysterious night. Not even the rays of the dead sky outside made it in here to the heart of the beast. The throne was outlined in shadow but I could see him there, sitting on the throne. “Welcome Baffle!” the shadow cackled, “You know I’ve been looking forward to this little showdown. Planned it for years really. Do you like what I’ve done with the place?” The throne room, like the rest of the Dwair, had puppets hanging from every inch of ceiling watching me with their dead eyes and mad grins. The Discord of this world shifted in his chair laughing as I took it in. There was something odd in the movement though. “You’re going to pay for what you did!” I yelled into the darkness. “What I did? Don’t you mean what you did?” He laughed, tumbling to the floor. I realized what was wrong now. He was a puppet, just like everything else in here. Another pair of dead glassy eyes stared up at from the massive Discord puppet. Slowly it began to burn in flames as dark as midnight. Smoke filled the room as the Discord puppet burned away and the other puppets began laughing at me. Amidst the smoke I saw another puppet had taken the throne. “You thought it was me?” said the voice of Discord ringing through the hall, “Well it wasn’t me.” The voice shifted to my own. “It was me.” Slowly the puppet looked up to my face, eyes burning with hatred. “I failed them. You failed them. We all failed them.” More things dropped from the ceiling to hang now. It wasn’t more puppets. It was the corpses of my friends. They hung there rotting and gaunt. They hung there because I failed them. Suddenly the puppet was in front of me. I hadn’t even seen it move, but it was there. “Poor little Baffle must be so heartbroken to see such a thing. Or you would be if you had a heart to care. It was that day at the coliseum you know. We let it fester and brew inside us. We swore to kill him. We did it too, but it was too late.” The corpse of Discord dropped to hang from the ceiling now. I hadn’t really thought I would actually ever see him dead. It was almost sad to see him like that. The puppet continued to talk as I stared at the corpse of my guardian. “We fought him fiercely, valiantly even, but it wasn’t enough, because in the end it was us who killed them all. A battle of wills so great that even the gods would fear to watch. We may not have been born a god but here where willpower is everything it is almost as if we were one. We slaughtered him. Discord never stood a chance, but then again neither did the others.” “You killed them in your all consuming hatred! YOU DID!” The puppet screamed, kicking me into the wall. I was too horrified to speak back. What had I done? The puppet picked me back up and flung me amidst the hanging mass of the dead. Puppets and corpses alike clung at me as I was entangled in the mess of strings. The puppet of myself walked slowly toward me. No grin, no dead eyes. Just a burning grimace of hatred. “We’re going to pay for our crimes…” he whispered when he reached me, “I just want to see how it feels first.” With that the puppet began to pummel me. It beat me with kicks and and bites and rams. As the hail of blows landed on me I accepted them. I was a monster. Suddenly time seemed to slow. Or at least that’s what it looked like. Everything around me was barely moving. “Baffle! Snap out of it! This isn’t you!” “What do you care? You’re that one that drove me to it!” The puppet continued pummeling me ever so slowly. When it stopped it picked me from the strings and took me towards the throne. There were two strings hanging there from the ceiling. I knew what they were for. “Baffle! I don’t care if you never listen to me again but I need you to stop right now and look around you! See the world as it is, not as he wants!” Something in Discord's voice was different. I don’t know what it was but I woke from my slump slightly. Casting my eyes around the room I saw what I had not seen before. It wasn’t the puppets doing this to me, but rather the shadow dancing between them all. It was so fast I could barely see it but it was there. It moved between all the puppets and corpses as quick as lightning, making them all plead and cry for their savior. Time slowed further and I saw who it was. It was the real me. The demon of this part of my mind. Quick as a flash everything I was supposed to be doing came home to me. This wasn’t my fault. It was his. He was zipping around the room so fast that it was impossible to see him when time moved normally, but now I saw him and his savage grin. As the puppet advanced me towards the strings I thought furiously of a way to beat him. Only one thing came into my mind. Waiting for just the right moment I willed my body to a new position. It wasn’t much. All I really did was will my leg to stick out at a speed beyond what anyone could catch. As I stuck my leg out my demon came barreling over to move the puppet carrying me ever so slightly forward. The end result, needless to say, was that he tripped. Flying forward over my leg he crashed into the wall. At such an enormous velocity he couldn’t possibly survive impact. I could hear the bone crack as he crashed. He’d never seen it coming. Time returned to normal and the puppets and corpses sagged to the floor. I dropped to the floor exhausted from the ordeal. While trying to organize the turmoil of thoughts in my head a shadow loomed over me and a familiar lion paw touched my shoulder. “Still think killing me is a good idea after this?” “No…” I said shuddering, “I don’t know what I’ll do but it isn’t that…” Silence hung heavily in the air as I sat there shaking. “Thanks by the way…” I finally said after a couple minutes, “What did you do?” “The same thing you did to the Wonderbolts. It was a fascinating trick. I’ll have to remember it for the future. I can slow down and savor the chaos then.” With that we just sat there waiting for my training to end for the night. John Perry once again was behind proofreading my many, many errors. So thanks.